I realized why the Sherlock Holmes/John Watson ship has become so strangely pivotal to me over the past seven or so years.
Sherlock Holmes is a character which does not attempt to disguise any quality about himself, including the negative ones. He is absolutely authentic and unconcerned with what people think of him, he is primarily motivated by his interest in puzzles. He is a mental powerhouse, with a complete lack of interest in the social world. He is not motivated by greed, fame, and recognition. Only by his own fixations. Many have diagnosed Holmes as being on the Autism and/or ADHD spectrum, I am not equipped to do so, but I’ve found the general consensus is that Holmes is likely not neurotypical. He makes no attempt at masking, he is unabashedly himself, which is envious.
Often neurodivergent people mask (including myself) because they are sure their true expressions of behavior will not be accepted by others. His is generally not, yet his skills provide such a valuable service that he is still respected and utilized, though still not generally appreciated in his non-work related habits. In comes John Watson.
If one was to look closely at Watson, they would see someone who loves Holmes anyways, despite his eccentricities, without the mask. He assists him in what he loves most, and helps him through the other parts of his life which he struggles to manage. He is willing to go to the ends of the earth to assist Holmes in his cases. He assists him with his health related issues (addictions, poor eating, etc), he essentially and truly is HIS doctor. If one was to go by the fantasy of the Johnlock ship, they would find a likely deeply repressed, slow burning, intimate passion they share mixed with love, lust, annoyance, jealousy and envy. The stories were set in a time where gay interaction was seen as immoral, or harmful to health. If caught, you could be arrested. This is one point which divides the asexual vs gay argument. Many see the asexuality as a veiled implication. Nonetheless they clearly share a very deep connection, I see them both as men who experienced some kind of disconnect with society and who lean on each other. Watson, being the war. Holmes, with his social disconnect/disinterest.
Holmes is not a sociopath, for he develops true love for Watson, platonic or romantic.
“If you had killed Watson, you would not have got out of this room alive.”
“You're not hurt, Watson? For God's sake, say that you are not hurt!"
“It was worth a wound -- it was worth many wounds -- to know the depth of loyalty and love which lay behind that cold mask. The clear, hard eyes were dimmed for a moment, and the firm lips were shaking. For the one and only time I caught a glimpse of a great heart as well as of a great brain. All my years of humble but single-minded service culminated in that moment of revelation.”
Watson is likely one of the first people to appreciate Holmes for every aspect of his personality, which is deeply affirming. I was bullied so terribly throughout my life that I had no choice but to mask. I have a constant fear that I will not be able to find anyone who will love me without it, and that when I do and the mask drops, they will grow to hate me. My truest self can be annoying and sometimes difficult to be around. I’ve gone throughout my life feeling like an imposter. Seeing someone truly fall in love, completely authentically, with someone like Holmes is what has kept me in the Johnlock ship for so long. As a friend told me, ‘You love it because it makes you think, if someone like Holmes can be loved, so can you.’
As a kid, I kept ‘files’ on my friends growing up. I analyzed their behavior, I had charts and graphs for what I predicted they’d do. In retrospect I felt incredibly creepy, but it was my way of attempting to understand people. Holmes’ way of deducing using fact in order to understand social situations (namely murders) has always resonated with me in an unspoken bond. The thought of someone finding that part of me ‘incredible’ has kept me here since I was fourteen. These books have given me great comfort, and the ship has given me hope that someone could actually love me for what I am.




















