A story about a desperate struggle against the world and against oneself.
World is heavily based on the world of Weather Factory's games, Cultist Simulator and Book of Hours, and does not necessarily strive for 100% accuracy.
Satis Es
"A hero who does not struggle, does not sacrifice, is no hero at all."
To go "Plus Ultra," one must have a limit to break, a threshold that gives their struggle meaning. What happens when a simple girl that possesses power beyond the ken of mere heroes and villains begins to exert her presence on society? What does being a hero mean when an effortless solution is just around the corner?
Can the drive to go "Plus Ultra" coexist with a presence that quietly insists that "You are enough?"
One Shots
If you have a writing prompt or something, you can drop it in my asks. You can also ask about other stuff, I suppose.
Tags
#an unmaking: The tag used for the eponymous Cultist Simulator/Sixth History fanfiction, An Unmaking.
#satis es: The tag used for the eponymous My Hero Academia fanfiction, Satis Es.
#inhuman after all: The tag used for the eponymous original short story, Inhuman After All, a story about an inhuman little creature finding her place in the world.
#tarballfeatherparade: The tag that this blog is named after. Posts tagged as such are longer form thoughts on things, as well as writing announcements.
#clutterfog: The tag used for reposts and shorter thoughts. Mutually exclusive with #tarballfeatherparade except for explanatory posts such as this one.
I don't particularly post anymore, mostly because I've felt less motivated to as of late. I've always had friction with the posting process; the formatting, the polishing, the tagging. Writing has mostly been a thing I've done consistently privately, so this is just a return to form, mostly.
But I have the Limitless paper, at least. And I am proud of it. So I've returned to put it out on my blog.
I created a blog for the ordinary gal from MHA to live outside of the fanfic, since I've been writing short stories with her as an original fic as trash comfort food for myself. And I guess that cleaning it up and putting it out there might make some people happy.
I decided to throw her into a blog mostly because the kayfabe amuses me and I think that user interaction could be fun, mostly. But you can also think of it as a seperate short stories blog that are specifically about first-person ordinary gal-narrated thoughts.
If you're a fan of the stuff I write, please do check it out. Thank you.
The paper's nearly done. The one that I struggle to describe in blog-friendly terms, mostly because it's not exactly a blog-friendly paper.
It is the Phenomenological Model of the Limitless as a Regularized Hydrodynamic Manifold.
...Limitless Fluid Paper works fine for now.
Well, yes, it is nearly done. It is around 30 pages long, it probably requires an undergraduate degree in physics to understand, and it is also a character piece about a grieving niece formalizing her uncle as a form of memorial.
....Surprise! This is a writer's blog, and I'm still going to write fiction, even in a paper like this. Besides, it would be all too dry if the author of the paper was just... generic academic physicist voice.
There she is, putting her name on my work. My little Gojo creature. The girl with the Limitless and no Six Eyes.
Now, the paper is practically done. The only work left is honestly me figuring out how to post this in a way that is readable to like... I'm aiming for something that's understandable to STEM Bachelor's holders... with the basics available for everyone. The paper itself is a bit... too far for that? But that's fine. I'll figure out the bridge somehow.
I'll throw out a few more fun(?) things. Sneak peaks.
These are our major symbols. If you're formally trained, you might get the general shape of what I'm doing from this alone. At least... hopefully... all the important symbols should be here.
And there it is.
Lime Green.
We must have Lime Green, after all. A theoretical physics paper that doesn't use its model to predict is a worthless physics paper. And I'm not going to be boring and naming it "Technique δ" for being the fourth offensive Limitless technique. It has to be Lime Green, dammit.
And here, a linguistic fun fact. It will be important later.
That's all from me this time. It's difficult for me to tell what people find interesting about this project from the outside to include in these sneak peeks. More equations? I'm not sure about the level of understanding most readers have on fluid dynamics, so I'm not sure if my personal usage Navier-Stokes equation would garner interest, even if it is famous (to me, at least).
For those who do know of it, we beat the shit out of it to simplify it down to the Stokes equation and then rip out the mobility limit to actually use. Because no, the full thing is not worth the bother, and hopefully I justified it properly enough.
Oh. I should have probably included the full table of contents. That's a good one.
Yep. It's a lot. If you don't understand, don't worry; it's not meant to be. If you do... well, I'm giving half the game away. But derivations are where the magic happens.
The paper's nearly done. The one that I struggle to describe in blog-friendly terms, mostly because it's not exactly a blog-friendly paper.
It is the Phenomenological Model of the Limitless as a Regularized Hydrodynamic Manifold.
...Limitless Fluid Paper works fine for now.
Well, yes, it is nearly done. It is around 30 pages long, it probably requires an undergraduate degree in physics to understand, and it is also a character piece about a grieving niece formalizing her uncle as a form of memorial.
....Surprise! This is a writer's blog, and I'm still going to write fiction, even in a paper like this. Besides, it would be all too dry if the author of the paper was just... generic academic physicist voice.
There she is, putting her name on my work. My little Gojo creature. The girl with the Limitless and no Six Eyes.
Now, the paper is practically done. The only work left is honestly me figuring out how to post this in a way that is readable to like... I'm aiming for something that's understandable to STEM Bachelor's holders... with the basics available for everyone. The paper itself is a bit... too far for that? But that's fine. I'll figure out the bridge somehow.
I'll throw out a few more fun(?) things. Sneak peaks.
These are our major symbols. If you're formally trained, you might get the general shape of what I'm doing from this alone. At least... hopefully... all the important symbols should be here.
And there it is.
Lime Green.
We must have Lime Green, after all. A theoretical physics paper that doesn't use its model to predict is a worthless physics paper. And I'm not going to be boring and naming it "Technique δ" for being the fourth offensive Limitless technique. It has to be Lime Green, dammit.
And here, a linguistic fun fact. It will be important later.
That's all from me this time. It's difficult for me to tell what people find interesting about this project from the outside to include in these sneak peeks. More equations? I'm not sure about the level of understanding most readers have on fluid dynamics, so I'm not sure if my personal usage Navier-Stokes equation would garner interest, even if it is famous (to me, at least).
For those who do know of it, we beat the shit out of it to simplify it down to the Stokes equation and then rip out the mobility limit to actually use. Because no, the full thing is not worth the bother, and hopefully I justified it properly enough.
I wrote this surrealist story(?) on my phone. You may view it as an expression of frustration at the lack of my computer, a piece by its own merit, or simply a truth or a lie.
CW: A guy gets eaten. Sorta metaphorically.
---
I'd met a girl once.
Perhaps, with that kind of start, you'd expect a story full of saucy bits and romance. But it was not to be, for she was no true "girl". Something that resembled a girl, something that could look like one, but I knew that it was not flesh and blood that dwelled within her shell. It was something dark yet so burstingly full of life, and in those moments when I was closest to her, I felt as though I was being consumed by it.
It all began when I saw her in some random food court in the shopping district, and her beautiful appearance took me in. She had wavy black hair, hair that almost flowed. And yet, what really drew me in were her eyes.
Deep, pitch-black wells that exposed that shell for what it was. Bottomless, soulless, yet so inviting.
I had approached her, of course; how could I not? But as I did, she turned away, and she was gone in a blur before I could catch up to her. But what was left shocked me to my core.
A napkin neatly folded, and on it, in delicate handwriting, was my own name.
"Owen," it read. "Meet me tonight at the old church on the hill."
I didn't go, but the next morning, I found the same napkin with the same words by my pillow.
---
I went, and she was there. In the dark, she radiated a strange and mysterious warmth, one so familiar yet so far. It was almost like a mother's touch, but one that had forgotten about me long ago.
She was different from that time at the food court. Not in a physical sense—her hair, her eyes, her figure were still the same. It was something else. She was less... guarded. Less human, or should I say, less pretending to be human. The shell was still there, but it was leaking, the blackness seeping through, making it all the more wonderful.
"Your wool is stained, Owen," she told me, her voice so soft yet thick, filled with a substance that was not quite blood. "Is that so bad?"
"Is it not?" I asked, not quite understanding the implications. I did not know what my wool was or what it was stained with. But my hands picked away at it regardless.
"In a world filled with little lies and bigger truths, is it not a wonderful thing to be stained with what you truly are?" As she said this, the blackness that filled her eyes seemed to swirl and churn like some living storm. "Are you a lie? Or are you the truth?"
"Am I not both?" I asked, and the shell that she was in smiled.
"Bold is the one who lies and knows it. But bolder is the one who lies and believes it." Her head jerked as if something was pulling her neck from behind. "You saw through my shell to the spillage. Do I stain my body, or is my body a stain on I?"
I did not know what she meant by this and tried to tell her so. But my mouth could not form any more words. Instead, it kept chewing, chewing on something without taste or texture. It was a strange feeling, not knowing what was in my own mouth, not having any control over it either.
But I did know, didn't I? It was a stain.
"Are you a lie?" she said again. "Or are you the truth?"
My wool felt wet and heavy, but my fingers would not stop picking at it. And the wetter it became, the lighter it felt.
"What are you?" I tried to ask her, but my mouth continued to chew. Chew on something that was neither hard nor soft. It burst from my mouth, black ink that gurgled and sputtered and spattered all over the floor.
"Ah, a lie," she answered the question that I had left unsaid, and I wanted to scream that she was wrong. That she was the most truthful thing I'd ever laid my eyes on. But I could not. My mouth was still chewing. My fingers still picking away at my wool. My wool was now soaked and dripping and oh so light.
"Do not worry," she said, and her words reached out and held me, cradled me. "Your wool is stained, Owen. That is not such a bad thing. Do not pick so hard. You'll unravel, and then you will be no more."
And so, my fingers stopped, and I was at peace.
"I know what you are," I said to her, and the words came out this time. "You are a wonderful truth. You are an angel."
"I reject your truth," she replied, eyes devouring my mutton. "To pin such a large truth on a little white lie is a sin most foul."
But she was neither little nor white nor lie. My legs collapsed, my mutton carved out from within, and I fell to my knees. She was before me; she was so big, and I was so small, and she was so good, and I was so stained.
"Are you a lie? Or are you the truth?"
"Neither!" I could not take it anymore, her presence, her being, and I screamed for the whole world to hear. I wanted out.
But that, too, was a lie.
My wool was gone, my mutton ripe for the taking, and there was no going back. I could only go forward and hope and pray that she would allow me to do so.
"To be neither is so, so very... unfulfilling." Her head jerked again, her body twisting and convulsing. The shell was cracking. The blackness within was pouring out. It covered me, and it was warm. It was a lie, I realized. That was the truth.
I chewed, and I chewed, but the lie would not come out. It was stuck inside me in a place I could not reach. My wool was gone, and my mutton was bare. But I was still stained. I was still stained.
"Please!" I cried. "Why am I still stained? I am no longer covered in wool! My mutton is ripe! Please! Please! Take it, take it from me!"
"Because you are stained with the truth," she answered.
And so it was.
She was a lie, and I was the truth. I could only cry, even as she devoured my mutton, even as her teeth bit into my skin, even as my mother embraced me one last time.
A quick, slapdash extra note for those interested, I've gotten this one fully written out on Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/64715116/chapters/166269403
Forgot if I advertised it or not, but if you like above, there's a bit more. Not too much, but two more chapters.
So I haven't posted anything lately. Unfortunately, this is due to scope creep on my next project. Here's a taste of what's to come:
...It's way too high-level and way too dry for fandom consumption yet, but this is my next... fan-work? Theoretical physics paper? It's a...
Phenomenological Model of the Limitless as a Regularized Hydrodynamic Manifold
....Yeah, that's a lot. I honestly have no idea how I'm going to make this into a suitable Blog Post for Tumblr, but I want to smooth out the rigor of my model first. There's a few bumps left, but I'm fairly certain about the raw meat of my model now.
To break down the title for those who are not in STEM:
Phenomenological Model: A model built on observation, not based from bottom-up fundamentals. I watched Satoru Gojo do his Limitless and I made a model out of it.
of the Limitless. The Cursed Technique.
Regularized: It's controlled infinity. Actual infinity in unchecked models lead to breakage.
Hydrodynamic: It's about "fluid." Space fluid. Space water.
Manifold: It takes place in regular space. The space part of space fluid.
The below is still an active work in progress:
This is what I have so far for the unified field equation. It needs some more work, of course. There's some constants I kind of just threw around to make the model work that I need to define properly. But if you're curious about why I chose hydrodynamics as the model of my field, here it is.
I do want to get back to the rest of my work, of course, but writing something like this demands it to be finished before I move on. Coming back to papers like this after a break is a headache.
Sorry for the delays on my more... normal works. I hope there are people who can appreciate this kind of rigorous model for a fictional magic system out there.
Math and Physics Notes on Jujutsu Kaisen: Projection Sorcery and Limitless
Jujutsu Kaisen Manga Spoilers below.
How exciting, math!
Well, hopefully. I know that not everyone is particularly interested in this subject, but my blog is unfortunately a place for dense, long analysis of themes, and now, maths.
Jujutsu Kaisen, in my opinion, has math concepts... in it. I don't hate its usage of abstract mathematics, but it is not exactly a flawless system. That is expected; it is a shonen story about punching negative emotions to death.
The primary purpose of this small series of blog posts is not to dunk on Jujutsu Kaisen for its flaky math. Instead, I would like to use it to explore the basic ideas it presents to step forwards a bit into a few more advanced concepts, before tying these concepts back to the core themes of the writing itself.
In other words, this is a combination of pedagogical explanations of math and physics and thematic analysis. Canon adherence comes at a third, but since I'm trying to stay true to the themes, things should hopefully come close enough in spirit.
In simpler words, this is turbo nerd shit times two.
I'm planning three topics of this mini series. I'll update this post with links when they're done.
Projection Sorcery and Limitless (you're here!)
Perfect Sphere and Liquid Metal
The World Cutting Slash
So, let's get to the bottom of what everyone thinks of when they think of Jujutsu Kaisen's mathematics, and probably Jujutsu Kaisen in general:
Satoru Gojo and his Limitless. Specifically, today is just Neutral Limitless. Blue, Red, and Hollow Purple... well, I don't have much positive to say about them. They serve their purpose as big anime shonen blasts.
The official definition for Neutral Infinity, or Limitless, specifies that it brings the convergent series into real life. Specifically, it brings the abstract mathematical idea that if we infinitely divide a number, it will never reach zero.
Essentially, he's enforcing the limit of d → 0.
(This isn't quite right, but it's a good visual.)
Now, this is something that a real-life ancient mathematician/philosopher brought up: Zeno’s Paradox of Dichotomy. The paradox states that to reach a destination, you must first travel half the distance, then half the remaining distance, then half of that, and so on.
Now, there's a raw mathematical reason this doesn't work: Infinite convergent series aren't necessarily infinite when summed; their sum can still be finite. The infinite series 1/2 + 1/4 + 1/8 + 1/16... still sums to 1.
But we're not here to blast Gojo for not adhering to reality, because it turns out that Cursed Techniques aren't real.
Here's how we can make the thing still function. We'll approach it from a slightly more complex manner. The thing is literally called Limitless.
Neutral Infinity just removes the ability to approach the limit (Satoru Gojo), which is the sum of the convergent series.
-----
Now, we've established Infinity. What's that about Projection Sorcery?
So. Projection Sorcery. Defined in canon by the 24-frame rule, the technique discretizes a single second into 24 preprogrammed frames, which the sorcerer then moves through. It's used both to speed up at the cost of making the user predictable as well as trapping anything the user touches that does not obey this rule.
Now, I used a particular word there. What does discretize actually mean? Well, it's any kind of division of a something into a separate, countable parts. Like how a bag of apples are countable. Or how the continuous flow of time might be cut into 24 distinct frames.
Time, usually, is continuous. We do attempt to discretize it usually, using minutes and seconds, but time doesn't actually obey our countable rules. Not unless you're a Projection Sorcerer.
Right, so we can define Projection Sorcery as a discretization function. What does that do for us?
-----
Well, let's go back to Infinity. The conceit of Infinity requires that space is continuous, that if you divide space over and over, we never hit an indivisible, atomic limit.
So all we have to do is apply a discretization function to Infinity, and we can pass through it.
But Projection Sorcery only applies to time, right? So it's no good. Projection Sorcerers still move in between their frames. Right?
Well, now it's time for Special Relativity. A very simplified high level overview is that Special Relativity is the axiom that space and time are one and the same, linked by velocity.
So what? What does that mean?
We can look at the regular velocity function, v=dx/dt. This essentially says velocity is change in position over time. Easy, right?
Now, we discretize the time variable, t, into Δt=1/24.
And if we discretize time, we must discretize space. Otherwise, we get really weird shit like infinte velocity or undefined behavior.
This means that Projection Sorcerers shouldn't "move" in between frames at all. They should purely teleport. But this isn't true. Why?
----
And now we come to the thematic part of this post.
It's about mindset.
Why is Gojo able to implement abstract math into reality? The canon reasoning is that Gojo has the Six Eyes, which gives him the Cursed Energy control to use a typically draining Technique efficiently.
And we can take that as true still, but since we know that it gives Gojo atomic vision and all, why not say it also affects how he approaches Limitless? He knows how the world works, so he knows how to apply his Cursed Technique to break it.
How do the Projection Sorcerers, Naobito and Naoya approach their Sorcery?
In terms of animation. And animation doesn't appear as 24 distinct, separate frames. Our brain interpolates movement between still frames, and thus, due to their mindset, Naobito and Naoya move between their frames.
They're breaking reality to make their own technique weaker.
I adore this explanation, because it fits in to the Zenin's folly so well.
The Zenins had two other ways to defeat Satoru Gojo.
The Heavenly Restriction physical monsters, as proven by Toji's near-success against teenaged Gojo.
The Ten Shadows and Mahoraga, which ultimately didn't work out, but might have done so in theory.
And with this headcanon, even Projection Sorcery, the dismissed second fiddle technique of the Zenin clan, could have the potential to defeat Gojo. How?
Well, Zeno's paradox requires a continuous function by definition. If you want to divide space in half forever, space has to always be able to be divided.
With a technique capable of discretizing space, the Zenins could have held teleportation within their grasp. But again and again, their insistence on tradition forces them into ruts.
Thus, my headcanon: If the two Zenin men had stopped thinking of their Projection Sorcery as animation frames and started thinking of it as discretizing space and time, they could have bypassed Infinity.
Defeating Gojo is another story. Bypassing Infinity is by no means an instant win button. After all, isn't that the famous question? "Are you The Strongest because you’re Satoru Gojo, or are you Satoru Gojo because you’re The Strongest?"
It's because he's Gojo. Toji ultimately failed, Mahoraga ultimately failed, and this theoretical Spatial Projection Sorcerer, thematically, must fail as well.
(Sukuna comes later. We'll talk about him, don't worry.)
But I think that Projection Sorcery, wielded by someone with the right mindset, could be so much more.
Ah well.
I wish there were better ways to represent math functions on Tumblr. I might try and work in the Markdown editor, but not this time. I just wanted to get this out there.
If you got all the way down here, I hope you enjoyed. I'll have two more of these coming out whenever I get it out of my brain and down into text, so if you did, look forward to that.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapter 4, the first half of the Sports Festival.
I hope the pacing is tight enough for everyone. I'm trying to strike a balance between "too much detail, we've seen the show before, stop rehashing" and "I have no idea where in the story we are."
There's not too much to say about these early arcs. In both My Hero Academia and Satis Est, we are establishing the world and characters. The Sports Festival will have its first significant incident occurring next chapter, at least.
Anyways, if you read up to here so far, please let me know what you think of the pacing. Poll in the Keep Reading section below.
For anyone new: What is Satis Est about?
How is the pacing?
Please go slower. Include more entries that go over canon plot beats.
Please go faster. Skip more canon plot beats so long as they have no changes.
Small update post so people don't wonder where I went. Going to be out for the rest of the month due to a few different intersecting issues. Take care.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
"Satis Es" is Latin for "You are enough."
It is the opposite of "Plus Ultra," or "Go Beyond."
Thus, we begin our journey once more. A journey about heroes, a journey about striving, a journey about snubbed endings and the feeling of not being enough.
This will be a story about an ordinary gal and the world she does not fit in.
More notes here: On Heroes, Mary Sues, and the Nature of Struggle
Chapters 1 and 2 cover the Entrance Exam and USJ Incident.
Before I post my fanfiction, I'd like to begin by posting some thoughts on the nature of My Hero Academia, as I assume that the majority of my current follower base has little knowledge of the series. It is quite different from my previous spheres of canon.
Now, the core thematic question of My Hero Academia is ultimately: "What does it mean to be a hero?"
The answer that the canon series provides is there from the very beginning: "Plus Ultra," the spirit and willpower to break through your limits to save.
Now, that's all well and good. I don't disagree with this answer. But that brings up a question: "Can you be a hero without struggle?"
"Plus Ultra" is Latin for "Go Beyond." It implies a limit to surpass, a struggle. Is a hero a hero without this sense of striving and sacrifice?
Let's look at a canon example, Mirio Togata during the Shie Hassakai raid. Spoilers for this event under the Read More.
One of the plot devices of this arc are the Quirk-destroying bullets. Destroying one's Quirk, or superpower, essentially renders them permanently powerless. Their introduction earlier in the arc essentially serves as a Chekov's Gun: Someone is losing their Quirk and their superheroic identity.
And so, in canon, Mirio puts up a heroic fight against the main villain of the arc, Overhaul, before being trapped by his subordinate. The subordinate fires one of the Quirk-destroying bullets at Eri, a child that Mirio feels he has personally let down in the past and is fiercely fighting to protect. And so, Mirio takes the bullet for Eri, condemning his own heroic potential and making the ultimate sacrifice. He then continues to fight, Quirkless, against Overhaul, proving that the Plus Ultra heroic spirit burns within him.
That is My Hero Academia's definition of a true hero.
I posit this question: Would Mirio still be a hero if he did not have to make this sacrifice? He would. He is still fighting and striving to save an innocent girl. But he would be less heroic, in some sense.
This is due to the narrative of struggle. A hero who does not struggle, does not sacrifice, is no hero at all.
Let's now pivot to the Mary Sue. This is a rather problematic archetype to name and use, due to the ties it has to sexism and the general public understanding that it is okay to shit on teenaged girls, who are the most likely to produce a Mary Sue in their writings.
But it is a useful shorthand for the idea I am presenting, so we must unravel some of the metanarrative baggage surrounding the term and confront the core idea: A character that is effortlessly powerful to the point that they warp the narrative around them.
I ask the question: "Can a Mary Sue be a hero?"
Being a Mary Sue precludes struggle. It is why it is considered a negative trope, after all. They reduce narrative weight and stakes. There is no question, only the solution.
But there is a tension there, no? A Mary Sue that wishes to be a hero, but her fundamental nature means she cannot struggle.
It all comes back to another question asked by My Hero Academia.
"Can anyone be a hero?"
Canon approaches this from a typical, underdog perspective. Can Quirkless Midoriya prove he is a hero? The definition of a hero, ultimately, aligns with his perspective.
Now, what about our Mary Sue, from the other side of the spectrum? Can someone who wields effortless, omnipotent power be a hero?
I recently saw this post by @blue-lagoon-farmer, so big thanks to him and the anon asker.
I found one point relevant to my own works about comments and feedback. I'm someone who can appreciate any comment on my works, positive or negative, as long as they've genuinely put in the effort to engage at all. I've already updated my Ao3 bio, but since that doesn't feel like a place that actually gets seen, I felt it would be prudent to place the update here, in case anyone was curious or worried about commenting.
Feel free to leave pretty much any kind of comment on my work. Minor critique (spelling, grammar), major critique (themes, character inconsistency, plot holes), and constructive criticism are all welcome. Pretty much everything with substance I'll allow. The only things I won't particularly care for are substance-less comments (bot comments, AI accusations, and troll comments). If you're engaging with my work on any level, feel free to leave a comment, positive or negative.
And that's basically it. No matter your thoughts, if you have any at all, I'd welcome them.
I'll probably have some actual writing out today or tomorrow. Hopefully. Thank you for your time.
I’ve said it before, but I must open by saying it again: Congratulations on completing An Unmaking! Now that my customary congratulations are out of the way, hi! It’s me again!
Personally, I first found you and your body of work thanks to it being part of the Cultist Simulator fandom. (It is quite saddening just how little content there is for this fandom, I feel that I am approaching having read/consumed every last piece on content there is!). But, I think the reason I followed you and your writing so closely, even while I was still only reading for the fandom, was because I adored your writing. Eventually, it reached the point where I was reading your works almost obsessively, reading just about everything you’ve made from your subreddit, to your tumblr, your ao3, etc.. I fell in love with your writing, and it was no longer about which fandom or genre you were using as a medium through which to write.
To this end, I will zealously support and fervently read any and all writing you produce so long as it is still obtainable by myself. I have no fears concerning what fandom you elect to grace next with your writing, because all of it will be (and has been) fantastic. Obviously, more well known fandoms such as MHA, Rezero, etc. will likely be found by more people, if that is your intention. On the flip side, smaller fandoms like Secret Histories was or like Worms (I have not even heard of this one myself yet! So, thank you for the unintentional recommendation!) are going to attract a smaller audience but likely, at least from my albeit limited experience, an audience that is more devoted to the fandom in question, and by proxy, the work you create within it.
My recommendation, if it holds any merit, is to examine how much importance you place on the audience you attract. And, following that, the most important factor in making your decision is determining which piece of media would serve as the most effective medium for conveying the work and writing you wish to create. This is lingering on worship now (which is well deserved), but anything you write will be incredible and will almost assuredly (I am an optimist) garner at least a small and devoted audience of readers. The question then becomes which fandom (or perhaps via an original world of your own creation) is best at facilitating the portrayal of what you want to convey. All of them, even ones not on this list, are capable of sufficiently fulfilling the role of a setting, but only you may decide which is most enjoyable for you as the author to work within, in spite of and/or against to produce your creation.
I sincerely will read anything you choose to write. Where it is set matters not.
Mal, a devoted reader
(On the topic of original works and publishing, I am sorry to say but I feel my input would be of little use to anyone. I have frighteningly little experience in this subject, and the attempts I have made have all failed dramatically due to my lacking of an established audience to garner attention. I am always working on at least one project, usually many more than that actually (likely to the detriment of my mental health), but recently I’ve reevaluated my goals and realized that I truly do not care near as much as I used to when it comes to how my work is received. This sentiment is not to be misconstrued with me not caring if people see my works or not, for I would love to be able to cultivate an audience for my works as you have with me, but my historical failures in cultivating that audience or really garnering any attention whatsoever have led me to no longer release my works. If you have suggestions I shall accept your input with open arms, but now I am asking something of you on what is intended to be a response to your own request for input so please do not feel obligated nor pressured to reply.)
I'm glad you've found my work so engaging! It's definitely a good feeling to know that I've got at least one guaranteed reader on everything I post.
As for settings, I don't intend to change my core motivation: I intend to write what I want to write. Indeed, I have rough drafts in place for every single one of those fandoms I've mentioned; the main issue with it is just my own perfectionism, mostly.
The burden from rough draft to final draft is one I place on myself, but I intend to keep a certain level of quality in my fanfic.
Thank you for the long ask! The fact you've put in such effort into this response means a ton to me. Hope you keep enjoying my work!
So, as with all things that come to an end, we must make ourselves a new beginning. I do intend to write more, but the world of Secret Histories is one I intend to put away. Traveling at Night may give me more ideas when it does release, but I'm setting it down for now.
I've always been meticulous about "fitting in," because I feel like it's something that's quite difficult to do for me, personally. Maybe it's undiagnosed autism, or maybe I'm just weird.
Fandom and Tumblr are spaces where I don't feel like I fit, even after producing an entire work. A longfic? It's not that long in the grand scheme of things.
Fanfiction authors tend to type informally outside of their works, I find. I tend to be afraid of engaging on other authors' works because I'd rather not be accused of being a robot. Or a hatebot. Or just a hater, for my tone may come across as cold or accusatory. Or many such things.
But that's not really what this post is about. That's just me getting out the anxieties about joining a new fandom out of my system.
I've been thinking about what I write about. I'm a writer who enjoys engaging in existential questions about life, struggle, and meaning. To this end, I write about character studies. How the systems of humanity bend and break.
To this end, I have a couple of ideas about what I'm intending to write about next.
Minor spoiler warning for the Worm Web Serial (not Ward) below. Nothing specific, but the wording I use might give some stuff away.
My Hero Academia
This is probably my most likely next candidate. It's a shonen manga, also known as "a manga for teenage boys who enjoy big fight scenes."
I don't intend to lean into the established genre very much.
I'm a little hesitant to introduce a fanfic laced existential dread into such a fandom, as I feel like it is quite opposed to the general flow of things, but there's nothing more interesting to me that seeing such a rigidly structured society based around power and struggle and introducing a problem that invalidates both effortlessly. What does it mean to be a hero when both power and struggle are rendered meaningless? This is what I hope to find out.
I've released a slice-of-life one shot for this fandom already. Something more aligned with general trends. It introduces the intended formatting and OC I intend to use for my real project.
Worm (Web Serial)
Hey look, more superheroes. They're called capes here, but same difference.
Worm aligns closer to my genre spheres. It's darker and focuses more on character drama. But what really intrigues me here is the power system, which I do believe is a deservedly well-complimented system in the fandom sphere.
One thing I find fascinating is how well Worm's parahuman powers map onto computer science concepts. I don't know the background of the author, Wildbow, but I am almost certain he has a computer science background from how he lays out his characters' powers.
What I would be interested in here is an extension of this implicit metaphor into explicit. The alternate Earths defined as VMs, the two Entities defined as rootkits, parahumans as programs infected by a malicious .dll, the works.
What would happen if in this network of VMs, an antivirus began to act? Worm is a cosmic horror, with the Entities being the unknowable cosmic beings. But an antivirus is the Known, and in this metaphor, it is truly horrific.
This exploration will not have a happy ending. At best, a Pyrrhic victory.
I'm just afraid that it'll be too technical for anyone to enjoy. The appeal of the technical details of an OS is a little bit more like a textbook than fanfiction, I feel.
Others
Re:Zero - Starting Life in Another World
I have ideas for this isekai light novel turned anime. One of its main themes is about suffering, after all. My plan includes humanizing Reinhard, for one. But I dislike writing for incomplete works, and Re:Zero still has mysteries to unveil.
Chainsaw Man
Another work about suffering. I have some thoughts about around half of the themes: control, suffering, found family, and simple living. However, the issue is twofold: Once again, an incomplete work. And secondly, I don't engage well with the sexual aspects of the work. It doesn't give me the ick or anything; it's just that I feel like I wouldn't do it justice. I can't write Denji the way I want because I'm not incessantly horny like he is. It's just how I am, and how he is.
Original Work?
I still have some original works on the backburner, but I feel strange about posting them to Ao3. I don't feel like doing publishing, either; neither selfpub nor tradpub appeal to me. This is a hobby I cram into the odd hours of my free time, and the worst part for me is posting. Going through the process of publishing would just make it worse for me.
Posting my work, ultimately, is something I do because I want it to be read. If I was writing for myself, having it live on my Google Drive is a fine enough fate for them. My many abandoned rough drafts already share this fate, after all.
I've read that I'm supposed to ask for asks and comments. Is that correct? It makes me feel like I'm begging. But if you're interested in any of the above ideas, letting me know through my asks, comments, or even DMs would be a good motivator for me to lean towards any specific one. So if you want to see something on the above list, or even recommend something you think I might like to write for, let me know.
Anyways, that's just my thoughts on the future of my works. Thank you for your time. I feel like I am often quite long-winded.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
And so, my History is written. The only step left is to take it up to the Earl's Yew on a foggy Numa day and see if the Hours will accept it.
Perhaps they will. Perhaps they will not. It is not something for me to decide.
I expected to have more to say, but at the end, I'm left with nothing much. I am partial to the "Death of the Author" style of media consumption; and with my work completed, it is no longer in my hands. It is in yours, dear reader, to contemplate and interpret as you wish.
Of course, I can shed insight, but that should not hold any considerably extra weight.
If you have come with me on this journey until the end, then I thank you, for the last time, for reading An Unmaking. Truly.
