Lovely Baby Lump

26 year old, single mommy. I'm using this blog to chronicle and share my experiences. Reading the journeys of others into parenthood has been invaluable and I hope to add to that pool. Born: 12/08/14 7 lbs 9 oz, 20 in Jackson • Carter • Eli

[lovelybabylump]

Carter's bottom molars are coming in. I have gotten next to no sleep all week. I feel nursing is coming to an end soon because I can't survive being waken 5 times a night to pacify him. We've already been phasing out any nursing outside of nap and bed time, naturally. We haven't nursed at all today, though. I think we're both ready to stop now, so hopefully the transition won't be too painful if he can cope without night feedings.

[themommadiaries]

The Last Time

From the moment you hold your baby in your arms, you will never be the same. You might long for the person you were before, When you have freedom and time, And nothing in particular to worry about.

You will know tiredness like you never knew it before, And days will run into days that are exactly the same, Full of feedings and burping, Nappy changes and crying, Whining and fighting, Naps or a lack of naps, It might seem like a never-ending cycle.

But don’t forget … There is a last time for everything. There will come a time when you will feed your baby for the very last time. They will fall asleep on you after a long day And it will be the last time you ever hold your sleeping child.

One day you will carry them on your hip then set them down, And never pick them up that way again. You will scrub their hair in the bath one night And from that day on they will want to bathe alone. They will hold your hand to cross the road, Then never reach for it again. They will creep into your room at midnight for cuddles, And it will be the last night you ever wake to this.

One afternoon you will sing “the wheels on the bus” and do all the actions, Then never sing them that song again. They will kiss you goodbye at the school gate, The next day they will ask to walk to the gate alone. You will read a final bedtime story and wipe your last dirty face. They will run to you with arms raised for the very last time.

The thing is, you won’t even know it’s the last time Until there are no more times. And even then, it will take you a while to realize.

So while you are living in these times, remember there are only so many of them and when they are gone, you will yearn for just one more day of them. For one last time.

-Author Unknown-

[themommadiaries]

Do you co-sleep with your baby (0-2 yrs old)?

Do they sleep through the night?

Im just wondering because I personally don’t know any co-sleepers under 2 that actually sleep through the night. Mine certainly doesn’t sleep through the night. In fact, she wakes up constantly, about 3-5 times a night. Even though we don’t rock her to sleep, we don’t give her a bottle to fall asleep, etc.

Just wondering if there’s a correlation or not.

[lovelybabylump]

I've tried both with Carter (1 year) and he still wakes just as often on his own as beside me. I prefer him near me so I can respond faster.

[lovelybabylump]

And here's a little throwback to his first week on this planet. ♡

[lovelybabylump]

Still a great day despite a slight fever. He was throwing up Wednesday, high fever Thursday, and now he's running a low fever with a lot of attitude. My poor bub.

[lovelybabylump]

Merry Christmas! My poor little santa isn't feeling well. :/

[lovelybabylump]

Carter's birthday was awesome. So many people came, my banana cake turned out awesome (he mostly just wanted the blueberries), and he had a blast.

[lovelybabylump]

Carter is feeling under the weather today. Blueberry pancakes with grapes (grapes are his favotite) for breakfast then a good snuggle on the couch before it's time for me to go to work. Poor baby bear.

[lovelybabylump]

Wake me up at 6am and then yell at me for an hour. I wish you understood that I don't get naps, I have to go to work. I love you, my little rage baby. Besides that, Carter is absolutely great. He has 8 teeth, though I think he's already getting those molars based on all the drool and chewing. He's super chatty. He has words like "mum" and "cat" down pat. He'll try to tell me these stories and I can see the concentration on his face as he tries to make words. He's a real comedian. He's always laughing about something. Even if he's playing by himself he will give an exaggerated "hhhuhha!" He loves trucks! Pushing them, crashing them, climbing on them. They're definitely his favorite. He's getting a temper! I discourage hitting but he will give me attitude when I tell him "no" and try to slap and pinch me. It's infuriating. You wouldn't think tiny hands could hurt so much. Conversely, he's a cuddler. Breastfeeding is still a struggle. I miss sleep so much and he thrashes, pinches, and kicks. But sometimes, when he's peaceful and edging on sleep, I don't ever want to let him go and it saddens me that we'll be done soon. So yeah, that's what's been happening. ;)

[lovelybabylump]

[lovelybabylump]

I have a scratch on my eye and was feeling worthless. Carter went with his dad today and I took a 3 hour nap. It was blissful but I miss my biscuit. Yesterday I threw a baby halloween party! It was great to spend time with other mommas. It's been awhile since I updated. Carter is doing great. 10 months old now, in perfect health and well on his way to walking. He can stand by himself and climbs on everything. A true daredevil. It's terrifying. He has 8 lovely teeth and a laugh that could warm your heart. I love him so very much. Absolute joy and single most wonderful thing to ever enter my life. He says, "Momma" sparingly but it catches my heart strings every time. He's learning the concept of "no" and his lip juts out in defiance when I disallow him from kicking me in the boob or smacking my face with a toy. It's hard to keep a straight face. We're half in, half out with breastfeeding. He nurses with me and gets formula with his dad. So far this system is working, it's so much less stressful not having to worry about having enough milk stored for him. And I hate pumping at work. Good god, I love him so.

[charlieandjordan]

Sometimes, I am almost grateful that the Universe gifted me with a parent who was a perfect example of how NOT to parent. A basis for which to measure my bad Mum days against, so that they do not seem so bad. In the midst of the hardest parenting days, when I’m at my wits end, frustrated, overwhelmed, irritated, and overloaded with attention, I have tiny moments where I almost feel like my Mother. Scary moments. Moments that remind me to take a step back, take a breath, and parent with kindness instead of the alternative. To never be that sort of parent, and to instead choose to be a patient and loving one. I never want to make my children feel small. I never want them to wonder if I love them. I don’t want to ever hurt them intentionally, or chip away at parts of their worth. I will fight every day to be better for them. A better person. To be patient when my patience is running thin, to be gentle when I don’t feel gentle. To listen, and care. To forget everything I learned about what it’s like to have a Mother, and instead focus on what it’s like to BE a Mother.

[lovelybabylump]

We went to the Fall Festival. Had tons of compliments on Carter's cute little hat. It was a lot of fun!

[talesofthestarshipregeneration]

My ’70s Health-Nut Parents Didn’t  Vaccinate Me. This Is What My Childhood Was Like.

I am the ’70s child of a health nut. I wasn’t vaccinated. I was brought up on an incredibly healthy diet: no sugar till I was 1, breastfed for over a year, organic homegrown vegetables, raw milk, no MSG, no additives, no aspartame. My mother used homeopathy, aromatherapy, osteopathy; we took daily supplements of vitamin C, echinacea, cod liver oil.I had an outdoor lifestyle; I grew up next to a farm in England’s Lake District, walked everywhere, did sports and danced twice a week, drank plenty of water. I wasn’t even allowed pop; even my fresh juice was watered down to protect my teeth, and I would’ve killed for white, shop-bought bread in my lunchbox once in a while and biscuits instead of fruit, like all the other kids.We ate (organic local) meat maybe once or twice a week, and my mother and father cooked everything from scratch—I have yet to taste a Findus crispy pancake, and oven chips (“fries,” to Americans) were reserved for those nights when Mum and Dad had friends over and we got a “treat.”As healthy as my lifestyle seemed, I contracted measles, mumps, rubella, a type of viral meningitis, scarlatina, whooping cough, yearly tonsillitis, and chickenpox. In my 20s I got precancerous HPV and spent six months of my life wondering how I was going to tell my two children under the age of 7 that Mummy might have cancer before it was safely removed.So the anti-vaccine advocates’ fears of having the “natural immunity sterilized out of us” just doesn’t cut it for me. How could I, with my idyllic childhood and my amazing health food, get so freaking ill all the time? … My two vaccinated children, on the other hand, have rarely been ill, have had antibiotics maybe twice in their lives, if that. Not like their mum. I got many illnesses requiring treatment with antibiotics. I developed penicillin-resistant quinsy at age 21—you know, that old-fashioned disease that supposedly killed Queen Elizabeth I and that was almost wiped out through use of antibiotics.*

[ladymarianor]

“If you think your child’s immune system is strong enough to fight off vaccine-preventable diseases, then it’s strong enough to fight off the tiny amounts of dead or weakened pathogens present in any of the vaccines.”

[relatable-memes]

[lovelybabylump]

I say this constantly to Carter.

[onlyblackgirl]

Titan finds sneezing so funny 

This is literally the cutest video in existance 

[adorkable-blackgirl]

OMG I can’t stand how cute he is! I want another baby boy!!!! 

[lovelybabylump]

Hormones and guilt trips aside...I think it's time to stop breastfeeding. It's taking control of my life and causing undue stress. Pumping at work and having to drop everything to nurse for an hour. Carter is teething and trashes the entire time he's on my breast, biting and kicking. I know he is in pain and it's just as uncomfortable for him, but I just cannot deal with this. It's just me with him, waking all hours of the night, way too early in the morning, always alone. I need to pass the torch to his father a bit more because I'm starting to resent the fact that I never have time for myself. Other factors of my life are weighing down on me and I'm consumed by guilt. I should be proud. 9 months I've given him all that I can and it's just not enough anymore. I love this baby so so so much and he deserves more from me than this frazzled, cranky woman I've become. It's time. Formula is so gross to me though. It's going to take a lot of trial and error and patience but I absolutely need this.