𝓢𝓾𝓷𝓷𝔂 𝓜𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓸𝔀 花 🌻

''Hay muchas que se... & otras que no... pero si sé... que entre la culpabilidad & el miedo... escojo la felicidad'' FranBow

[365filmsbyauroranocte]

The Petrified Forest (Archie Mayo, 1936)

[lovelysunnymeadow]

I hate feeling like this, I just want to cry & k!ll myself.

I can't even listen to my bf talking about his passion for graffiti & art bc that reminds me how pathetic I am bc I don't have any passion, or how he just noticed me the day I participated in class bc I remembered something vaguely, I googled it & read it out loud. He just thinks I'm smart when it's all fake. I know my brain it isn't the same since my last su!c!de attempt. The information doesn't retain.

I can't ignore how he is just there talking so happy about art & graffiti & I can't follow the conversation bc I'm so dumb & stupid that I don't know anything about that. I don't even remember what cubism is about! & doesn't care how many times I googled. The information doesn't stay. I'm useless. I don't work anymore. It doesn't matter if I live or not anymore bc I'm not useful, I'm not even interesting, creative or cultured. The only thing that makes me useful is my body, the only way I can please boys is having sex & "being horny". Sometimes I don't feel like a person with feelings anymore, just a stupid doll.

I'm too old for all that shit. I don't have time to fix it. I don't have time to start doing anything. My parents don't take anything that I do seriously. They think that if I'm doing well on something, it's bc it's easy. I don't even deserve the effort.

Even my bf's ex. A girl who is my age, she has an addiction problem, she is not even in college & she's in her mid-20s... I'm doing "better" than her, put the just idea than my bf loved her more deeply than me, did more things for her that I know he would never do that sh!t for me just drag me down. Just bc she do graffiti, just bc she is prettier, just bc I can't be that girl. The idea of having an OD just still going in my head. I want to do it so bad. It's even painful.

Even putting all this in words is exhausting. Someone just k!ll me pls. I don't want to deal with all these feelings anymore. There are so many ideas & problems at the same time that don't even make sense anymore. I can't even follow my therapy notes bc I can remember well with all the feelings at the same time, & that just makes me feel worse. Someone end with me please please please please please

[beekugou]

—ouran high school host club * ੈ✩‧₊˚ requested by @eulaas

[lovelysunnymeadow]

All those reels that used to make me cry; now, when I watch them, I feel some sadness, but I don't overthink anymore.

I don't know if I should feel relieved or scared.

[borderlyx]

I wonder how beautiful life must be when you don't have trust issues, depression, mood swings, overthinking, paranoia, anxiety, detachment, isolation or fear

[professionallyunstable-deactiva]

there's not a single nonchalant bone in my body. I care so much I could literally vomit.

[wowlookwhosspirallingagain]

the “i wanna go home” never leaves my head even when i’m physically sitting in my bed

[junetheraccoon]

do you guys also ruin every good thing in your life or is that just me

[lovelysunnymeadow]

Aún no se cumple un año de mi diagnostico. Después de todos estos años, descubrir que tengo TLP ha sido tanto reconfortante como aterrador. Todos esos sentimientos de soledad, ansiedad & depresión; todas esas veces que sentí que no encajaba, que mi mente me torturaba, que sobrepensar era parte del día a día. Todo eso se resumio en que tal vez todo iba más allá de mi misma & era algo más profundo de lo que pensaba.

No me han dado medicamentos, con mi historial de OD tiene sentido. No los culpo. Aunque hace un mes empece terapia grupal & siento que me ha ayudado los pensamientos intrusivos no paran & me preocupa. Mi psiquiatra me dijo que puedo hablar con ella sobre medicación la próxima sesión que tengo la próxima semana si siento que lo necesito. Una parte de mi quiere hacerlo para poder callar los pensamientos, para poder volver a leer tranquila, para poder tomar una ducha larga o simplemente dormirme sin tener que tomar melatonina para reducir el tiempo en que mi cabeza no para de taladrarme con ideas de que mi pareja no me quiere o que soy una persona horrible & deberia acabar conmigo.

Intento tomar cada día como un nuevo intento & espero poder pasar un día sin saturar a mi pareja o sobrepreocuparme por alguna cosa. Intento ser amable conmigo misma & tener la mejor actitud! Pero aveces mientras más intento estar bien, más fácil me quiebro. Ojalá me den medicación, aunque internamente siento que "falle" al necesitarla. Esperemos que todo salga bien.

[oceano-de-letras]

Quisiera que alguien entrara en todas mis habitaciones mentales y, aun viendo el desorden, se quede a dormir.

—Melissa B.

[snowbairdd]

Don't try to figure out a plan. You can't reason with a headless man.

THE LEGEND OF SLEEPY HOLLOW in THE ADVENTURES OF ICHABOD AND MR. TOAD (1949) dir. Jack Kinney, Clyde Geronimi, James Algar

[consecuences]

[desorden-en-letras]

Créditos: escritosrame

-𝒔𝒏𝒉𝒏𝒌𝒌𝒎𝒏

[allthingseurope]

Edinburgh, Scotland (by Daniel)

[einsamkeit-18]

Mi mente ya no es mi hogar, es una trinchera. ¿Cómo puedo crecer y sanarme a mí mismo si la frase que más repito es: "Estoy sobreviviendo como puedo"?

Harvester of Sorrow.

[desorden-en-letras]

𝐉𝐚𝐦𝐚́𝐬 𝐦𝐞 𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐢́𝐚𝐬

𝐃𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨 𝐝𝐞 𝐮𝐧 𝐥𝐮𝐠𝐚𝐫 𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐞 𝐧𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐚 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐢́, 𝐡𝐚́𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐞𝐧 𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐢𝐨. 𝐌𝐢́𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐬 𝐨𝐣𝐨𝐬, 𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐚 𝐪𝐮𝐞 𝐧𝐨 𝐬𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐧𝐚𝐝𝐚. 𝐁𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐚 𝐭𝐨𝐝𝐨 𝐬𝐨𝐛𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐢́, 𝐧𝐢𝐞́𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐞𝐥 𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐡𝐨 𝐝𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐨. 𝐃𝐞𝐦𝐮𝐞́𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐪𝐮𝐞 𝐧𝐨 𝐬𝐨𝐲 𝐬𝐮𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐚 𝐭𝐢 𝐲 𝐪𝐮𝐞 𝐭𝐮́ 𝐧𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢́𝐚𝐬 𝐛𝐮𝐞𝐧𝐨 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐚 𝐦𝐢́.

𝐀𝐡𝐨́𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐚𝐬, 𝐥𝐥𝐞́𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐝𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐚𝐬 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐚𝐬 𝐲 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐨 𝐬𝐢 𝐟𝐮𝐞𝐫𝐚 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐚 𝐭𝐢, 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝐪𝐮𝐞 𝐭𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐩𝐚𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐢́. 𝐀𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭𝐚 𝐪𝐮𝐞 𝐞𝐥 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐨́, 𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐨́𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐝𝐞 𝐞𝐥 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐢𝐩𝐢𝐨. 𝐀𝐥𝐞́𝐣𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐚 𝐯𝐞𝐳 𝐦𝐚́𝐬, 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐨 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐞́𝐭𝐞𝐦𝐞 𝐪𝐮𝐞 𝐧𝐨 𝐦𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐣𝐚𝐫𝐢́𝐚𝐬.

𝐉𝐮𝐠𝐮𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐬 𝐚 𝐨𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐨𝐬, 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐧𝐮́𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐦𝐢𝐠𝐨 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐚́𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐭𝐞 𝐝𝐞 𝐥𝐨 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐚 𝐪𝐮𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐲. 𝐄𝐧𝐬𝐞́𝐧̃𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐚 𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞; 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚́𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧 𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚 𝐲 𝐦𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐬 𝐦𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐚, 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢́𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐚 𝐬𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨.

𝐀́𝐦𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐞𝐧 𝐯𝐨𝐳 𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐚 𝐲 𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐮́𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐚́𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐨. 𝐀𝐬𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐚 𝐪𝐮𝐞 𝐭𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐳𝐜𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐨 𝐭𝐮́ 𝐚 𝐦𝐢́, 𝐡𝐚𝐜𝐢𝐞́𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐫 𝐭𝐚𝐧 𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐝𝐚 𝐝𝐞 𝐭𝐢. 𝐎𝐥𝐯𝐢́𝐝𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐲 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐨 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐦𝐨.

𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐯𝐞́𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐦𝐞 𝐝𝐞 𝐪𝐮𝐞 𝐧𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐚 𝐬𝐮𝐜𝐞𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐢́𝐚, 𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐪𝐮𝐞 𝐚𝐦𝐛𝐨𝐬 𝐬𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐬 𝐪𝐮𝐞 𝐣𝐚𝐦𝐚́𝐬 𝐦𝐞 𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐢́𝐚𝐬.

-𝒔𝒏𝒉𝒏𝒌𝒌𝒎𝒏

[somos-deseos]

No eres lo que te rompió, eres la fuerza que te hizo seguir adelante 🌹.