Care to join me?

Just a broken, lovesick guy who wants to put his thoughts out there, I hope you’ll interact and stay a while

[lovesick-fugue]

Please don’t be afraid to interact with me either by DMs or through asks, I LOVE interacting with all types of people so don’t be afraid! I promise I won’t bite. I’ll even tell you some stuff about me~ ^^

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

- 𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞 ~ Fugue

- 𝐀𝐠𝐞 ~ 24

- 𝐁𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲 ~ In March (I’ll let you know the exact date when we’re close~)

- 𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫(𝐬) ~ Cis male

- 𝐒𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲(𝐬) ~ Gay

- 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐬 ~ he/him

- 𝐋𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞(𝐬) I speak ~ English & Spanish

- 𝐇𝐨𝐛𝐛𝐢𝐞𝐬 ~ Drawing, listening to music, playing video games, watching anime.. typical introvert nerdy stuff lol

- 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐬 ~ getting to know new people, expressing my obsessive behaviors, cats, foxes, bunnies, stalker behavior, soda, pizza, more stuff you’ll get to know

- 𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐬 ~ people who ghost, people who manipulate others, people who don’t mind their business and just start shit, preachy people, overall scummy people behavior

- 𝐓𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 ~ I’m pretty unhinged and open minded but I’ll let you know how far is too far

- 𝐌𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐜 ~ A little bit of everything! Except for super loud screamo and rock music

- Small introduction ~

Welcome to my little slice of Tumblr, everyone! You can call me Fugue and I’ll mostly be posting about general yandere behaviors and thoughts I might have, kind of like a diary! And while I’m here I’m looking for that special guy who won’t mind my obsessive tendencies and that they might even make it mutual!! Only time will tell~

I have been diagnosed with severe depression (working on it), BPD and autism

Just so you are aware, I am very serious when I say that I’m a stalker and I have these tendencies, which is why I’ll do many things too keep with me whoever manages to catch my eye

╱|、

(˚ˎ 。7

|、˜〵

じしˍ,)ノ

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

[lovesick-fugue]

My sanity is literally hanging on by meditation and the presence of a stray cat, pathetic isn’t it?

[lovesick-fugue]

Why isn’t he real? Why does he appear in my delusions? Am I really destined to be alone? What did I do to deserve this? Why me? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

[lovesick-fugue]

Where have you gone....? We used to be close mutuals and now I never see you post :(

I’m really sorry for my absence, moot.. it’s just that I was dealing through some very hard times. Dealing with a breakup, battling the feeling of not being enough, asking myself over and over why am I not worthy of love, trying to keep myself together during nights where I had absolutely nobody to talk to or vent to… there were times I just wanted to never wake up again, that maybe I’m just trapped in a nightmare.

But I’m feeling a bit better now, maybe I’ll continue posting the usual yearning posts and my obsessive tendencies, we’ll see

[lovesick-fugue]

Can I get your opinion on how he might react if he knew I still like him and can’t move on? Even though he told me I should find someone else who can love me better… I know he’s avoidant, but I can’t help liking him more and more every day. I’ve been suppressing my feelings because I’m afraid I might accidentally push him away

I’m so sorry for the late response! I haven’t checked Tumblr in quite a while but I’ll do my best to answer since I’m speaking from experience

I feel like this really depends on the type of relationship you guys have.. for example, he could just be having an episode where he wants to push everyone away because he’s scared or because of trauma he might have. But if he’s genuinely communicating that he can’t be in a relationship with you for whatever reason then unfortunately you need to respect his choice since just sticking by his side will only hurt both of you guys in the long run

[lovesick-fugue]

The absence of your warmth seeps into me like morning’s chill, lingering, always there. No matter how much I bundle up, how I curl myself up or disassociate to be anywhere but here I just can’t find a way to warm myself up without you near. It’s like I’m walking blindly through a blizzard… will I be able to be by your side once more and have that warmth? Or will I inevitably freeze solid? Only feeling that slow coldness overtaking my entire body until I can’t ever move again?

[lovesick-fugue]

You’re slowly becoming my darling

While I’m flattered, I’m already taken by @darkhaunt as it says in my pinned post. So I’m not interested in being anyone’s elses as I’m his and he is mine

[lovesick-fugue]

𝐼 𝑛𝑒𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑑𝑣𝑖𝑐𝑒

𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑡𝑎𝑙𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐼 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚 𝑎 𝑙𝑜𝑡 𝐼 𝑓𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑 𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑎 𝑙𝑜𝑡 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐼 𝑎𝑙𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑡𝑎𝑙𝑘 𝑡𝑜 ℎ𝑖𝑚 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑛 ℎ𝑒 𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑜𝑚𝑙𝑦 𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑎𝑙𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑒 𝑖𝑡'𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑎 𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑘 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑜𝑘 𝑖̈ 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝐼 𝑑𝑖𝑑 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑤𝑟𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑠 𝑠𝑜𝑚5ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑤𝑟𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝐼 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑠𝑜 ℎ𝑢𝑟𝑡 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑎𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐼 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑑𝑜

𝐼𝑣𝑒 𝑠𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚 𝑎𝑡 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑡 𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟 150 𝑚𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑎𝑔𝑒𝑠

𝐼𝑑𝑘 𝑖𝑓 𝐼 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑔𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑢𝑝 𝐼 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝐼 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 ℎ𝑖𝑚 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑠 ℎ𝑖𝑚 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑓 𝐼 𝑝𝑢𝑠ℎ𝑒𝑑 ℎ𝑖𝑚 𝑎𝑤𝑎𝑦 𝑏𝑦 𝑏𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑐𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑦 . 𝑊𝑒 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑛'𝑡 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑠𝑜 𝑚𝑒𝑦𝑏𝑒 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑢𝑐ℎ?

Hm… without having much context on the matter, I would say something definitely made your beloved disappear. I wouldn’t blame you for thinking it’s your fault as it is always extremely easy to blame oneself when things go wrong.

(Trust me I have many times in the past and I still do to this day, all I can do is get better and realize there are things I can’t control and that aren’t my fault no matter how much I twist them to be)

I say that if your beloved is actively online and not responding to you then it would be better to give up on them since maybe their way of rejecting you lightly is ghosting you. If they ACTUALLY stopped being online all together then yeah, you could wait for them if you wish and remember to not wait around forever, that could make it so you lose on the opportunity to find love again, so please don’t deny yourself the opportunity to love again just because you’re waiting on this one guy who you might not know if they’ll come back or not

I do hope my advice helps a bit, anon

[lovesick-fugue]

I hope you’re doing well today. I have been thinking of you. 🎲

I’ve been well, yes! It’s been a relatively relaxing day despite me not being able to sleep properly for the last 2 days. I hope you’re doing well yourself, dice ^^

I’m grateful that you’re thinking about me! I’m doing much better after what happened yesterday, I appreciate each and every one of you that reached out to check up on me and show that you cared. And of course, a big thank you to you, dice:D

[lovesick-fugue]

I agree with the other anons completely. A lot of this community is focused around putting on a show- having pretty accounts and pretty faces, those people want an audience not a true relationship. While there are plenty of people out there like that, they only seem like the majority because they’re the loudest about it. There are plenty of people (in and out of the community) that don’t care what their beloved looks like. The ones that hurt you won’t find meaningful love being shallow like that

- 🕸️

True, true.. I can only learn from this experience so I can pick out the good people that ACTUALLY want an actual relationship from the shallow and fake people that seek something unachievable..

I’m really grateful for all of the support and kind words I received today ^^

[lovesick-fugue]

I agree with the other anon. A true yan does not become obsessed because of someone's physical features. Things like that are only secondary. I'm so sorry that you've been made to feel this way, it isn't your fault. Are you in a place now where you're feeling lonely in your everyday life? I get that feeling, and that's when I feel the most insecure. Like everyone around me has someone so devoted to them, and I feel like nothing. I'm very sure that whatever specific insecurities you have that make you feel this way are unimportant. Easier said than done to believe that, though, I know. 🎲

Only romantically alone I’d say. Yearning for the type of affection and love that comes from a partner but I have such lovely and amazing people always backing me up and being there for me even when I feel I don’t deserve them so I’m not totally alone, thankfully.

But I do feel your pain in not having anyone to devote myself to when the people around me do.. I do wish for that to change soon 💔

[lovesick-fugue]

For what it's worth – the shallowness in yan spaces can be so disgusting. So many people have lost the true meaning of obsession. I'm sorry you've encountered some of those people, you deserve a person who will reciprocate your genuine obsession and not fixate on something as silly as appearance

Thanks.. I feel like everyone deserves to find such a person, one that will love them unconditionally regardless of appearance or flaws. It’s just disappointing that appearance is a factor when it comes to a yandere, you know?

There have been plenty of other cases I’ve seen here in the yan sphere where they break up because of it:/

[lovesick-fugue]

I find you attractive. Trust me, you have meaning. A lot of people fall for personality first. Looks come after. Once someone has already fallen for you, they shouldn't care how you look. If they think you're ugly, they never liked you in the first place. You don't need such shallowness in your surroundings. It will do you know good. I know how you feel. Completely. But your outside body is only a vessel for your mind.

🎲

That seems like a nice sentiment if true but I’ve seen firsthand due to personal experience and seeing the people around me that physical attraction does play an important role. I thought that people fell first for personality/intelligence rather than for appearance but I was wrong..

Thanks for trying to lift my spirits, Dice.. my numb self appreciates your words

[lovesick-fugue]

Hello moot, I hope you’re doing okay ! Your presence here on yanblr is appreciated, and you seem really cool

- 🕸️

Hi hi, moot!

To be honest not doing the best rn but I took some medication to force me into feeling numb and sleepy (prob not the best idea but fuck it)

I’m sort of glad my presence here is seen despite me just being just a lonely guy voicing his thoughts

[lovesick-fugue]

Even if you disappear for hours or days on end just know that even then, I’m ALWAYS watching over you.

You can always have me to return to in the good times and the bad ones

[lovesick-fugue]

I know my future boyfriend is out there! Maybe he’s lurking or too shy to interact but I can assure you, my love that I would give you my everything if you’d let me, unconditionally and without restrictions! Just show me you’d put in the effort to do the same~ ^^

[lovesick-fugue]

would you date a trans man?

i’ve been stalking your page and i’ve been a bit too nervy to actually message you because i don’t want to make you uncomfortable if that’s not your preference.

-🦠

Actually responded to a similar question in the past but I would, yes! As long as the connection is there then I wouldn’t mind at all! We still got to talk and see how we compatible we are

A trans man just as much of a man as a cis man in my eyes! ^^/