And I oop-

[rednightmare18]

Everyone is always talking about Hans being jealous of Sam (i.e., insecure at a deep level about his own value to Henry - who has other sources of love and constancy in his life - vs. Henry's overwhelming and singular value to him) but no one is talking about Henry's true nasty uncomplicated petty jealous bitchitude toward Karolina ("WHO CAN'T READ AND IS BORING AND SMELL LIKE SAUSAGE AND ISN'T EVEN ALL THAT HOT," he scribbles furiously into his diary)

[fanthirtheen]

Stella has personality, you just don't like it. Octavia has personality, you just don't like it. Millie has personality, you just don't like it.

Viv can write female characters with personality, you just don't like seeing female characters with flaws.

Stella is selfish, stupid, privileged, and enjoys others' suffering. You know, like a villain. Because she's a villain.

Octavia is sheltered, has narrow view, little experience, and doesn't care about things outside her little world. You know, like a teenager. Because she's a teenager.

Millie is passive, patient, and focuses on supporting those she cares about. You know, like an repressed eldest sibling. Because she's a repressed older sibling.

Loona is aggressive, selfish, and distrustful. You know, like a foster kid that spent a LOT of time in the system. Because she was a foster kid who spent a lot of time in the system.

I think this is a collection of diverse and interesting characters. Just because Stella isn't seen being a good or loving mother doesn't mean she's one dimensional or poorly written, it means she isn't a good mom and doesn't want to be.

Why does "giving Stella personality" have to mean "good money who loves her daughter"? You guys just can't handle a character who is explicitly a bad mom who doesn't like her kid. Unfortunately, there are bad moms in the world.

[thistlearts]

I did it. Hansry brought something in me back to life. I feel like I've been waiting for this ship for a VERY long time. The original images are HUGE I hope Tumblr doesn't eat the quality.

[brilcrist]

"𝑇ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝑠𝑛'𝑡 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑑𝑢𝑡𝑦. 𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢, 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤? 𝑀𝑎𝑦𝑏𝑒 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤."

[hotmandrivefast]

Charles: I want a full body massage later. Max: yes honey Charles: and 10 cartons of vanilla ice cream. Max: Max: anything you want

[buckwheeler]

911 lone star s4e4 ‘abandoned’ most romantic episode of procedural soap opera television ever created. when Carlos is being held hostage and tk comes to the door and then later he asks his captor first is tk still there? And when she says no he starts screaming for help. So he had to wait for tk not to be at risk to try to save his own life. And then later when he tells his captor that tks mom is dead and she says oh no so she won’t be at the wedding? And he says no I think she will I think I feel all that love she had for him coming through me. If it’s not her then I don’t know where all this love is coming from. Like are you kidding me that’s so beautiful I’m SICK. And then after they save him and tk has given him cpr and Carlos says thank you for saving my life and tk says oh no baby you saved your own life, I was just holding onto it for a while. And Carlos says “it’s yours”. Are you KIDDING ME. Like. Screeeeeeeeeeaming. Screaming. So beautifully romantic. Clutching my effing heart bawling my eyes out love

[samdeanologist]

analyzing the lyrics for “long face” feat. lestat de lioncourt and realizing it’s a louis diss track (with love) is making me more unhinged by the second.

so we open with the gorgeous oooh oooh wah ahhh hypnotizing portion of this song that will stay in your head and where samuel thyne reid is also showing off his *cough* vocal talent.

next….

“why the long face? my pretty baby” — cause you know louis is a sad girlie but also so fucking beautiful and irresistible to lestat when they met he couldn’t possibly understand what louis would be sad about but also… he’s ready to comfort him ALWAYS.

“i got long fangs come appraise me” —lestat is talking about how he’s a vampire so come asess my value and also … fangs could be a metaphor for his pink pony so!

“bring your long stakes that doesn’t phase me” — lestat is saying you can talk shit about me louis and drive a stake through my heart but i still love you teehe.

“i’m an actor in my make up” — he’s saying i can play games too, louis.

“i’ll get fatter when we break up” —so he’s acknowledging the confidence issues he had over the 77 year break up and the break ups before which…. i don’t have the words to speak on otherwise i’ll die.

“why does it matter who i take up?” —he’s saying why does it matter who i sleep with in regardless to antoinette and it’s like love you king… but you’re crazy.

NEXT!

“another face, another year, another place, another tear, pick up the pace, rack up the fears, now we’re having fun.” — this is a little love letter to his cult (us) telling us to get amplified bitch it’s only the beginning

the instrumental break/oohing and ahhing just so immaculate tough cookie alex & larry really did that!

“i’m piano and you’re forte.” — so this lyric right here is what drove me feral because it has so many possible meanings and a few naughty innuendos. what im going to land on however is the fact that lestat is saying im piano because he can be used in whatever way louis wants to use him and he’s saying louis you’re forte (which means my strength) so he’s like idc what you say about me because you hold me together 🥹

“you’re allegro, i’m andante.” —THIS RIGHT HERE HAD ME ON MY KNEES. this is exposing their sex life in the best way because lestat is saying oh i’m your black tar heroin? ok noted and lemme match that because you’re allegro (which means energetic, fast, super active, loud) so basically he says i know you’re addicted to me because i was there. you’re wild in bed and you’re a screamer. he then says he’s andante (slow) because he likes to take his time and worship louis and really make love to him. BYE.

“we’re boléro, prostitué.” —and then he’s like just because i said we go slow sometimes first and foremost we’re freaks. we’re nasty and we’re unspeakable and well… thank you so much for those visuals queen de lioncourt.

“another taste, another year, another place, another tear, another chase, another sneer, without a trace, you disappear, pick up the pace, pack up the gear, gimme some face, a souvenir, here come the gays, here comes the fear, now we’re having fun.” — these bars are what’s going to give miss lioncourt her first grammy nominations because she is summarizing her relationship with louis and hopes for the future.

he’s also telling louis he’s giving him exactly what he wants. he’s chasing him. he knows louis is gonna sneer at him and be annoyed but come anyway. he’s saying you ghosted me after our reunion but im going on tour and you WILL be my rockstar girlfriend. you’ll kiss me (or the pink pony) before my shows as good luck. he’s saying we’re gonna be gay and proud, we’ll take over the world, cause the vampire apocalypse, scare bitches, and have fun. we own the night.

and finally for the song to end with lestat losing himself and moaning into the mic (coming, smirks) as he thinks about his chaotic plan to get louis back well… it’s just music to my ears. and i will listen to it again. and again. and again. and again.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ rating for you lestat

signed,

your loving groupie.

[thalmores]

listen, I don’t care. I don’t care if veilguard is bad. I don’t give fuck if technically it’s sucks. Looks bad? I don’t care. Gameplay sucks? Don’t care. I’ve been waiting 10 years for this god damn game I *will* be eating all of it up, I will be playing it over and over I’m picking up every codex entry, every ore is mine, I will be jumping on rocks repeatedly, I will make every npc sick of me, count your fucking days solas cause I’m coming for your bald ass.

[the-other-art-blog]

Violet to Colin: "You're one of my most sensitive children."

The fandom: "How can she say that! Anthony, Benedict bla, bla bla..."

Colin is ONE of her most sensitive children. ONE, just ONE of them. And she's right.

ONE OF HER MOST SENSITIVE CHILDREN

He was the only one who indulged Violet and let her introduce him to debutantes in s1, while Anthony fucked his mistress and Ben went to orgies.

He was a complete gentleman with Marina. AND defended her when Anthony implied something about her.

And when he learned the truth, he confessed that he would have married her if she had told him the truth. 🥹

He danced with Pen after Cressida bullied her.

He wrote dozens of letters that his family of 8 could not care to respond to often. There are 8 of them!

He worried about Ben in s2 and supported him on his application to the Academy.

He learned the truth of Jack Featherington and instead of simply leaving, he did something about it. Not only did he help the Featherington family, but he saved other lords from being scammed.

He apologized to Will, explained why he acted rudely AND made amends to repair the damage by bringing men to Will's club.

He returned with gifts for everyone, but he seemed particularly thoughtful to his sisters and mother. A perfume for Hyacinth, music for Francesca, and a book for Eloise 🥹. Violet was so moved by his gift and here we have a lovely headcanon on the watch:

Then with Pen...

He runs after Pen, despite other men wanting to know about his adventures.

He acknowledges his mistake and immediately tries to apologize to Pen in the Four Seasons Ball.

The next day, he comes back with a heartfelt apology.

Then, he offers her help, despite the risk of scandal and embarrassment for him. He knows Pen has no one else.

He goes to see Pen at night to make sure she's ok. And when she asks him for a kiss, he does it so sweetly.

He is brave enough to leave the men who just want to know about his sexual life.

HE WAS BRAVE ENOUGH TO ASK, as soon as he put himself together and understood his feelings. He didn't play jealousy games like others, he went and put his heart on the table. He didn't even know about Pen's feelings and he risked it!

Some extracts from Colin's journals show that his family is always in his thoughts.

You can see why Violet, as the good mother that she is, can tell how sensitive he is.

Colin travels during the summer and comes back during the season to be with his family. It angers me that people think he's selfish for this when Benedict also abandons the family to fuck.

And yet, both Colin and Ben are sensitive. BOTH OF THEM, Francesca too. I wouldn't call Hyacinth or Gregory sensitive right now, and before s3, I wouldn't include Eloise either.

Anyway, I needed to get this out because I am so fucking tired of Kanthonies and Benophies making tantrums about this line.

I'm sure when s4 comes, we are going to see a moment between Violet and Ben where she acknowledges how amazing he is and everything he has done for the family. But not now, because this is COLIN'S SEASON.

(NOTE: If you are thinking of reblogging this post with the tag #Colin is the most sensitive, kindly fuck off. I made this post to fight the Kanthonies and Benophie that are attacking Colin, not to validate your own need to make Colin superior to other characters. HE IS ONE OF THE MOST SENSITIVE CHILDREN, ONE)

[becky5203]

“Colin didn’t suffer enough.” Yes, he did.

He suffered in season 1 when his family mocked and belittled him for being so open to love and the woman he gave his heart to lied to and manipulated him because of it. He suffered in season 2 when he tried to distract himself and find out who he was in his time of heartbreak and no one in his family cared that he had returned or wanted to hear about his adventures and thought of him as annoying or a bore for talking about them. He suffered in between seasons 2 and 3 when no one in his family answered his letters and the only person who truly cared about and appreciated him just for who he was had seemingly grown tired of him as well. He suffered when he abandoned the person he was and took on a new persona to fit in with the rest of the ton and have people finally take him seriously. He suffered when he realized that he hurt the one person who truly understood him and would do anything to make it up to her. He suffered after his best friend kissed him and changed his life along with the axis on which the earth moved and he thought it meant nothing to her. He suffered when he finally realized that what he had been searching for was right in front of him all along only to realize that he had become the architect of his own nightmare and might lose her to someone else because of the very same advice he gave her. He suffered when he couldn’t live up to his father’s memory and find the courage to ask the love of his life if his feelings were reciprocated. He suffered when he thought she would marry a man who didn’t truly love or appreciate her like she deserved. And when he finally got the chance to tell the woman he loved how he felt he refused to suffer anymore. He finally accepted who he was and what he needed and literally chased after what he wanted more than anything in this world just for the chance to make his true feelings known.

[ferraricrimesyndicate]

even the royal family of monaco is crying for charles, he IS the people’s princess

[bibluebutterfly]

Someone pointed out how Colin is the first Bridgerton man to actually take initiative when it came to his love interest.

When Simon realized he was in love, he would have rather died than confront those feelings and his trauma about his father.

When Anthony realized, he still went forward with his plans to marry Edwina (until SHE was the one who broke it off at the literal last minute) as she was TECHNICALLY who he was looking for and it was better than confronting his trauma.

When COLIN realized he was in love, he broke ever social rule in the book to be able to get Pen, which includes but is not limited to interrupting her dance with Debling, and chasing down her carriage.

And YES, Simon did have trouble with his abusive father which led him to doubt if he was loveable, and Anthony had to see what his mother went through when her husband died. Yes, these did stunt them emotionally about loving people.

But REMEMBER that Colin is the son who most don’t take seriously, the odd one out, and likely the biggest people pleaser out of the bunch. Plus the last time Colin believed himself in love, he not only got his heart broken, he also got publicly humiliated, drew his family to shame, and was never able to be taken seriously until he changed his entire persona. Not saying he had it just as bad, BUT I do know people who are FAR more emotionally stunted for FAR less.

Anyway, love Colin, and kudos to him for being the first Bridgerton man to take the first initiative to get what he wants as quickly as he did.

Still love all Bridgerton men btw.

[linkspooky]

So I was genuinely surprised last week when we were finally shown Megumi's mental state inside Sukuna and he was predictably at his lowest point ever, and instead of sympathy from the fans most of the responses on twitter I saw were people mocking him.

Which I am going to assume comes from a misunderstanding as his character. You see Megumi doesn't fit into the role of the black haired supporting protagonist / rival well. He's not Sasuke, he's not Uryu Ishida, he's not Yuno but he's not meant to be a rival or even a typical shonen character who's progress is only measured by a series of power ups. Megumi is perhaps one of the most subtly written characters in the manga, and perhaps he's hard to sympathize with because he doesn't fit into easy to udnerstand shonen tropes. Which is why I will try to explain his arc below and why Jujutsu Kaisen does it like no other manga currently running.

1. Meet Potential Man

Let me introduce you to the worst meme on twitter.

Megumi's inability to live up to his potential to reach his full power as a sorcerer is probably his biggest flaw, one that is rightfully called out by the narrative again and again, but apparently an intentionally written character flaw is bad writing.

It's covered in Gojo's "Swing for the fences" speech.

Gojo notices Megumi bunt in the baseball game and decides to confront him about it later. He highlights that while bunting is alright in baseball, and it's good to sacrifice yourself so your teammates can advance in a team sport that being a sorcerer is a solo sport. No matter what Megumi is going to reach a point where he's forced to fight alone, and instead of trying to push himself to be as strong as he can be he intentionally limits himself to cooperate with the sorcerers around him.

Basically, the opposite of Gojo who literally cannot fight with other sorcerers because he won't be able to fight at full strength as they just get in the way.

It's not just that Megumi can't use the ten shadows to its full potential, something pointed out by Sukuna, and then later again by Gojo, it's also that he always prioritizes either the group or someone else above himself when trying to decide how to act. Megumi is a semi-decent strategist so this is not necessarily a bad thing, but because of Megumi's tendency to care more about trying to live up to other people's expectations towards him, and what other people need of him rather than his own needs he doesn't have the attitude necessary for sorcery, especially since the strongest sorcerers don't take others into account at all and act like living calamities.

Megumi doesn't look at himself, he looks at the people around him. He judges himself based on what the people around him want from him, not what he wants. This is going to be a continual theme in his arc.

Sukuna is a living calamity, the definition of the attitude a strong sorcerer has, Gojo Satoru wields sorcerery only for himself, and is a sorcerer because he finds exorcising curses and using his god given talents to be fun for him.

Megumi's reason for fighting, his self worth, are all much, much less than the strongest characters in this series which is why he continually fails to live up to his potential. It's not because Gege is not good at writing or Megumi is a disappointing character, but rather he's been written as someone with tremendous potential under the pressure to live up to that potential but who continually fails to do so. Megumi's low self-esteem, low self-worth, and lack of self-identity explains both his failure to progress as a sorcerer something that requires selfishness and self-identity to reach greater heights in, but also his tendency to pick the suicide option with Mahoraga because Megumi genuinely believes compared to the others even just his classmates his life is simply worth less.

So potential man, is an intentionally written character flaw already called out in canon. The more interesting question is why does Megumi fail to live up to his potential.

2. Meet The Original Potential Man

So, I said that Megumi is not like a lot of characters in Shonen Jump but that doesn't mean he's entirely unique. To help explain Megumi's inability to live up to his potential I thought it would be helpful to compare him to a character he's clearly inspired by.

Killua Zoldyck, is the deuteragonist of a manga called hunter x hunter. You may have heard of it, Gege certainly has. Killua is born into a family of assassins who all have supernatural powers. The assassins inflict incredibly harsh training on their children from birth in order to raise them into assassins because their potential as assassins is all that matters. They also start with a "Z".

Killua is apparently the most talented Zen'in... I mean Zoldyck of this generation, though he's still young so he's weaker than his father and brother he's expected to easily surpass them one. Which is why Killua's family has already decided for him that he's going to be the next one to take over the family, Killua's opinion doesn't matter. Illumi and Silva are both setting him up for success by forcing their "help" upon him. Several other members of the family even point out that Killua probably doesn't have the attitude to be the head of the family, but what does it matter when he's got such great talent?

Killua is a complicated victim. He's a victim of many things, familial abuse is the most obvious one because the Zoldyck have a nasty habit of torturing their children, but the less obvious one is grooming. Not in a sexual sense, but rather the adults in Killua's life have decided to use their authority over him to manipulate him into becoming what they want him to be - the next head of the family.

What's insidious about this is the Zoldyck's don't just torture or beat Killua into submission, they will use any tool in their arsenal, familial love, emotional blackmail, threats, all to undermine Killua's agency and choices in order to make him not only do what they want to do but make him think he has to grow into the person they want him to.

Grooming not in a sexual sense, but definitely in a psychological sense, an adult using their authority as an adult over a child and their maturity to manipulate that child into becoming what they want them to be instead of letting that child grow naturally. When it's used in a sexual sense it's when an adult establishes a connection with a minor, and then uses that connection in the long-term to manipulate them into having a relationship and lower the child's inhibition. Think of that, but without the sexual part - an adult using their relationship with a child often in a long-term manipulation to lower the child's inhibitions and make them more malleable and raise them to do what you want them to do.

Killua has not been sexually groomed, but he has been groomed by both his parents and his brother to make him more suggestible to becoming the family head which is something he explicitly does not want to do. Not only did Killua's family only raise him for the purpose of becoming an assassin and taking over the family one day (raising him as a child into an adult, his emotional maturity, his health and well being are all secondary priorities to what Killua can do for his family) they also manipulate him into thinking he has no choice other than being an assassin.

Killua is a kid put through extremely harsh training from a young age, to do a horrible job that is being an assassin that doesn't let him make normal friends or have a normal life. On top of the physical abuse he's already endured, whenever he expresses a desire to do something else in his life, his parents send Illumi to emotionally manipulate him into thinking that not only is he a natural born killer, and therefore a bad person who deserves all the abuse he's been put through, to further convince him that his only path forward is to be an assassin.

Killua is a character who has a lot of power, but little agency. Agency, in fiction is the ability a character has to take action and make decisions for themselves. Despite Killua starting as a more powerful and more savvy character than Gon, he has little agency and is often very passive. He doesn't act, he reacts. Even running away from his family is a reaction. We don't really see what he wants in life, we just know that he looked at his family and went "NOT THAT". However, his entire identity is still formed in response to his family's abuse. Even when he gets farther away from them, Killua doesn't really do what he wants, he does what Gon wants, and follows around Gon.

However, it's very understandable why Killua doesn't act with a lot of agency, when Killua does try to make decisions his family always shows up to undermine him and make another attempt to emotionally manipulate him into doing what they want. It's not always Illumi showing up to spook him. Silva pretends to be a loving dad for five minutes and has a heart to heart conversation with his son, and lets his son go adventuring with his friends but that too is a manipulation. He only did so to make sure Killua would eventually come back, by giving Killua more positive memories that would make it harder to make the decision to leave the family.

With the extent that Killua's family goes to sabotage any decision he makes, it's no wonder Killua is so passive and afraid to make his own decisions. It's almost like a character flaw he's gotta work on.

Now here's where I'm going to blow your minds. Megumi is an incredibly similar character to Killua, they are both the victims of longterm grooming however people don't like to acknowledge Megumi's victimhood. That's because in Killua's case, his abuser looks and acts like this.

Killua's abuser Illumi is a creepy guy who looks like the girl from the grudge, telling him he's not allowed to make friends and giving off such rancid vibes that he's obviously a bad guy. Whereas, Megumi's groomer this this guy.

Gojo Satoru who is one of the most popular characters in the series, and who also gives speeches about how he wants to let children be able to live out their youths, which is why it's hard for the fandom to see that he has taken advantage of Megumi and stolen his youth away from him pretty much the same way that Silva / Illumi has for Killua.

Megumi, like Killua has no choice in who he wants to be when he grows up, or what kind of person he wants to grow into. Megumi, like Killua has been groomed for a young age and forced into an incredibly dangerous and life threatening job that he does not want to do, that denies him the chance of a normal life, and that does not really allow him to make many friends. Megumi is railroaded onto this path, not by his choice, but by Toji's choice, and later Gojo's choice... because he has potential. Megumi like Killua cannot leave his family and stop being a sorcerer, otherwise his little sister who is the only family member he cares about will be hurt.

Gojo doesn't show up with an evil aura looking like the grudge girl and telling Megumi that he doesn't have the right to make friends, and that he's inherently evil and a puppet that only exists to kill people though so it's harder to tell that Megumi is a victim of the same kind of grooming that has hurt Killua so thoroughly.

This is what I mean when I say a lot of Megumi's characterization flies over your head because his victimization is written really subtly. Gojo does the same thing that Illumi / Silva does to Killua, he may seem like a stand up guy compared to those two but Megumi has about as much choice about what he can do with his life that Killua has.

Not all grooming is Illumi showing up with his spooky eyes to intimidate and coerce Killua into submission. Silva shows up to give Killua the first fatherly talk he had in his life, and lets him go from the mansion.... not because he realized he was wrong for restricting Killua's life choices and giving him no choice but to become heir.

No, it was a ploy to guilt trip him into coming back because he knew if he held Killua there by force he'd just run away the next chance he got. Fear and intimidation wasn't working at keeping Killua in line, so they switched to love instead.

Gojo can encourage Megumi to make friends, let him hang out and spend time with Itadori, even honor his wish to save Itadori and in the end still be manipulating him into becoming a sorcerer and not letting Megumi choose what he wants to do with his life. Gojo just prefers the carrot to the stick.

This is something the databooks confirm, that Gojo hunts prospects like Yuta, Yuji and Megumi not out of the goodness of his heart, but because they are talented students he can recruit to his cause with the added bonus that by appearing as their savior, they "owe" him.

Megumi is also a character lacking in agency, he is someone who's had no agency his entire life and what little agency he did have was stolen away from him by the adults in his life.

Let's analyze Megumi's situation for a second. As soon as Megumama dies, Toji gives up on the idea of fatherhood entirely, and decides to sell his son, literally, like in the sense of human trafficking to be raised by the highly abusive Zen'in Clan.

However, before the deal could be completed his father died in the middle of a mission. Megumi apparently saw his father so little that he didn't recognize him on coming face to face with him years alter, which says a lot about what kind of role Toji played in Megumi's life before he was outright abandoned.

Not only does Megumi believe his father just left him to run away with his new wife (Megumi's stepmother and the mother of Tsumiki) but now he and Tsumiki had to live together in a household without supervision for an indeterminate amount of time and watch their money slowly run out.

When it looks like they're about to start starving, Gojo Satoru shows up to save the day.... or not.

Gojo seems like he's offering Megumi a choice, but it's a loaded one. There's no choice in this scenario where Megumi gets to be a normal kid. The option of calling social services so this orphaned child does not starve doesn't occur to him.

Megumi's options are a) go to the Zen'in Clan and be a sorcerer where Tsumiki will be abused, or b) be a sorcerer under me where Tsumiki will be safe. The unspoken part is that if Megumi rejects his offer not only will he just let the Zen'in Take him, he'll also probably just let Megumi starve. Megumi the uh six or so year old child at this point has to sign away the rest of his life as a sorcerer, and work in order to earn money to eat.

No adult is taking care of Megumi, no one is raising him, even the food and shelter Megumi is given comes with a price tag that he has to pay back by being a Jujutsu Sorcerer and attending Jujutsu High as a teenager. Gojo even kind of subtly uses Tsumiki as a hostage to get Megumi to join with his agenda, because his offer isn't really much better than the Zen'ins but he needs Megumi on his side because he needs to raise kids to be future allies to his political agenda.

At the tender age of six Megumi signed his life away to be a sorcerer and he hasn't looked back since. Considering his severe behavioral problems getting into fights constantly at school, I think it's safe to say Megumi is about as reluctant to be a sorcerer as Killua is an assassin.

Honestly, if Megumi had phrased it like this:

"I'm so tired of being a sorcerer, I just want to be a kid."

Megumi would have a lot more fans, and Gojo would have a lot of explaining to do, but I think the brilliance of Megumi's grooming is that it's not really as blatant as Killua's. Megumi doesn't talk out loud about how he wants to be a normal kid, he's just angry at the whole world, and prone to fits of violence because he's mentall unwell.

Another way in which he parallels Killua, by the way.

Megumi does not talk about his lost childhood out loud. Instead of knowing his thoughts on the matter, instead we are shown his behavior, the effects of having his childhood taken away from him and how unstable it makes him and left to ponder as the audience what Megumi himself thinks of this.

The same way that Illumi steals all of Killua's agency away, robbing him of the chance to be anything other than what the Zoldycks want him to be, so to does Gojo. It's just instead of Gojo using the stick, he uses the carrot. He is Megumi's benefactor, he's the savior, for whose help Megumi owes him, sort of like repaying a loan with interest.

Gojo tries to shape Megumi into Gojo Satoru 2.0. Or maybe a second Geto. That's more likely as it's Geto defection which inspires Gojo to go looking for him after neglecting to do anything about Megumi until a year after finding out about his existence. Gojo says that Megumi is going to have to work hard or else he'll be left behind, just days after Geto had left him behind. Megumi is helped by Gojo, he is protected from the clans by Gojo, he has been taken on missions alongside Gojo his entire life, Maki even refers to Megumi as a treasure that was raised carefully by him.

Gojo invests a lot of time and effort into Megumi and because of that Megumi is expected to "perform." However, he doesn't.

That's the thing, Megumi is supposed to be either Gojo or Geto 2.0 but he just can't be. THe reason why again is Agency. If Killua is limited because of his inability to decide for himself, then so to is Megumi b/c Nen and Cursed Technique Development both depend on things like imagination, ego and self-image to raise them up to their full potential.

However, Gojo has shot himself in the foot with regards to Megumi. Becoming a Jujutsu Sorcerer requires a strong identity, but Gojo by sabotaging Megumi's agency and ability to decide for himself every step of the way has robbed Megumi of the chance to form that strong identity.

Megumi, just like Killua has no sense of self and instead both judges himself according to others, how he meets their expectations, how he measures up to them - he also glorifies others while constantly putting himself down.

Megumi doesn't give speeches about how Yuji is like pure light, but he also refuses to let Yuji out of his sight post Shibuya, and even says it'd be better to be killed by Sukuna alongside Yuji if Sukuna does take over.

In the Chimera Ant Arc Killua defines all of his self-worth around being useful to Gon, and beats himself up for not being able to measure up to him - because Killua has no sense of self his selfhood has always been undermined by his family who wanted to make him more suggestible to what they wanted.

Megumi is flippant with his own life and very willing to lay down his life for another's sake, because Megumi has very little agency in his life and has been taught by both Gojo and his circumstances that he himself and what he wants does not matter. Megumi doesn't fight fate, and fight for what he wants because he's already been shot in the kneecaps by both Toji's abandonment, and Gojo Satoru, and he's having a difficult time just trying to stand with bullets in his knees.

Maybe, the reason Megumi is so willing to risk his life to summon Mahoraga and sacrifice himself if he thinks it will help his allies is because Megumi has been forced into a job where he's gonig to be expected to sacrifice his life for the greater good since the tender age of six years old and therefore everything in life has conspired to tell him his life is worth less than others.

Yuji isn't the first person in story to think of himself as a cog, that's Megumi. He doesn't even need Shibuya to beat him down to accept the cog mindset, Megumi is already there at the beginning of the story.

I think a lot of misunderstanding of Megumi's character comes from the fact that his grooming is more subtle and insidious, and not as blatant as Killua's, and also that it's done by a character well-liked by the fandom. However, if Megumi has all the same symptoms of Killua then it's logical to deduce that they share the same trauma

Even Megumi's summoning of Mahoraga has a tie to Killua.

There's a pattern of KIllua running away from stronger opponent that's established in HXH that's eventually revealed to be because of a needle that Illumi inserted directly into Killua's brain to mind control him to run if he faced someone that was too much of a threat.

Obviously, that's just continuing the metaphor of the fact that Killua isn't able to believe in himself to face people who are stronger, because Illumi has been constantly putting him down his entire life.

Isn't this essentially what Megumi does as well?

When Megumi is faced with an opponent that's too strong or a hopeless situation, instead of running like Killua he summons Mahoraga. He does this because he doesn't believe in his ability to surpass his limits and fight, because he doesn't believe in himself or his own potential.

When is actually able to think more freely and picture a version of himself who can surpass his limits and who can do these things - these are the moments he is shown to grow.

Megumi however, for the most part isn't free. He can't think of himself as free and he can't free himself, because not only does he still have no choice about what he wants to do with his life (even if he becomes the msot powerful sorcerer in the world Gojo won't let him quit, he's gotta pay off those student loans), but he's also internalized the idea that he's not free. Not only has Gojo raised him to be a cog, Megumi has also accepted the fact that he is a cog and what he wants does not matter - the most he can do is hope that his actions will protect the people he loves and give them a little bit of happiness.

Megumi doesn't need a needle in his brain to control him and make him run away from fights and more obedient, because Megumi has already done all of that to himself with the toxic and self-harming ideas he's internalized.

Megumi and Killua having given up on themselves, try to make others happy, the same people they put on pedestals in order to make themselves feel even worse in comparison.

However, from this point Megumi and Killuas arcs go in opposite directions. You see after the Chimera Ant Arc when Killua hits his lowest point and his codependent friendship with Gon is exposed for what it is, Killua returns home in order to try and rescue his sister Alluka who is probably the reason he ran away in the first place.

Alluka and Tsumiki are both at the start of the story taken away from Killua and Megumi respectively, and with them the only genuine familial affection they ever enjoyed in their lives is taken too.

However, Alluka and Tsumiki are inversions. Alluka finds her freedom and agency, and Killua is able to reform his connection with his sister by accepting both pats of her, Alluka and Nanika. Afterwards the two of them finally leave their family home together and go off on a journey together.

If Alluka finds her personhood, Tsumiki remains a plot device. She never awakens from her coma, she's possessed instead and then murdered.

Now, here is where I point out how unfair the audience is being to Megumi. If you're a hunter x hunter fan remember all the character development that Killua gained by reforging his relationship with Alluka, how much confidence it gave him to connect to the one person who's even unconditionally loved him as a family member.

Now imagine that Alluka is brutally butchered right in front of him, and Killua has a first person point of view, because somehow in this scenario Illumi used a needle to mind control him into killing Alluka.

Do you really think Killua would be able to stand after that?

Sukuna is really just the last in line of a long line of people who've stolen Megumi's agency away from him, in order to benefit themselves. Sukuna even saw the same "potential" in Megumi that Gojo did.

Sukuna physically posessing Megumi's body, is just what both the Zen'in Clan, and Gojo Satoru have been trying to do to him in the most literal way possible. Gojo wants to remake Megumi into Gojo Satoru 2.0 with no regards to who Megumi is as a person, what Megumi's wants and needs are. No he just wants to raise someone as strong as him and pass the burden of protecting society onto Megumi, this starving orphan Gojo decided to exploit.

People have always used Megumi as a puppet for their own agenda, Naobito wanted to make him the head of the Zen'in Clan because he had the technique, Gojo wanted him to become the next strongest sorcerer / Gojo Satoru and also to replace the elders with Gojo's political agenda. They all want Megumi's "potential" for themselves to use to their own ends. Sukuna just takes what Gojo did one step further by literally stealing Megumi's body away from him and using him as a literal puppet instead of a metaphorical one. Gojo took Megumi's childhood by making him work as a sorcerer, Sukuna kills the physical embodiment of Megumi's childhood innocence by murdering Tsumiki, the only thing Megumi had in his life besides being a sorcerer, his only family, the only person he grew up with in his childhood years, the only person who loved him for who he was.

Megumi coped with what Gojo did to him the same way Killua did, by building himself around his use to others, and by building his identity around protecting others but now that's all gone. Tsumiki is gone, Megumi is trying to kill his friends, and he's already butchered Gojo Satoru.

Yet the fans are surprised that Megumi doesn't immediately get back on his feet.

However, and this my slightly optimistic ending to the post. Perhaps, Megumi is going the complete opposite of Killua, because what Megumi needed to learn was not to grow strong and confident enough to protect his sister but to learn to fight for himself.

At this point Megumi has nothing else left. It's sink of swim. He either develops a strong enough identity to regain control of his body and push Sukuna out, or he loses and the anti-Sukuna team will just have to resort to killing Megumi along with Sukuna.

Even in that case.

Megumi not being saved by Yuji is a good thing.

Because a victim who gets rescued by a hero still has no agency.

Megumi told Yuji that he needs to start by "saving me."

However, it might just be the opposite. Before Megumi can save anyone else, before he can become a protector, he has to find his own power and save himself. He has to both accept thathe's someone worthy of salvation, and at the same time he can't just passively accept the hand that Yuji's offered to him he has to actively be the one to break free of Sukuna and save himself.

Megumi can't become the strongest sorcerer by becoming the next Gojo Satoru or being what Gojo or Sukuna wants him to be. THe only way Megumi can become the strongest, is by being himself.

[deadlydelicious]

the quiet whispered way Owen Wilson says 'let time pass' is actually devastating.

don't ever let anyone think he's somehow a lesser actor than Hiddleston just because he cut his teeth in Ben Stiller movies not Shakespeare. That wistful delivery gutted me every bit as much as Loki's shaky smile when he realizes what he has to do.

[snogfairy]

some thoughts on Aziraphale, the Metatron and performances

i do think we're maybe all underestimating aziraphale just a bit when it comes to the whole 'happy in heaven, let's go and do good' spiel. i DO think he believes in some fundamental goodness in heaven despite all their obvious, glaring moral failings and problems, and i DO believe he wants crowley with him more than anything (and, misguidedly, that a part of crowley would want to go back)

BUT i also think that there is a lot more going on underneath the surface. he might wear his heart on his sleeve most of the time but we have seen that when it counts he can be really really good at magic tricks (makes that flashback all the more relevant, too), at repressing his true feelings, at building walls around himself and hiding behind a facade of smiles and optimism.

the Metatron might not be the only one performing; him and Aziraphale are certainly both on edge. think of the coffee scene, az being overwhelmed and reluctant, he is not necessarily buying the Nice Old Man act--but he is not sure about it being fake, either. maybe the metatron is nice, he can't tell, he is overwhelmed and accepts the coffee. he wants to believe that this Very High Being, the voice of god, is good. if he isn't--what then? his beliefs have been crumbling around him already, and he is scared. and then meta removes him from the bookshop, from crowley, and they talk.

Az is extremely flustered when he tries to tell crowley about the metatron's offer, a bit too much--coupled with off-the-charts-nervosity and the glimpses of Expressions of Dread on his face when he turns away from Metatrash before he goes back into the bookshop to talk to crowley, i'm starting to be quite sure that the very obvious threat lingering underneath metatron's words did not go unnoticed at all; he saw the nice kind old man smile but he heard him saying "i've gone back over your exploits", i know exactly what you've been doing these millenia, you can fool the archangels but you can't fool me, i have access to Time/History/Reality in a different way. i know everything you did. and then the threat about not allowing the two of them to work togther anymore in the future, if he stays on earth. i think aziraphale knows right then and there that he has no choice at all. (this is why he so desperately wants crowley to come with him, because he can't stay) (i do believe that he truly thinks, though, that they would let crowley back into heaven-- which i think was a total ruse, a complete lie based on the knowledge that crowley would not accept the offer)

and he knows that metatron is just outside the bookshop, waiting. now don't get me wrong, i'm not saying he acted the whole thing, the conversation he and crowley had was very real, because az was counting on crowley to come with him--because if one thing has been true over all these milennia, it's that crowley always caves in. no matter what, he comes back, he apologizes, he refuses first and accepts finally, he stays by his side, he would never leave aziraphale. right?

in this moment az needs to believe two things: 1 crowley will come with him and 2 he can do Good in heaven, they can change things together. and this is not only naiveté (though to some extent it surely is) but calculation, as well. i can't get out of this. my only choice is to rejoin heaven and play along. maybe if i'm there, if i have a seat at the divine table and can learn about heaven's plans, maybe i can thwart them, if need be. i do think az is not going in blindly, i do think he knows to some extent what awaits him, but he also truly believes that maybe he can alter things, in some way (he could, surely, with crowley. crowley always has the best ideas. i need you. )

but when crowley refuses he can't tell him there is something bad going on. i need to do this, even if i dont want to. they are not alone. he can only say i need you with me. please. but crowley is in too much pain, he feels betrayed, because he did not hear come with me but to heaven, and the shock of it runs deep

so az IS also heartbrken and angry and betrayed. and then, after the Revelation, in shock. the journey on his face was longer than the ride up to heaven jfc. and then it settles on a smile that does not reach his eyes. oh, he's really in it now. he contains multitudes and paradoxes aghhhh but yeah tl;dr aziraphale loves to be a happy trusting ray of sunshine because he chooses to be, but he is not stupid. he's doing the best he can.

there will be a second coming not only for jesus 2.0 but for his and crowley's relationship as well!! let's believe in him!!! im disinegrating i need to stop now

[mysticsormr]

OK SO HERES THE THING REGARDING AZIRAPHALE’S CHOICE

It seems that people seem to keep characterizing Aziraphale’s choice at the end to accept Metatron’s proposal as him believing that Heaven is good or that he is supportive of Heaven’s plans, that he likes and wants to be a part of Heaven. But I feel, personally, that this is not entirely true. 

Aziraphale has been shown, both in Season 1 but ESPECIALLY in Season 2, to disapprove of what heaven believes is right/good. He, instead, actively chooses to divert heavens plans time and time again to do what he believes to be right and good.

And for most of this time, he and Crowley together work to not do what Heaven or Hell believe is correct but what THEY feel is correct. (Even if sometimes it takes a shift in POV, or potential damnation, for that event to occur.) 

So, when Metatron offers him a high position in Heaven, I do not believe he accepts it because he is supportive of the ways of Heaven necessarily but more-so that this might be an opportunity within to prevent or change the devastating actions Heaven takes (which he has witnessed first hand). 

The reason he wants for Crowley to join him in Heaven is because he wants Crowley by his side. Because that it what they have always done. For millenniums, Aziraphale and Crowley together have worked to deviate the plans of Heaven (and Hell), to do instead what is not good or right by the ideals of their respective head offices, but what the two of them believe is good or right for humanity.

He is not asking Crowley to join him in Heaven because he thinks there is something wrong with Crowley (as it seems a few people have suggested), he has always believed Crowley to be lovely and kind - both when he was an angel and a demon. He does not feel that Crowley is wrong or incomplete or anything of the sort. Aziraphale is asking Crowley to come with, he wants Crowley to help him. He sees this as a chance to do what they have always done, but perhaps with more power. Maybe this time they can prevent it. Maybe this time they can keep humanity safe. 

It is also interesting to note that Aziraphale has, within the dreaded last 10 minutes (lol pain), multiple moments of hesitation. The first is right before Metatron and Aziraphale leave the bookshop. He begins to presumably say something along the lines of “I think I… [made a mistake],” but looks out the window to where Crowley must be and corrects himself in Metatron’s presence. I think this is probably the most we can see Aziraphale’s true personal desire which is to be with Crowley. To stay on Earth. To live a life that he loves with the person (entity??) he loves. But here, before he can say what he truly wants, he puts on a face and marches on. It felt here to me, that Aziraphale is doing what he feels is a duty. He is putting aside his desires to go to Heaven, in hopes of being able to help humanity (NOT help Heaven). 

Once outside, we are revealed a pretty vital piece of information. 

METATRON: I can’t think of a better angel, to wrap things up, and put into motion the next step in the great plan. 

AZIRAPHALE: Um, yes, you mentioned that. Can I know what it is?

OKAY SO FIRST. When Metatron proposed this to Aziraphale, he said that Aziraphale would be putting the next part of the great plan into motion. So I dunno about you guys but I absolutely think this was probably an alarm bell in Aziraphale’s head given what the previous step was (the Apocalypse). But understanding that this is what Metatron told Aziraphale that led to Aziraphale accepting to go with him, furthers the idea that Aziraphale is going to Heaven to try and prevent or deviate what is going to happen. He is not just going because Heaven has suddenly started talking to him again. This though, I feel, makes this all the more sad. Aziraphale is pushing down his personal desires for his notions of ‘the greater good’ aka protecting humanity as it seems.  

The second moment of hesitation comes just before Aziraphale steps into the elevator, just after he is told that what he is slated to help with in Heaven is The Second Coming. He looks towards Crowley and (understandably) hesitates - because in reality, this is NOT what he wants. Ideally, he doesn’t want to be involved with Heaven, especially not alone (finally and truly alone now too… He never has fit in with the other angels has he?). But, Metatron has just told him of the next great plan, The Second Coming, and he has the realization that - despite how much he may not actually want this, despite having to leave without the love of his life by his side - he NEEDS to go. He needs to try and stop it, he needs to try and divert Heaven’s plan. And though it may not be right, he feels he needs to divert it within Heaven. Maybe then he can prevent another atrocity, maybe then he can protect the lives on Earth that he loves. He feels as though that’s his duty. So, for the second time, he fakes a smile and follows Metatron into the elevator. 

Aziraphale believes (despite how much he may want to stay) that in order to try and stop disaster, in order to save lives, he has to go even if it pains him.

(Sorry if this was like super incoherent, this show melted my brain into Nickelodeon Gak.)

[goodomensjail]

Last thing for today I think cuz work…. Aziraphale is still trusting of systems and institutions because he has never held power within them

Everyone who has walked away from heaven and hell thus far have apparently held positions of power and become disillusioned with it

Beezelbub working hard to wrangle demons without recognition or thanks; Gabriel in charge in heaven but always questioned by the others and never actually caring about the human centered earth he is supposed to be fighting over; and Crowley who is OBVIOUSLY a high ranking Angel with lots of suggestions for the purpose of stars (and life really) apparently with the ear of God and the Metatron

Aziraphale was NOT an insider. He was not powerful within the system. AND he CARES about humanity and earth in ways Gabriel and the others never did. So in his mind, the system is still inherently good but filled with bad agents and he can fix it, he has the DESIRE to fix it and he still admires the institution/system.

He has to see from the inside that SYSTEMS and INSTITUTIONS are actually the problem not a few bad actors within them. Crowley knows this. Gabriel and Beezelbub know it they just don’t care cuz they don’t care for people, they are inherently selfish and can walk away.

I don’t blame Azirpahale and I think his character is super interesting. The opening scene, which I first thought was meaningless fan service that belittled the Eden scene in S1 is actually really really important for the final scenes of S2 episode 6

Azirpahale admires, or maybe even was infatuation with, or dare I say loves Crowley but it is only because he can continue to lie to himself and remember the Angel Crowley once was, he built his entire relationship with Crowley on the wrong assumptions, even when Crowley tells him “I am not an Angel and you do not know me” point blank, Crowleys kindnesses in Aziraphale’s mind PROVE his own biased view that THIS demon is different because of the perfect amazing Angel he WAS…. Not the person he is….

Anyway. It’s obvious we need season 3 but the more I think about it the more impressed I am with episode 6. It really took a silly little show to the next level.

And I think I’ll write to Amazon about how much I loved it? I don’t use Twitter so idk if there’s some email. If I find it I’ll share it.