When it hurts to move on, just remember the pain you felt hanging on.

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@lovingisnotasin
When it hurts to move on, just remember the pain you felt hanging on.
The Stranger Who Knew My Soul
When we first met, it was a stormy tide,
A dance of chaos, where shadows hide.
Eyes that pierced, like they’d known me before,
A stranger, yet something deeper at the core.
You spoke my truths, you called my name,
Unveiling fears I dared not claim.
Without a word, you unraveled the thread,
Reading the secrets I thought were dead.
It scared me, how you saw my scars,
Mapped my heart, aligned the stars.
Every corner I’d hidden away,
You illuminated with your radiant sway.
But in that terror, a spark did grow,
A connection stronger than I'd ever know.
Best friend and lover, a paradox rare,
A bond unspoken, beyond compare.
Vulnerable, bare, yet never alone,
You built a castle where fear had grown.
We were lovers, though never defined,
Bound by a thread that defied time.
Our hearts danced in a platonic sway,
A love so deep, yet kept at bay.
One night, when I lay in slumber’s grip,
Your lips brushed mine—a fleeting slip.
A kiss not meant for waking eyes,
A whisper of love in silent skies.
It shook my world, yet held me still,
A moment suspended, bending will.
For though our hearts were intertwined,
Our love was one we’d never define.
Differences grew, but so did we,
Finding peace in what could never be.
Now, as I look at who we've become,
I see a journey that’s only begun.
In time, you found your people, your place,
A haven of joy, a warm embrace.
And so did I, yet deep inside,
I’ll cherish the love we never had to hide.
Effortless, simple, pure as the air,
A bond unbroken, beyond compare.
Though life moves on, and paths depart,
You’ll always live within my heart.
Thank God this writer exists n saved me that day.
it's better I'm abandoned, left alone, For my storms destroy all hearts I've known.
Love's essence lies in choosing Return to me; I choose you You've always been my choice In all moments, it's you. My heart, forever yours, chosen.
This is a song of the travelling soul. Intimate, personal. Almost singing to oneself. With acoustic guitar and sparse arrangement. “I have been walking forever. Never reaching. I run very fast sometimes. Never move on. I am going fast, nowhere. I want to tell you my journey. The view from the window seat. The changing landscape of imagination. I want to talk of moving constantly, and reaching nowhere. There is so much that has to be said, but words destroy what I have to say”.
"You are sexy in the kind of way where I would stay up all night talking to you.."
Deep talks + moonlight = a deeper connection - eUë
Tumblr is a safe place where you come, rant and nothing goes out👍🏻
Sometimes I can't believe I was in 3 years of LDR as now it has been just 3 days since I last met her and I'm dying to see her face again :(
I wanna remember someone and keep remembering them. I wanna learn about someone and keep on learning them everyday. I want... I want to keep on loving someone and not have to forget them...
You need to understand the difference between someone who actually values you and someone who just wants access to your energy, feed off your intense emotions, and take advantage of your generosity.
you wanted to be a good friend, because you loved your friends, but the truth was that everyone else somehow had a pamphlet on being normal that you never received. most of the time you learn by trial-and-error. you are terrified of the next big mistake you make, because it seems like the rules are completely arbitrary.
you've learned to keep the prickly parts of your personality in a stormcloud under your bed - as if they're a second version of you; one that will make your friends hate you. it feels feral, burning, ugly.
instead, you have assembled habits based on the statistical likelihood of pleasing others. you're a good listener, which is to say - if you do speak up, you might end up saying the wrong thing and scaring off someone, but people tend to like someone-who-listens. or you've got no true desires or goals, because people like it when you're passive, mutable. you're "not easy to fluster" which is to say - your emotions are fundamentally uninteresting to others around you; so you've learned to control them to a degree that you can no longer really feel them happening.
you have long suspected something is wrong with you, but most of the time, googling doesn't help. you are so-used to helping-yourself, alone and with no handbook. the reek of your real self feels more like a horrible joke - you wake up, and, despite all your preparations, suddenly the whole house is full of smoke. the real you is someone waiting to ruin your other-life, the one where you're normal and happy. the real-self is unpredictable, angry.
your real self snarls when people infantilize the whole situation. because if you were really suffering, everyone seems to think you'd be completely unable to cope. but you already learned the rules, so you do know how to cope, and you have fucking been coping. it's not black-and-white. it's not that you are healed during the other times - it's just that you're able to fucking try. and honestly, whenever you show symptoms, it's a really fucking bad sign.
because the symptoms you have are ugly and unmanageable for others. your symptoms aren't waifish white girl things. they're annoying and complicated. they will be the subject of so many pretentious instagram reels. if they cared about you, they'd just show up on time. you care, a lot, so deeply it burns you. you like to picture a world where the comments read if they loved you, they'd never need glasses to see. but since that's a rule you've seen repeated - "one must never be late or you are a bad friend" - you constantly worry about being late and leave agonizingly early. there are no words for how you feel when you're still late; no matter how hard you were trying.
so you have to make up for it. you have to make up for that little horrible real you that you keep locked in a cabinet. you are bad at answering emails so every project you make has to be perfect. you are weird and sensitive so you have to learn to be funny and interesting. you are an inconvenience to others, so you become as smooth as possible, buffing out all the rough parts.
all this. all this. so people can pass their hands over you and just tell you just the once -how good you are. you're a good friend. you're loveable.
“And if you call me at 4 am, too sad to even say hello, I will listen to your silence until you fall asleep.”
— Unknown
The broken will always be able to love harder than most. Once you've been in the dark, you learn to appreciate everything that shines.
Unknown
Never stop being a good person because of bad people.
Unknown
"Just because someone hurts you doesn't mean you can simply stop loving them. It's not a person's actions that hurt the most. It's the love. If there was no love attached to the action, the pain would be a little easier to bear"
-Colleen Hoover, It Ends with Us