Letās talk about Damenās grief (Part three)
Imagine losing your father, your lover, your brother, your country, and your kingdom, all one go. But then you never complain, just keep you grief in check, hope for the best, take it all in stride, etc. etc. (Part one and part two)
He falls in love, only momentarily, and then loses that too The second his identity isnāt an unacknowledged secret. He still gets used to having his heart ripped out and fights for his country.
But then, he loses his son. Thatās when it all catches up to Damen. The unbearable losses, the lost family, being of every thing thatās his - family, dignity, identity, respect, a boyfriend, reputation, and then his son, his fucking son!!!! *wracking sobs* Itās too sad, the way he feels like he is being denied family. I like to think he thought of Laurent too when he said this. Itās the first time in the entire trilogy we see the depth of Damens grief. How he just sits there and recollects his fatherās last words, The way he describes his voice to be made of just breath (the pain of seeing someone you love fade away), devoid of his usual ādeep-timbreā, or that his fatherās hand was never going to be in his hair again. šššššššš Itās really the first time I saw Damen as a son needing his father, and not Damianos the prince killer Itās so painful, that Damen also thinks he is failing his father. Noooo, youāre not.
And above all of this, he is just crying. Poor babyšš„ŗ, itās going to be okay.ššš
Like, can someone just hug him. Oh wait, someone does. Laurent. Good job, blondie, finally.
It also makes sense that Damen just skips the small talk and abruptly says that his father is dead. Like he couldnāt go on pretending to not grieve his father. Like he wants Laurent to know how much his father means to him. The father Laurent hates. It makes so much sense, āTake me for who I amā - i.e. my fatherās son, your brotherās killer, a barbarian etc. etc. Laurent doesnāt want to do that ānowā I never understood what he meant by that. He meant he didnāt want to address the hatred (there was no denying it), or recollect how much he hurt Damen with words and actions, not in that moment, when Damen had been given more than he could take and he was aching for Damen too. Laurent wanted to comfort him and Damen was twisting the knife in his own stab wound, asking him to accept him for no he was. So much āØpaināØ. Fuck, fuck, fuccckkk. This whole exchange is angst af. But it starts making sense when you think about what Damen is going through.