Where My Demons Hide

I’ll be there by your side. Just you try and stop me, I’ll be waiting in line. Just to see if you can

[wnq-writers]

Oh, the stars looked so beautiful, and just like her, they could never be mine.

bleedingatakeyboard (via clairewords)

[blakextaylor]

The young woman held on to the man tight. “I know, I just don’t feel good about the way I dropped you. I pushed you away and I’m so sorry,” her voice cracked as she tried to stop the tears from flowing even more so than they were. The girl was a complete wreck now and she knew that her best friend was the only person that could help her through this despite the fact that they had grown apart. “I wish it were easier than that. That it wouldn’t take time..” she murmured, her voice cutting off to silence. It was pathetic for her to think she’d be over it in a couple days but that’s all she wanted was to forget and move on. “Thank you Lucas,” she whispered as she was wrapped up in his arms. There was much meaning in those words and rather her best friend knew it or not, she couldn’t tell but she sincerely meant it for everything he had done for her.

[lucasxturner]

Each crack in her voice was like a stab at Luke’s heart especially when it concerned her talking about him. The repetitive sorry’s weren’t going to fix what she did to him though he didn’t dare tell her that since it seemed his pleas would fall on deaf ears. Scoffing under his breath the dirty blonde gave her a hopeful smile. “Yeah, I’m sure we all wish it was easier than that...” He murmured softly his eyes falling onto the fridge in front of them, masking just how much he hated time as time and time again he told himself that the feelings he had for his best friend would fall away in time. “You’re welcome.” Pressing a kiss to the crown of her head Luke nodded. “Anytime... I wish I could do more for you-- I’m sorry.” He whispered his own voice cracking some. 

[noahxasher]

I’m sure you’re not alone in thinking it. I think anyone in their right mind would be appreciative of the situation - not many people would do what you’re doing in that scenario rather they love them in that way or not. Have you told her that? Yeah, definitely wishful thinking. I just don’t want to hurt her or myself again, y’know. I was the one who told her to leave in the first place, it would make me a hypocrite and probably wouldn’t go over very well.

[lucasxturner]

You’re painting this like I’m some sort of hero, a good person would have taken her in regardless of how they felt. Told her what? My feelings? Ha! Don’t make me laugh, of course I haven’t. You are right, I totally understand why you want to not be a hypocrite and you are probably right in the aspect where it’d end up just hurting the both of you again. Maybe nothing romantic, but what about just friends? There’s no harm in that... Unless you realize you do love her and then you’re stuck in the friend zone. A zone that is really painful.

[blossomfully]

There she was, at 4am, in your bed. You loved her then, didn’t you? She was wearing your duvet like a cape, with her head poking out. She loved you back; she really did. You said, “I don’t know what to do. I’ve never met anyone like you.” She said simply, “kiss me.” So you did. You lifted her chin and kissed her mouth and swallowed her giggles whole. You felt her sunshine fill your lungs as she wrapped her arms around your neck. You felt the duvet fall as she leant forward. “Tell me a secret,” she said. She was always saying these things. “I’ve told you everything already,“ you said. Your lips were on her neck. “Tell me a secret,” she repeated. “Okay,” you sighed, “I love you.” “Tell me a secret.“ "I’ve always loved you.”

S. Zhao (via blossomfully)

[lucasxturner]

noahxasher:

It’s very weird - the type of weird that my mind can’t wrap around - I just don’t understand it. They really wouldn’t though man but it shows how good of a friend you are and I’m sure she appreciates it a lot. Or you could be insane too, that’s the only other explanation. I don’t know, maybe I thought everything would be different and there’d be no awkwardness but I suppose that’s how life doesn’t work. Yeah I’m trying to act natural it’s just hard - and I don’t want her to get close to me y’know?

I’m glad that I’m not the only one that thinks so. Yeah, I mean I’m sure she does and I guess that means I’m a good friend but I love her you know? So what else could I have done? We can only wish for no awkward moments in our lives man. I get what you mean, I wouldn’t want her getting close if I was in your shoes either, but I mean could it hurt if you gave into the fantasy for just a lil bit?

[lucasxturner]

blakextaylor:

Her eyes looked up at him and back down to her hands where her thumbs were fumbling with each other. “You really shouldn’t be,” she muttered, mostly to herself more than anything. The girl honestly didn’t think it was right that he was putting his own feelings aside for her and perhaps, just maybe if she had some family to go to to get away from her ex, she would have as she hated making things so difficult for him. “I’m sorry,” Blake breathed, her voice cracking a bit at the end. The girl felt defeated, mostly because she was tired mentally, physically, and emotionally. Closing her eyes for a moment, she instinctively let Lucas wrap his arms around her and hold her tight against him. Part of her never wanted him to let go. “I know,” the brunette swallowed. “I know you won’t Luke,” she mumbled. “I don’t mean to it’s just I can’t.. how do you unlearn and forget something you’ve been used to for so long?,” she broke.

Parts of him broke watching her crumple apart and other parts made him sick at how much he loved it cause she was back in his arms. “Don’t apologize. Don’t ever apologize to me Blake it’s not your fault.” He murmured as his breath hit the top of her head. Squeezing her tightly he never wanted to let her go now that she was back in his arms; back in his life. Frowning at her words Lucas couldn’t even fathom how to answer her question-- how to help her. Setting some space between the two he gently coasted her chin up as he spoke, “Time... That’s all you can do Blake is give it time and you’ll overcome it. I promise you will.” Wrapping her back up in his arms he held his best friend and woman he had helplessly fallen head over heels for. “I’ll be right here every step of the way for as long as you need me to be.”

[lucasxturner]

Fifty totally random questions: 15-20 27-32 47-50

15. Are they the big spoon or the little spoon?

Big spoon

16. How do they like their eggs?

Over-easy, but also I’m a sucker for scrambled eggs with cheese.

17. How do they like their toast?

Where it’s almost toasted all the way, but it’s still soft.

18. Queso or guacamole?

guac of course.

19. What are they like as a neighbor?

A rather nice one? He talks to everyone he meets, but he does like his privacy though his next door neighbor tends to be the one that sometimes makes sure he’s eaten when he has long shifts.

20. How do they behave when confronted with deadlines?

Very well as he is an EMT and he likes to get his paperwork done quickly, though if it isn’t anything that should be immediately done he’s a procrastinator. 

27. Is your muse a dreamer or a realist?

He’s a mix of the two, but he tends to ignore the dreamer part of him.

28. Android, iPhone, or other?

Android.

29. What’s their Subway order?

Italian Sub

30. Trendsetter, trend follower, or trend ignorer?

Trend Ignorer

31. What about themselves do they usually not tell people? What are they embarrassed of?

He doesn’t tell a lot of people about his past or what he is really feeling. He keeps secrets and doesn’t share much.

32. What’s their ideal vacation?

Ideal vacation would probably be going to a wildlife preserve. 

47. How do they go about asking someone out or confessing their feelings about someone to them?

He’s very closed off when it comes to his emotions, but he is very confident. So if he would to ask someone out he’d probably just go right out and ask, as for his emotions he would be super bashful and shy the complete opposite of how he would be asking someone out on a date. 

48. When do they usually go to bed?

His hours are very insane, but regularly he is in bed around midnight.

49. In the “sleep vs. grades vs. social life, pick two” situation, which two do they pick?

He would probably pick Sleep vs. Social Life and Social Life vs. Grades.

50. What do they think is the meaning of life?

He thinks the meaning of life is to make the best out of the time we are allotted while ultimately bettering yourself and always learning. 

[lucasxturner]

[Blake] From the last meme (Send me a symbol): ♣ ☎ Ϟ ◊

♣: here, have a not so regular text message.

{ t e x t }: Hey… I know this is out of the blue, but I might actually have the chance to ask that one girl I was talking to you about out! Crazy right so I was wondering if we could totally forget everything I said about having feelings for you so this could work out maybe?

☎: For a drunk phone call.

{ c a l l } : Blake… Please pick up the phone honestly this is the third– no fifth? What was it Tony? No it’s not Blake it’s– Blakey… I think I’m lost.. I don’t really know where I’m at, but the stars look so pretty and they kind of remind me of your eyes you know when you find something really interesting. You always get a sparkle and it might seem cliche, but that’s how I know you’re happy… I don’t see the sparkle anymore.

ϟ: There’s a storm going on and our muses are stuck together in a house- how will this go?

While this wasn’t exactly how Lucas had imagined the day going as he had to call into work saying that there was no way he’d be able to go into work with the storm that was raging on outside. Instead he was forced into spending however long the storm lasted with his best friend Blake and there was nothing that could stop the smile that formed on his face. He had already began thinking of ideas that they could do before he rang into work the two had always been able to make the most of these kinds of situations when they were children there was no way they wouldn’t be able to now right? So walking the stairs up to her room he knocked once before proceeding in sitting at the end of the bed mindlessly chattering about board games, and if the electricity didn’t go out on them a whole day for a scary movie marathon. Maybe if he was lucky they’d fall asleep together and he could wake up next to the girl that had stolen his heart and breath away so many times. 

◊: Your muse comes to mine, crying, how does my muse react?

Tears were never his thing, hell emotions alone scared Lucas and had him running to the hills. Now his best friend was there standing in front of him sobbing tears nonstop like an angry wave and it terrified him. He stood still for a few seconds before walking ever so cautiously to her and wrapping his arms around her as he pulled her tightly to his chest. He’d keep quiet because lord knows Lucas doesn’t know how to comfort people give him someone who was hyperventilating and he could coax them down and inject them with something soothing. This? This was raw and all he could do was hold her shaking form, pressing a lingering kiss to her forehead as he whispered the only words that crossed his brain. “I’m here.”

[lucasxturner]

blakextaylor:

Blake could tell the male was getting aggravated with her and she knew she should’ve dropped the conversation as soon as she started it. But that’s not who she was. The girl was hard headed and never went down without a fight, perhaps that’s what had gotten her hurt in more ways than one with Nathan. She was problematic and that’s all there was to it. Blake tried not to let her surprise show at Lucas’ tone, she hadn’t heard him use that tone in a long time and it was never towards her. “No,” she whispered, answering his question as to if she were happy or not. “I just wanted you to admit it and stop pretending around me,” the girl admitted herself, her voice soft and tired. “I didn’t mean to start an argument.. that’s the last thing I wanted. I just, I needed to know is all,” a single tear fell down her cheek, though she quickly wiped it away as if it never happened. Blake bit her lip and she looked up at him through watery eyes, taking in his exhausted looking features. “I don’t want you to be him,” she murmured, “you can’t be him.”

Staring at her incredulously Lucas sighed shaking his head in disbelief almost. “Pretending? I’m not pretending with you Blake, I’m just putting my feelings aside to make sure you’re okay...” Commenting softly Luke explained his teeth digging so deep into his bottom lip that he could taste the metallic of his own blood. “I didn’t either... But I’m not pretending with you... I never pretend with you.” Swallowing at how deep that could potentially be, despite that Lucas was always pretending around the petite brunette it seemed like but never in the way she was insisting. Watching the tear fall Luke shook his head his hand automatically reaching for it before she beat him to it. Giving her a pathetic smile, Lucas wrapped her in his arms again holding her tight against him. “I will never be him Blake... but you can’t--” Choking on the emotions Lucas shook his head instead dropping his own thoughts as he held her closer. “You can’t treat me like I am. I will never hurt you.”

[lucasxturner]

noahxasher:

I can understand that I mean hell you two didn’t talk for months and now all of a sudden you say she’s staying with you.. I wouldn’t expect anything less. It’s been.. weird, and hard. I don’t know how to act or what to say around her. I’ve been trying to just laugh around her and stuff but I don’t know if that makes things worse or not.

Yeah she’s living with me... That’s weird right? Like no one else would just let someone that walked out of their life come live with them in a matter of months. Maybe I’m insane... I’m sorry dude, it’s expected though at least you can laugh and try to be yourself though. Do you want my advice? Act natural, I mean no doubt there’s going to be tension between the two of you, but it’ll be worse if you both just act like nothing happened and try to be two different things or at least that’s what I’m learning.

[lucasxturner]

noahxasher:

I wasn’t expecting you to say that again. How’d that even happen? I thought you two hadn’t talked for months. Yeah, I’ve been doing good, keeping myself busy as well with work and stuff. Rose is back in town too.

In all honesty I don’t even know man... It all seems like I’m walking on eggs when I’m around her even though I try to get over it you know? We haven’t talked in months which is what makes this so hard... Oh damn... How’s that going?

[damnyouchuckbass]

[lucasxturner]

{ @noahxasher }

Blake is staying with me... I bet you thought I wouldn’t be saying those words again. How are you doing man? I’ve been so busy with work that I haven’t had the time to actually talk to anyone unless it being Blake.

[dailygifss]

[permanentlytragic]

They weren’t so much best friends as they were extensions of each other. The thing was, they could function without the other. They just didn’t want to.

a.g. (via billylewisjrrps)

[lucasxturner]

blakextaylor:

Though Blake was used to much worse gazes than Luke had been giving her, she slightly flinched at it though kept her composure pretty decently. “I don’t know what I was expecting you to do either,” she answered him truthfully. “But I didn’t honestly think you’d forgive me and we’d go back as being best friends just like that.” She listened to him as he mentioned how he just didn’t have the time to hold it against her but Blake knew better; Everyone in the world had time to hold things against people, rather they were busy or not.. that’s just how the world worked. “It just can’t be that easy,” the girl murmured, swallowing hard at him bringing up the fact that she wasn’t the one speaking to him. She couldn’t be mad at him for bringing that up though, it was beyond true and even she couldn’t deny it. At the time she thought dropping Luke was for the best but she only did it because Nathan told her to; It was farthest from the best thing. “I just..it doesn’t make sense to me is all,” she finally gave him, their argument wearing her down even more.

Locking his jaw Lucas’s patience with Blake was wearing super thin super fast. Of course he knew she’d put up a fight with how he was reacting towards her, she always had when she didn’t agree with him when they were younger. That was how they were, but they were adults now and while he adored her stubbornness normally this was going over the top. “We’re not going back to being best friends Blake...” Lucas belted out his tone mean-- meaner than he thought he could ever get with the female in front of him and more collected than he had thought possible. “Are we friends? Yes because there’s history between us, but just jumping back into being besties? That’s not how the world works. Is that what you’ve been wanting Blake? To hear me say that you hurt me? Well there you hurt me. Happy?” Luke’s voice cracking at the end of his sentence his eyes blinking rapidly to hide the frustrated tears that were collecting in the seas of his eyes. Running his hand through his hair taking in a lot of deep breaths through his nose before exhaling Lucas shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know what you want from me Blake... I’m not Nathan. I’m not going to sit here and argue with you over something that doesn’t even matter to me.” Finally turning to look at her his expression softer his jaw relaxed as his shoulders slumped visibly forward, he felt defeated. “I’m not Nathan... I won’t be him.” 

[lucasxturner]

blakextaylor:

“Really lucky,” she murmured, nibbling at her lip. She couldn’t understand why he was being such a good friend to her. If it were anyone else she was best friends with they would’ve given her a piece of their mind and walked out the door, leaving her to her own and probably never give her the time of day again. Perhaps it helped that the two knew each other from when they were just little kids but even still Blake wasn’t convinced. “I can’t just drop it,” she managed. “Forgiven or not, I’m an asshole who doesn’t deserve you.”

Beginning to grow irritated at how stubbornly she was holding onto this conversation. Luke shook his head with a breathy laugh looking at her with a nearly icy gaze. “Do you want me to kick you out then Blake? Honestly I don’t know what you expect me to do? Okay you don’t deserve me, but I was raised right by a mother who taught me that holding a grudge was stressful and useless.” Offering the advice his mother had given him because of this exact situation after he called her angry that the girl in front of him could just cut him off so easily. “I don’t have the time to hold it against you B... It’s too much and I already get less sleep cause of the hours I’m working lately so I just got over it... What else could I do? Remember you weren’t speaking to me.” He didn’t bring it up to hurt her feelings, or to make her feel like crap because Lucas really didn’t know what else she wanted from him. He had forgiven her because he had put himself in her shoes and if his lover wanted him to give up talking to Blake he imagined he might have done the same thing she did. “You did what you thought was for the best, and yes it pissed me off I got over it and I really want you to to... All that matters is that you’re here now and that you’re safe.”