God Iām such an asshole Iām such an asshole Iām such an asshole heās the only person I never want to hurt and look what I fucking did
Not today Justin
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@lucilfersdiary
God Iām such an asshole Iām such an asshole Iām such an asshole heās the only person I never want to hurt and look what I fucking did
Iām disgusted with myself. I failed to consider somebodies feelings and now they are upset. I thought I was better than this.
Irrationally being the key word there.
Yes irrationally being there keyword, I have intermittent explosive disorder the key symptom of which is āexplosions of rage that are disproportionate to the situation.ā Im aware itās irrational but that does not mean I am able to control it.
Donāt respond to my vents with positivity and shit none of you know me you donāt even know my NAME. It makes me irrationally angry.
I donāt want to be a bad person anymore
Thereās already enough evil in this world I see no need to add to that
My aspd blog (this one) is my main blog btw
Iām never helping anybody again. Iāll let everyone do what they like. Oh you want to talk to your abuser and lie to me about it? Go a fucking head.
People only like me when i pretend to be better even if it kills me.
Oh.
I feel extremely numb today. Though it isnāt pleasant as I usually find it.
I am so insufferably bored I am genuinely considering offing myself to relieve this suffocating feeling
ID: box that says āthis user is chronically bored" there is an empty thought bubble on the left side
A lot of others with aspd are INTP or ENTPs, thatās quaint
TERFS, RADFEMS, Pro-life, anti-Sex work. Etc bitches arenāt welcome here lmao get fucked.
Hearing it referred to as āour disorderā by another individual with it made me feel far less alone.
Iāve been doing the things I am supposed to, Iāve been studying, working out, sleeping at reasonable times, engaging with people again, interacting with others. Everything thatās supposed to make things ābetterā. So why do I feel worse? I feel as though I am teetering on the edge of spiralling and I donāt understand why. I did everything I was supposed to.