Moments before death.
Jules of Nature
RMH

Love Begins

JBB: An Artblog!
styofa doing anything
$LAYYYTER
NASA
sheepfilms

pixel skylines

★
dirt enthusiast
h

ellievsbear
YOU ARE THE REASON

Janaina Medeiros

Andulka

shark vs the universe
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
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#extradirty
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@luckitucky
Moments before death.
when i was in middle school nickelodeon on directv broke and it froze on the same frame for five hours. which would not have been so bad, except it was during the episode of spongebob where he goes to live with the jellyfish. specifically the scene where he’s naked and covered in sea urchins and flopping all over the place trying to get them off. and it froze on the frame where spongebob was facedown on the ground, naked. so he was laying there like that in complete silence for five hours. we would change the channel back every so often to see if he’d gotten up, but he was still like that when we went to bed. none of my friends had directv so when i asked them the next day they hadn’t seen it, but my brother and i were pretty convinced that spongebob was dead.
*knock knock*
“Anyone there?”
“Ah ha! You are here. Won’t you let me in?”
“No? I’m afraid you won’t have a choice in the matter.”
“That should do it!”
“Now, now. Don’t be afraid.”
“I’m only here for your life.”
But… I bought Skyrim… Twice…
Buy it again
I don’t have any money, Mr. Howard.
Well, im sorry but you leave me no choice. Id rather not do this so im giving you another chance to buy The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim™ Remastered Edition. Its Skyrim in a whole new dimension!
I just need to get my paycheck, and then I’ll buy it, I swear!
It says here that you bought groceries this week. If you hadnt you could use that money to buy an incredible experience that is worth infinitely more, and it just works
I can’t play Skyrim if I’m dead, Todd.
Really fool? I’ll have Skyrim: Special Edition ported to hell by this October, this one’s free
And who says I’m gonna go to hell?
Mere bullets cannot stop me, mortal. Either bend to my will or you will suffer endlessly in my divine fire
You revealed your true form far too early, Howard.
And I have yet to even start powering up!
First, I shall pause you in time!
And then,
This is no ordinary gun, Todd. Take a closer look.
I shall absorb your company into Electronic Arts and bleed you dry! Your fate shall eclipse that of Mass Effect in terms of severity!
FOOL, YOU THINK THAT BETHESDA MATTERS TO ME? THEY WERE ONLY A TOOL TO FURTHER MY PLANS. YOU WILL BURN!
KNOW MY WRATH MORTAL
> mortal
He thinks I’m a mortal!
You have no clue who you are dealing with, Todd!
I have more power in my nose hairs than you do in your entire body, Todd!
You have one chance to earn your continued existence. Announce or release a game that isn’t Skyrim or Fallout 4 at the next E3. I shall be waiting for you there.
y’all did a whole RP on my post this is the funniest shit
He is sealed.
wнαт тнe ғυcĸ ιѕ тнιѕ?
My three girlfriends. And yes, they smoke weed.
do they smoke weed?
Yes, actually.
you mean she isnt just smoking a cigarette? but a weed cigarette?
It’s called a bunt…. Not weed cigarette… And yes, it is a weed bunt. They all smoke weed bunts before we kiss. (They are my girlfriends,)
They don’t look like they smoke weed.
Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. I’m so angry you are so lucky my three weed smorking girlfriends are rubbing my shoulders to calm me down I’m so mad.
Your “weed smoking girlfriend” has a Hello Kitty tattoo on her belly. The one in the middle.
I printed out a photo of your avatar and taped it to my punching bag that I punch and I mutter your URL with every strong punch I punch you twerp…. Don’t ever Talk about Blaiz or the wicked Tat(tattoo) I drew on her ever again I Don’t wanna see you standing outside my home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again ok leave us alone this is the FINAL FUCKING WARNING
Well that escalated quickly……
What, was that? Hmm? Come again. *Blaiz grabs my shoulder* Come on Jory, they aren’t worth it, please. * I jerk my shoulder shaking her hand off* NO! NOOOOO!!! *starts to just pummel you with my big fucking fists. With each blow I let out a furious yell. The blows come quicker and harder and the yells get louder. I’m yelling so loud and now I’m crying. BREAKING POINT. The week was hard and I can’t take anymore. I’m opening sobbing at this point while you blood gurgle. All three of my girlfriends struggle to pull me off and they finally succeed and lead me away from the goo pile that is now your body*
haha oh my god
who even is this dude? someone needs some anger management classes.
love how he keeps reminding us that “I HAVE THREE GIRLFRIENDS”, “THEY ALL KISS ME”, and “THEY SMOKE WEED HURRP DURR”.
and let’s not forget the “Blaiz” and her “wicked tat”, or that he doesn’t “wanna see you standing outside [his] home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again”, and that this is “the FINAL FUCKING WARNING”.
“the goo pile that is now your body”
i’m dying over here, jesus
please, Jory, come challenge me to a bout of internet witticsisms; i promise, it’ll be fun.
*shoots you dead* Heh, idiot… *leaves with my three weed smorking girlfriends to go hold hands and kiss.*
this dude playin omg
Come again? *The bar falls silent. No one dares to make a sound, as you have just said a very poor choice of words at a very dangerous time. I remain slumped over the bar, not looking back to you. One hand limply holding an almost empty bottle, the other hand cradling my head. I repeat the question, this time louder.* Come again?! *You can hear me slur the words, the sentence sounds like a real struggle for me to get out. I’m clearly intoxicated. A bead of sweat rolls down your face as you realize you might have just fucked up in a very major way. Everyone else in the bar is pretending to not notice what is going on. The bartender idly washes a mug with a cloth. His eyes are closed and he’s muttering something to himself. A handful of people hurriedly leave. One person looks back at you, a look of sorrow on their face. They almost say something, but shake their head and cast their eyes down to the floor, and leave. But not you. You stand, petrified. A quick look at me reveals I’m still at the bar. You look to the exit, there’s still time. But there’s not, there’s not, there’s not. Your fate was sealed the moment you opened your mouth.* Mother fuck.. what did you say?! *I slowly rise from my stool and being to lumber over to you. I look a mess. My hair is unkempt, I haven’t shaved in what looks like months, there are dark heavy bags under my eyes, my shirt is stained and has holes in it, and I’m missing a shoe. But the main thing you notice is the gun tucked into my jeans, and my massive muscle arms that look like they were made for punching. You know that song about the boots that were made for walking? Yeah, it’s like that only instead of boots it’s my muscles and instead of walking it’s punching. As I drunkenly sway over to you, you think of your family… Will they mourn you, or will they try and forget this blotch of stupidity, that their child insulted the Jory publicly, ever happened to their family? Your thoughts are cut short as I now stand face to face with you. I grab your face and pull you even closer.* Playin?! There was nothing playing… no playing you fuck. No playing… it was real.. the realest thing I’ve ever know.. felt… Love. I loved them… Blaiz…. Chas-Chas… Funk… I loved all three of em… but they…*My face is wet with tears and I’m blinking constantly in vain to hold them back.* They left me… left… *Almost instantly the sadness leaves my face and is replaced with pure anger.* Playin? Playin?! *My hand leaves your face and starts to head to what you think is the gun. You close your eyes and see God looking at you, shrugging. ‘Pft, you brought this upon yourself dude.’ He says as he waves his hands at you dismissively. But instead of the gun, my hands grab yours. Your eyes jolt open and the anger is gone from my face. There is only sadness.* Left me… * I fall to the floor and sob.* Wow, grow up. *You say before you leave the bar but are hit almost immediately from a car and are killed upon impact.*
Some of my favorite Wind Waker Manga pages.
I love this characterization of WW Link as a weird little gremlin child
@triforcez
Dark Souls: 2011
Super Smash Bros. Melee (2001)
omg wtf life hack
I screamed
*schlorp* OHOHOHO *shklump* AHAHAHA
I cannot stop watching this
@evasdraws