only the most beautiful edit ever !! :')
thank you, @billysgirllol

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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@lucygraysboy
only the most beautiful edit ever !! :')
thank you, @billysgirllol
that sure flourished a feeling through her, hearing him tell her she grounds him. hearin' my girl. loyalty. all of these wonderful sentiments. "do i now?" brows lift, a sweet look crossing her features. "that won't ever wear out, will it?" keeping him grounded.. she means, cause she's more than happy to keep grounding him she just doesn't want it to ever change. he loves so big and ferociously, it's beautiful. makes him such a beautiful man. as much as it scares her too, cause she doesn't want that fire ever blowing out. "i appreciate you tellin' me this. the truth." which is what has her opening her own heart to him, he's proved time and time again she can trust him, it's the exact thing that brings the guard down and sends her love for him flooding out of her chest, "loyal just to me? that's one of the most beautiful things i've heard." lips press a kiss to his cheekbone, hands moving to cradle his sweet face, "thank you, sweet boy. i'm loyal to you, too. just you and only yours. i want to spend my life with you too, just need you to stay out of trouble to be able to do that. i don't want to lose that or this." meaning that, because there's worries this'll be fleeting and another reason why it took so long for her to tell him she loves him. afraid it will all fall apart as soon as she does, so many dangers out here in this world and then this thing with mr. riley is making her nervous. "just don't know how we'll get out of this... cause i am, i'm here. and we will always have each other." the brunette promises, smiling warmly at the kiss he places to her cheek. summertime outside and glowing in her heart. "that's a long time to love me, better keep your promise cause i'll love you for all eternity too, billy bonney. here now and forever in heaven." cheeks flushing when she leans to kiss his lips, chest swelling, feeling like her love for him was on fire. a sugary laugh sounds from her about carving initials. "let's carve 'em right now... on one of those trees out there in the field." arm that isn't curled around his neck points across the porch. "mr. bonney and miss. baird. we even match last name initials, just proves even more we were meant to be."
“no, it won’t wear out,” billy insists without hesitation, planting a sweet, soft kiss on lucy gray’s cheek before shaking his head for emphasis. his ma had taught him all about love stories, about tristan and isolde, about romeo and juliet… he knows how each of them ends and refuses to accept the possibility of their story having such a tragic ending. “i’ll always feel this way ‘bout you. you and no one else. and i ain’t ever sayin’ no dumb til death do us part. i’ll be with you. always.” in death as well. for all eternity. blushing when she kisses his face, he lays a hand over her wrist and cols his calloused fingers around it. the pad of his thumb brushing lazily over her knuckles. the way she’s looking at him… it has something shifting within him. it’s almost like he ain’t billy the kid. he’s just william h. bonney when he’s with her. he’s just another kid in love. lord, he don’t reckon anybody’s ever looked at him like that before. her promise settles deep in his chest. loyal? forever? just to him? he lets out a shaky little laugh, struggling to fully wrap his head around this moment. it’s almost too good to be true. “reckon i’m the richest outlaw alive then.” she really does keep him steady, reminds him there’s more to life than outrunnin’ the next gun. “we’ll find a way to get out of this mess, lucy gray. even if we have to move a thousand miles south and lives in some hut by the amazon,” he murmurs, trying to cheer her up, the tip of his nose brushing her jaw. “i’ll do a couple more favors for mr. riley and maybe he’ll help me get back on my feet, help me find a good lawyer, someone who will plead my case to the judge and… you know.” take the noose off his neck. it’s the idea of carving their names into the trees out there in the field that has him smiling again. genuinely smiling. he’d like to leave a mark. a reminder that their love isn’t merely a dream. “let’s go on and do this.” he even has a knife attached to his belt. it would be a shame not to do this. “lucy gray baird and billy bonney. lots of letters, huh? how ‘bout we go for LGB+WHB?”
“cons of havin’ a tall man, huh?” billy muses, leaning down to plant a sweet kiss on top of her head, “and pros of havin’ a short girl.” winking, he doesn’t like this strange tension and naively hopes it can resolve without a proper conversation all because he’s not ready to face the damage that he’s caused. “you have to watch it with me some day. you’re gonna love it. yeah, it’s for nerds but there’s romance, ain’t you into that?” is it the most epic romance in the history of romances? probably not. but it’s good enough to be a distraction from the main plot. “yeah, well, a responsible dad would have skipped a trip to the bar and went straight home to his baby,” he points out, no trying to revive the old argument but also feeling the need to defend himself. he wouldn’t have gone to the bar or gotten shit-faced last night if he was a father. “yeah, there’s germs on it and stuff, too. eww. yuck.” he tickles the sole of matilda’s chubby little foot, smiling at lucy gray and thinking she would be a good mom but… one day. he won’t pressure her. “oh, sorry, ma’am,” he laughs, covering matilda’s eyes, her entire face actually, with his large hand, and jokingly lingering in the doorway, adding, “just for the record, i still think you’re the hottest girl in the world, peein’ or not.” it’s a human thing. it doesn’t bother him. still, he’s not an idiot and walks out of the room to give her some privacy and to pack his backpack, all the stuff he wants to take to the water park. the silly teddy bear shorts… lord. “okay, i’ll give ‘em a call.” he picks up the ancient looking phone and dials the designated room service extension, ordering them waffles and some coffee.
"my con turned into a pro," definitely would deem it as that if it earns her head kisses, finding it funny calling her short girl. "but i do have many pro thoughts on why i do love a tall man." one tall man. "not against things that are for nerds, i'm a nerd too." theater kid nerd, but that don't bother her. "and i like discoverin' new things with you, so we'll do it. the romance part sounds like a bonus." tiny smile tugged at her lips, likin' he offers it. "that does sound like a good dad decision..." she admits, unable to stop smiling at the way he said his baby - just sounded sweet from his voice - before expressions soften, "but did you go to the bar cause of not bein' a daddy though? yet. out of genuine curiosity on what even happened cause i couldn't get a straight answer while you were drunk." that anger that consumed her couldn't handle it last night, regrets being mean in a smart ass way to him, but then she thinks about the lack of being a mother making her less of a woman comment and she wants to sink into the toilet and be flushed away with it. least there's a fleeting moment with the amusing way his hand covers matilda's face and her hand flails around trying to get the big thing off. "hot even when i pee? are you sugar talkin' me, billy bonney?" calling after him when he leaves, getting up and wiping then going to the sink to wash her hands. after that lucy gray tip toes into the room behind him, letting him hang up with room service before hopping up on the bed with one knee to give her a boost and playfully attacking his face with wet pats to his cheeks. "plus, i have a question?"
“i think you’re perfect just the way you are,” billy muses with a smile, glancing down at matilda and blushing like a schoolboy upon hearing lucy gray’s confession. he knows that she likes how tall he is but these little reminders are very much appreciated. “you’re a different kind of nerd.” that’s why he doesn’t know if she’ll be into star wars but he’ll happily introduce her to these movies. he’s not a huge fan but he’s seen the prequels several times. “okay, we’ll do it. i’m pretty sure all these movies are on disney+ so we can just watch them later tonight,” he suggests, combing his unruly curls with his fingers, struggling to make them look presentable. “no, lucy gray, i didn’t go to the bar ‘cause i ain’t a father yet.” or a husband for that matter, but his head hurts too much to go back to that conversation. “i wanted to make it to your show real bad but my flight got delayed. there was a crazy storm in canada, nothin’ takin’ off or landin’ in alberta for hours. it was already too late by the time i touched down at home.” he saw river had posted a bunch of stories and got jealous, and wanted to numb himself. it’s a terrible coping mechanism, reminds him too much of antrim… he gotta stop doing that. “truth be told, lucy gray, i don’t think i want to be a father anytime soon. i’ve slept on it, thought long and hard and… i ain’t ready. so we’re all good.” on the same page. for now. “hot all the time, babe,” he clarifies with a laugh, taking matilda out of the carrier and sitting her down on the couch beside himself. he opens the lipgloss and mischievously draws a pink, glittery line on her chubby leg. laughing at the kisses, curiosity brimming in his eyes, he asks, “what’s that, huh? what question?”
"course." saying quietly, "closest thing i can reach to your face." so her kiss landed up on his neck. "but also, i like it." admitting that for god knows why. especially in the middle of animosity just lingering so thickly in the air she's about to choke on it. well, least watching the baby distracts her from it, finding amusement in how glitter inside a tube catches a tiny human's attention. accepting the kiss, she must not hate him too much, since the flutter in her heart is still there but the sinking feeling of it comes right after. "have to educate me on star wars better someday." saying quietly, like she's suddenly forgotten how to talk to him. "joy's of parentin', i guess. have to parent even when things hurt." which could definitely be secret code for how she feels. lifting her head when billy ruffles her hair, she grabs his hands and pins them back to his sides to keep him from making her look awful. "don't do that, sweetheart. might get choked," lucy gray gently mothers when she sees matilda putting the tube of gloss in her mouth, guiding her hands away. "i have to pee, is everyone gonna watch?" stepping over to the toilet, she moves with a swift tug downwards of her skirt and bikini bottoms and sits down. a little embarrassing, but oh well, her bladder was about to bust. "yeah," nodding, "might get a waffle off room service then go get lunch somewhere after the waterpark."
“cons of havin’ a tall man, huh?” billy muses, leaning down to plant a sweet kiss on top of her head, “and pros of havin’ a short girl.” winking, he doesn’t like this strange tension and naively hopes it can resolve without a proper conversation all because he’s not ready to face the damage that he’s caused. “you have to watch it with me some day. you’re gonna love it. yeah, it’s for nerds but there’s romance, ain’t you into that?” is it the most epic romance in the history of romances? probably not. but it’s good enough to be a distraction from the main plot. “yeah, well, a responsible dad would have skipped a trip to the bar and went straight home to his baby,” he points out, no trying to revive the old argument but also feeling the need to defend himself. he wouldn’t have gone to the bar or gotten shit-faced last night if he was a father. “yeah, there’s germs on it and stuff, too. eww. yuck.” he tickles the sole of matilda’s chubby little foot, smiling at lucy gray and thinking she would be a good mom but… one day. he won’t pressure her. “oh, sorry, ma’am,” he laughs, covering matilda’s eyes, her entire face actually, with his large hand, and jokingly lingering in the doorway, adding, “just for the record, i still think you’re the hottest girl in the world, peein’ or not.” it’s a human thing. it doesn’t bother him. still, he’s not an idiot and walks out of the room to give her some privacy and to pack his backpack, all the stuff he wants to take to the water park. the silly teddy bear shorts… lord. “okay, i’ll give ‘em a call.” he picks up the ancient looking phone and dials the designated room service extension, ordering them waffles and some coffee.
"i won't," catching his gaze in the mirror, she presses a kiss to his throat, "i promise." despite feeling weird emotions towards him with what was said last night-- a sadness pricking at her but mostly just hurt because she loves him too much and to hear him think things like that of her is really crushing, she still wouldn't purposely cut his skin. small hand holds his jaw, eyes carefully watching where she lifts the blade, making gentle strokes. dipping it under the faucet, rinsing then lifting again to work around the top of his lip with the clean blade, making small little strokes until all the stubble vanishes. hand still holds onto his jaw, now getting to his chin, under his jaw and turning his face some to reach the other side of his cheek.
all of the shaving cream leaving as she goes and then he's soon left with a smooth face. rinsing the razor again, lucy gray places it to the side then takes a dry cloth to dab across his face. both hands hold his jaw now, pushing up on tiptoes to kiss his lips, "there. so handsome." saying it quietly, lovingly, doe eyes just stare up at his beautiful catastrophic blues with a sadness glimmering behind hers, dulling the usual spark even though all consuming love is there raging in her chest for him. wanting to freely love him without feeling disappointment weighing in her chest at what he said and thinks of her, just difficult to do. and what if he doesn't even look at her like he once did before, what if not being a mama at her age already is just repulsive?
that horrible, insecure thought makes her drop her hands like he suddenly burns her. face sinking with her actions & going unusually quiet. "she is cute, isn't she. playin' with makeup and colorful watermelon swimsuit, she fits right in. sweet angel." lucy gray tickles her under chin, trying to mask the bad feeling in her voice even if the baby is adorable and looks even more painfully adorable held in billy's big arms. "well, matilda's ready for her bottle in the fridge and me... no i have not. haven't had the time. are you gonna eat anything? probably should."
a shiver races down billy’s spine when lucy gray’s lips find his throat. a gesture so sweet and unexpected that it has his heart skipping a beat and cheeks flushing. “okay, appreciate that,” he muses with a chuckle, trying to regain some semblance of control over his own body. he closes his eyes and holds his breath, letting her work magic on him. there’s tension between them, something’s off but he figures it’s all because he got drunk last night and ruined her fun. he feels awfully guilty for making her stay with him instead of celebrating her own success with the covey at the bar, for missing out on the most important show of the tour. he worries he’ll never be able to make it up to her. he holds still even as matilda begins to flail her arms and kick her legs, excited because she’s realized the lipgloss shimmers when she shakes it. “full service, hm? wow, thanks.” smiling when she dries his face up with a cloth, getting rid of any remaining shaving cream, he opens his eyes and leans in to give her a kiss. “only ‘cause i’m so in love with you, or whatever anakin said,” he laughs, trying to cheer her up without actually bringing up the events of last night because he feels too guilty to comfortably talk about them. “yeah, would be even cuter if my head wasn’t poundin’ like that,” he sighs, ruffling her curls and checking her work in the mirror. he doesn’t even think about trying to pry the lipgloss out of matilda’s hands, figuring she wouldn’t appreciate that. “we could get room service? whatever you want.” he’ll order something just so he doesn’t disappoint her more than he already has but feels like he may puke if anything makes it to his stomach. “unless you’d like to stop somewhere before we get to the water park?”
TOM BLYTH & RACHEL ZEGLER behind the scenes of last day of reshoots on set of The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes (2023)
"if you count last night, then yes. i reckon we did." but what was he again... oh yeah, drunk. "no she's allowed to go, there'll be a little float or somethin' her mama said she's gonna drop off before her and barb azure go off on their way." lucy gray tells him, "just as long as she's not in the deep end, of course." or nothin' stupid like that. "she can float around in the lazy river. play under the kiddie sprinklers. there's lots of things baby friendly." she informs before brows crease, "i can decide it wherever i want, but what's it matter to you? you said i would never be ready for motherhood or i don't find it special." really, she's just being difficult to mess with him, it was easy to do. really convince him she was wanting a woods birth when she wasn't that insane... but look at him believing it, tryin' to tell her what to do, it's good for him. no one tells her what to do OR tells her she wouldn't appreciate motherhood.
watching him find things to give matilda, of course he sacrifices her lip gloss but she's not mad about it, maybe secretly impressed his brain clicked enough to know baby's need things to play with. "she'd never do it to me. i'm the sweetest," smiling playfully, her hand touching her chest before eyes trail to his shaving cream covered his face once billy turns towards her. "course you do, that must be why you act the way you do." rolling her eyes back at him, small hand grabs his chin and twists his face to her sharply, grabbing the razor out of his hand. pulling him down closer because she can't reach, keeping a tight hold on his chin while concentrating closely once she does bring the blade to his skin and is very delicate in scraping the cream and stubble away to the contrasting way she's squeezing his face.
billy’s head continues to pound and lucy gray’s voice is only making things worse. he simply doesn’t have the energy to argue with her and so he nods occasionally, figuring if he keeps on agreeing with whatever it is that she’s rambling on about, he’ll be fine. it’s only when a strange silence falls over the room that he realizes… shit, she’s probably expecting an answer. he spits the toothpaste out into the sink, turning the water on, watching as it disappears down the drain. “well, that’s nice,” he mumbles with a smile, trying to hide the fact that he’s long lost the train of thought. he’s already swallowed two advils but is contemplating taking a third. goodness gracious… “and isn’t she dressed all cute, huh? matilda, you look very cute,” he praises, tickling the baby’s foot, praying she’s not growing bored. he’ll just die if she starts crying. his head will explode. “oh, she’s lovin’ the lipgloss. a true covey child, huh?” watching as the baby tries to figure out what to do with lucy gray’s gloss, billy catches his girlfriend’s eyes in the mirror and smiles innocently. “please, don’t slash my cheek open, yeah?” closing his eyes, he goes still and waits for lucy gray to work her magic. it actually feels nice. he could almost relax if it wasn’t for the pounding in his head and the tight grip she has on him. hands grabbing matilda’s chubby legs, making them wiggle. “have you two lovely ladies had breakfast yet?” he wonders, not that he could stomach anything but maybe they haven’t and he can nap some more while they eat.
"yep, sure are. that's what we all got planned today." on him for deciding to get drunk at the wrong time for the WRONG reasons last night... to what? down sorrows for problems he was makin' himself? put fire through her all over again thinkin' about it. it just sucked how cute he looked sitting next to matilda. "who's to say i don't already got it? found it pretty endearin' when she grabbed the back of your hair." a little short lived giggle sounds from lucy gray at that, finding the shorts choosing amusing too, giving a small clap of her hands for matilda's choice skills. "and why, i'm sure you don't like the way i give birth neither," she picks at him like an angry hen, already up on her feet, staring at his back while he trails off with matilda. can't be responsible letting her fall in the toilet if billy didn't fix that sling right. it wasn't even real, the woods birth clearly, but she still found a way to be mad at him for it. "that's just sad," saying with a gloomy sigh, "even if it's true, guess this all really is the no dad club-- ain't got one neither." no wonder, men were so difficult to put up with. billy's was just an exception, he just got mentally sick which is tragic in itself, something she hates to think about. and then she wondered if his mind ever worked like that which was a creepy and unsettling thought...
"i'm sure you will. thought you'd be happy to babysit, which is why i offered." giving him a tone that sounded a little in disbelief, since the hangover can't be feelin' fun. punctuating her sentence with a forced smile while she detours momentarily to the kitchen then comes back with a bottle of water, matilda just staring curiously at billy in the mirror, cooing some in amusement while she sits cute in her pink swim suit with white stripes her mama put her in. face drops as lucy gray stops in the threshold to take a sip of water, her expressions sinking and so does her attitude, "i'm helpin'," she states, swallowing, "but if you'd learn the meanin' of respect, i'll wanna make babies faster and sing less angry songs about you. it's simple." she steps forward once, reaching up to press the cold bottle to the back of his neck.
“have we talked about this before? planned ahead? ’cause i don’t remember,” he blurts out, squeezing some toothpaste onto his toothbrush. the mere thought of a waterpark, all those screaming kids and the stench of chlorine, has him shivering on the inside. dread filling his entire being. “not that i don’t want to go. i mean, i’d love to but… well, isn’t she too young for that kind of thing? are we sure she won’t get sick or catch somethin’?” he mumbles around the toothbrush, trying to spin the narrative around and sound like a concerned parent rather than a hungover asshole. “just wait until she does it to you.” a playful warning. billy knows better than to openly cross lucy gray. she’s got the upper hand today because there’s a whole bunch of mistakes that he has to fix, knowing he’s hurt her feelings. he has to let these comments slide. “honey, are you serious right now? upset ‘cause i don’t want you to give birth out in the woods? miles away from the nearest hospital? i have nothin’ against the woods themselves or mother nature, but bringing a child into this world can come with a lot of complications. i’m just tryin’ to make sure you’re safe.” lord, he feels like throwing up but swallows the bile and spits out the toothpaste, rinsing his mouth. to keep matilda occupied, he hands her one of lucy gray’s lipglosses, doubting she can open it and it’s too big to prove a choking hazard. “woo-hoo! no dads club!” he claps his hands and then reaches for the shaving cream, smearing it across his cheeks and jaw. “mind helpin’ me out?” he wonders, turning around to face lucy gray and giving her puppy dog eyes. she could help either by holding matilda or shaving his face for him. though, on a second thought, he doesn’t really trust her with a razor now. “no, that’s great, i’m so happy we get to be parents for the day.” just wishes he wasn’t dealing with a raging hangover. major inconvenience. his temples are thudding, his eyes are a little too sensitive to light, his mouth’s dry… the baby seems content for now but how long will he remain this way? surely not forever. “you know what? i actually like ‘em angry songs,” he chuckles, rolling his eyes when she lectures him on being respectful. he is respectful, though.
"yeah you do have to shower, cause we're goin' to the waterpark." lucy gray reminds, "and don't worry, i got the swim shorts figured out for you. you get the selection between..." digging in the diaper bag, she pulls out bright green scooby doo shorts, smirking at him as she holds them up, "or these." dropping the vibrant scooby doo's, she pulls out the pastel pink teddy bear swim shorts. "my favorite color. i sure do love it!" smirk turns into a bright grin now. "and daddy's happen to manage it all the time, good ones at least. they can brush their teeth and shower while supervising their nestlings." lucy gray reminds, smirk painting strawberry pink glossy lips again. "the grip?" for all this anger she has in her chest for him still, she still can't help but laugh again. "hm, yeah. that is a bit of a mind spinner, huh. well i could be fibbin'. always that option, too. birthed her all on my own, somewhere in the woods." amusement hanging in her voice. "and why would you say that to her? lord." ring clad had palms her own face. "don't listen to this, matilda. he's a silly man." luckily the foot tickle makes her flinch with giggles. watching him sit up holding his nose, she'd almost be tricked into feelin' bad for him if he hadn't said what he said-- she doesn't take motherhood seriously, thinks it's a bad thing, doesn't care about her being a singer first.
"she does like all baby dolls, like the ones we played with. except this one's real." she wonders if he's fake being excited probably like he did when they were little just to make her happy in this moment now. "well, that's the plan. not like i ever was against HAVIN' one." saying a little passive aggressively, giving him a pointed look but then the drool she catches running down matilda's hand and chin then onto billy's jeans twists her face back into something lighter. "i think you're havin' problems already. she needs a napkin." pointing to matilda's problem, digging into the pink diaper bag for the sling, holding it up then placing it to the side. "but once y'all are in the pool, you can't have that on her. and good, cause i'm eager to see it." patting his knee, she hops up and plops back down on the recliner, folding her arms behind her head like she's gettin' to be the lazy father but surely once he gets up she'll follow him to the bathroom just to make sure he's doing things right.
“oh, we are?” going to the waterpark? this is news to him but what choice does he have? he’s not really in a position to say no. his facial expression says it all, though, dropping as if she’d just informed him they were about to take a trip to teheran. “mhm, is that so? you do? how very thoughtful of you,” he muses but there’s not much confidence in his voice, sensing the shorts are most likely part of this whole payback thing. pale blue eyes flickering to the bright green fabric that she’s holding up, the pounding in his skull getting louder just from looking at the color. lord. this is bad. “oh, wow, how nice! thank you so much. i love scooby-doo.” well, he did love scooby-doo when he was six. he’s not necessarily thrilled about the opportunity to rock these shorts as a grown man. but again he can’t let her know that. “whoa, and the other option is… teddy bears?” fuck his life. “well, now that’s what i call a tough choice. how am i supposed to pick? matilda, would you mind helpin’ me out? which ones do you like best, huh?” taking his role as a dad seriously just to prove he’s ready for fatherhood, billy turns the baby around so that she’s facing the other way and can see the colorful shorts. the girl ends up reaching for the lavender shorts first and he cheerfully declares, “alrighty, the expert has spoken! we’re goin’ with the bears. great job, tildy.” he stands up, carefully transferring the baby to his hip, and grabs the awful shorts. people are gonna think he sucks cocks! “that’s true. you know what? by the end of the day, you’ll have the worst case of baby fever.” he somehow feels even worse standing up, temples throbbing, stomach twisting. it’s only by some miracle and sheer will that he doesn’t faint or throw up all over himself. he picks up the sling and tries to put it on. after several failed attempts, he places the baby on the couch and once both his hands are free, he finally manages to put it on. “let’s go on a little tour, matilda, shall we?” he picks her back up, puts her chubby legs through the holes and makes sure she’s comfy in the sling. pft, a piece of cake! “ohh, what’s that? a bathroom! yay!” he tickles the girl’s little feet to make her laugh, strutting to said bathroom, wishing he was dead. what do parents do when they’re hungover? hire a babysitter for the day. surely, they don’t walk around like this. “my nestling. you’re my nestling, matilda,” he laughs despite the pain, liking the sound of lucy gray’s giggles. the only good thing about this whole situation is the fact that she hasn’t yet broken up with him.
“she sure ain’t mine so… i’m kinda sad but don’t worry, we’ll raise her together. you won’t be a single mom,” he plays along, knowing her too well to fall for a prank like that. “i’ve heard of a water birth. this is the first time i’m hearin’ of a woods birth.” and it’s making him cringe on the inside. there’s no way he’s letting this fuckin’ hippie give birth somewhere out in the woods when the time comes. “we’re bondin’, alright? it’s a bondin’ experience, havin’ no dad. no dads club! yay!” he’d laugh but the sound of his own laugh only serves to make his raging hangover worse. “you know what? this is goin’ to be the best day of my life. she looks just like you. this is all i’ve ever wanted. we’ll have a blast,” he decides, giving himself a pep talk and praying he survives this amazing day. he flicks the lights on and walks into the bathroom, the baby in the sling. he points at their reflection in the mirror, beaming and cooing, “who’s that, huh? billy and tillie? can you wave? hi, matilda, hi.” he’s horrified, seeing he must have slept in yesterday’s clothes as they’re still on, his hair’s a mess, there are dark circles under his bloodshot eyes and… yeah, he definitely needs to shave. “am i a single father or are you playin’ house with me?” he calls out, wondering if lucy gray’s going to follow him or watch from afar. “alright, means we’re makin’ a baby tonight,” he insists confidently, even though a part of him is almost certain he’ll want no babies by nightfall.
“don’t cuss around the baby.” the brunette red lights him as soon as she hears the F word before her face drops and lips shrivel at what she just heard… then brows crease and a confused laugh burning her throat bursts through. “what?” hand flying to her chest, sitting on the silky bathing suit top, more confused laughter bubbles up from her. give daddy a pill or two… what the hell did he just say? even matilda finds laughter contagious, looking up at lucy gray and then finding it amusing to giggle too. “are you still drunk!?” lucy gray skeptically wonders, looking at him with a mix of confusion and amusement before remembering all the things he said last night and her mood instantly drops again. “i already got it. on the table next to you.” pointing to it, holding her hand on matilda’s back with the other.
once he finally gathers himself enough to raise up, eyes watch him curiously, ready to gauge how he’ll react. the confusion that ensues is just as satisfactory as she thought it’d be once it comes, sending her overboard in satisfaction. “shh, would you watch your potty mouth?” pressing her finger to his mouth, deviously giggling at the tiny brunette causing him to say ow. “oh, SURE. that’s what you’d think… well, you know me well,” playfully smirks and lightheartedly rolls her eyes to play with him, “she is. she’s what i’ve been hidin’.” holding back a laugh before face drops, “no,” singer states flatly, “no, a good friend of barb azure’s is over here with us, goin’ down to the water park. her name’s millie. well, the father of matilda dropped her off at last minute, i told her she didn’t need to sit out on the fun— i could babysit for her.” well, billy can. mostly. lucy gray dips down for a second, leaning back up to sit the heavy diaper bag on billy. matilda’s free hand coming up to her mouth, drooling all over her knuckles while staring at the boy. “so there, that makes you a daddy for a day. what do you think?” asking chipper, like she’s giving him a CHOICE. not. leaning in, she presses a kiss to his jaw and cheek, patting his other cheek. “ain’t that what you wanted, sweetheart? don’t act so shy on me now when it comes to babies, heard you’re ready for one. so shouldn’t be a problem.” since he’s eager to have one tomorrow.
blinking as though he was questioning his own sanity or expecting the baby to disappear, billy frowns and struggles to put two and two together even as lucy gray explains it all to him. “do we get to keep her?” he wonders stupidly, his foggy brain clearly in need of another moment before it will be ready to start the day. “right, my bad. sorry, baby.” about the cussing. “baby. what’s its name?” reaching for the first aid kit that she’s so thoughtfully set up for him on the table, he swallows two advils dry and refocuses on the baby. this is some sort of a test or payback. memories of the conversation he’d rather forget come rushing back, guilt and shame coiling deep inside his queasy belly. he wanted a baby so she made sure he’d learn what it’s like to be a dad. lord almighty… not today! still, he’s determined to prove lucy gray wrong. if only his head stopped pounding. “i — i have to shower and brush my teeth and all that,” he stresses, wondering how he’s supposed to do all that and babysit, shaking his head when she asks whether he’s still drunk. not drunk, just really, really confused. “thanks.” for the advil.
“right, my potty mouth’s shushing up now.” he pretends to zip his lips up and throw away the key, winking at the little baby. babies usually do like him but he’s never had to babysit one while so awfully hungover. “well, she looks like you, that’s why i was a little confused. the hair, the smile, the grip…” he muses, rubbing his sore scalp, knowing she’s messing with him when she admits the baby’s what she’s been hiding. he reaches for the bottle of water that’s on the table, downs the whole thing in a few big gulps, wishing it would magically cure this headache. “ah, matilda. matilda’s a very nice name. nice to meet you, matilda. i’m billy. billy and tillie, huh? we’re bout to become the best of friends. your dad sucks, huh? he a deadbeat? well, mine died when i was little so…” he gently tickles the girl’s foot, eyes flicking up to lucy gray when she sets the diaper bag on the couch.
he sits all the way up to make room for it and the world begins to spin. he has to lower his head, pinch the bridge of his nose and try to recover. lord, help him, this is going to be a long day. “oh, she comes with accessories! how fun!” he straightens up once more, trying again, and reaches for the diaper bag to see what’s inside. “oh, i love it. love surprises.” hates surprises. hates this, too. but he can’t give lucy gray the satisfaction of proving him wrong. “if i get through today, are we gettin’ one of our own? ‘cause now i ain’t gonna stop askin’.” he unabashedly questions, reaching for the drooling baby, smiling sweetly. “cause i’ll show you how it’s done. come on, matilda, we’re goin’ to have the best day! first, i’ll brush my teeth. hey, does she come with a baby wrap thing? like a sling or somethin’? you know, a piece of fabric you can wrap ‘round yourself and carry her?” he wonders, holding the baby in his arms as if assessing the situation. little feet drumming on his thighs, drool running down her hand and landing on his jeans. “we’ll show lucy gray how good we are at this, huh? yeah?”
last nights headache needs promptly washed away after she wakes and slides out of bed in her sparkly purple dress she still had been in during her last song at last night's performance ... that one billy wasn't even there for. no wonder he didn't know why she couldn't just have kids right now, he wasn't there to see what goes on. that asshole. that jerk. he was still heavy all on her mind right out of her sleep she was rubbing out of her eyes and into the shower. after stepping out, she's barely dried off when her phone starts blowing up, it's the covey group chat wondering if lucy gray has any advice on how barb azure's friend millie that lives close by who was at the show last night can watch her sweet little baby matilda since a problem came up where the dad dropped her off on her at last minute. course lucy gray felt sympathy and right away let them know there's no way millie's missing it for the world, she'll find a way for baby matilda... and then it clicked. oh, she'd definitely have a way. and what a beautiful revenge story the universe was workin' up for her this morning at the reminder of babies. tossing the phone back onto her bed, lucy gray digs out her swimsuit, a pinky peachy floral two piece she fights with getting on by herself, slipping on a flowy white maxi skirt over her bottoms and her 'b' necklace hanging against her neck where it always sits. with gold bangles on her wrists that match her gold hoops that always stay in and a faux flower clip to push into the side of her thick curls. 'course she ain't leaving to the waterpark without some makeup, even if she's going to get wet she loved a dusting of pink blush, painting her lips in pink gloss and some mascara went a long ways. that's all she has time for anyway before slipping on her sandals and grabbing her purse to meet them on their floor.
she's gone without billy even moving an inch, the motel door slamming behind her once she returns with a baby which surely is an endearing experience causin' her heart to swell. she's too adorable and she hadn't gotten to see one in awhile, melting all at the reminder what it was like to hold a tiny person. "hidy. you awake? wake up, darlin'," sugary words replaced with hard hits to the back of his shoulder once she's behind him, smacking there with her empty hand to try and rouse him and merciless at being non-sweet with her touch since her words didn't even mean it. the bangles jingling on her wrists gaining matilda's interest, "wake up, dad. cause that's what you are today. you're a daddy, NO TIME for sleepin'."
the baby is curled on her hip until she she moves her and places her down in front of billy, sitting down on the edge of the couch next to her to ensure she doesn't fall or he doesn't accidentally smack her off with his giant arm. millie is a dark haired girl with warm eyes just like lucy gray's and barb azure's-- and those traits have clearly passed down to her youngin' too since matilda sits up with her head of dark hair and her once big blues that are gradually shading over darker into big browns, staring at the new person with them as her hand curiously goes for his hair and lucy gray's jaw drops, "oop," escapes before her hand covers her mouth and she can't hold back the giddy giggles and laughter from the semi bigger brunette.
billy wakes up, feeling as though he just got dragged back from the deepest, darkest pit of hell. it starts before he can even open his eyes, that deep, relentless pounding. his face is buried halfway into the cushion, one arm thrown over his head, the other hanging useless off the couch. he groans, desperately trying to sink back down into unconsciousness. just as he’s about to doze off, there’s noise. door slamming shut. lucy gray’s voice. the smack to his shoulder lands solid, then another, bangles clinking loud as hell right next to his ear. he flinches hard, whole body jerking like he’s been shocked, a rough curse ripping out of him before he’s even got his eyes open. “fuck, alright, gettin’ up…” his voice is hoarse, mouth dry as dust, words slurring together as his hand comes up slow, trying to block whatever’s hitting him without actually seeing what it is. his face twists, one eye cracking open, red-rimmed and unfocused. he squints up at her shape, still mostly a blur against the light, trying to piece together where he is, what time it is, why she’s awake and dressed and… talking nonsense. dad? what the fuck? “howdy, howdy,” he lets out a dry scoff, dragging his hand down his face. “i’ll be your daddy any other time, baby girl. fuck, my head hurts so bad, got some advil in your bag? give daddy a pill or two and he’ll be brand new,” he babbles on, not realizing why she’s calling him daddy.
he rubs his eyes, blinks and… his brain stutters. confusion replacing the edge in his expression as he forces himself up an inch more, propping on his elbow. “what?” it comes out flat, voice laid with disbelief. not fully awake, but awake enough to know there’s a baby dangling in front of his face and that doesn’t make a damn bit of sense. not a joke, not some hallucination. a real, breathing, cooing baby. what? “huh?” the hangover don’t help none. everything feels delayed and unreal.“lucy gray? what the hell is that supposed to be?” a tiny hand lifts, reaching straight for him like she’s known him longer than five seconds. before he can react, her fingers tangle right into his hair, gripping tight. “hey, ow.” he flinches, reaching for her chubby fingers, trying to loosen her grip on his already aching scalp. “you serious right now?” his gaze flicks up to lucy gray for a second, searching her face for answers, then drops right back to the baby. “whose baby is that? sure ain’t mine. she yours? a secret thing or somethin’? did you find it on the street? call CPS or somethin’.”
“well you seem like a good man from what i’ve seen, so i’m choosin’ to believe that’s not possible.” chose to believe he’s good despite the flyers and the reputation he’s gained for himself by some actual bad people, so nothing could change her mind now. thumb brushes against his cheekbone, relishing in the way his smile reaches his eyes, and my… those are some hypnotizing eyes already. “want to be with you always too, darlin’.” saccharine voice coos, smiling sweetly at him moving damp hair from her face, long lashes feathering against her cheeks as she shyly looks down. “but not bad things you did maliciously, with bad intent, that’s different. don’t you think?” lucy gray questions, hand moving to cup the back of his head, fingers brushing through his wavy locks at the nape of his neck. “course he’s a good man and handsome, a good and handsome rabbit. must take it after me.” smiling playfully, hinting that’s how she feels about him. doe eyes pop open, face lighting up in ‘shock’, genuinely swooning though when arms circle around his neck and head tilts back in excitement, “now that’s perfect.” happily looking back up at him, “that’s the wordin’ i was lookin’ for. and why yes, yes i absolutely would love to be yours.” eagerly she nudges his cheek with her nose, hearing i love you in her ear and freezing a little at that part while chills roll up her spine. unexpectedly finding herself blanking out at that, unsure how to place why she wants to be his but terrified of the three words. moving her lips to his ear, she quietly returns, “i love you.” seems like the quieter they say it the safer it feels and neither does she want to ruin the moment by not saying it even her hearts pounding and she moves to rest her head on his shoulder now.
“couldn’t turn bad even if i tried to, not with a girl like you by my side. you keep me sane, lucy gray. you ground me.” it means the world to billy, hearing that someone genuinely believes his heart’s not a wicked thing. she must be an angel. looking into her big, doe-like hues, something tightens within his chest and he hears himself murmuring, “mr. riley is not a good man, i’m afraid. jesse’s made me believe that he and the gang, that they only rustle cattle, steal a horse or two from rich men who have more than enough, but…” he trails off, briefly wondering if he should taint a morning so nice with his worries, closing his eyes as she traces his cheekbone. hasn’t he just promised to tell this girl everything? “mr. riley wants us to collect debt from those poor farmers. that ain’t right.” mr. riley just wants to use them to do the dirty work for him. the likes of olinger and beckwith surely don’t care, but it’s eating billy alive. “i swore no loyalty to that man or jesse’s gang. only to you. now you’re mine and i’m yours, and we’ll be together always, whether here or someplace else. i gotta know we’ll always have each other.” he leans in and kisses her warm cheek, tightening his grip on her waist. “that is different.” that’s what he tells himself so he can sleep at night, smiling as her fingers comb through the curls at the nape of his neck. “you and daisy both, huh?” laughing quietly, his cheeks only continue to grow warmer at the comment. is she calling him handsome? really? “you’re perfect. my girl. i want to spend the rest of my life with you, watch every sunrise like this,” he coos, his heart pounding so hard and fast that it’s difficult to breathe, all ‘cause she’s saying she’s his and she loves him, too! she loves him, too! it feels like the kind of moment that belongs in the poetry books. the look on her face, the warmth of her breath on his skin, the touch of her hands, the words and the sunrise… he holds her tight, afraid to move and ruin the moment, only whispering, “i’ll love you for all eternity. think i’ll be carvin’ your initials on many trees, lucy gray baird.”
“why’re you bein’ like this? are you scared i’m gonna run away, so tryin’ to ensure i don’t by a baby? and my mind… my MIND’S already made up. i want to be a mama, but a few more years. i just wanted to sing first. why’re you so selfish?” feeling like she’s being guilted cause she won’t give it NOW, her hands flying to her temples, tugging at her hair. “we don’t even have a place called home yet and you’re sayin’ give me a baby now, lucy gray! cause we’re so OLD in two years!” he’s jumped from marriage and now a child? it’s crazy and it’s disrespectful then incredibly frustrating when she keeps reassuring she wants marriage and children but after this chapter. “i’m WHAT? i don’t think that! i don’t think that AT ALL. i’ve always wanted to be a mama, it’s sorry of you that you don’t even know that about me by now. i’ve always valued motherhood and i surely do think it’s beautiful, what the HELL are you talkin’ about? if you think letting me have my career first is so bad and don’t wanna wait just a few more years, i’ll just move on and have a baby when i’m ready with someone else then who respects it and you can watch it. you’re just a jerk throwin’ an entitled hissy fit cause ever since you became somethin’ on tv, you’ve came back with an attitude that the world owes you somethin’ since. you’re out of touch and lost part of who you are is what i think.” jerking his shoes off when she sees them on the couch, throwing them at his back before storming off, throwing her middle finger up at him in the threshold, “goodnight.” with a slam of the bedroom door.
well, is he? scared that she will run away if he fails to clip her wings fast enough? yes, his intoxicated mind admits even though his mouth refuses to cooperate, sensing trouble. he doesn’t think that his worries are completely unfounded. she’s done it before. a couple of times and on several different occasions, actually. he has every reason to be afraid of such a possibility. “like a baby could hold you down? i ain’t bein’ selfish, alright? i’m just sayin’ i want us to be a family and you’re actin’ like i suggested movin’ to afghanistan and joinin’ al-qaeda,” he grumbles, yanking the cushion from under his face and placing it atop his head to drown out the annoying sound of her nagging voice. “why’s that, huh? why don’t we have a home yet? ‘cause you ain’t serious ‘bout this. i don’t know if i can take you house huntin’. won’t you run from me again?” she always runs when things get serious. if she wants a house, she’ll buy her one tomorrow! it’s really not a problem. “i’m sayin’ you could have both! a career and a baby. many people do. you don’t have to choose,” he sighs, growing more and more tired by the second. his head is swimming and the couch is surprisingly comfy… if only lucy gray wasn’t yapping in his ear. “if i wanted to have a baby with someone else, i’d have already had ten of ‘em. i want one with you so don’t act like you’re gonna punish me by havin’ another man’s kids. we talkin’ ‘bout us here. you wanna break up with me again? waste more years?” mumbling drunkenly, he doesn’t protest when she tugs off his boots. using his blazer as a makeshift blanket, he curls up into a ball so his long legs don’t off the edge and squeezes his eyes shut. “goodnight, lucy gray! goodnight!” is she goin’ to that party? whatever. fuck that. he won’t stop her, he decides.
“not upset!” billy’s quick to protest, searching for a better word to describe how he’s been feeling about the ultimate rejection and this whole situation, but his brain is foggy with alcohol and can’t seem to focus. “just unsure where this is goin’.” shrugging as though they were discussing the weather and not the future of their relationship, he hiccups and adds, “‘cause it seems to me that we want different things in life. you say you want it all,” marriage and children included, “but later and it makes me want to freak out ‘cause how do i know you won’t just run away next time i propose? and where’s the magic in it if i’m just supposed to sit and wait for you to tell me you’re ready? i don’t want to be boyfriend and girlfriend until we’re gray and old, you know? that makes me look fuckin’ unserious, like i’m some indecisive prick who don’t know what he wants from life and is just wastin’ your time. angelina jolie has adopted half of africa for fuck’s sake and it’s never once interfered with her career, and mine’s nowhere near as impressive,” he mumbles, unknowingly digging his own grave and admitting that he hasn’t entirely let go of that humiliation ritual that was supposed to be a marriage proposal.
“we haven’t killed honey may yet so why can’t we live like this with a human baby? we have more than enough money to send a bunch of little nuggets to college. what are we waitin’ for? why? we’ve known each other our whole lives, lucy gray. are you so unsure of me? still?” he doesn’t understand why. yes, okay, he’d had that nasty phase when he dated a bunch of women but she was with country ken at the time, and possibly billy taupe as well, could she still be holding that against him? does she seriously never forget anything? he doesn’t understand the point of becoming a father if by the time the baby’s born, he’s too old to play with them. “no, you go. go have fun,” he mumbles, feeling like it’s only going to become another thing for her to hold against him in the morning. if she wants to go to the party, she can go. he’ll stay put and won’t embarrass her. “i do have fleas. my fleas and i will sleep on the couch,” he decides, shaking off her hand, walking inside on his own and heading straight for the couch, falling onto it face-first and deciding it’s as good as it’s gonna get. shoes and jeans and jacket still on, he doesn’t care at all. “i won’t ruin the bed with my fleas.”
"well, it's goin' one step at a time FOR ME. i'm tryin' to let my singin' career take off... i know you don't care but i do care. i'd like to achieve this first. just cause you've achieved your career, doesn't mean you get to be selfish and pushy." it's crazy, how he's bugging her for these things, and she's willing to have them. absolutely wants to be married and mother someone since she loved mothering.. but the way he's being pushy about it, wanting it now, on a different a date than her-- he's willing to ruin it from ever happening. just didn't make sense. "i DO want it all. you're frustratin' me, by claiming i don't. i'm not running anywhere but pressure and you lyin' to me... actin' like things are fine when you really have a problem still and drinkin' those problems down while ignorin' me at my show... that's the kinda things that make me want to run. that really is a kind of thing that angers me. i don't appreciate lyin' and pretendin' things are fine." it's fake. and she hoped she wasn't speaking for nothing, she hoped he'd remember this tomorrow. then again, she doesn't think even if he was sober, ANY of it would matter. he's still being disrespectful about letting her career thrive first.
"of course not, you're not the one who has to be pregnant. actually carry a child while dancin' and singin' on a different stage each night then needing to go puke." the anger thickened in her accent, her voice like gravel because he's just pissing her off now. she'd never seen a pregnant popstar before, people would think she was crazy being new to the scene. no one would take her seriously. "this is ridiculous. marriage is beautiful and special, but not the end of the world if it doesn't happen in the next year. gray and old? is a bit of a damn exaggeration." so stupid, she thought. he was working her temper higher and she was trying her best not to lose it. "i'm not unsure of YOU. only unsure of you when you act like this." grabbing the pillow off the chair, she smacks him in the head with it with genuine anger and strength held behind her arm. "no i'm not, asshole." throwing it again except this time letting it go, the pillow bouncing off his head, big freakin' toddler he is. she's not going, she's storming back to her phone in the bedroom to text barb azure.
billy refuses to move or as much as cast a glance in lucy gray’s direction, keeping his face pressed into the cushion. she’s hurting his feelings, accusing him of being selfish when he’s anything but. he’s a man. he could wait twenty more years to have babies but women’s bodies have a different biological clock. he’s far from being an expert, and yet that much he knows. he’s actually trying to help her out. “i ain’t bein’ pushy. i could take care of this baby, you know? i could take it with me on set. we would make memories.” and she could still sell out stadiums. plenty of musicians have taken their children on tour with them, plenty of female singers have performed while pregnant. he doesn’t understand why they have to wait and wait and wait… all he does is wait. “we’ll be forty by the time you make up your mind,” he grumbles into the cushion, forgetting that his boots are still on and getting them on the couch, trying to get comfortable. “i ain’t lyin’ to you, just don’t feel like arguin’ over this daily. i want a baby. i think i could handle it just fine. i try to propose to show you how serious i am ‘bout all this. and what do you do? you run. not literally but metaphorically… emotionally, you’ve been distancin’ yourself from me, lucy gray.” that’s a lot of words for someone who’s drunk, just goes to show how irritated he still is by the rejection and their different plans for the upcoming months. “you make it sound like it’s the worst thing that can happen to a woman when it’s such a beautiful thing. you could change your routine, bring out a chair and your guitar, give people somethin’ different. you don’t gotta be the next madonna, you know? or you can switch things up for a few months.” he genuinely doesn’t see why it’s such a huge deal. people would love some acoustic sessions, or so he thinks. “bit of a damn exaggeration, mhm, yeah, bit of a damn exaggeration.” mumbling, he can’t help but wonder if she takes this relationship of theirs seriously or is just playing with him. “mhm, i was sober when you broke my heart. ow!” wincing when the pillow comes flying and collides with his head, he hides his face deeper into the cushion and refuses to move. “you goin’ to the party?” he calls out, hearing footsteps and figuring she must be abandoning him forever.
TOM BLYTH as Alex Nielsen in 'PEOPLE WE MET ON VACATION'
well, now that he’s thinking about it, his heart racing and cheeks flushed, he realizes that he’s never properly asked. “ugh,” a heavy sigh escapes him, a rush of embarrassment coursing through his entire being and making his stomach twist and turn uncomfortably. “no, i — i haven’t properly asked yet ‘cause…” there’s really not a single good explanation for his behavior and now the only thing sitting at the tip of his tongue is the truth, and so he blurts out, “you’ve been through a lot lately and i don’t want to stress you out even more with labels.” and so he’s just silently claimed her as his. they’ve been sleeping in the same bed because it brings him comfort. they share meals and little moments of joy and troubles. they live like partners already. he doesn’t want to scare her away, and is a little worried about a possible rejection. “you tell me, okay? if i ever start to change, turn into someone you don’t know or like, you tell me.” chuckling when she tickles his chin, he tries to lower his head and kiss her fingers. “too fast. dad doesn’t like it,” he jokingly grumbles, frowning at the stuffed bunny. “i don’t, i won’t but lord almighty she’s so young, lucy gray. how come she’s got a husband?” stifling a laugh, trying to sound conspiratorial but he’s too amused to make it seem believable. “i could get used to this.” watching the sun rise with her, his arms curled around her waist and his nose buried in her hair. the sky’s still dark for the most part but there’s a hint of orange spilling slowly over the horizon. “now? what if i haven’t wooed this girl yet? what if she doesn’t feel the same, huh? what happens then? and i don’t want to push her,” he stresses, holding her tightly, nudging her cheek with the tip of his nose. “i don’t want to rush any of this. i want us to be us.”
a laugh emits, hand covering her mouth at all the embarrassment coloring his sweet face. “i didn’t mean it that seriously, it’s fine,” hand moves to place on his cheek, thumb trying to brush away the embarrassment. poor boy. “labels are just labels. just matters if what you say, is what you really mean.” she’s hoping for sure he really means it when he says he wants to be with her, too many have came and gone already in her life. parents, old boyfriends, friends. she’s growing a little guarded with her heart & faith in people. “i’ll be sure to, you can count on that. but i just hope i never have to because this is the billy i like,” the billy she loves & she doesn't want to see that change. isn't sure how well she'd take to that. “oh she’s just real youthful lookin’, but she’s actually about… 58.” she claims, amused smile pulling at her features. “well i think a proper question is a good way of wooing a girl. girls… they like romance.” lucy gray laughs a little, feeling the nudge as she looks to the open sky, “we are us.”
the feel of lucy gray’s warm hand on billy’s cheek only serves to make him even more bashful, his heart thundering in his chest, heat spilling down his neck. he watches her with his bright blue eyes and wonders how it’s possible that someone so perfect and beautiful has taken a liking to him. “yeah? promise? ‘cause i ain’t ever felt this way ‘bout no one before. i don’t want to let you down,” he mumbles, smiling sweetly up at her as she makes herself comfortable in his lap. “well, i’ve never been so sure of anythin’ in my life. i want to be with you. always.” cooing softly, he affectionately pushes the damp strands of hair from her face and tucks them behind her ears so he can plant a sweet kiss on her cheek. “the billy you like, huh? makes me happy to know that. ‘cause i know i’ve done some bad things.” and probably doesn’t deserve a girl like her. there’s a part of him that wants to tell her about everything that’s happening with jesse and his gang, but at the same time he just wants to protect her from all of it. “58? i don’t believe that,” he playfully argues, taking a closer look at the toy in her hands. “i think you’re only sayin’ that so i won’t be disappointed. who’s her husband? is he a good man at least?” wondering, hoping he’ll make a good husband one day but feeling like… he won’t live long enough to be a husband. in his line of work, it’s a rare enough thing, a man living to see his 30th birthday. “a proper question you say? well, in that case,” he coos, planting another sweet kiss on her cheek, “lucy gray, will you be mine? ‘cause i don’t think i could live without you. i love you,” he whispers in her ear, watching as the sun rises on the horizon, painting the sky a bright shade of orange.
“you’re mine and i’m yours,” billy hums in agreement, looking into these big, doe-like eyes of hers and losing himself entirely. he would rather die protecting her than let anyone lay hand on her. his smile growing, doubling in size and brightness, when she admits that she admires his gentle nature. he doesn’t take pleasure in hurting others unlike olinger and beckwith, hopes to never turn into them, hopes it’s impossible with a girl like her by his side. “and i admire you for… all of it, lucy gray. i was worried, you know? that this life would destroy who you are.” a sweet, gentle flower who loves animals and nature and wants to help people. “but you’re stronger than i thought.” he’s still sorry about her goat, knows she misses shamus and wishes he could get her a new one but they keep moving places, and would just have to leave another one behind. “that we will.” they’ll find their happy place and live there without fear. though, maybe he’s way too optimistic. “mrs? wait, what happened to her husband? i didn’t know she was married,” billy laughs quietly, waiting for her to get out of bed to follow suit. he puts on his pants and a faded green flannel, buttoning it up on the way. sweetheart. his heart keeps pounding, cheeks flushed. he’s a sweetheart!
“when did you decide that?” a brow quirks, deciding to tease him at the opportunity to even if secretly she was smirking on the inside & a mischievous sparkle in her eye even if she would agree— she wants him for her keepin’. “i won’t let it destroy me. but neither should you… let it destroy you.” the baird girl trails off, the worry of that sinking on her heart a little. “born to be resilient, i guess.” voice softly states, a little shrug of slender shoulders.
“she told me it was a secret weddin’,” lucy gray quietly laughs, stepping back to let him dress before following him out. slipping through the front door after tiptoeing through in her socks, the damp morning air brushing against her bare arms, her legs covered from the long white night gown. birds are barely starting to chirp and the frogs haven’t went in from croaking just yet— standing and waiting for billy to sit down first.
“huh? oh, i… well, i just thought that we were more than —“ heat rushing to his cheeks when he realizes that he may be getting ahead of himself here, assuming that whatever he’s feeling is mutual, billy wishes the ground would open up and swallow him whole. does she not feel the same way about him? “i won’t let it destroy me, lucy gray. i’ll always be the person i am today, the person i’ve always been,” he promises, absently touching his warm cheek. lord almighty, yes, she can definitely see him blushing. “who would have thought, huh?” that little birds could be so resilient.
“excuse me? a secret weddin’? our little daisy? daisy! i’m disappointed. how could you not invite me?” he slips on his socks and then boots, and follows her out of the room. he walks past jesse’s bed and catches up with lucy gray on the porch, thinking she looks stunning in this light, in her cute nightgown. how could he resist? how could anyone not fall in love with her? he walks up to her and takes her by the hand to the old, creaky rocking chair. he sits first and pulls her into his lap, strong arms curling around her petite frame. “so, are you not mine? and i’m not yours? how so?”
“you thought? but never properly asked me?” slender arms cross against her chest, playfully looking to the side. can barely figure out the blush on his face in the dim light, but clearly the bashfulness is there once lucy gray looks back to the taller other. she loved to harmlessly provoke an emotion, loved testing people, especially boys tryin’ to charm her and she always liked to make them walk a straight line. she was still figuring him out, but if he wanted to claim her as his, he needed to really show and tell. not just silently do it. “good, i’m holdin’ you to that promise,” fingers gently scrape underneath chin, and she means that, forever. “they grow up fast.” she quips, humorlessly smiling at his little charade about her bunny. “you wasn’t in the picture yet, so don’t hold it against her.” lucy gray takes his hand, heart dancing at being pulled along then enjoying her new seat once she’s sat on his lap. daisy rabbit sitting on her lap. “cause you gotta ask, you have to really woo a girl.” doe eyes fall down his face and build, like she’s contemplating something while lecturing him in the meantime. a little bit of thrill hanging in her tone and showin’ in warm eyes. “i’m waitin’.”
well, now that he’s thinking about it, his heart racing and cheeks flushed, he realizes that he’s never properly asked. “ugh,” a heavy sigh escapes him, a rush of embarrassment coursing through his entire being and making his stomach twist and turn uncomfortably. “no, i — i haven’t properly asked yet ‘cause…” there’s really not a single good explanation for his behavior and now the only thing sitting at the tip of his tongue is the truth, and so he blurts out, “you’ve been through a lot lately and i don’t want to stress you out even more with labels.” and so he’s just silently claimed her as his. they’ve been sleeping in the same bed because it brings him comfort. they share meals and little moments of joy and troubles. they live like partners already. he doesn’t want to scare her away, and is a little worried about a possible rejection. “you tell me, okay? if i ever start to change, turn into someone you don’t know or like, you tell me.” chuckling when she tickles his chin, he tries to lower his head and kiss her fingers. “too fast. dad doesn’t like it,” he jokingly grumbles, frowning at the stuffed bunny. “i don’t, i won’t but lord almighty she’s so young, lucy gray. how come she’s got a husband?” stifling a laugh, trying to sound conspiratorial but he’s too amused to make it seem believable. “i could get used to this.” watching the sun rise with her, his arms curled around her waist and his nose buried in her hair. the sky’s still dark for the most part but there’s a hint of orange spilling slowly over the horizon. “now? what if i haven’t wooed this girl yet? what if she doesn’t feel the same, huh? what happens then? and i don’t want to push her,” he stresses, holding her tightly, nudging her cheek with the tip of his nose. “i don’t want to rush any of this. i want us to be us.”