I often like to have conversations with myself, as many people do, and today I saw something that said something along the lines of "self care is a chore" The person then listed off things such as long walks, cooking, reading, and all this sort of such that they find to be a chore to do for themselves. At the end of it all they said I'm either working for someone else or I'm lying in bed with my phone. Someone then replied in an uplifting tone "sometimes self care is phone in bed" This utterly confused me, because 1, that's like saying going out back and smoking is self care, and 2, self care consists of actual genuine improvement. either in hygiene, or health, or in life quality. Health is a very funny thing. We have overmedicalized it. We constantly think that life is something we wait for, and so we prep for it every day, by eating better, cleaning our teeth, showering, working out, but quite honestly what is the point if you won't leave your house that day. Just lying in bed, or sitting on the couch. Here's the thing, it doesn't matter how many depression meds you take, how much Adderall you're on, how low your blood pressure gets. It will not change the fact that all you have to look for at the end of your work day, is an empty bed, and few more dollars. It is hard as hell right now, many of us can barely afford an apartment. However this point I will concede to the boomers, that is not a reason to give up. It is hard, we all have it hard in some of our most formative years as humans, but no amount of letting this world kick you around is going to make that better. No amount of blaming, or hatred, or giving up, or waiting will make that better. You sometimes just have to grab life by the balls, and just go crazy. Something that person failed to mention was hobbies, and friends. Just the basics. Maybe you like reading, or cooking, or walking, or looking outside. If you don't, don't force yourself to like it just because that's "self care." If you have to force yourself to, then it's not. I'm sure though you have something, or you can try to find something that you enjoy. Not that you'll enjoy in 10 years. That you'll enjoy now. What do you care about? If you don't have an answer, then start exploring. You have time. And yes you will have to do hard things. A direct quote from a military survival manual from 1970 talking about what to do when you're alone, behind enemy lines. "Value living. Hope and a real plan for escape reduce your fear and make your chances of survival better. Just beginning to plan his escape to friendly forces made this soldier feel better: 'I went outside one time and saw a powerful search light from a distance. I realized this was friendly forces. Immediately I transferred all my thoughts from my personal miseries to escape plans and began to feel better.'" If even the United States Military, (from 1970!) can recognize the importance of having a purpose. Then I'm certain you can too. Again if you don't feel like you have a purpose, then shorten your scale, to just the day. What you want to accomplish. If you don't accomplish it, then don't worry you have tomorrow. Always remember though that today comes first. If you have work you hate, talk to your co-workers, they probably hate it too. If you feel like lying in bed all day, maybe switch to the couch instead. Or hell make your bed so you can lie down in a nice clean bed. Maybe do that one hobby you've put off for a little bit, and just do something simple with it. If you can't easily interact with your hobby, watch someone else, either as a show or on YouTube. If you are still struggling to find a reason, talk with friends, family, maybe they can help you find one. If not they'll hopefully make you feel better. If you are struggling to get by each day, don't worry, if you have that spark, that will to do something you can make it. Don't worry about right, or wrong, if you don't want to be in college, then why are you there?
If you can't find any good reason, then leave. If it's for a better easier life in your mind, then stay, but don't forget about you as you are now. Take care of yourself. And if you find it so completely impossible, as if there is no hope. You might just be depressed, and it might be a good idea to figure out how to help yourself. All in all it is important to live life. Letting life live you is the largest hole we all fall in to, but we can get out. It's not worthless. You are not worthless. You are worth what you believe you are. Have a good day, and for the love of god at least make your bed, so you can say you did something that day.
