look beneath the skin

my SpIn is spinning autistic, queer, she/her

[growingupautie]

Q: Nathan. Autism Speaks is changing and is calling for inclusivity and Kindness. They even changed their logo…Why are you and other Autistic people still against them?

A: For the same reason you leave an abusive ex even when they proclaim they’ve changed or at least promise to. Except we didn’t choose to be in this relationship. They showed up one day hurling hate speech and fear-mongering about us at our parents and convincing people they spoke for us because we “didn’t have a voice.”

Well, many of us are adults now, and many of us adults have advocacies that do speak for us and have for a long time.

And what we've seen is a continued campaign of fear-mongering and hate speech, while silencing #ActuallyAutistic people who disagree with them about their continued efforts to "cure us" through abusive treatments like ABA which cause PTSD, self-hatred, and teaches compliance that leads to being victimized.

Their fear-mongering has even led to thousands of parents trusting quack cures like bleach enemas, and worse to "save their children from the dreaded Autism."

And their "new logo" appropriates our "Light it up Gold," and "Red Instead" campaigns and the spectrum of colors that we started to distance ourselves from "The Light it Up Blue" campaign. A campaign that they created to continue raising money through fear-mongering.

So no. Not only are we not impressed, but we are also actually pretty pissed off that they would co-opt OUR movements that were created to spite them. They only thing they didn't steal is the infinity symbol.

Not to mention there are no Autistic members on their board, and the one member they did hire, quit shortly after, after being ignored and talked over the entire time.

Lastly...And most importantly. This is where it all started. This is where they came from. And regardless of "changes" and calls for "kindness" and "inclusivity." This video is what I will always remember.

Link to video: https://youtu.be/9UgLnWJFGHQ

“I am Autism...I'm visible in your children, but if I can help it I'm invisible to you until it's too late...

I know where you live...and guess what? I live there too...I hover around all of you...I know no color barrier...no religion...no morality...no currency...I speak your language fluently...and with every voice, I take away I acquire yet another language...

I work very quickly...I work faster than pediatric aids, cancer, and diabetes combined...And if you're happily married...I will make sure that your marriage fails...Your money will fall into my hands and I will bankrupt you for my own self-gain. I don't sleep. So I make sure that you don't either...

I will make it virtually impossible for your family to easily attend a temple...birthday party...a public park without a struggle...without embarrassment...without pain...You have no cure for me...Your scientists don't have the resources...and I relish their desperation...Your neighbors are happier to pretend I don't exist...Of course until...It's their child...

I am Autism…I have no interest in right or wrong...I derive great pleasure out of your loneliness.

I will fight to take away your hope...I will plot to rob you of your children and your dreams...I will make sure that every day you wake up...you will cry...wondering who will take care of my child after I die...And the truth is...I'm still winning...and you are scared...and you should be...

I Am Autism…You ignored me...That was a mistake...” -Autism Speaks Commercial

Now how the hell is this supposed to make us feel? I don't care when it came out, or the fact that they deleted it. Are we supposed to let a group who put something like this together speak for our people? #NoThanks #ICanSpeakForMyself #DontChangeJustLeave

-Nathan Alan McConnell

[autie-j]

Also you can't claim that Autism $peaks has changed when we have active evidence that they are still pulling their signature brand of ableism. Their new 100 Day Kit, a resource intended for parents of newly diagnosed autistic children is pushing resources that further stigma about autism and encourages parents to view us as burdens. It says things like “When you find yourself arguing with your spouse… be careful not to get mad at each other when it really is the autism that has you so upset and angry”. It encourages families to view autism as a terrible disease that their child can recover from. It pushes psuedo scientific "autism diets". And it tells parents how to go through the five stages of grief after a diagnosis, as if their child has died. The 100 Day Kit is so bad that ASAN (Autistic Self Advocacy Network) had to pull their support of Sesame Street's Julia because Sesame Street refused to stop promoting the 100 Day Kit, even though ASAN's contacts with Sesame Street agreed that it was harmful.

So no, Autism $peaks has not changed one bit. They are still causing just as much harm to the autism community as they always have. And, frankly, I don't believe they ever will change and even if they do they still have a long history of causing harm to the autism community that other autism groups do not have.

[theconcealedweapon]

If you can understand why it's wrong for someone to wear military badges that they didn't earn, then you can understand what's wrong with cultural appropriation.

[squaredstud-ies-deactivated2020]

Self-Discipline Isn’t Always the Answer

So I wasn’t really taught to brush my teeth every day as a kid. So I didn’t. I got to be an adult and realized “hmm teeth are expensive I need to start brushing them” and brushing my teeth twice a day has been on my actual to do list every single day of my college career. It’s a habit I needed to build.

Have I successfully done it? Absolutely not. I’m pretty good about doing it at least once a day, but some days it just doesn’t happen. It’s not that I forget usually, I just had some aversion I couldn’t figure out, until last week.

I’m at the grocery store, in the toothpaste aisle with my roommate, and I complain about how much I hate mint. I FUCKING HATE THE TASTE OF MINT. The taste and the smell, any kind of minty thing in any form, I HATE IT. But literally every “adult” toothpaste in the aisle was some type of minty disgusting nonsense. And my roommate was like “you know you could like get kids’ toothpaste? You like bubblegum right?”

And y’all, it was like the clouds parted. I got some strawberry bubblegum kids’ toothpaste. I brushed my teeth with it and it was a whole new experience. I have successfully brushed twice a day every day since, because the mental block I had towards it is gone! 

I thought my lack of brushing was just a moral failing on my part; I was too lazy, too undisciplined, to build a good habit. But really? I just hate the taste of mint so much I didn’t want to brush my teeth.

This made me realize that when presented with a change you want to make, a habit you want to build, if you’re encountering resistance in yourself, you should lean into that resistance and really investigate what’s causing it, then work on accommodating that. 

Say you hate washing dishes so they pile up and then you’re overwhelmed by how many you have to do. Why do you hate it? Deep down, what about it do you dislike? Is touching wet food super gross for you? Try thick rubber gloves while you’re washing. Does the sound of dishing clanking together grate your nerves? Do them with headphones in and turned up loud. Do you hate the smell? Light some candles, spray some air freshener. 

Do these things instead of gritting your teeth and forcing yourself, then ultimately failing and getting discouraged by your “lack of self-discipline”

TL;DR: When a task is consistently hard for you, relying on self-discipline, forcing yourself, and gritting through doesn’t always work. Lean in and listen to your discomfort, and find what makes the task hard, then try to accommodate that. Also, mint toothpaste is gross.

[princesshamlet-deactivated20210]

im gonna watch dr. who in chronological order by the time period they travel to

[partywithponies]

The worst idea I’ve ever heard, I love it.

[elsinore-and-inverness]

Chronological Order below the cut

Keep reading

[lulagirllongago]

I've watched it forward and backward but never like this! I'm rather excited!

[thelatestkate]

Here’s the second part of mindfulness I learned in therapy that helped me to function after a breakdown. If you, like me, were taught growing up that some emotions were unacceptable, you may need to learn to handle them now as an adult in order to be healthy. All emotions are important indicators that are there to help you. Mindfulness 101 Comic °˖✧*•  Shop, Patreon, Book, Mailing List *•. ✧˖°`

[dimetrodone]

People horrifically fucking up facts about evolution and genetics too support their stupid beliefs or to seem smart and “rational” is probably one of my big pet peeves 

[bogleech]

Yeah. An enormous number of racists, misogynists, homophobes and transphobes I’ve met eventually whip out something about evolutionary biology and they never, ever, ever, ever have the slightest shadow of even a half-right idea what any of it means or ever cite a claim ever actually made by a scientific study.

Here’s a quick handy reference list or anyone who isn’t sure:

Homosexuality does exist in almost all social species.

“Alpha males” are not a real phenomenon and in fact the most aggressive males tend to be the least reproductively successful.

“Survival of the fittest” simply means that the success of a species hinges on how well it “fits” its environment. It does not mean that stronger or smarter individuals are supposed to succeed. Those things can even be a detriment in nature by wasting too many resources.

“Race” is not a biological concept. Someone who looks different from you has the same human genes, just a different grab-bag of dominant traits.

Evolution is not a march towards higher complexity, more intelligence or even more adaptability. It’s just a fluctuation of characteristics dictated by environmental pressures and mutation. A slime mold isn’t “less evolved” than a hawk, just adapted for success under different parameters.

People didn’t evolve “from apes.” It’s more complicated than that. We are a category of ape, sharing a common ancestor with the other apes.

No human on Earth is “closer” to an evolutionary ancestor than any other. We all descended from the same one.

Neanderthals were also a “sibling” species of ours. We didn’t evolve from them.

Some of us did, however, cross-breed with Neandethal man. It is exclusively non-African races, such as white people, who still carry hybrid human/Neanderthal genes. Whoops, sorry “white purity” skinheads, you’re actually mixed with a whole other species.

[beautiesofafrique-deactivated20]

Just had to reblog this because I am honestly so tired of people claiming that Africans are “less evolved” than everyone else 

[ash-of-the-loam]

My addition to the above list:

Epigenetics does not have anything at all to do with genetic memories. It is a thing that affects characteristics like health risks, and this speculation floating around about how phobias could be related to some ancestral trauma is complete and utter nonsense.

It’s only a matter of time before such a claim is used as another pseudoscientific tool in the arsenal of people claiming that bloodlines have anything to do with the validity of one’s worship of European pantheons. “My ancestors were Swedish, and because of epigenetics I have genetic memories passed down from those ancestors, so therefore my connection with the gods is better than yours!”

Just, no. Stop. STOP.

[idiopathicsmile]

gonna also chime in here:

saying the “male brain” works one way and the “female brain” works another way is ludicrous. for so many reasons, even beyond the obvious of imposing that tired old either/or mentality with regards to maleness and femaleness

occasionally you will read about how a study suggests that “men are naturally better at spacial reasoning” or “women are naturally better at cooperation”, but for one thing, given how early the brain wires itself and how easy it is to influence the wiring (like, disturbingly easy), and given the tremendous social expectations we face from pretty much the moment we leave the freaking womb, it’s impossible to study gender differences in a vacuum. 

like, do your findings prove that “women are better at reading faces”, or do they prove that, when you are part of a group that has been socialized since birth to be “nice”, to take care of other people, and to above all avoid making folks angry, you damn well have to learn how to read the room, and read it fast.

also, the “left brain, right brain” thing is bunk. there are not, like emotion-driven people and logic-driven people. everybody is primarily emotional. that circuitry is older and reacts much faster, and this is why nobody is immune from sometimes making wildly irrational decisions.

[bogleech]

I have had to deal with people in the past who almost religiously subscribed to the male brain/female brain thing and would constantly point out any little thing that confirmed their bias. It was fucking insufferable. It was patently clear they were ignoring the exceptions outnumbering their rules to go on insisting their traditionalist view has never been wrong.

[secondgenerationimmigrant]

This deserves reblogging every time

[lunasspecto]

The misinterpretation of epigenetics really pisses me off because the fact that environmental stressors can have a long-term impact on gene expression should motivate us to eliminate poverty, especially childhood poverty, but instead we’re using it to revive tired white supremacist myths.

[autistickeely]

Is it common with autism to get too attached to stuff you own? I have lots of clothes, it can barely fit into my wardrobes, but I use so little of it yet whenever I clean my closets I look at some shirts I literally never wear and think I might wear it again some day or I just can't get rid of it because I have some kind of attachment to it. It's really stressing because I don't want all these clothes and I don't know how to make myself get rid of it.

That’s definitely a common autistic experience. I become attached to random objects all the time like teddy bears, stuffed animals, clothes, blankets and pillows. If I go into a store and pick up a teddy bear or stuffed animal I have to buy it because I get attached to it. I don’t know why I allow myself to pick up stuffed animals in stores because I know I will just get attached and end up either crying because I can’t afford to buy it or buying it and taking it home to the hundreds of stuffed animals I already own 😂

For the clothes I would take out the ones you’re not wearing and put them in a box somewhere to keep safe. This way you’re not getting rid of them but they’re not taking up space in your wardrobe. I keep all my unused clothes in the loft and after a year or so I’m able to give them away to charity. It takes time to build up the courage to give things away but over time it becomes easier. Giving things away to charity is a lot easier to do than just throwing things away because you know it’s going to people who will get good use out of it :)

[lulagirllongago]

I highly recommend reading Marie Kondo's books (don't just watch the show). She talks about this and I've found her philosophy to be really soothing.

[phoenix-horineko]

Imbolc and the Konmari method

Imbolc is fast approaching. I very rarely do rituals, but I usually take the time to connect to seasonal energies by celebrating the sabbats in more utilitarian ways. I reflect on the greater meaning behind a holiday’s customs and traditions, and see how it reflects my own life and experiences.

For those of us in the Northern hemisphere (and in cooler climates), Imbolc is a time to mark transformation. its the coldest part of the year, and yet light is starting to return. the days are getting longer, and wild animals are starting to stir from hybernation. the cthonic fires of earth, represented by a coiled snake, begins to unfurl itself as life -and our own vitality- returns with the growing light.

Part of celebrating this liminal time of returning light and life is cleansing and purification to make way for the new year. on new years we made goals and resolutions. now is the time to start preparing to actualize those goals by planning and purging what is no longer relevant.

One of my own goals is eliminating everything that doesnt bring me joy. I recently read a book called “The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up” by Marie Kondo - a japanese woman who used to work at a shrine complex assisting the priests. she now works as “tidying consultant” and helps people simplify and organize their lives. While Kondo-san is not a witch, her work is incredibly witchy. She teaches us to connect with each object we own, and only keep what sparks joy and gratitude within us . By doing this, we learn to honor and care for the things we own (shintos animistic concept that everything has a spirit and purpose), and so loose the need to fill our lives up with junk we dont care about.

So for this imbolc, i wont be casting a circle. instead, i’ll be making room to let in joy. here’s a little snippet of what that is starting to look like:

[starskykarofsky]

[spongebob-autisticquestions]

I wish people knew that when talking about my disability with me, they don’t have to avoid using the word “autism/autistic”. It’s not a swear word. It’s not gonna offend me, I know what I am

If anything, avoidance of the word is going to offend me much more because it reminds me of how society views autism

[lulagirllongago]

THIS.

[mmmbuttery]

The 2019 ACA (Affordable Care Act) enrollment period has been shortened from 90 days to 45 days (November 1-December 15, 2018) and the advertising budget to promote open enrollment has been slashed in an effort to sabotage the program. You’re probably not seeing a lot of advertising (read: zero) about the enrollment window online or on TV. 

https://www.healthcare.gov/

[deideideidah-deactivated2023031]

That autistic feel when

You’re not a perfectionist, but people say you are. But things don’t have to be perfect, they just have to be correct. They can be imperfect, they just can’t be “”wrong””

[lulagirllongago]

Oh my god I had never put it into words but this makes SO MUCH SENSE.

[catchymemes]

[spaceshipsandpurpledrank]

[rainboflg]

Bitch cold cocked a SEAL…

[lulagirllongago]

Teal'c

Christopher Judge is a goddamn master of micro expression and if you claim otherwise I'll have to fight you.

[elevine26]

Reblog if going nonverbal is acceptable (temporarily or not).

I’m trying to prove a point.

[lulagirllongago]

Acceptable forever!

[lulagirllongago]

Amy Acker is the prettiest crier ever.

[butterflyinthewell]

For autistic people who are having a hard time right now...

Hey, you. Yeah, you, the person having a meltdown or a shutdown right now.

This is a message from one autistic person to another. Hear me out. I’m an autisic adult– I’m 36 years old (as of July 2016) and I’ve been through some things. Maybe some of them are things you’re going through right now. Maybe some of them are things I’ll never understand, but that doesn’t make your experience invalid.

Hey, I know. I care. Listen.

You’re not a failure. I know you’re trying. A mucked up routine, a new environment, too much sensory stuff, anxiety, sudden responsibilities, deaths in the family, abusers, bullies, abandonment, betrayal, people being mean, people invalidating your diagnosis, people invalidating your gender, people invalidating your sexuality, people invalidating your feelings, people invalidating everything, people telling you not to stim, people making fun of you, people not accepting you, people saying you make excuses, a society that thinks there’s only one way to be a person… 

…I know. 

Sometimes it all gets to you. And that’s okay. It’s okay if you go nonverbal, scream, cry, bang your head, yell, cuss, throw things, hurt yourself or run away. Those aren’t fun things to do and sometimes they feel like the worst thing ever because you can’t make your body do anything else. Having people yell at you to talk, act normal or grow up doesn’t help.

Guess what? 

You’re doing the best you can right now even if your best is to breathe. Don’t listen to people who don’t know what being autistic feels like. They don’t know you’re doing the mental equivalent of pushing a mountain up another mountain every day.

Maybe you feel small and useless, but you’re not. Nobody is useless. Society just likes to make people think they are because it’s afraid you will be better than it.

You’re not broken. You’re not a burden. You’re not a problem. You’re you, and you’re autistic. You deserve to be here. You deserve to be alive. Your life does not matter less because you’re autistic. Anyone who says otherwise is lying.

Now breathe in through your nose as deep as you can and blow it out through your mouth. Drink some water and massage the sides of your head. Tell yourself over and over that you deserve to be here.

I love you.

I believe in you.

I think you’re great.

It’s going to be okay.