I’m the type of person who will try to comfort you through a mental breakdown while I’m going through one of my own.
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@lulitavanrooy-blog
I’m the type of person who will try to comfort you through a mental breakdown while I’m going through one of my own.
Remember
I like the top list best! Although, nefarious should be on there as well!
Interesting considering in a Facebook AO3 group I’m in, someone professing to be an English Major was criticizing people for using anything other than the word ‘said’ around a month ago. They kept saying that it was the only proper way to explain someone speaking and people need to stop using things like ‘admitted’ or ‘revealed’ when ‘said’ is the only right way. He said they were making things unnecessarily complicated.
They got buried by the backlash btw. Even other English Majors disagreed.
So, note for those who are not English Majors, and even those who are, just because one person says that one way is the right way and no other way can be as well, doesn’t make that true. Teachings vary as much as opinions.
@skelitzel this may be helpful
The rules may say that what’s said is “said”… but rules were meant to be broken~
@killyourstarlings
I like the top list best! Although, nefarious should be on there as well!
Interesting considering in a Facebook AO3 group I’m in, someone professing to be an English Major was criticizing people for using anything other than the word ‘said’ around a month ago. They kept saying that it was the only proper way to explain someone speaking and people need to stop using things like ‘admitted’ or ‘revealed’ when ‘said’ is the only right way. He said they were making things unnecessarily complicated.
They got buried by the backlash btw. Even other English Majors disagreed.
So, note for those who are not English Majors, and even those who are, just because one person says that one way is the right way and no other way can be as well, doesn’t make that true. Teachings vary as much as opinions.
@skelitzel this may be helpful
The rules may say that what’s said is “said”… but rules were meant to be broken~
@killyourstarlings
#Nuffsaid
“Never judge people by their past. People learn. People change. People move on.”
— Unknown
Moon peeking through the leaves. No camera can do justice to this beauty. #beauty #nature #asthetic #UWC #moon #fullmoon #reslife #studentlife (at Eduardo Dos santos ResidenT)
Blowing out someone else’s candle doesn’t make yours shine any brighter.
Unknown (via thoughtkick)
WOW!
This shit be crazyyyy!!! Lol
WOW!
This shit be crazyyyy!!! Lol
i say “straight cis men are spoiled, that’s all. spoiled brats.”
my father bristles. “oh, so i can say the reverse of that? how would you feel if i called your entire gender something like that?”
like what? like bitch? like hysterical? like keep your voice down, don’t get crazy, don’t be one of those girls, come on, just say yes to me. like what? like needy, like over-emotional, like high maintenance?
i say, “i know what it feels like.”
he says, “men just want things and you’re pretending being denied those things doesn’t hurt.”
oh i know it hurts. but when i hurt, i hurt myself. i cut into the lip of my body and rip out all the good things. when i hurt, i blame myself. when boys around me hurt, they hurt me. come at me with fists and knives and screaming. trap me on trains while they shout names at me. lock me in the car when i try to leave. hold me down and ignore the begging.
i say, “it does. but, while women can be toxic and abusive, i find that denying a man something is like telling a spoiled child they can’t have a toy for being good.”
on my tongue are stories that don’t seem to break the pattern. stories i know other women have. men who wanted me because i was nice to them, men who wanted me because they were nice to me, men who turned equally quickly into beasts, howling about their lacking, how i owed them, how they could take advantage of me, how, like bread and water, they were starved of me. of course i should give in, how dare i let them go hungry, how selfish it was of me.
my father says, “when. there are tons of perfectly fine men and just as many bad women. you’ve worked in retail. you’ve complained about them.”
oh, yes. i’ve had my humanity dragged through the dirt by that-kind-of-haircut, by “speak to your manager”, by still-in-the-store-an-hour-after-closing. i’ve been screamed at and serenaded by swear words. i’ve had women look like they were about to pop a blood vessel.
none of those women ever followed me to a car. none of those women ever wrote down my name just to find me on facebook. none of those women ever followed me home, sniffed at my neck, told me how pretty i’d look naked. oh, i’m sure they wanted to kill me. but they didn’t make it about how much they’d debase me. it was a clean threat, a cold knife.
it’s a hard thing to explain. that i knew if these women went for me, it wasn’t because of my gender, and that made those threats differ. the same way that if they had been threatening me for being gay, it would have been scary. i was just in the wrong place when they hated me. they didn’t hate me because of my identity.
i clear my throat. “a spoiled woman wants what i’m not giving her, sure. but i can usually calm her down by helping and understanding. and we’re talking about the difference between being denied an object and being denied access to my body.”
my father snorts. “i think you’re blowing this out of proportion.”
there’s an entire group of men on reddit that we’ve just come to accept as thinking of women as objects. it’s not a small group, either, but what are you going to do. they write each other novels about how women are all animals who need to be controlled, how they’re “involuntarily celibate”, that we’ve denied them all. and how somehow, that denial is our fault. there’s been murders because men were mad they couldn’t have women. mass murders. serial murders. and so many of them were straight violence: not for the intention of killing, but of dragging out the sorrow of it. did you know rape isn’t about sex, it’s about power.
my mouth hurts. i tell him, “you should see how they act when you’re in a position of power above them.”
how they are when they find out a hispanic female got the job. how they are when it’s me, and i’m not even five foot three, and they know they can intimidate me. how it is when they raise voices over me, and sit on my desk, and come into my room without asking, and ask who i blew in order to get here, and ask to see my resume because obviously i was given the job for diversity and not my three years experience, and ask if i’d be their office affair, and stretch themselves to expand, like a balloon, filling, filling. how their voices pop, “stole my job,” “affirmative action is reverse racism,” “i’m going to bend her over one of these days and show her who’s boss.”
my father shrugs. “if it bothers you so much, stop listening to them.”
in three days from this conversation, one of my friends will text me that a guy pulled a knife on her in a bar because she said no. in two days from this conversation, i will have someone pull up my skirt. on the day of this conversation, three of my friends and i will get wine drunk and cackle over white boys texting and their dick pics and demands for love. when they say things like “you’re a slut and i fucking hate you and i hope you die” when she says no, we laugh. when my skirt comes up, i laugh. when my friend is at knifepoint, she laughs.
did you know laughter is a fear response.
to my father i say, “just watch. watch what happens when a woman says no.”
he shakes his head. “god, where do you even get this stuff?”
i want to live in a world where i got this from nowhere. where it’s just a figment. where i’ve never met men in the wild, only read about them, and their hands, and their ability to take things from me without feeling sorry. i want to live in a world where other women are confused about the accusations, haven’t experienced the same thing, or haven’t heard the same thing from the women close to them. i want to live in a world where it’s fake, because they treat us like it’s fake, instead of this giant open secret like a blood boil, pulsing, a shush of things we’ve learned to answer with laughing, a big burn mark we’ve all been through but is somehow not counted as scarring. i want to live in a world where i’m making up my experiences for want of them; where i’ve never been kissed or touched or groped without my permission, where i don’t fear trains and enclosed spaces. the world i see so many men live in; where it might be a concern on their periphery, but not enough to warrant attention.
“you’d see it too,” i say through his words, “if you just stopped and listened.”
Now this...
Sophie Turner talking about adult people waiting for the cast of Stranger Things in order to take their photos to then abuse them when they refuse.
Myths and false concerns about puberty blockers
Gender dysphoria is the intense, painful feeling that the physical sex of one’s body is ‘wrong’, resulting in the strong desire to become the opposite sex. A transgender person is someone who suffers from gender dysphoria, often from a very young age.
Puberty blockers, or hormone blockers, are used to suppress puberty in gender dysphoric children at the onset of puberty. They temporarily prevent the development of (secondary) sex characteristics, many of which are irreversible. This buys them extra time and allows them to make a decision about their body at an age where they’re better able to handle the responsibility.
“Children shouldn’t medically transition!”
A useless argument, because children do not medically transition to begin with. Cross-sex hormone therapy is not started before the age of 16-18 years old. For children, ‘transition’ usually consists of things like name and pronoun changes, clothing changes, hair style changes, changes in their social lives, and if eligible, temporary puberty suppression. These are all non-permanent changes.
“Children can’t make such a decision yet!”
Hormone blockers are not a permanent decision, it is the delay of one. Hormone blockers simply put puberty on hold. When the child stops taking them, puberty commences as normal. They are fully reversible. It allows them time until they can make the decision. This ensures it becomes their choice, not that of the parents or strangers on the internet.
“They aren’t safe!”
Hormone blockers have been deemed (relatively) safe by the medical professionals using and studying them. [1]
The choice for hormone blockers is about risk reduction. No medication is 100% safe. But in the case of a genuinely dysphoric teenager, who is at risk for, or already suffering from: major depression, self-harm, eating disorders, trauma/PTSD, permanent physical alterations that may result in unsuccessful transition and life-long gender dysphoria, and at worst, suicide – then hormone blockers preventing and reducing all these symptoms are by far the safer option. [2] [3] [4]
“Hormone blockers lead to a loss of bone mass, which will lead to osteoporosis.”
An unfounded claim, one countered by a study that followed 127 patients receiving hormone blockers, which concluded that the blockers had minimal effect on the bone mineral density, and upon receiving cross-sex hormone therapy was able to fully catch up to normal or near-normal levels. [5]
“Hormone blockers prevent the male genitals from reaching adult size, which makes bottom surgery impossible!”
This affects MtF patients only. It cannot be used as an argument to deny FtM patients hormone blockers.
It’s also false. Hormone blockers delay puberty. The patient can always choose to stop them and let natural puberty commence, should they consider that worth it. Secondly, this is not the only possibility for MtF bottom surgery. There are options that don’t rely on the enlargement of the male genitalia (or on its presence at all, if the genitalia have been fully removed). [6] [7]
“Hormone blockers might halt brain development.”
There is no evidence for this claim. However, there is evidence that hormone blockers have no significant effect on executive functioning (basic cognitive processes that help you memorize, organize and complete tasks). [8]
An fMRI-study in adolescents with gender dysphoria determined whether the performance on the Tower of London task, a commonly used executive functioning task, was altered in adolescents on hormone blockers. The study found no significant effect of hormone blockers on performance scores (reaction times and accuracy) when comparing treated gender dysphoric patients with untreated patients. [9]
“We don’t fully understand all the long-term consequences of hormone blockers.”
We probably don’t fully understand all the consequences of what administering chemotherapy to children might do in the long term either, and the late effects we do know of can be quite serious, but surely you wouldn’t advocate we let young cancer patients die instead.
When self-harm and suicide become realistic risks in a young gender dysphoric patient, hormone blockers are still the safer path.
“They’re not gonna die without them. It’s unnecessary.”
Puberty suppression leads to an improved global psychosocial functioning in gender dysphoric adolescents. [10] [11]
Generally people interpret “life-threatening” as “the body will physically die if we do nothing,” while suicide is seen as a deliberate choice. But the healthy don’t commonly choose to commit suicide, and if we took a moment to stop treating the long-term depressed as whiners, fakers or people who just need to do some yoga and cheer up, we could view suicide as the possible outcome of an untreated, ill brain the way death is the possible outcome of an untreated cancer.
When hormone blockers are the only treatment to successfully alleviate the depression and suicidal urges, we can say hormone blockers are necessary and life-saving.
“The body shouldn’t go too long without sex hormones.”
The Dutch model for transgender care, recommended by the World Professional Association for Transgender Health as standard procedure, recommends a maximum of 4 years on hormone blockers, giving patients until the age of 16-18 to make a permanent decision. Patients begin puberty suppression on average around the age of 14, and continue for about three years. [12, page 45] [13]
“Chemicals are bad!!”
Everything is chemicals.
You wouldn’t make this argument to deny child cancer patients chemotherapy.
“Children can’t know they’re transgender.”
Studies support the theory that brains are sexually dimorphic and there is a neurological basis for the feeling of being male or female. This helps explain why a person may feel male/female while their physical body is the opposite. The fact that gender dysphoria exists all over the world and can even be traced back in history, no matter the drastic differences in societies, shows that it cannot have a purely social cause, and current theories strongly suggest that, much like sexuality, people are born with a ‘brain sex’. [14] [15]
This is also reflected in the story of David Reimer, a biological boy who was raised as a girl after a botched circumcision. Psychologist John Money set out to prove that gender identity was taught, not innate. However, David never identified with his reassigned gender, and upon finally learning the truth, underwent reconstructive surgeries to become physically male again. David attempted suicide several times during his teenage years. [16] [17]
Children may be incapable of fully understanding the concepts of gender, sex and the medical transition process, but because of the biological nature of the condition, this is not required to suffer from gender dysphoria. Children are not incapable of feeling (emotional) pain or when something is ‘wrong’ with their body. Little boys found with sharp objects to cut off their genitalia due to the severe distress they cause them are not just stories, these children really exist. Hormone blockers provide them relief and enough time to allow them to make a decision.
“Children don’t even understand sex and what sexual purpose their genitals have!”
Neither gender dysphoria nor genitalia are inherently about sex. Genitals are a natural part of the human body. Transgender people can be completely asexual and still suffer from genital dysphoria. Genital dysphoria is not about the desire to have sex, it’s about correcting the feeling that the body is ‘wrong’.
“Children are stupid. One day they want to be a girl, the next day they’re a cat!”
This is a gross misinterpretation of the serious and long-term nature of gender dysphoria, and the pain and grief it causes a child suffering from it.
When treated right, gender dysphoric children are closely monitored for an ongoing time. If there were such drastic changes, that would exclude them from the diagnosis.
“If children are too young for tattoos, they are too young for this!”
Tattoos are not a necessity, medication where the benefits outweigh the risk is. The transition process for transgender people is not cosmetic or a fashion statement, it is an often live-saving medical need.
And while tattoos are permanent, puberty suppression through hormone blockers is not.
“It’s child abuse!”
Child abuse is ignoring the needs of a child suffering from sincere, long-term emotional pain and knowingly putting them at risk for major depression, self-harm, eating disorders, trauma/PTSD, permanent physical alterations that may result in unsuccessful transition and life-long gender dysphoria, and at worst, suicide.
“Children will grow out of it.”
Your data on how many children may grow out of it will differ incredibly based on the area you research. For example, the model used in the Netherlands
follows teenagers on hormone blockers through the years and ultimately saw every single one of them transition to the opposite sex, with none of them regretting it. Another article discussing the Dutch model states “I’ve yet to see one change their mind [..] because we’re using the psychological testing methods the Dutch have perfected, and they’ve yet to see one person change their mind. And they’ve run 100 kids through the treatment.” [18]
This clinic found that:
Gender Dysphoria may exist in childhood, but in only a minority of prepubertal children GD does it persist into adolescence. The percentage of “persisters” appears to be between 10% and 27%.
However:
Children who are still experiencing GD when entering puberty almost invariably go on to become gender dysphoric adults. [19]
A difference must be made between prepubescent children and adolescent children. The number that shows the majority of children will grow out of it affects prepubescent children only. Once gender dysphoria has persisted into adolescence, a child will “almost invariably” continue to suffer from it into adulthood. Growing out of it is no longer a common occurrence by this age, the age at which puberty suppressing medication first becomes an option.
Areas where statistics would show more detransitioners don’t automatically indicate a problem with the concept of hormone blockers, they indicate a problem with the assessment of who should receive them. It doesn’t mean hormone blockers shouldn’t be an option at all. A model that sees no regrets and few (zero may be unrealistic) mistakes is a real possibility, as the Dutch are already applying it. [20]
“I thought I was transgender as a kid, it would have been a mistake to give me hormones!”
The vast majority of these cases are about children who were gender non-conforming, but felt no distress about the physical sex of their body. Gender non-conformity alone, however, is not enough to diagnose gender dysphoria. Distress about the physical sex of the body and a desire to be the opposite sex must be present as well. The Dutch model for transgender care would not have found these patients eligible for hormone blockers. [21] This means these people were misdiagnosed. While that is a problem worth discussing as well, this has nothing to do with children who do suffer from gender dysphoria. You can’t use a wrong diagnosis to deny the rightfully diagnosed patients the treatment they need.
Furthermore, even if these children were given hormone blockers, the reversible nature of hormone blockers would have prevented any permanent damage. They too would have been given the extra time to make a decision, stop the treatment once they realized they weren’t transgender, and experience natural puberty as normal. There would have been nothing to regret because the treatment is reversible.
“Transtrending is a big problem. This one doctor/clinic hands out hormones like candy!”
Proving that there are doctors and/or clinics out there that use a faulty model to diagnose this condition doesn’t mean that the very concept of pausing puberty in the truly gender dysphoric is in itself wrong. The model used in the Netherlands shows that it is in fact possible to successfully diagnose gender dysphoric children and prevent such regrets and mistakes.
“It’s best to do nothing and let them experience puberty.”
You are not “doing nothing” when you deny a gender dysphoric teenager the option of hormone blockers. Forcing a gender dysphoric teen to go through natural puberty is also an irreversible, permanent decision that may have severely damaging and equally permanent consequences.
Puberty is puberty. If you are against parents “pushing” a teenager through cross-sex hormone therapy, you should be against parents forcing a gender dysphoric teenager through natural puberty as well. Hormone blockers are the only option that leave the decision with the person it affects.
Furthermore, understand that the Dutch model recommends that the patient has reached Tanner stage 2 or 3 [22] and be older than 12 years of age:
Some experience with one’s physical puberty is required because the authors assume that experiencing one’s own puberty is diagnostically useful. It is at the onset of puberty that it becomes clear whether the gender dysphoria will desist or persist. Starting around Tanner stages 2 to 3, the very first physical changes are still reversible. [23]
Susan Maasch, director of the Trans Youth Equality Foundation in Portland, Maine, states that:
There’s no way to make the child not feel the way they do. So the goal should be to help them be less afraid… Treating them with a safe, well-known hormone to temporarily prevent puberty has become a standard of care because it buys these children time and a measure of relief. [24]
The only real neutral option here is to delay the decision with fully reversible hormone blockers.
“I’m still undecided on where I stand…”
Good news. You don’t have to decide anything. It’s not your call to make. It’s not up to us to play doctor from behind our screens.
I make no decisions for these children either. All I advocate for is that the option of hormone blockers is available. I advocate for a medical model that takes gender dysphoria in children seriously, while still preventing mistakes and regrets. A model that allows doctors and parents to make the best choice for the individual child’s needs, while leaving any permanent decisions in the hands of the patient.
We don’t have to decide. We simply have to show some empathy and understanding for the pain these children suffer from, and the understanding that there are those that truly need the option of hormone blockers.
Infographic on transsexualism and gender
List of peer-reviewed papers on gender, transgender and intersex conditions
Collection of transgender studies on Tumblr
Quality of life in treated transsexuals
The Dutch model for treatment of adolescents with gender dysphoria (free download for in-depth article)
I know I’ve made comments in the past, but with the comprehensive information here, I have to say that my stance has evolved a lot. I really appreciate @myragewillendworlds for putting all this info and all these resources together. Thank you so much for helping everyone get a better understanding of the matter.
Fun fact: it’s not illegal for anyone, underage or not, to have a pastel colored blog, post pictures of pacis & stuffed animals, & identity themselves as littles. Regardless of your opinion.
Fun fact: it is illegal to tell someone to kill themselves.
Thissss!!!!
@leatherlacedbassblocklist @keeping-kinksters-safe @cglblocklist0 It is highly illegal for a child to call themselves a term which places them in am 18+ community. Cg/L is not meant for children and you are not welcome.
Source? Please educate me & show me the law that states someone can’t call themselves little. I’ve been trying to find it & nothing has come up so it’d be great if you could help me.
(P.S.) I’m not a minor but if i was I wouldn’t be “ruining” anything by simply being here.
1. Telling someone to “go kill themselves” is a. Harassment b. Bullying and c. If you are an adult 18+ saying this to someone under 17 it is also classified as child abuse. 2. If you really want to play that game, you’re about to lose. The term “little” followed by baby, girl, boy, darling, etc etc etc was coined by parents first centuries ago, and by bdsm not even a century ago. To claim it as a “kink term” is to define all parents for hundreds of years as sexualising their children, right up to modern day. No. Just, no. You have NO right to claim a word, or any number of words, with multiple meanings, and harass anyone using it. You want to play that? I am a parent. I call my daughter my little girl. No matter whether she’s 5 or 50, she is my little girl. Don’t you dare tell me it’s sexual. Don’t you dare tell me it’s kink. Because you are one sick bastard if you do. 3. A caregiver is just that; someone who cares for another person, whether it’s a simple “how are you feeling?” To having to care for their every need. Ever heard of a “child carers”? No? Well aren’t you sheltered in your little dungeon bubble. Education time; there are many children as young as 5 having to care for someone else; a parent, sibling, their carer. There are numerous reasons for it, but the biggest one is lack of SUPPORT. And they quite often miss out on a lot in life such as an education, a childhood, socialisation with their peers. Charities set up to help them as well as care services can only do so much, and in countries where even public services come at a cost, these children and their families have little to no access to the support they so desperately need. So, instead of harassing a child in your spare time, how about donating it to HELPING them instead. 4. Other than for personal, religious or some other reason, teenagers are dating. They are in a relationship. They have relationships. In any healthy relationship there is understanding, compassion, honesty, caring for each other. EVERY RELATIONSHIP SHOULD HAVE THESE. It is not just specific types. There will always be either equal amounts of give and take, or one will give (care for) more while the other is given (cared by) their partner. Again, it is NOT specific to certain kinds of relationships. The majority of people want to spend more time with one person than anyone else (whether it’s platonic, romantic or other). There is no dynamic. There is no kink. It’s a bloody relationship. 5. Stop. And I mean stop, mixing up littlespace with age play. If you want to engage in sexual acts while sucking a pacifier and wearing a diaper, that’s age play. Littlespace is about age regression, embracing the innocence of childhood again, majority for mental health, others as a stress relief. It has been used for YEARS by psychologists and therapists to help with trauma victims, mental health patients, and many other cases. 6. Because I know some dimwit is going to say something, here are my answers; A. I’m an adult. From what I’ve seen and deduced, I’m a good few years older than most of the people here. B. I’ve been exploring cgl and age play for about a decade, if not a bit longer. Which means that, no, I’m not a “tumblr kid”. I’m a documentary, explorative, information searching individual who has a damn fair better idea than most, as well as a better understanding. C. I have been involved in several chats and discussions with many people of the bdsm lifestyle, and a good majority of them agree to the differentiation between age play and littlespace; the former is sexual, the latter inherently not. Many of these people were older than myself by a minimum of 5 years, the oldest at the time being around 40 some years. Once again, ages I would gather far surpassing the majority here. D. I talk to many an individual between 15 and 24 currently, and I’ve yet to hear a single one talk about wanting anything truly kink related. No whips nor chains, no complete power exchange or dominance. Merely love, understanding, acceptance, and being themselves. If anyone is sexualising them, it is you. E. If teens want sex they’re going to do it, they don’t have to know a thing about bdsm to do it. They don’t need permission to do it. What they do need is education to keep them safe. Something that seems to lack in a lot of households and school curriculums. They need good examples of healthy relationships and how to spot warning signs. Again, something which lacks in the household and school curriculum, and (judging on a lot in this community) severely lacking in the general public. If you’re not willing to educate, send them my way. I’ll be happy to give them judge free advice. Then you can be happy in your bubble and I can be happy helping the next generation have a chance at a safer life. My points are made. I have no intention of further wasting my breath, and therefore will not be making further responses to this post. Thank you, and good day to you all.
^^^^^^^
There’s so much about “underage littles & nonsexual littles need to call themselves something else cuz its a kink term!”
No. If you think littlespace is a kink, you are confusing it with ageplay. Do not tell me I need to call myself something else, you need to call yourself an ageplayer & stop using the word little if that’s what you are. If you’re both cool, just understand that the two are not the same & refusing to see the difference is ridiculous. Do not push your kinks onto everyone else. Do not claim & adopt words because you’re too embarrassed to call yourself an ageplayer, you wanna make it sound cute & sweet, & then get mad when people don’t think of the word having the same meaning as you.
all i could add to this wonderful post was this gif
So much of this ^^^ This is what needs to be spread around, not little hate and block lists
Just gotta reblog this again😋😋
Everyone should give a second of there time to reblog this. Instead of reblog girls in crops tops. Just shows raw love.