Rujinu HC: Love Languages
When someone asks you, "what is your love style" you would typically think of the 5 types yeah? Gift Giving, Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time and Acts of Service!
Totally okay and all, but what if I told you, sometimes they blend?
While these two often still struggle with communication, Words of Affirmation are still huge for them. Words that have meaning, that cherish the value of what stands for them as partners. Not like "I love you" (despite the wonders of the word alone to be spoken) but more so
That alone is enough to be so genuinely comforting to them, to know that the other isn't leaving/they have each others backs in a world against them
Rumi is obviously touch starved, living a life where she kept herself closed off so long and her skin being the symbol of everything 'wrong' with her
So when their hands connect in secret in public
When they hold each other a bit longer than needed
Falling asleep next to him and able fully hold him in the privacy
It feels like the universe never made herself feel all that hatred of her own skin
As for Jinu? You'd think after so long of serving someone, he wouldn't
But it's not servitude in their eyes. Its him;
Sitting on the bed next to her as she sleeps
Making sure she has all the little things in her purse and replenishing them in secret so she isn't short of anything
Ordering her favorite kimbap on a hard day and eating it with her in the breakroom after a concert
Its cheesy to say but he does so much for her without even thinking of it as anything like servitude, but simply being there for her
And sometimes? It can switch
No love language is solely meant for one person selectively
Some days he holds her closer as she sleeps and finds that peace in just holding her
Other days he sees her ordering him some of his favorite colored shorts after they were messed up (helping her keep the honmoon safe
Jinu's main act of service always pertains to food.
Always makes sure others have before him
Always makes sure he has something to offer
It's all out of old habit of course; because he was so used to making sure his mom and sister ate well first, even if it meant he went hungry that day.
Despite acceptance, there's still depression
Despite understanding, there's still after-thoughts of the what if's
Despite happiness there's still days when it all gets too much, and Jinu is not surprised that on days like those that Rumi would hold herself up away from everyone. Old habits die hard of course, he could attest to that. He still runs on many of them.
He knows even with him, that she closes herself off, that communication is still a big hurdle for them both, though it's truly no one’s fault.
But where words fail, action speaks.
He knows by now what she's like when she's like this. How long she will stay in the same spot, be it closet, bed, or any of the many bathrooms strewn across the penthouse floors. How long she will go without a word or without even a sound. How long she will be trapped in her head.
Perhaps that's why he always would offer her a snack.
When he was alive, the first time he was anyways, food was a commodity few afforded. But when you could, it was an instant relief of the pains of the days. It made your day better, made you more willing to keep going despite everything. Even if all it was was a piece of bread. It's not really the same much now, in this new age. Everywhere you look there's food. But Jinu still remembers how it made people happy back in his day, so to say old habits die hard would be an understatement, whenever he saw Rumi look just as depressed as those from his old life.
Rumi is so used to people trying to get her to talk, to get her to force the words out of her dry throat.
It never worked. It always just made her feel miserable
But imagine her surprise, when Jinu out of the blue tries something different
But it always comes as a shock to her regardless, when he would slowly slide up to her, practically like a dog exposing his throat and belly to her, and slide a small package of something next to her as close as he could do without actually trying to disturb her.
She remembers the first time he ever did it
How she looked at him perplexed, and all he did in return was give that stupid sheepish lil grin he always had whenever words failed him and he was forced to try charm instead
damn him for knowing how much that worked on her
because he would get her smile
because he would get her to chuckle
because he would get her to eat with seemingly no effort at all
and maybe the food would be just good enough that for a moment Rumi might forget just for a second why she was so sad
and maybe she in return would share a piece with him and as they would eat they would conversate. Slow and steady, but with heart and souls attached
and maybe. . .at moments like these, ones that bring him back during the time before he ruined everything, where things as simple as rice and bread would bring a smile to his mom and sisters faces, Jinu really kicks himself in his own ass.
because what would have happened if he just waited. . .and much like with Rumi, gave time a chance to change things
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