Travis really has that 'terrible ways to express delicate feelings' thing on the nose, vibe like no other, I can't even put him in the brooding man category. He's on a whole new level of emotionally constipated. He has his own category, even. Man's straight up not communicating. He has no idea what he's doing or how to do it and not willing to do it. He's trying SO. HARD. to get the words out and always something completely different comes out of his mouth, so he seems like he just gave up on saying anything. He'd just go and say something stupid again, he thinks.
The only thing that actually gives us insight into his true intentions is his action. That might sound obvious but his case is even more extreme. Not his tone, attitude, or behavior. What he actually ends up doing, matters. He treats people like he's being paid to tolerate their existence, but really he wants everyone to survive the night. He refuses to kill until he almost gets murdered himself. Willing to plead and die if it means the curse is broken. Takes his job seriously and actually does his job even though some fresh hell is breaking loose every month in his family property.
He wants things to be better, he wants to be better, he tries, fails, tries again, fails, keeps failing, keeps trying.
His actions are the reflection of who he is, and maybe the entirety of the quarry plot wouldn't have happened if Travis explained everything from the beginning, but that is not who he is, or how he works.
What is the first thing we see him doing when the game starts. He wordlessly appears from darkness. He says, "Roll it down." A silent approach followed by a command. Because he's a cop, but also because he's Travis. He's relying on cop persona to scare them off, but also because it's so much easier to talk to people when he's following the protocol and police training. He learned how to do that. He never learned to express how he feels(see Constance. You don't learn communication from a parent like that), which is often a two-way conversation rather than what he's familiar with, which is either him talking to someone or someone talking to him, just tossing words at the other. Not a ping-pong or catchball of thoughts and opinions, just saying whatever needs to be said or staying silent while the other is talking. Like when he talks to people as a cop or listens to what ma's saying to him.
He also doesn't expect people to understand him or that they'd want to understand him. At all. He doesn't even try because what good is it. He's a mess, it's no use. He just keeps being cryptic and an asshole because what else would people expect from him. He was absolutely convinced that Laura wouldn't believe the werewolf situation unless she saw it herself. Never had any hope that she'd just take his words for it or that a photo would suffice. He's caught off-guard when Laura's compliant because why the hell is she listening to him. What. Then he drunkenly yammers on about some vague metaphor on the shit situation his family found themselves in, his pathetic attempt at trying to explain what's happening and his feelings about it for the first time, while Laura's reading an honestly embarrassing poem about the werewolf myth of all things that HE gave her, all the while waiting for her to reach for his gun and listening very intently on how close her voice gets to know when she's approaching, but huh. She didn't take the gun. What the hell. Is she actually taking this seriously. Was she really listening to what he was saying?
Then he actually considers teaming up with her. Before she pulls the ultimate jailbreak move on him.
This man. Is so lonely. Soooo isolated. So psychological disconnected from the emotional frequency between people. He's not an island, he's not locked up in some cage, he is in the well. No one can see him and he can see no one. It's so deep down all his shouts don't reach the surface. No one's coming, no way out, no end but death.(Thank you Leucas for the well jail inspiration)
He can't tell anyone else about his or his family's situation. He absolutely cannot will not kill someone and doesn't want anyone to die but his family keeps killing people. He knows they should be in jail but doesn't want Chris or kids to get locked up in some government facility and vivisected. He wants to die for everything he did and didn't and couldn't do. He cannot die with everyone relying on him. It's been 6 years of no progress and looking like it's just how it is now.
He was, from the moment I saw him, and still is, the most perfect blorbo I've had in my blorbo inventory. He's just so interesting. His character, that heavily flawed, mismatched puzzle pieces of brick cube that is his brain, I keep picking it apart and putting it back together while I write him. He's exactly the type of blorbo I want to collect and make me dive headfirst into that fandom. I like other characters from all the different fandoms too but Travis gets thrown into 'Just My Type' pit. I love him so much I will DO UNIMAGINABLE THINGS TO HIM IN MY FIC-
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