cw: younger reader, implied threesome, humiliation if you squint
finished watching gary and the bear s5 and now i can't stop thinking about richie and mikey sharing fem!reader...
the two of them are older than you, but it comes across in different ways. richie is real sweet with you. he loves to be gentle and treat you so well because you're just so young and pretty and needy for him. he's always telling you how well you're taking him when he fucks you. he'll hush you and feed you little 'i know, honey, i know's while he presses tender kisses against your temple, as you whine and babble because he's just so big.
mikey on the other hand loves to get a little mean and condescending with it, mocking you when you struggle to take him and telling you how wrong it is for you to be pining over a pair of grown men who could easily be your father. you hate how much you can feel the heat grow between your thighs when he brings it up. the two of them will be sitting either side of you on the couch, mikey on your left and richie on your right. mikey is nuzzled in his corner with his arm thrown across the arm rest, watching you with your legs hooked over richie's as he gently strokes your right thigh. when mikey lets out a sharp laugh, you and richie turn to look at him. richie knows mikey is about to start up, but you're oblivious.
'look at the two of you all cozyin' up over there. you comfy, baby? you like having that old man feeling you up, don't you?'
suddenly your face heats up with embarrasment, and you turn away into richie's chest.
'mikey, c'mon...' richie tuts. he's ashamed at the way his dick twitches in his pants.
'no no no, she likes it, cousin. how much you wanna bet she's soaking through her panties right now?'
mikey is half talking to richie, half to you, and it's having an effect on the pair of you. you can feel the wet patch in your underwear growing, as well as richie's hardening cock pressing into you. mikey scoots closer to you on the couch. now that he's right beside you, his breath is warm against your neck. richie somehow seems even closer too, the two men sandwiching you in. mikey places his hand on your left thigh, cracking open your legs ever so slightly. slowly, he slips the hand down, cupping your clothed pussy; you know he can feel it pulsing and warm under his palm. involuntarily, you let out a quiet mewl, richie breathing out a low 'fuck' in response.
'look at her, waiting for one of us to take the hint and give her what she wants. but you're too nice to her, rich. you gotta make her say it. tell him, baby. tell him how much you want us both to fuck you right now.'
mikey berzatto can read you like a book written in a language only he understands. he knows when your lips twists and eyebrows furrow, when your hands flex, and your thighs shut tight that youβre trying to make the feeling of the pulse between your legs pass. youβve never liked to ask for help. itβs awkward telling someone youβre so worked up that you need a little assistance calming down, which is how michael learned to read your body language. if you wouldnβt verbally tell him, then you physically would.
clenching your thighs together and digging your nails into your knees, you try to stay focused on the television or the sound of the clock ticking. if you thought about to pool in your undies and how your folds were clinging to the cotton all because you saw mikey cutting some vegetables, the frustration building in the pit of your gut might force some tears out.
βhey, baby,β mikey pauses, his eyes locked on your frame as he sets the knife down on the counter. βwhatβs going on?β
heβs been trying to get you to say it. to verbalize when you need him. just a couple words, heβd say, just say βdad, i need helpβ and i got you, baby. when the time comes, you just canβt bring yourself to say them. maybe you start, a slow, βdadβ¦β
he waits a moment, smiling at you softly to encourage you. heβs got that look on his face, the one that essentially reads as βyou can do it. cβmon.β
when you choke on your words and end up shaking your head to wave him off, mikey turns the corner and makes his way out to the living room. maybe you canβt express your needs just yet, but heβs not going to leave you desperate when heβs right there to help. he offers some words of reassurance as he drops to his knees in front of you, fingers tugging your bottoms to offer a full display of your soaked underwear.
βoh, sweetheartβ¦ nothing to be shy about. sβnormal to get like this. you want me to help?β michael asks, knowing the answer to the question already, but still offering you control of the situation.
βplease, dad.β
βthatβs right. you just need a couple dad kisses, hm?β mikey hooks his fingers into the waistband of your panties, pulling them down your legs as you shift and shuffle to help him rid you of the wet fabric. big hands wrap under your knees as he positions you closer to the edge of the couch so he can get his mouth directly on your slit.
dad kisses are special. theyβre gentle and focused, tongue licking up and down the slit where he needs to clean up some of your dripping arousal. dad kisses focus on the clit, tongue circling and lips nibbling on the sensitive little spot that makes your hips wiggle, that tight sensation in your tummy threatening to burst. dad kisses make noisesβ sloppy and wet as his tongue juts in and out of your fluttering hole until he has to put a hand on one hip to still your restless movements. dad kisses donβt stop until you thread your fingers in his hair, crying out while your juices soak his beard and make his lips look hydrated.
cw: younger reader, implied threesome, humiliation if you squint
finished watching gary and the bear s5 and now i can't stop thinking about richie and mikey sharing fem!reader...
the two of them are older than you, but it comes across in different ways. richie is real sweet with you. he loves to be gentle and treat you so well because you're just so young and pretty and needy for him. he's always telling you how well you're taking him when he fucks you. he'll hush you and feed you little 'i know, honey, i know's while he presses tender kisses against your temple, as you whine and babble because he's just so big.
mikey on the other hand loves to get a little mean and condescending with it, mocking you when you struggle to take him and telling you how wrong it is for you to be pining over a pair of grown men who could easily be your father. you hate how much you can feel the heat grow between your thighs when he brings it up. the two of them will be sitting either side of you on the couch, mikey on your left and richie on your right. mikey is nuzzled in his corner with his arm thrown across the arm rest, watching you with your legs hooked over richie's as he gently strokes your right thigh. when mikey lets out a sharp laugh, you and richie turn to look at him. richie knows mikey is about to start up, but you're oblivious.
'look at the two of you all cozyin' up over there. you comfy, baby? you like having that old man feeling you up, don't you?'
suddenly your face heats up with embarrasment, and you turn away into richie's chest.
'mikey, c'mon...' richie tuts. he's ashamed at the way his dick twitches in his pants.
'no no no, she likes it, cousin. how much you wanna bet she's soaking through her panties right now?'
mikey is half talking to richie, half to you, and it's having an effect on the pair of you. you can feel the wet patch in your underwear growing, as well as richie's hardening cock pressing into you. mikey scoots closer to you on the couch. now that he's right beside you, his breath is warm against your neck. richie somehow seems even closer too, the two men sandwiching you in. mikey places his hand on your left thigh, cracking open your legs ever so slightly. slowly, he slips the hand down, cupping your clothed pussy; you know he can feel it pulsing and warm under his palm. involuntarily, you let out a quiet mewl, richie breathing out a low 'fuck' in response.
'look at her, waiting for one of us to take the hint and give her what she wants. but you're too nice to her, rich. you gotta make her say it. tell him, baby. tell him how much you want us both to fuck you right now.'
summary: even after swapping from nights to days, you just canβt seem to escape the inconveniently attractive night shift attending. then a ptmc night out, a sparkly dress, and a not-so-innocent game of never have i ever leads to dr. jack abbot making sure you can never utter the words βnever have i ever finished during sexβ ever again.
notes: i really hope you guys enjoiy this! it was so much fun to write and i just feel like jack is a little easier to put into silly situations than robby, so here i am torturing the poor man! i'm sorry in advance if the smut is kind of mid, i was fighting tumblr's block limit rule with this fic so i feel like i didn't get indulge as much as i would have liked, but still! i hope you guys love it, and please, please let me know what you think! (p.s. i think i mentioned the title was originally 'unaffected' but i like this one better)
warnings: swearing, alcohol, blushing, italics, jealousy, implied age gap, jack is a yearner, reader wears a "revealing" dress (but description is very vague and there's zero detail about body-type), mildly uncomfortable male encounters, friend!santos, pittlings chaos, garsantos mention, jack gets a little possessive, reader has long enough hair to sweep off her neck, and SMUT (making out, fingering, "panties", a tiny bit of dirty talk, unprotected piv, "good girl", and jack says sweetheart a lot) 18+ only please, mdni.
word count: 18889
Jack Abbot had never thought of himself as a jealous man.
Possessive, maybe. Protective, definitely. But jealous? Never.
He had never really had anything to be jealous of.
Until now.
Now there are far too many things.
Like the pen between your lipsβand the way you bite down just hard enough to leave a little dent in the plastic while you read through Danaβs notes.
Or Dana herself, and the way youβre looking at herβsoft, sleepy, warm in a way that twists something tight in Jackβs chest. The same way you used to look at him in the quiet hours at the end of a night shift.
Or your scrubsβGod, your scrubsβand the way they fit just a little too well tonight. Too tight in all the right places. Distracting in ways that are becoming increasingly difficult to ignore.
Jack has never needed to be jealous of anything before, but now he finds himself jealous of inanimate objects, coworkers you barely glance at, and your goddamn clothes.
So, yeah. Jack Abbot had never thought of himself as a jealous manβuntil you came along.
βDr. Abbot,β Dana calls, peering over the top of her glasses. βYouβre early.β
Beside her, you glance up from your tablet, meeting his eyes across the ER with that same soft smile.
βDr. Abbot,β you say, like you canβt quite help yourself.
Jack squares his shoulders and starts toward the nursesβ station, determined not to let Dana and her all-knowing, all-seeing bullshit clock exactly why heβs at work almost two hours earlier than he needs to be.
βYeah, Iβve got some stuff I didnβt get to wrap up this morning,β he lies.
Princess pops up from behind the desk. βI thought you said you stayed back this morning to make sure everything was sorted?β
Jackβs gaze cuts to her. βYes. But I forgot something.β
Dana narrows her eyes. βMhm. Whatβd you forget?β
βA few notes from the three a.m. GSW,β he replies quicklyβtoo quickly.
Itβs weak and he knows it, but thereβs nothing else he could think of with Dana watching him like thatand your warm, sleepy gaze still lingering from across the desk.
Dana nods slowly, adjusting the chart in her hands. βRight. Two hours early for a few notes.β
Jack just shrugs, avoiding her gaze as he walks pastβand he doesnβt look back until heβs safely around the corner, standing in front of his locker. Only then does he risk a glance, just briefly over his shoulder, quick enough to catch a glimpse of you disappearing down the North hall.
God. Itβs ridiculous, really. Heβs a grown man.
More than thatβhe's an old man.
Yet here he is staying late at work and coming in early just to see more of you. Because ever since you swapped from nights to days, Jack doesnβt quite know what to do with himself. Sure, he could barely concentrate when you were on shift together, but who knew not having you around would be even worse?
He spends the first half of his shift hating himself for being so hung up on someone so young and so impossibly out of reachβthen spends the second half anxiously awaiting your arrival for the day shift.
And itβs only been two weeks.
But the absolute worst part?
He doesnβt even know why you swapped shifts. You never even spoke to him about it. You just told him at four a.m. two Saturdays ago that you were switching to day shift. No reason. No explanation. That was it.
At first he wondered if it was his faultβif maybe youβd simply decided you didnβt like working with him.
But you still greet him every morning and every evening with that same warm smile. You still look to him first whenever someone asks for an attending and heβs still around. You still text him whenever the ER cat shows up outside the ambulance bayβwhich apparently happens much more often during the day shift.
And Jack still buys a packet of freeze-dried liver treats every Sunday to keep in the cupboard above the break room fridgeβbecause he knows how much you love feeding that cat.
βWhatβre you doing here?β
Jackβs head whips around at the sound of his friendβs voice.
βIβuhβcame in early to fix up a few notes,β he says, turning back to shove his bag into his locker.
Robbyβs brows lift. βTwo hours for notes?β
Jack sighs, slinging his stethoscope around his neck and shutting his locker before turning to face his fellow attending. βAre you of all people really going to lecture me about not having a life outside of this ER?β
Robby chuckles quietly, lifting both hands out of his pockets in surrender. βI wasnβt judging.β
βGood,β Jack mutters, already starting back toward central. βAnything I need to know?β
Robby falls into step beside him. βNorth Threeβs waiting on a CT for possible appendicitis. Kid in Five came in with chest pain but his labs look clean so far. Danaβs still fighting with bed control about moving the pneumonia admit upstairs.β
They both stop at the nursesβ station, glancing up at the board.
βOtherwise itβs been unusually calm,β Robby adds. βWhich probably means youβre about to get slammed.β
Jack gives him a flat look. βThanks.β
βAnytime.β Robby claps him on the shoulder. βOhβand that R2 you gave me?β
βWhat about her?β
Robby shrugs. βSheβs great.β
βI know,β Jack says, keeping his voice carefully even.
Robby studies him for a second, eyes narrowing just a fraction, the corner of his mouth threatening to lift. The man might be a disaster when it comes to his own feelings, but he has an uncanny talent for spotting everyone elseβs.
βWeβre alright out here if you want to catch up on your notes,β he says after a moment, already turning away. βOr go make the rounds. Get some very thorough handovers from the residents.β
Jack keeps his eyes fixed on the board. βI hate you.β
Robby huffs out a quiet laugh. βThen why are you here two hours early?β
Jack exhales sharply and steps forward, pulling one of the tablets from the rack.
βNotes,β he says, a little louder than necessary.
Robby just shakes his head, still smiling faintly as he disappears down the North corridor.
For a moment, Jack doesnβt move. He lingers at the nursesβ station, tablet in hand, pretending to analyse the board while ignoring the incredibly unsubtle looks from Perlah and Princessβboth of them watching him with the kind of interest that usually means someoneβs about to become the subject of a very entertaining conversation.
Then, with a polite nod to each of them, he clears his throat and steps away, turning toward the break roomβtrying very hard not to hope he runs into you on the way.
And trying not to be disappointed when he doesnβt.
The break room is empty when he steps inside, the noise of the ER dulling as the door falls shut behind him. He sets his tablet on the tableβnext to someoneβs half-eaten lunch and a discarded Lean Cuisine containerβand grabs a clean mug from the cupboard, pouring the last of the coffee pot into it.
Then he drops into the seat furthest from the door, his back to the bulletin board, and taps the tablet awake, pulling up the notes for the three a.m. GSW. The same notes he already finished in detail while staying back this morningβbefore Robby told him to get the hell out of his ER and get some sleep.
He barely makes it through two lines of the chart before the door swings open again.
βShit, sorry,β you say quickly, stepping toward the table.
Jackβs pulse does the same stupid thing it always does whenever he sees you, making his chest feel hot and his head a little fuzzy.
βWhat are you sorry for?β he asks, as if it isnβt obvious.
Youβve already stacked the Lean Cuisine container on top of the half-eaten bowl of something grey and mushy-looking and are halfway to the sink with them.
βI only got, like, a five-minute break today and had to run out for a trauma, then completely forgot about my lunch,β you explain, cheeks flushed as you glance down at the bowl. βThis is gross. Iβm so sorry.β
Jack shifts in his chair. βIβve seen worse in here, I promise.β
You glance over your shoulder as you turn on the tap, the corner of your mouth lifting just slightly. βReally?β
He nods. βReally.β
He could almost swear your smile lifts a little higher before you turn back to the sink, scrubbing hurriedly at the bowl of slop that probably shouldnβt be going down the drain anyway.
Jack clears his throat. βButβuhβLean Cuisine? Really?β
You look back at him again, brows drawn. βWhatβs wrong with Lean Cuisine?β
βNothing,β he says lightly. βIf youβre trying to survive a very stressful twelve-hour shift on only four hundred calories.β
You huff a quiet laugh, turning back to the sink. βI actually managed to eat lunch today. Thatβs already a win.β
βItβs mostly sodium and sadness,β he adds, almost absently. βNot much protein.β
You finally turn the tap off and spin around, leaning a hip against the counter. βAlright, Dr. Abbot. When I find the spare time to start meal prepping between my very stressful twelve-hour shifts, Iβll let you know.β
Jack opens his mouthβthen closes it again. Because what he wants to say is ridiculous.
But it comes out anyway.
ββ¦I cook.β
You blink.
βYou cook?β
Jack clears his throat, suddenly very interested in his coffee mug.
βYeah. Well.β He shrugs. βIβve been told Iβm reasonably good at it.β
You stare at him for a second, brows knitting slightly as you clearly try to figure out where the hell that came from.
βWell,β you say with a quick smile, βI guess your dinner guests are pretty lucky.β
Before he can respond, you grab the Lean Cuisine packet, toss it in the bin, and step toward the door.
βSorry again for the mess.β
Then youβre goneβleaving Jack alone with his coffee, his notes, and the growing suspicion that there might actually be something seriously wrong with him.
-
βIs that Dr. Abbot in the break room?β Santos asks, falling into step beside you.
You keep your eyes fixed on your tablet.
βYep.β
She leans closer, steering you out of the way of a gurney.
βBut night shift doesnβt start for like two more hours.β
βIβm aware.β
βSo, why is he here?β
You exhale sharply and finally look up from your tablet. βI donβt know, Trin. Maybe because the universe hates me.β
She snorts. βOr maybe because he likes you.β
You roll your eyes, turning toward the South corridor. βPlease donβt start.β
βIβm not starting anything,β she insists. βI seriously think that old man has a thing for you.β
βDonβt call him that,β you mutter.
βOkay, fine. I seriously think that hot, older man has a thing for you,β she says, stopping beside you at the South desks. βAnd we all know how you feel about him, soββ
βNo,β you snap. βWe donβt all know how I feel about JaβDr. Abbot.β
She presses her lips together to keep from laughing.
βBesides,β you go on, dropping into a chair. βI swapped to day shift so I could stop being distracted by my attending and actually focus on being a good doctorβso could you please stop distracting me?β
She leans a hip against the desk, completely ignoring you. βAnd donβt you think thatβs a little strange? I mean, you swapped to day shiftβwhat, two weeks ago?β
You glance at her from the corner of your eye. βAnd?β
βAnd,β she says dramatically, βfor the past two weeks Dr. Abbot has been staying back every morning and coming in early every afternoon.β
Your gaze slides back to the computer. βSo?β
She sighs, exasperated. βItβs not a coincidence.β
βActually, I think it is,β you argue.
She stares at you for a second, eyes narrowing. βYouβre impossible.β
βAnd youβre annoying.β
She rolls her eyes and pushes off the desk. βWhatever. Youβre still coming out tomorrow night, right?β
Your fingers hesitate over the keyboard. βUhβIβm not sure yet.β
βDr. Ellis is the only person from night shift thatβll be there,β she says.
You let out a quiet sigh of defeat.
βFine,β you mutter. βIβll come.β
βGood.β She grins, already turning away. βCome to my place around six. We can get ready and pregame.β
βWhy canβt I get ready at home?β you ask.
βBecause,β she calls over her shoulder, βI get to pick what you wear.β
And before you can argue, she slips into a patient room, effectively ending the conversation.
βGreat,β you mumble, turning back to the computer. βCanβt wait.β
Itβs not like youβre not looking forward to finally joining in on a night out now that youβre no longer on the night shift.
You are. Youβre just... nervous.
Nervous, perpetually stressed out, and still adjusting to life as a day-walker. And Santos knows that. She probably knows you better than anyone else at PTMCβeven though youβve spent the better part of ten months working opposite shifts.
Which is exactly why sheβs pushing you to join this night out. Because she knows you need it. She knows you need to relax, forget about work, and do something other than obsess over the night shift attending whoβs had you completely undone since the day you first met.
God.
Jack Abbot. The single most dangerous man in Pittsburgh.
Not only is he stupidly hot, but heβs also annoyingly competent, irritatingly attentive, and has the starring role in every single one of your most inappropriate fantasies.
Heβs also the very reason youβre terrified of having to redo your second year of residency, because that man affects your focus so much you literally canβt function. Like three weeks ago, when you walked straight into the glass door of Trauma One because you were too busy watching him take his jacket off.
His damn jacket.
That was the moment you finally decided you needed to swap shiftsβbecause Dr. Shen couldnβt look at you for the rest of the night without bursting into laughter.
Jack Abbot is a liability to your health and wellbeingβwhich means he is a liability to your career. And even though asking Dr. Robby to swap to day shift was one of the most ridiculously difficult things youβve done since starting at PTMC, you stand by the fact that it was the right decision.
The smart decision. The professional decision. Even if⦠it might not be working yet.
Because now you canβt just glance across central anymore and see Jack leaning against the desk, talking through a case with Lena. You canβt have him step up beside you when youβre unsure about something and quietly walk you through it. Heβs not the one across from you in the trauma bays. And there isnβt a coffee cup that magically appears in front of you during the three oβclock lull.
Now you just⦠think about him instead.
But itβs only temporary. Youβre sure of it. You just need to get used to the day shift and figure out how to get Jack Abbot out of your head.
Which⦠you have a sneaking suspicion is what Santos plans on helping you with this weekend.
Youβre pretty sure you overheard her the other day telling Whitaker that the only way to get over someone is by getting under someone else. And maybe thatβs exactly what you need to doβget under someone else so you can stop thinking about the maddeningly hot man whoβs nearly twice your age and most definitely does not have a thing for you. Regardless of what Santos seems to think.
You spend the rest of your shift catching up on charting and trying very hard not to think about Dr. Abbot.
When someone asks for an attending, you call Dr. Robby. When you hear his voice just around the corner, you change paths as quickly and inconspicuously as you can. And when your notes are up to date and night shift starts rolling in, you find Dr. Ellis and give herβand only herβthe rundown on your patients.
By the time you shut your locker and sling your bag over your shoulder, the sky outside is dark and there are only a few day shifters left lingering around the nursesβ station.
βDid you drive today?β Whitaker asks, shutting his locker only a moment after you.
βYeah,β you reply. βNeed a ride?β
He nods sheepishly. βThatβd be great. Santos left already, said I was taking too long.β
You roll your eyes. βYeah, I bet it had nothing to do with whatever she and Garcia were whispering about in the stairwell.β
Whitaker winces. βI just hope theyβre at Garciaβs tonight.β
You huff a small laugh and hitch your bag higher. βYou ready?β
He nods.
You both turn and start back toward centralβbut just as you reach the nursesβ station, his steps slow.
βDo you need toβ¦?β
He jerks a thumb over his shoulder.
You frown. βNeed to what?β
He hesitates. βDonβt you normally say goodbye to Dr. Abbot?β
Your eyes widen slowly. βUhβno. Why would you say that?β
He shrugs. βI donβt know. I just thought you two were close.β
βWeβre not close,β you say, a little too quick.
βSorry,β he mutters, raising both hands in surrender. βI justβI donβt know. I thought because you were his resident you two wereβ¦ close.β
βIβm not his resident,β you snap. βIβm justβ¦ a resident. I donβt belong to him.β
βOkay,β he says slowly, brows drawing together. βIβm sorry, I just thoughtββ
βYou thought wrong,β you mutter, glancing over your shoulder to make sure no one is listening.
Thankfully, the two nosiest nurses in the ER have already gone home for the day.
βLetβs just go.β
You grab his wrist and walk quickly toward the ambulance bay doors, giving Ellis and Shen a small nod as you passβcompletely missing the middle-aged attending who just overheard most of your conversation.
The car ride to Santos and Whitakerβs isnβt long. Whitaker fills most of it anywayβrambling about the shift, about the kid in Five and whether night shift is going to get slammed, about how Dana looked like she was two seconds away from strangling bed control by the end of the day. And every few minutes he circles back around to apologising for making you drive him home.
You wave him off each time.
βItβs fine, Whitaker.β
βSeriously though,β he says as you pull up outside their building. βI really appreciate it.β
He slings his bag over his shoulder and climbs out of the car, pausing on the sidewalk to give you one last wave before heading toward the front door.
The moment the passenger door falls shut, the quiet settles in. You let out a long breath, tipping your head back against the headrest and letting your eyes fall shut for a moment. And immediatelyβinevitablyβyour brain drifts straight back to the same place it always does.
Jack Abbot. Of course.
You scrub a hand over your face before shifting the car back into gear and pulling away.
The rest of the night passes the way most nights doβwith a quick shower, something vaguely edible scavenged from the fridge, and half-heartedly scrolling through your phone until exhaustion finally drags you to bed.
When your head finally hits the pillow, you tell yourself youβre too tired to think about him. Itβs been a long dayβlong weekβand all you need right now is sleep, not fantasies.
But that doesnβt stop your brain from doing it anyway. Because sometime in the early hours of the morning, Jack Abbot shows up in your dreams. Not in the ER. Not standing beside you at the nursesβ station or leaning over a chart.
Heβs in a kitchen. Cooking.
Sleeves rolled up to his elbows, moving around the stove with the same quiet confidence he carries through the hospitalβlike he knows exactly what heβs doing and expects the rest of the world just to trust him.
And in the dream, you do.
You lean against the counter and watch him the way you sometimes watch him in the trauma bays, telling yourself youβre just observing. Just curious. Just learning.
He glances over his shoulder eventually, catching you staringβand says something you canβt quite hear over the soft clatter of the pan. But heβs smiling.
Then the dream shifts the way dreams tend toβlogic slipping sideways until suddenly youβre standing much closer than you should be. Close enough to smell whatever heβs cooking. Close enough that when he turns toward you the space between you disappears entirely.
His hand settles at your waist like it belongs there.
Your back meets the edge of the counter.
And when his mouth brushes your neckβ
You wake with a sharp inhale, staring up at the ceiling, heart racing.
βFuck,β you mutter, dragging a hand over your face.
So much for getting him out of your head.
For a while, you just lie there, staring at the ceiling, watching the first pale line of sunlight creep across until it touches the wall opposite your window.
At some point you realise youβre still replaying the dream in your head.
The kitchen. The way his hand had felt at your waist. The warmth of his mouth against your neck.
You groan quietly and drag the blanket over your face.
βGet a fucking grip.β
Then you throw the covers back and force yourself out of bed, heading straight into the kitchen in search of coffee.
Your small apartment is always quietβbut this morning it feels too quiet. Too still as you silently sip your coffee, one hip leaned against the kitchen counter. Which, unfortunately, leaves far too much room for your brain to wander right back to its favourite topic.
Jack Abbot.
After coffee, you take yourself for a long walk around the block, hoping the cool morning air might help clear the remnants of the dream from your head.
It doesnβt.
But by the time you make it back to your apartment, your legs feel loose and your mind feels a little quieter, and for the briefest moment you almost manage to convince yourself that youβre excited about tonight. That youβre going to be able to do what Santos is clearly angling for and go home with an attractive stranger so you can stop draining your vibrator battery with inappropriate thoughts of your attending.
The rest of the day drifts past in a slow blur of small, forgettable things. Laundry. Answering a couple of messages in the group chat. Half-heartedly reviewing a few notes from earlier in the week before deciding you absolutely refuse to think about work on your day off.
Eventually the afternoon light begins to soften and stretch across the floor, which means itβs probably time to start getting ready if youβre actually going to make it to Santosβ place before she decides youβre bailing and comes knocking to drag you there herself.
So you shower, change, pack a bag, and throw it over your shoulder on the way out the doorβtrying very hard not to feel disappointed that Dr. Ellis is the only person from night shift whoβs going to be at the bar tonight.
It really is for the best.
You, alcohol, and Jack Abbot in the same room is a terrible idea.
βAlright, Iβm ready,β Santos announces, finally stepping out of the bathroom.
You, Javadi, and Whitakerβwho have spent the last twenty minutes on the couch chatting and sipping beerβlook up.
βAw, I wish I could do winged eyeliner like that,β Javadi says. βIt just doesnβt suit my eye shape.β
βDonβt look too close,β Santos mutters. βItβs super uneven, but I donβt have time. I still have to fix this one before we go.β
She tips her chin toward where you and Whitaker are sitting on the opposite end of the lounge.
Whitakerβs eyes go wide. βMe?β
Santos scoffs. βNot you, Huckleberry. God, I donβt have enough time in the world to fix whateverβs going on there.β
Whitaker frowns, glancing down at his navy-blue button-up shirt. βWhatβs wrong with this?β
Whitaker lifts his head, glancing between you and Javadi. βIs it really that bad?β
Javadi leans forward, lowering her voice. βThereβs nothing wrong with it, Whitaker. You look great.β
You pat his shoulder. βItβs fine, really. Sheβs justββ
The words die on your tongue as Santos reappears, holding what can only be described as a sparkly scrap of fabric on a hanger.
Javadi tilts her head. βWhatβs that?β
Santos grins. βA dress.β
Whitaker chokes on his beer. βThatβsβ¦ not a dress. Thatβs a glittery napkin.β
βOh my God.β Javadi snorts. βMy mum would kill me just for buying that.β
βI didnβt buy it,β Santos says lightly. βA friend in college gave it to me, but itβs never fit quite right.β
She steps forward, extending the hanger toward you.
βBut I know youβll be able to pull it off,β she adds, her grin sharpening.
You stare at itβglinting in the low evening sun spilling through the windows.
βSantosβ¦ this is a work thing,β you mutter.
She rolls her eyes. βItβs not a work thing. Itβs just an outing with people from work.β
βIsnβt that the same thing?β Whitaker asks.
Santos sighs. βNo, itβs not. And are you forgetting our main objective?β
You blink at her.
βTo get you laid.β
Javadi giggles nervously, trying to hide it behind a swig of beer.
βCome on,β Santos says. βJust put it on and if it doesnβt work, we try something else.β
You hesitate, staring at the glittery thing like it might catch fire at any moment. Which, given enough sunlight, it probably could.
βFine,β you say at last, pushing off the couch. βIβll try it on, but that does not mean Iβm wearing it.β
Santosβ eyes sparkle with excitement. Or maybe itβs just the dress.
βThatβs my girl.β
You take the hanger from her and trudge into her room, nudging the door shut behind you. It takes a minute for you to figure out how the glittery napkin is supposed to go onβbut once you do, you shed your comfortable clothes and shimmy into the most sparkly piece of fabric youβve ever worn.
And somehow, the shimmering scrap of nothing turns out to be an actual dressβshort, sparkling, and just structured enough to stay where itβs supposed to while still feeling mildly illegal.
With a deep breath, you turn away from the mirror and open the door, stepping back out into the lounge room.
βSo?β
For a moment, no one says anything.
Whitakerβs mouth falls open.
Javadiβs eyebrows lift. βOh.β
Santos, meanwhile, tilts her head appreciatively, one hand on her hip, eyes gleaming as she looks you over from head to toe.
βI knew it,β she says smugly.
Whitaker blinks. βThat is not a dress.β
Javadi elbows him. βStop talking.β
You tug awkwardly at the hemβwhich doesnβt actually move much because there isnβt very much hem to tug.
βSantos,β you say carefully, βIβm not sureββ
βRelax,β she says. βYou look incredible.β
She circles you slowly, like a stylist inspecting her work.
βAnd youβre definitely going to get laid.β
βI feel like I shouldnβt be here,β Whitaker mutters, his face bright red.
Santos rolls her eyes. βYouβre only here because you live here, Huckleberry. Now go grab that bottle of tequila from on top of the fridgeβweβre going to need some liquid courage before we head out.β
After two shots of tequila and Santosβ finishing touches to your makeup, you all head out the door. Whitaker calls an Uber, the four of you pile in, and you carefully keep Santosβ leather jacket wrapped around yourself for some semblance of modesty.
You donβt really plan on taking it off for the rest of the nightβeven if it isnβt that cold.
The ride to the bar isnβt nearly long enough. Javadi spends most of it excitedly talking about how she can finally go out drinking now that sheβs twenty-one, which Santos encourages with the enthusiasm of someone who clearly intends to make the most of that milestone.
You mostly just stare out the window. Trying not to think about the dress you shouldnβt have agreed to wear and the night shift attending you definitely shouldnβt be missing right now. Because if someone asked you where youβd rather be tonightβthe bar or the ER with Dr. Abbotβyour honest answer would be incredibly depressing.
Who would rather be at work than out with their friends on a Saturday night?
βWeβre here,β Santos announces, nudging your side a little too hard.
You all thank the driver before climbing out, gathering yourselves on the sidewalk in front of the familiar establishment Santos loves dragging everyone to.
βRelax,β she says, dropping a hand on your shoulder. βYou donβt need this.β
She tugs at the leather jacket, pulling it off your shoulders until itβs bunched at your elbows.
βI feel naked,β you mutter. βLike this is some nightmare where I show up to work in my underwear.β
Whitaker snorts. βNot far from it.β
Santos rolls her eyes. βWell, youβre not at work. Youβre at a bar. And this is supposed to be fun.β
Right. Fun.
That is the entire point of tonight. Go out. Have a drink. Meet someone who isnβt Jack Abbot. Ideally forget Jack Abbot exists for at least a few hours.
Completely achievable.
Right?
βFine.β
You draw a deep breath and drop your arms, letting the jacket slide off completely. Santos grins as you sling it over one elbow, trying not to instinctively hold it in front of your body like armour.
βSee?β she says. βMuch better.β
βLetβs just go inside before I change my mind,β you mutter, already starting toward the door.
Javadi loops her arm through yours. βYou look amazing. Seriously.β
You give her a small smile, trying not to feel quite so awkward as Santos leads the way toward the main entrance.
Itβs just a bar. Just a normal Saturday night. Youβll be fine after a few more shots of liquid courage.
You glance through the front window as you approachβmore out of habit than anything else, your eyes drifting lazily over the crowded room inside.
People. Low lights. Patrons lingering around the bar.
Andβ
Your brain stalls.
Because thereβs a man leaning against the bar with one elbow braced on the countertop, his shoulders broad under a tight black shirt, head tipped slightly as he talks to someone beside him.
A familiar someone.
Dr. Ellis.
And the manβ
Oh.
Oh fuck.
Your stomach plummets.
Jack fucking Abbot.
Your feet stop moving, your whole body suddenly forgetting how to function.
Your pulse kicks violently against the inside of your throat as a wave of heat rushes up the back of your neck, sudden and dizzying and sharp enough to make the edges of your vision blur for half a second.
Because he looksβ
He looks so good.
Relaxed in a way youβve never seen at work. One hand curled loosely around a glass as he frowns slightly at something Ellis is saying, that small crease between his brows you know far too well.
And suddenly you are extremely, violently aware that you are standing outside a bar wearing approximately three square inches of glitter.
βSantos,β you say again, your voice almost breaking.
She glances over her shoulder. βHm?β
βYou knew.β
She stops, her hand hovering near the door.
Whitaker glances between the two of you. βWhatβs happening?β
βTechnically,β Santos says slowly, βI didnβt know. I just... suspected.β
βYou said Ellis was the only one from night shift whoβd be here.β
She winces. βI did, but what I meant isβ¦ Ellis is the only one who actually told me sheβd be here.β
You stare at her. βSo you did know?β
βI knew it was his night off.β
βSantos, Iββ You glance back at him through the bar window. βI canβt go in there like this.β
βLike what?β she asks. βSmoking hot?β
βHalf naked.β
She rolls her eyes. βYes, you can.β
βI will actually die.β
βNo, you wonβt,β she says firmly. βYouβre an adult. You can wear whatever you want, talk to whoever you want, and just because your incredibly inconvenient attending crush happens to be inside does not suddenly revoke your civil liberties.β
She pulls the door open.
βNow stop panicking and get in the bar.β
-
βHe swore the chest pain had nothing to do with the seven energy drinks heβd had that night,β Ellis says, still rambling about a patient who pissed her off two nights ago, βwhich was a bold position to take with a heart rate of one-forty.β
Jack snorts softly. βAnd did you believe him?β
Ellisβ eyes go wide, and she takes a long drink before continuing her rant about night shift patients and the strange confidence people have when explaining why their terrible decisions definitely have nothing to do with the symptoms theyβre currently experiencing.
Jack nods along, offering the occasional comment or question where needed, meeting her gaze now and thenβbut mostly keeping his attention on the door. Waiting. Because heβs not stupid enough to ask anyone if youβre going to be here tonight, but he is naΓ―ve enough to hope you will be.
He wasnβt even supposed to be here tonightβhis first night off in two weeks.
He was supposed to be at home, cooking something decent for dinner, enjoying the rare luxury of not wearing scrubs, and inevitably indulging in his favourite guilty pleasureβinvolving nothing but his hand and some very inappropriate thoughts of you.
But heβs not.
Heβs here. In a crowded bar, sipping cheap scotch, listening to Ellis complain about the night shift patients and their weird confidence, justβ¦ waiting.
For you.
Heβd wanted to ask you yesterday if you were coming to the bar tonightβbefore he agreed to joinβbut heβd barely seen you before the end of your shift. And you didnβt even say goodbye. Which isnβt unusual, given how chaotic the ER can be, but then heβd overheard your conversation with Whitakerβand something about it made his chest feel too tight.
It wasnβt anger. Not exactly. Not jealousy, either. It was just... wrong. Not because what you said was wrong, but because he hates that it was right. That you donβt belong to him. Even if Robby calls you βhis R2β and Whitaker thinks youβre close because youβre his residentβnone of it changes the fact that he has no real claim over you.
Which is ridiculous. He knows it.
He shouldnβt feel territorial. He shouldnβt want this. Want you. And yet, his chest still feels too tightβa slow, hot coil of frustration and longing curling up into his throat, and he hates it. Hates hearing it out loud, hates how much it matters, hates that he canβt make it not matter.
βOh.β Ellis glances over her shoulder. βLooks like Santos and the others are here.β
Jackβs gaze flicks back to the door.
He tries not to react, not to straighten, not to square his shoulders as if heβs bracing for somethingβbut he can already feel his composure slipping.
Santos steps in first, her head turned slightly as she talks to Whitaker, who walks in behind her. Then itβs Javadi, an unusually wide smile on her face as she looks atβ
You.
Oh.
Oh fuck.
Jack stops breathing.
His chest burns. His stomach flips. His hand tightens dangerously around his scotch glass.
Itβs you. Of course itβs you. Youβre perfect.
But thenβ
That dress.
God.
That dressβshort, sparkling, clinging just enough to make every nerve in his body snap awake. It shimmers under the low lights as you move, and he hates himself for noticing every subtle curve, every shift of fabric, as if time itself has slowed just to torture him.
Itβs all too much.
He can feel his pulse in his throat, heat burning beneath his skin, blood rushing in the one direction it really, really shouldnβt be right now. In public. In front of his coworkers.
He blinks, finally tearing his gaze away from you.
And thatβs when he notices the rest of the bar. All staring. All stunned.
He hates them all.
He hates that they can even look at you. Hates that the universe allows it. Hates that they might see even a fraction of what he seesβand feel a fraction of what he feels.
And he hates, more than anything right now, that youβre not his.
βDr. Abbot,β Robby says, appearing beside him and slinging an arm across his shoulders. βWhatβs your poison tonight?β
Jack lifts his drink, knuckles still white around the glass. βScotch.β
Robby claps his shoulder, the corner of his mouth lifting slightly. βYou might not want to have too many of those.β
Then he slips past both Jack and Ellis and raises a hand to flag down the bartender.
βAlright,β Ellis says, pushing off the bar. βIβm going to go grab a seat before the table gets too crowded.β
Jack nods, but he doesnβt follow. He stays beside the bar, rigid now, eyes fixed on the group of men at a high table just a few feet from the front door. Theyβre muttering to each other, leaning in, voices lowβbut nothing about it is subtle. Their gazes are glued to you as you weave through patrons and tables to greet the rest of the PTMC crew gathered in a booth near the back.
One of themβthe dumbest looking one, Jackβs already decidedβslowly slides off his stool, nodding along while his friends murmur their advice.
Jack glances back at you, now standing beside McKay, sliding your arms into the leather jacket youβd been carrying. Santos grabs your wrist, tilting her head toward the bar as she starts dragging you with her.
And, like a fourteen-year-old boy with a crush, Jackβs pulse starts racing.
βDr. Abbot,β Santos says, grinning as you both approach the bar. βFancy seeing you somewhere other than the ER on a Saturday night.β
βI do have a life outside of work, you know,β he says dryly, lifting his drink and looking anywhere but at you.
βLike playing bingo at the senior centre?β Santos asks, resting both forearms on the bar.
You step up on her other side, squinting at the shelves of liquor on the back wall like theyβre the most interesting thing in the room.
βBingoβs on Wednesdays,β he says mildly. βTry to keep up.β
Santos snorts, shaking her head as she reaches for the small leather-bound bar menu. But out of the corner of his eye, Jack sees your head dipβjust slightlyβand you try to hide a small laugh against your shoulder.
Jack feels it like a punch to the ribs.
Because youβre listening.
And apparentlyβ¦ you think heβs funny.
βAlright,β Santos says, lifting a hand. βI think we need some tequila over here.β
The bartender steps away from where heβd been serving farther down the bar, but his attention quickly drifts past Santos and lands on you. He leans in, resting one palm flat against the bar while he wipes down the counter with a rag that doesnβt really need wiping.
βSo,β he says to you, not Santos. βWhat are you drinking tonight?β
Santos blinks.
βI just told you,β she says flatly. βTequila.β
The bartender barely glances at her.
Jackβs jaw tightens.
You look briefly confused, glancing between Santos and the bartender.
βUhβwhatever she orders is fine.β
βYeah. Tequila,β Santos repeats, slower this time.
The bartender laughs like sheβs jokingβand Jack sets his scotch down slowly. Carefully.
His eyes stay locked on the man now lining up four small glasses in front of you, still completely ignoring Santos. The way heβs watching you is too much. Too close. The faint curl at the corner of his mouth makes Jack want to punch the smirk right off his face.
And by the way you shift a little closer to Santosβpulling your jacket tighter around yourselfβhe knows youβre uncomfortable.
His hand clenches at his side.
Robby pauses as he walks past, a beer in each hand.
βEasy, tiger,β he mutters. βShe can handle herself.β
βI know,β Jack says, voice low. βDoesnβt mean she has to.β
Robby gives him a lookβa brief, knowing glance, somewhere between amusement and warning. βCareful.β
Jack doesnβt respond. He just turns back to you and Santos, watching as you each knock back two shots of tequila, your nose scrunching as the burn hits. And he canβt help the small twitch at the corner of his mouth, because the face you make as you set the second glass down is ridiculously cute for someone wearing a dress like that.
βOkay,β Santos says. βI need a vodka soda before I start making bad decisions.β
The bartender nods, already reaching for another glassβand before he can even ask if youβd like another drink, someone else steals your attention.
βHey,β the guy says, stepping up beside you. βCan I get you another one?β
He leans in, just enough to be heard over the noiseβbut itβs still too close.
You shift slightly, angling toward him. βOh. Uhβsure.β
Santos presses her lips together, clearly fighting a smile as she turns back to the bar, suddenly very invested in whatever the bartender is doing. The second he sets the vodka soda in front of her, she scoops it up and drops a few bills on the counter.
She lifts the drink to her lips as she turns away, pausing just long enough to glance at Jack over the rim of the glass.
Her brows lift. βYou really gonna let that happen?β
Jack frowns. βWhatββ
But Santos is already gone, drink in hand, halfway back to the booth where everyone else is.
Where Jack should be headed tooβbecause thereβs no reason for him to stay here. No reason for him to linger, to hover, to make sure youβre okay, to stand there glaring at the guy buying you a drink like thatβs going to change anything.
Itβs not like he can blame him. If Jack thought he had a shot with you, heβd take it too. The difference is, Jack wouldnβt need the dress. Or the drinks. Or the crowd. Heβd take that shot with you even when youβre tired and stressed out and covered in blood at the end of a bad shift in the ER. Heβd take it any time. Any place.
But Jack doesnβt get that shot.
Because youβre young. You donβt have baggage. And youβre a residentβmaybe not his resident, but still a resident.
Itβs just too inappropriate.
Jack sets his glass back on the bar a little harder than necessaryβand the bartender glances over, brows raised as if silently asking if heβd like another, but Jack just shakes his head.
His eyes flick back to you. To the way youβre smiling nowβsoft, not uneasy. To the way you seem to have forgotten about keeping your jacket closed, and now the idiot talking to you is looking anywhere but your face.
Then you laughβlight, easyβand something in Jackβs chest tightens again.
He looks away. He canβt keep standing here. Heβs not going to stand here and watch you flirt with some idiot at the bar like he has any right to care.
With a deep breath, he forces himself to turn away and start walking back to the table.
Where he should have been five minutes ago. Where he plans on staying for the rest of the night.
Half an hour later, most of PTMCβs day shift staff are gathered in the booth, half still wearing their scrubs after coming straight from the hospital. The volume of conversation builds with the growing collection of empty glasses in the middle of the table, voices overlapping, getting louder with every roundβbut Jack doesnβt order another scotch. At some point, Ellis sets a beer in front of him, which he nurses until itβs too warm to enjoy.
Every now and then, he makes a point of nodding or laughing or glancing at someone across the tableβpretending to follow the conversation, pretending heβs paying attentionβwhen really, all he can focus on is you. You and your smile. And your laugh. And the way your hand settles lightly on a manβs bicep when he says something that makes you blush.
Not the same man as before, either. Noβthis one is new. This one swooped in when the first one excused himself to take a phone call, and now that one is back at the table with his friends, sulking.
Kind of how Jack is right now, sitting at the table with his friends. Sulking. Glaring. Plotting.
He knows he shouldnβt. He knows itβs none of his business. But he canβt stop himself from trying to come up with an excuse to interrupt you. To get you away from those men and their lingering stares.
Not that heβs any better.
βAbbot.β Robby nudges his side. βHungry?β
Jack blinks, finally dragging his gaze away from you to where Ellis is standing, looking expectant.
βHm?β
βAre you hungry?β Ellis asks. βIβm going to order some wings.β
Jack frowns. βUhβno. Iβm good. Thanks.β
Ellis nods once and turns away, heading straight for the bar.
Robby huffs a quiet laugh beside him. βYou might want to turn your hearing aids up, old man.β
Jack doesnβt even look at him. βFunny.β
βIβm serious,β Robby says mildly. βYouβve missed, what, three questions in the last five minutes?β
βI heard her,β Jack mutters. βI was just... thinking.β
Robby hums like he doesnβt believe that for a second.
Jack shifts, pushing his chair back as he sets his warm beer on the table. βIβm gonna hit the head.β
Robbyβs brows lift, slow and knowing, his gaze flicking briefly toward the bar.
βMm,β he says. βSure you are.β
Jack does, in fact, turn toward the bathrooms firstβmostly because he needs a second away from all the music and chatter to try and clear his head. To try and stop himself from doing what he really left the booth to do.
He locks himself in the accessible bathroomβnot that he needs it, but itβs more private than the menβsβand stands in front of the vanity. He presses his palms into the porcelain sink, shifting his weight forward with a deep, steadying breath.
This is ridiculous, and he knows it.
Heβs a grown man. He shouldnβt be acting like this.
This is trivial shit, for Godβs sake. Jack is a vet. A seasoned ER doctor.
So why is a goddamn crush undoing him like this?
Why are you undoing him like this?
He lifts his head and stares at his reflectionβjaw tight, shoulders rigidβtrying to get a grip. Trying to remember that he is a grown ass man, not some idiot who canβt keep his shit together.
His gaze drifts across his faceβthe day-old stubble, peppered hairβthen to the reflection of the bathroom behind him. The graffitied walls, covered in stickers and spray paint, a chaotic collection of late nights and inebriated thoughts. He wonders, briefly, how many people came in here intending to leave something behind.
Then he spots something scrawled in the corner of the mirror in thick black marker.
HESITATE AND SOMEONE ELSE WONβT.
Jack tilts his head.
Thatβs not exactly... subtle.
But thatβs the thing, isnβt it?
He doesnβt hesitate.
Not in the trauma bay. Not out in the field. Not when it matters. Not when someoneβs life is on the line and everyone else is waiting for someone to make the call.
So what the hell is this?
This⦠standing back. Watching. Letting it happen.
Like he doesnβt know what he wants. Like he hasnβt already made up his mind.
He drags a hand over his mouth, shaking his head onceβsharp, annoyed.
βJesus Christ.β
Itβs not caution. Itβs avoidance.
With another deep breath, Jack reaches for the tap and braces his hands beneath the stream. He scrubs them togetherβquick and thoroughβthen turns off the water, grabs a paper towel, and dries his hands with more focus than necessary. He tosses the towel in the bin on his way out the door, his gaze sharpening as he scans the barβfinding you immediately.
Youβre still standing where you were, maybe a few steps closer to the back of the room. Thereβs a new guy in front of you now, closing you in, crowding your space just enough to make Jackβs eyes narrow.
The manβs hand settles at your waist, a little lower than what could be considered innocent. And anyone else watching might think youβre okay with itβbut Jack knows you. He sees the small flicker of discomfort that crosses your face, the subtle drop of your shoulder as you try to angle yourself away without seeming rude.
Good thing Jack doesnβt mind being rude.
Heβs already moving before heβs fully decided to. Just a few long strides and heβs thereβclose enough to cut through the space between you and the guy without touching either of you, his presence alone enough to interrupt whatever the hell this is supposed to be.
He looks at you. Just you.
βHey.β
Your head turns immediatelyβand the shift in your expression is instant. Relief.
βOhβhey,β you say, a little breathless.
And then you step into him. Not too close. Not in a way that draws attention or suggests anythingβbut enough to make Jackβs pulse jump. Enough for him to feel your warmth and the way it settles under his skin.
βHey, man,β the guy says, holding out a hand. βIβm Trent.β
Jack ignores him.
βYou alright?β he asks you.
You nod slowly. βI am now.β
Your fingers curl into the back of his shirt, just for a secondβlike you didnβt even think about it. Like you just needed something solid to hold onto.
Jack goes still.
Trent clears his throat. βSorryβuhβwho are you?β
You glance at him with a tight smile. βThis is my attending.β
Jack likes being called your attending.
Trent frowns. βWhat?β
βRemember how I said I was a doctor?β
Trent just stares at you.
βWell, Dr. Abbot is my attending,β you go on anyway. βHeβs like my supervisor. Iβm his resident.β
His resident.
βRight,β Trent mutters, eyeing Jack. βCool. Soβyouβre a doctor?β
Jack doesnβt even look at him. His eyes stay fixed on you.
βAre you hungry?β he asks. βEllis is ordering wingsβwe can grab a menu.β
βStarving,β you reply, the corner of your mouth lifting slightly as you look up at him.
βGreat.β His hand settles at your shoulder, firm but casual. βLetβs get back to the others.β
βWait,β Trent says. βAre youββ
βIt was nice meeting you,β you cut in, flashing him one last tight-lipped smile before Jack steers you away.
He keeps his arm around your shoulders until youβre halfway back to the booth of PTMC doctors and nurses. Only then does he pull back, clasping his hands behind his back like he needs the physical restraint.
βThanks for that,β you murmur. βHe just wouldnβt take a hint.β
Jack nods. βI noticed.β
He doesnβt look at you as he turns back toward the other end of the table, toward his seat beside Robbyβbecause if he did, he might not be able to leave your side. From the corner of his eye, he sees Santos reach for you, already asking what happened as she pulls you into the seat between her and McKay.
And for twenty blissful minutes, Jack feels okay. The most okay heβs felt all night.
Because youβre here, at the table, talking to Santos and McKayβand not some idiot who thinks he deserves a chance with the prettiest girl in the room. In the world, according to Jack.
But only for twenty minutesβbecause once you finish your drink, Santos drags you back to the bar.
Another shot. Another drink. Another guy.
Jack shifts in his chair, trying to listen to whatever it is Ellis and Mateo are arguing about, but he canβt focusβnot when your hand settles lightly on this new guyβs shoulder. And especially not when it slides down his bicep, flirty in a way that makes Jack want to get out of his chair.
He tells himself heβs not going to. That he shouldnβt.
But the second the lights dim and the music gets louder, he pushes out of his seat.
He finds you at the edge of the dancefloor, catching your wrist before you can disappear into the crowd.
βHey,β he says, voice raised over the music.
Your head whips around, your brows lifting slightly in that soft, expectant wayβlike youβre waiting for him to say whatever it is thatβs so important he had to stop you right here.
Jack clears his throat. βHave you been drinking water?β
You frown. βUm. Not really.β
βYou should really drink some water,β he says, tipping his head toward the bar.
You hesitate, glancing back over your shoulder at the man waiting for you to follow him into the crowd.
Then you look back at Jack.
βUh, yeah. Okay. Water.β
He knows he shouldnβt have done it. He knows it was stupid and petty and jealousy-drivenβbut he canβt help the flicker of satisfaction when you follow him to the end of the bar with the self-serve water tower.
The music is too loud for conversationβand even if it wasnβt, heβs not sure what heβd say. Not when youβre looking at him like this. A little drunk. A little curious. Your brows drawn, your skin glistening with a thin sheen of sweat, your lips wet from the water.
God. This has the be the finest form of torture.
Because here you areβso young and so sweet, so trusting in Jack that heβs just trying to look after you, when all he can think about is the fact that youβre not his. That they think youβre fair game. That every man in this room thinks he has a chance.
And the fact that heβs not going to let them anywhere near you.
-
The third time Jack Abbot appears at your side, he catches your elbow just as youβre about to step out the door with a man named Leo. Not to leave the barβjust for some airβbut then Jack says something about Mateo buying a round of shots and guides you back inside.
You donβt mind. Not really. Especially not when a free drink is involved.
So you line up beside your coworkers and sink another shot of tequila with a grimace before Santos drags you back to the dancefloor.
The fourth time Jack Abbot intercepts you, youβre just about to start dancing with a handsome stranger Santos accidentally made you bump intoβbut before you can even take the manβs hand, Jack pulls you away, insisting you take a seat for a minute and drink more water.
Which, fine. Whatever.
But by the fifth interruption, youβre starting to notice a pattern.
And youβre getting a little annoyed.
βOh my God,β Santos says, her eyes going wide as the opening notes to ABBAβs Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! start blaring through the speakers. βWe have to dance. Come on!β
You barely have time to scoop your drink up off the bar before sheβs dragging you onto the dancefloorβinto the throng of warm bodies all moving to the beat beneath the single, sparkling disco ball.
The music pulses through the floor beneath your feet, the bass thrumming in your chest as Santos drags you deeper into the crowd. Somewhere between Mateoβs round of shots and your tenth song on the dancefloor, your jacket disappearedβand now your dress catches the light with every movement, glittering under the shifting colours as bodies press in from all sides.
The bar is still pretty full, even if the PTMC booth has already lost a few soldiers. There are still plenty of prospectsβplenty of strangers who might offer to take you home and make you forget all about Jack Abbot. Which is still very much the plan.
If only the man himself would stop interrupting every interaction like heβs doing you a favour.
At some point during the secondβor maybe thirdβchorus, Santos subtly steps away and a guy ends up in front of you. Youβre not even entirely sure how. One second youβre dancing and screaming the lyrics, the next heβs thereβclose enough that you can feel the heat of him, his hands hovering like heβs trying to decide where to put them.
You let it happen. Because this is what you want, right?
This is the plan.
He leans in and says something you donβt quite catch over the music, but you laugh anywayβmore out of obligation than anything else.
Then his attention shifts.
His eyes flick past you. And just like thatβhe falters.
Itβs subtle, but you feel it. The hesitation. The way his body pulls back a fraction, like something just snapped him out of it.
βUhβactually,β he mutters, already stepping away. βIβyeah. Sorry.β
Then heβs gone.
You blink, frowning slightly as you glance over your shoulder andβ
Of course.
Jack Abbot, standing just beyond the edge of the dancefloor, drink in hand, eyes locked on you with a look that makes your stomach drop.
Not angry. Not exactly.
But intense. Sharp. Focused in a way that feels⦠deliberate.
You stare at him for a secondβfrustration flickering across your faceβthen turn back to Santos, who is still dancing with her vodka soda lifted in the air.
You lean in, raising your voice just enough to be heard over the music. βYour plan isnβt working!β
She turns to face you, frowning. βWhat do you mean itβs not working?β
You stare at her. βThe plan to get me laid? Itβs not working.β
βWhy not?β
You huff out a laugh, incredulous.
βBecause of him,β you say, nodding toward Jack. βBecause I let him save me from one bad interaction and now heβs justβhovering. Interrupting. Scaring people off.β
Santosβ mouth twitches.
βI think he thinks heβs being helpful,β you add, shaking your head. βLike heβs doing me a favour or something, butβGod, Iβm never going to get a stranger to take me home with a hundred-and-ninety-pound war vet glaring over my shoulder every five minutes.β
Santos just looks at you for a secondβthen smiles. Slow. Knowing.
βAnd what part of my plan isnβt working?β
You frown. βAre you even listening to me?β
βI said I was going to get you laid,β she says, lifting her drink to her lips. βI never said anything about going home with a stranger.β
It doesnβt land straight away.
You blink at her, still frowning as you try to follow the logicβbecause that doesnβt make sense, thatβs not the plan. If youβre not going home with a stranger, then whoβ
And then it clicks.
Your stomach drops.
βWaitβSantos,β you start, eyes widening. βYou donβt meanββ
Santos just looks at you over the rim of her glass. Calm. Patient. Smiling faintly, like sheβs been waiting for this exact moment all night.
You glance toward the side of the dancefloor againβto the man still focused on you in a way that feels far too intentional now. Arms folded, jaw set. He doesnβt even pretend to look away when you meet his stare.
βActually,β Santos says, her hand closing around your wrist. βI think my plan is working perfectly. Now, come onββ she nods toward the booth where everyone else is, βletβs play a game.β
A game?
Before you can argue or even question it, Santos is dragging you off the dancefloor toward the booth at the back of the bar. The thrum of the music dulls the further you get from the crowd, and by the time you both slide into empty seats at the table, you no longer feel like you need to yell just to be heard.
The PTMC crew has thinned since you were last sitting here. Robby, Dana, and Donnie are gone, and McKay is holding her purse in her lap like sheβd been trying to leave when Mateo cornered her with another rant about how no patient actually seems to understand the pain scale.
βAlright,β Santos announces, picking up someoneβs abandoned drink and taking a sip like she owns it, βweβre playing a game.β
Whitaker leans forward. βA game?β
βYes, Huckleberry. A game.β Santos glances around the table with a lazy half-smile. βItβs called Never Have I Ever.β
Mateo snorts. βThatβs a middle school sleepover game.β
βGreat,β Santos replies. βThen it should be easy for you.β
Thereβs a ripple of laughter around the table, but no one else seems to object.
βCan I start?β Mohan pipes up beside Santos. βIβve got a good one.β
Santos nods. βBe my guest.β
Youβre not entirely sure when Jack rejoined the table, since heβd been at the edge of the dancefloor just a few minutes ago, but now youβre suddenly very aware of his presence across from you. Like the few people that called it a night have unintentionally left a smaller, more intimate group behindβand now Jack Abbot is almost directly across from you while you play one of the most notorious, tension-raising middle school games of all time.
βOkay,β Mohan says, sitting up a little straighter. βNever have I everβ¦ called in sick when I wasnβt actually sick.β
McKay laughs. Mateo groans. Almost everyone at the table lifts their drinks.
βReally?β Santos says. βThat was your good one?β
Mohan shrugs. βI thoughtββ
βNever mind,β Santos cuts her off. βMy turn.β
Her gaze moves slowly around the table before landing on you, the corner of her mouth lifting just slightly.
βNever have I ever,β she starts slowly, βfantasised about someone else sitting at this table.β
Whitaker frowns. βYouβve accidentally fantasised about someone here?β
He shrugs. βSometimes the wrong people pop up, you know?β
Santos rolls her eyes. βOh my God. Whatever. Intentional or not.β
Mateo nods once and lifts his drink. Javadi sinks lower in her chair as she lifts hersβand you try not to look around at the rest of the table as you bring your own up to your lips.
Beside you, McKay drops her purse to the ground and straightens, clearly invested now.
βAlright, Iβve got one,β she says, grinning. βNever have I everβ¦ faked it.β
Javadi chokes, Santos snorts, and across from you, Jack huffs out a quiet laugh.
βNever?β Ellis asks, eyes wide. βSo you alwaysββ
βOh, God, no,β McKay laughs. βDefinitely not. I just refuse to fake it.β
Laughter moves through the table again, a little louder this time, and everyone takes a second to decide whether or not to raise their drinks.
You lift yours slowly, looking anywhere but at Jack.
βOkay, my turn,β Ellis announces, shifting in her seat. βNever have I everβ¦ hooked up with someone at work.β
The table reacts around you, a mix of laughter and quiet protest, but it all blurs at the edges when you finally glance upβbecause Jack is already looking at you.
Not surprised. Not amused.
Just⦠watching.
He doesnβt laugh or say anything. He just lifts his drink, slow and deliberate.
And something sharp twists in your chest.
βWhatβve you got, Langdon?β McKay asks, nodding at him across the table.
Langdon strokes his chin thoughtfully for a momentβthen sighs.
βAlright, I already know Iβm going to get shit for this, butββ He clears his throat. βNever have I everβ¦ had sex in public.β
McKay laughs, loudly, and lifts her drink to her lips without hesitation. Ellis and Santos drink too, while Mohan laughs into her hand and Javadi sinks even lower in her chair.
Across from you, Jack sips his drink again like itβs nothing.
And that sharp twist in your chest doesnβt ease.
Because of course he has. Of course there are other people. Other women.
And youβ
You catch Santosβ gaze from the other end of the tableβsharp, knowing, daring.
Your grip tightens slightly around your glass.
And before you can talk yourself out of itβ
βOkay, my turn,β you say lightly, sitting up a little straighter.
Everyone turns to you, but you keep your eyes fixed on your glass.
βNever have I ever,β you say slowly, ββ¦finished during sex.β
For a secondβnothing.
Then the table erupts.
βWhatβnoββ Mateo is already laughing, leaning forward like he thinks youβre joking. βYouβre kidding.β
Javadi chokes on her drink, coughing as she turns toward you. βWait, seriously?β
βOh my God,β McKay says, half-laughing, half-staring at you like sheβs trying to figure out if youβre lying.
Langdon huffs out a quiet, disbelieving laugh, shaking his head. βWellβ¦ thatβs unfortunate.β
Whitaker just blinks at you, caught somewhere between surprised and confused, like he doesnβt quite know what to do with that information.
Santos doesnβt say anything. She just leans back in her seat, watching you over the rim of her glass with a slow, satisfied smile.
And across from youβ
Jack just goes still.
Completely still.
His expression doesnβt change, but something in his eyes doesβsharp, dark, focused in a way that makes your stomach flip.
It takes you a minute to remember how to move. How to breathe. How to laugh and sip your drink and keep playing the game that doesnβt stop just because it feels like your heart did.
Eventually, everyone eases off the third-degree on your embarrassingly real confession, and Mateo pipes up next with something ridiculous that makes the table groan. Then Javadi comes out with something surprisingly rebelliousβand blushes hard when Mateo flashes her a wink.
And so it goes on.
You know it does.
You can hear itβvoices overlapping, laughter breaking out again, someone arguing over what counts, someone else swearing theyβre being misrepresentedβbut it all feelsβ¦ distant.
Like itβs happening a few steps away from you instead of right here at the table. Because now, all you can focus on is Jack. On the way heβs hardly moved. Hardly spoken. Hardly looked away from you.
At some point, he mutters his own confession with a small smirk and everyone laughsβbut you donβt catch the words. Youβre too aware of everything else to hear them. Too aware of your pulse pounding in your ears, the thrum of the music beneath your feet, the way Jackβs jaw ticks every time you glance back at him.
Another round starts. Then another.
Someone groans. Someone laughs too loud. Santos says something that earns a chorus of reactionsβbut it all slips past you, unimportant, forgettable.
Time stretches. Blurs.
Your drink empties, refills, empties again.
People shift in their seats. Someone stands. Someone leaves.
Then suddenlyβ
βYou ready?β
You blink.
Santos is standing beside you, brows raised.
βReady?β you echo.
She nods toward the door. βTime to go. Most of us have to work tomorrow.β
You glance around at the empty table. βOh.β
Santos is already halfway to the door by the time you gather your things and catch up to her. Youβre still pulling your jacket on as you step outside, bracing against the cool night air that nips at every inch of exposed skinβwhich, in this dress, is a lot of skin.
βThe Uberβs just around the corner,β Whitaker says.
βGreat,β Mohan mutters, hugging her jacket tighter. βIβm freezing.β
Youβre not sure if itβs the alcohol or just the heat lingering beneath your skin from the way Jack had been watching you earlier, but youβre not nearly as cold as you should be.
βYou sure you donβt mind if I stay over tonight?β Javadi asks, glancing between Santos and Whitaker.
Santos shrugs. βAs long as you donβt mind the couchβand Dr. Shamsi isnβt going to have us arrested for kidnapping.β
Javadi lets out an awkward laugh. βUhβno. Itβs totally fine. I told my dad.β
βAre you working tomorrow?β Whitaker asks.
Javadi shakes her head. βDay off. You?β
Whitaker sighs. βYeah.β
βSo am I,β Santos adds. βAnd if I donβt get at least five hours sleep, I cannot be responsible for other peopleβs lives.β
βThatβs reassuring,β Jack mutters, almost startling you as he steps out of the bar.
He buries his hands in his pockets, hardly sparing you a glance as he steps closer to the group. Thereβs a faint hitch in his stepβsomething you recognise from the waning hours of a night shift, when heβs been on his feet for too long and starts to favour one leg.
βThis is us,β Whitaker announces, nodding toward the car pulling up at the curb.
Mohan hurries forward first, yanking the door open and climbing into the back seatβand Javadi is next, flashing you a smile before she ducks in beside her. You step forwardβthen hesitate. Whitaker is already holding the front passenger door open, and Santos is standing at the curb, about to join the others in the back.
βWait.β Your pulse jumps. βThereβs too manyββ
βYouβre with Dr. Abbot,β Santos says lightly, her mouth twitching like sheβs trying not to smile.
Your stomach drops.
βIβIβm what?β
Santos shrugs. βJavadiβs staying over and Mohanβs place is on the way to ours. Just makes sense.β
Then she climbs into the car, shuts the door, and rolls the window down.
βSee you tomorrow!β
Thereβs a chorus of goodbyes from the others before the car pulls away from the curbβand the cool, quiet night settles in too quickly. The only sound is the dull thrum of music from the bar, and the pounding of your pulse in your ears.
For a second, you donβt turn around. You canβt. Not now that youβre alone with him.
Thenβ
βIβm this way,β he says, voice low and rough and maddeningly hot.
You nod, but donβt dare look at him as you start following the line of parked cars up the street.
The night air feels sharper now, cooler the further you get from the barβand it makes you pull into yourself, arms folded tightly while your jacket barely does anything to help.
Jack keeps an easy pace beside you, not crowding you, not touching you, but close enough that youβre aware of him anyway. Of the space he takes up at your side. Of the way he adjusts slightly so youβre walking on the inside of the path, further from the curb, without making a thing of it.
Neither of you says anything.
Itβs not awkward. Itβs justβ¦ quiet in a way that feels heavy, like the silence is holding onto everything that happened inside instead of letting it go.
Your heels click unevenly against the pavement, catching slightly every few steps, and youβre suddenly, painfully aware of everythingβthe way your dress shifts as you move, the cool air against your skin, the way your pulse hasnβt quite settled.
You feel too sober. Too aware.
When his car finally comes into view, he moves ahead of you just slightlyβjust enough to reach the passenger door first and hold it open.
God. Heβs so annoyingly considerate.
You give him a small, tight smile before climbing into the passenger seat.
The car is still warm, still holding onto the heat from earlier in the day, and it smells like him in a way thatβs subtle but unmistakableβclean, familiar, something faintly sharp beneath it that you canβt quite place but instantly recognise. The seat gives slightly beneath you, softer than you expect, and for a second you just sit there, hands hovering like youβre not entirely sure where to put them.
Itβs his.
All of it.
The way everything is exactly where it should be, nothing out of place. The faint scuff on the console. A pair of sunglasses tucked neatly into the centre compartment. His backpack thrown into the back seat like heβd discarded it in a hurry and never thought about it again.
The sound of the driverβs side door opening almost startles you.
You drop your hands into your lap, shifting slightly and smoothing your dress down over your thighs like that might ground you somehow.
The car immediately feels smaller when Jack climbs in. More intimate. Closer in a way thatβs almost stifling.
You keep your eyes fixed out the windscreen.
Waiting.
For the engine to start. For the car to move.
But nothing happens.
The silence stretches, thick and suffocating, settling into every inch of the space between you.
And thenβ
βYou canβt say shit like that around me.β
You blink, finally turning toward himβand regretting it immediately. Heβs so irritatingly handsome, so annoyingly gorgeous in a way that makes you want to be stupid and reckless and climb across the console into his lap.
βSay what?β you ask, your voice embarrassingly thin.
He looks at youβnot fully, just turning his head slightly.
βYou know what,β he says, his voice low and rough with something that sounds a little too close to control slipping.
And you do.
You know exactly what he means.
But before you can say anything else, he turns the key and the engine rumbles to life. The radio crackles a little before some late-night news station fills the silenceβand he doesnβt move to turn it off, doesnβt even turn it down. He just drives.
The radio reporterβs voice hums through the car like white noise, talking about something youβre not really listening to as you try to focus on keeping your breathing even.
You can still hear his voice.
You canβt say shit like that around me.
The way he said it. Low. Controlled. Like it cost him something to keep it that way.
Your fingers shift slightly in your lap, smoothing over the fabric of your dress again without thinking, and your mind starts turning his words over before you can stop itβpulling at them, testing them, trying to make them mean something that makes sense.
Because what does that even mean?
You glance at him, quick, like you might catch something you missedβbut heβs focused on the road, jaw set, one hand loose on the wheel like nothing happened. Like he didnβt just change everything with eight little words.
You look away again.
No. He didnβt mean it like that.
Heβs justβheβs your attending. Heβs responsible. Of course heβd say something. Of course heβdβ
Except he didnβt say it like that.
Your stomach tightens as your thoughts circle back, slower this time, more deliberate.
The way he kept pulling you away from people tonight. The way heβd been watching you. The way he didnβt laugh, didnβt joke, didnβt let it go.
The way he said it.
Around me.
Not here. Not in front of people.
Around me.
Your breath catches slightly, and you shift in your seat, suddenly very aware of the space between youβof how close he is, of how easy it would be to just turn your head, lean in andβ
No.
No, thatβs notβ
You swallow, gaze fixed stubbornly ahead.
Youβre just reading into it. You have to be.
Because the alternativeβ
Your pulse jumps.
God. The alternative is too much to even consider.
But the thought lingers anyway.
It settles in the back of your mind, quieter now, but heavierβpulling at everything he said, everything he did, everything you might have missed until now. The words circle back, sharper this timeβuntilβ
The car stopsβand you blink.
For a moment, you donβt move. You canβt.
Then Jack clears his throat.
βOhβuhβthanks,β you mutter, reaching for your seatbelt buckle.
He nods once. βAnytime.β
You push your door open before you can think too hard about it, stepping out into the cool night air that hits a little harder this time. Your heart is still beating in your throat, your pulse still too loud, your thoughts are still circling those eight wordsβeight little words that feel like they weigh far more than they should.
You hesitateβone hand on the door, the other gripping your keys in your jacket pocket.
God.
This is stupid.
This is reckless.
This isβ
βDo youββ You clear your throat, the words catching slightly before you force them out. βDo you want to come up?β
He stares at you for a second, then lets out a short, disbelieving breath, like heβs not quite sure he heard you right.
βYou canβt be serious.β
Heat rushes up your neck, quick and unwelcome, and for a second you just stand there, wishing you could take it backβrewind a few seconds and keep your mouth shut.
What the hell were you thinking?
βYeah,β you say, a little too quickly. βNo, that wasβthat was stupid.β
You turn away before he can say anything else, pushing the door shut harder than you mean to as you step back onto the sidewalk. You donβt look back. You refuse to. You just keep walking toward the lobby door, drawing your keys from your pocket and fumbling through them to find the right one.
It takes longer than it should, but eventually you find the lobby key and wriggle it into the lock.
This door has never been your friend. Itβs old, a little rusted, and the lock has always been jankyβbut now your hands are shaking, and this stupid old door seems to think thatβs funny, because it wonβt budge.
You jiggle the key and try again, but nothing changes.
Thenβ
βHere.β
His voice is low. Close.
Your hand stills as he steps in behind you, not touching, but close enough that you can feel the heat of him at your backβthe solid line of his chest just shy of pressing into you as he reaches past your shoulder.
His fingers brush yours as he takes the keyβand the lock turns easily this time.
Of course it does. Traitorous fucking door.
His arm lingers there for a second longer than it needs toβthen he pushes the door open.
You donβt even glance at him as you step inside, already turning back to grab your key before the door swings shutβbut heβs still holding it, barely a step behind you.
He tilts his head slightly, nodding toward the lobby. βGo.β
Itβs quiet. Controlled.
Not a suggestion.
Your breath catches, just for a second, and you hesitateβlong enough to feel it, whatever this is, tightening between youβ
Then you turn and keep walking.
And he follows.
He follows you across the lobby, up the fire stairs, down the corridor, all the way to your apartment door. He stands a little closer than necessary as you unlock itβalmost like he doesnβt think you know how doors work nowβbut the key turns smoothly this time.
You push the door open and step inside.
The apartment is quiet, dim, and you shrug out of your jacket without thinking. You can feel him watching you as you drape it over the arm of the sofa, and itβs a little... thrilling. Dangerous. Because Jack Abbot is in your goddamn apartment right now, looking at you like heβs a man on the edgeβ
And youβre daring him to jump.
βDrink?β you offer, keeping your voice lightβinnocent.
He clears his throat. βWater, please.β
You canβt help the small smirk on your lips as you brush past him, a little closer than necessary.
βSo polite,β you murmur.
He doesnβt move, doesnβt shiftβbut you can feel him there, tense just beneath the surface.
You open the fridge and bend over to grab a bottle of water, letting your dress ride up the backs of your thighs in a way thatβs totally unnecessary. Jack clears his throat again, just a little too sharp, and when you glance back toward him, heβs turned away completely.
You press your lips together to keep from smiling too wide as you straighten again.
βHere,β you say, stepping toward him and holding the water out.
He turns hesitantly, taking it. βThank you.β
Your eyes catch his, a slow smile tugging at your lips before you bite the corner gently, just enough for him to notice. He looks away quickly, jaw tightening as he focuses on uncapping the water bottle.
You brush past him again, still a little too close, and move toward the sofa, dropping onto it and leaning forward to take off your shoes.
Jack takes a long swig of water, then clears his throat for the third time.
βAre you working tomorrow?β he asks.
You glance up, still leaned forward, and itβs hard not to notice the way his eyes dip from your face.
βIsnβt that something you should already know?β
The corner of his mouth twitches, like he canβt quite help himself.
βYouβre impossible. You know that?β
Heat rushes up your neck at the way he says itβshort, sharp, loadedβand you bite back a grin, letting your eyes glint just a little as you straighten.
βAm I?β you murmur, tilting your head just slightly. βOnly one way to find out.β
He freezes for a second, shoulders tight, hand curling slightly around the water bottleβand it crackles softly under his grip. His breath hitches, just barely.
βI should go,β he mutters, voice low and clipped.
He takes a step toward the doorβand you shoot up from the sofa, heartbeat racing.
βWaitβuhβbefore you go,β you say, stepping toward him, βcould you help me with something?β
He hesitates, turning slowly, as if every second in here is costing him something.
You move until youβre almost between him and the door, looking up at him through your lashes.
βCould you help me out of my dress?β
The second the words leave your lips, you forget how to breathe.
Jackβs jaw tightens, his shoulders coiling ever so slightly. His fingers twitch around the bottle, just a whisper of movement, as if holding himself together by force. His eyes catch yours, dark and sharp, taking in the faint scrunch between your brows, the small pout on your lips, the way youβre offering him something he never thought heβd be allowed to have.
He nods onceβcareful, controlledβbut the tension radiating off him is almost unbearable.
Your stomach flips.
Without a word, you turn, sweeping your hair out of the way while your pulse hammers in your ears.
You feel him shift, his warmth, and the ghost of his touch at the nape of your neck. And that first, tiny contact sends a shock straight through youβhot, sharp, impossible to ignore.
He pauses, just a heartbeat, and you catch the tiniest hitch in his breath.
Then he moves again, slow, deliberate, dragging the zipper down almost painfully slow, his knuckles grazing your skinβwarm, rough, controlled, just enough to make your heart pound in your throat.
βHow do you do it?β you whisper, voice catching slightly. βHow are you always soβ¦ unaffected by everything?β
βUnaffected?β he murmurs, almost tasting the word, as if testing it against himself.
His knuckles brush the small of your back, pausing where the zipper endsβbut he doesnβt stop. His fingertips graze your skin, deliberate, teasing, tracing the line of your spine upward again, slow enough that it drags your breath with it, sharp enough that heat blooms through every nerve.
βYou have no idea,β he whispers, voice low and rough, almost breaking, βhow much you affect me.β
Your breath catches, sharp and sudden. Everything in your chest pulls tight, something hot and dizzying blooming low as his words sink in.
You turn before you can stop yourselfβand heβs closer now. Close enough that you can feel the warmth of him, the shift of his breath, the space between you narrowing into something fragile and dangerous.
For a second, neither of you move.
And then his hand finds your neckβ
Not rough, not rushedβjust firm enough to anchor you there, thumb pressing under your jaw like he needs to feel that this is real, that youβre real. His other hand tightens where it still holds the loosened fabric of your dress at your back, fingers curling into it like restraint is slipping through his grip.
He hesitates, just for a breath. Like heβs giving himself one last chance to walk away.
Then he kisses you.
Itβs not tentative. Thereβs nothing careful about it. It lands like something heβs been holding back for too long, all that control finally snapping under the weight of you standing here, asking for him, looking at him like that.
His mouth is warm and certain against yours, a sharp inhale breaking through you as you lean into him without thinking, your hands finding him just as quicklyβhis stomach, his chestβanything to hold onto as the world tilts. He makes a low sound, barely there, but you feel it more than you hear it, the vibration settling deep in your chest as his grip tightens.
You melt before you can stop yourself.
Your head tilts back, giving him more, and he takes it immediately, deepening the kiss with that same quiet intensity that steals the breath right out of you. His thumb shifts along your jaw, not lingering, just enough to guide you where he wants you, and the control of itβGod, the way he still tries to control it after everything, after all that restraintβmakes something in your stomach flip hard.
His hand at your back slips under the loosened zipper, fingers pressing into your bare skin now, warm and steady, but thereβs tension in it. You can feel it in the way his grip flexes, like heβs still tryingβstillβto hold the line even as he pulls you closer.
It doesnβt work.
Not when you press into him like this, not when your fingers curl tighter in his shirt, not when you kiss him back without hesitation, without thinking about consequences or lines or anything except how he feels against you.
He exhales against your mouth, sharp, like youβve just undone him, and for a second the kiss faltersβnot because heβs pulling away, but because heβs trying to.
You feel it. The conflict. The split second where he almost stops.
Your hand slides up to his jaw, fingers catching there, holding him in place before he can even try.
βDonβt,β you whisper, barely pulling back, your lips brushing his as you speak.
And something in him gives.
You see it in the way his eyes darken, in the way his hand tightens at your back, pulling you flush against him this time, the last inch of space gone like it was never allowed to exist in the first place.
When he kisses you again, itβs deeper.
Less restrained.
Like heβs finally stopped pretending this isnβt exactly what he wants.
Itβs different nowβharder, hungrier, like something in him has shifted for good. His hand slides from your jaw to your waist, gripping tight as he steps into you, crowding you back without breaking the kiss, without giving you a second to think.
Your back meets the door with a soft thud.
He doesnβt stop.
If anything, it only makes him sharper, more certain, his mouth moving against yours with a kind of urgency that steals the air right out of your lungs. You barely get a breath before he takes it again, and you let himβGod, you let himβtilting into him, giving him everything he reaches for.
His hand tightens at your waist, then slips lower, dragging you flush against him again, like he needs to feel exactly how close he can get before he loses control completely.
And you can feel itβhow close he is.
Itβs in the way his grip flexes, in the way his breath turns uneven against your mouth, in the way the kiss keeps deepening like he canβt quite stop himself from taking more.
Your fingers find his shirt again, pulling him closer, and he breaks the kiss just long enough to drag in a breath, his forehead almost brushing yours, like heβs tryingβone last timeβto get a handle on this.
He doesnβt.
His hands are on you again, immediate, sliding up your sides, pushing the straps of your dress from your shoulders in one smooth, decisive motion. The fabric gives easily, slipping under his hands like it was never meant to stay there in the first placeβand it falls to the floor, pooling at your feet.
His breath catches, and his gaze dropsβjust for a second, but itβs enough.
βTell me to stop,β he says, voice low, roughβnothing steady about it now.
You meet his eyes, chest rising and falling fast, heat still sparking under your skin.
βBedroom,β you murmur.
For a second, he just looks at you.
Something in his expression shiftsβtightensβlike that word landed exactly where it shouldnβt. His gaze searches yours for a moment, checking for hesitation, for doubt.
But he doesnβt find any.
He nods onceβand you turn, already moving toward the bedroom. You can feel him right behind you, close enough that his hand finds your waist again before youβve even taken two steps, steady, grounding, like heβs not about to let you get too far ahead of him.
Itβs barely a walk.
More like being guidedβpulledβacross the apartment toward your room, your pulse loud in your ears, every step charged with the knowledge of what youβve just set in motion.
The door barely makes it closed before heβs on you again.
Not rushedβnever rushedβbut certain, like the decision has already been made and thereβs no point pretending otherwise. His hands find you first, steady at your waist, turning you back toward him before you can take another step into the room.
Your breath catches as you look up at him. Thereβs something in his expression youβve never seen before. Itβs not soft, not gentleβjust stripped of whatever distance heβd been holding onto all night.
Gone.
His gaze drags over you, slow and deliberate, and this time thereβs nothing in the way of itβnothing to hide behind, nothing to buffer itβand the heat in it settles low in your stomach, heavy and immediate.
βStill want this?β he asks, voice rough, quieter nowβbut it lands heavier here.
You donβt answer. You just step into him.
And itβs all the permission he needs.
His hand tightens at your waist as he pulls you back into him, and the kiss this time is slower, deeper in a way that feels intentionalβlike heβs choosing it, not chasing it. His mouth moves against yours with a kind of controlled hunger, every shift measured, every breath deliberate, like heβs letting himself feel it fully instead of fighting it.
Your fingers curl into his shirt, and he exhales against your mouth, something unsteady finally breaking through.
His grip shiftsβfirmer nowβguiding you back a step, then another, not hurried, not careless, but unrelenting all the same. You feel the edge of the bed behind your knees before you fully register moving at all, your focus too caught in the way heβs kissing you, the way his hand anchors you like heβs not about to let this get away from him.
His mouth breaks from yours just long enough to draw in a breath, his forehead pressing briefly to yours.
Not hesitation. Control.
Or what little he has left of it.
βLast chance,β he murmurs, quieter now.
You drop back onto the bed, gaze locked on his, breath still uneven.
βIβm not the one holding back.β
You barely have time to move up the mattress before heβs there, crowding over you, hands braced on either side as he follows you down. The mattress dips under his weight, the space between you gone in an instantβreplaced by the solid heat of him, the firm press of his hips against yours.
His mouth finds yours again, hot and insistent, teeth catching your bottom lip just enough to pull a soft sound from youβbut itβs different now. Slower. Not restrained, but deliberate. Curious, almost.
Like heβs learning you.
The way you react. The way you move under him. The way you give.
Your hands slide up his chest, fingertips digging in as heat coils low in your stomachβbut they donβt stay there long. He shifts his weight slightly, steady, controlled, one hand lifting off the mattress to catch your wrist.
His fingers close around itβnot tight, not forcefulβjust certain, guiding.
He lifts your hand above your head.
βJack,β you whisper. βIββ
He shushes you.
βLet me do this, okay?β His voice is rough, thick with something unsteady beneath itβsomething that makes your stomach knot. βIβve got you.β
And you believe him.
His hand slides down your body, slow and sure, brushing over your chest, your waist, the curve of your hipβeach touch deliberate, like heβs taking his time even now, even like this. His fingers hook at the inside of your thigh, grip firm as he nudges your leg wider.
βThatβs it,β he murmurs. βGood girl.β
The words go straight through you.
You can already feel the damp heat between your legs, the slick fabric pressed close, but the way he says itβthe way his voice dropsβmakes your hips shift up instinctively, chasing something you canβt quite reach.
Chasing him.
And he notices. Of course he does.
You only just catch the faint lift at the corner of his mouth before his lips are back on yours, swallowing the breath from you as your back arches, pressing yourself up into him without thinking. Your fingers curl into the sheets above your head, tension pulling tight through your body as everything narrows down to where heβs touching youβwhere he isnβt touching you.
His hand drags back up your thigh, slower this time. Intentional. And when his fingers finally press against you through the thin fabric, you gasp.
He takes the sound from you immediately, mouth moving against yours, deeper now, like heβs feeding off it, like every reaction just pushes him further. His fingers start to moveβslow, circling, testingβwhile his mouth leaves yours to trail along your jaw, your cheek, the side of your neck.
With your mouth free, the sounds slip out before you can stop them.
Soft. Unsteady. Needy.
And he loves it.
You feel it in the way his breath shifts, in the way his grip tightens just slightly, in the way his hips rockβslow, controlled, a subtle pressure of denim thatβs more suggestion than friction.
βJackββ your voice catches, breaking on his name. βPlease. I wantββ
βTell me, sweetheart,β he murmurs, mouth brushing your shoulder, voice low and coaxing.
βMore,β you manage, breath shaking. βNeed more.β
He groans against your skin, the sound low and rough, his body settling heavier over yours like any space between you is something he canβt stand.
Then his hand shifts.
Your breath catches as his fingers slide beneath the damp fabric, dragging through your wet heat in one slow, deliberate stroke.
Your whole body jolts. βFuckβJackββ
The reaction pulls something from himβa sharp inhale against your neck, his mouth pressing there like he needs to ground himself for a second before he loses it completely.
Youβve never felt like this before. Never this hot, this open, this aware of every inch of your own body.
And youβve never wanted anyone like this before.
βGod,β he murmurs, voice thick, lips tracing back up your throat. βYouβre so wet for me, sweetheart.β
All you can do is nod, whimpering softly, your hips lifting without permission, chasing him, asking for more without the wordsβand he gives it to you. Of course he does.
His finger slides inside you, slow at first, letting you feel itβthe stretch, the heatβbefore he pushes deeper, and the sound that breaks from you is swallowed instantly as his mouth finds yours again, your back arching beneath him as he starts to move. Not fast. Never fast. He sets a rhythm instead, steady and controlled, curling his finger just enough to make your breath catch, just enough to make your hips move against him again.
And when you press into it, when your body starts to chase that feeling properly, he adds another finger, the stretch pulling a broken sound from your throat as your hands tighten in the sheets and your body rolls beneath him, helpless to it now, completely caught in the slow, deliberate way he works you open.
Every movement is intentional. Every curl hits deeper, sharper, building something tight and aching low in your stomach that makes your whole body tremble, your breath coming out in uneven gasps as you press into his hand, chasing, needing.
Then his thumb finds your clit, and the contact is immediateβdevastating.
You cry out, sharp and breathless, your whole body tightening as he starts slow, deliberate circles that send heat spiralling through you, your hips lifting again, desperate now, unable to stay still under him.
You canβt answerβnot when his mouth is everywhere, your throat, your jaw, the corner of your mouth, like he canβt decide where he wants you most before he finds your lips again, and this time the kiss is different again. Hungrier. Messier. His tongue presses into your mouth just as his fingers push deeper, his thumb working harder, more deliberate now, and the moan that tears from you is swallowed whole.
βPlease,β you whimper against his mouth, breath breaking. βPlease, Iβneed you.β
He lifts his head, dark eyes searching yours, brows pulling together just slightly.
βYou sure?β
You stare at him, trying not to whimper as your whole body clenches around his stilled fingers, the sudden stillness almost worse than anything he was doing before.
βNever have I ever finished during sex, remember?β you manage, breathless but steady enough to land. βYou gonna fix that, or what?β
Something feral flickers across his face.
And then itβs goneβreplaced by something heavier. Something decided.
He kisses you again before you can catch your breath, all teeth and tongue, the restraint heβs been clinging to snapping clean in half as he groans into your mouth, the sound dragged straight from his chest. You feel the loss of his fingers immediately, your body protesting it, but itβs replaced just as quickly by the slow, deliberate roll of his hips, the friction of denim against your soaked panties making you gasp against him.
βFuck,β he breathes, like he canβt quite believe it.
He pulls back just enough to shift, bracing himself on one arm while the other moves to his belt, not rushed but far from steady now. Thereβs a hitch in his breath, a tension in the way his fingers work at it, shoving his jeans and briefs down just enough to free himself, and your gaze drops before you can stop it.
Heβs already hardβfully, heavilyβflushed and slick at the tip, and the sight of it sends a sharp pulse of heat straight through you, your mouth going dry even as your body reacts in the complete opposite way.
βFuckββ he chokes, the word breaking out of him. βI havenβt been this hard inββ His eyes flick back up to yours, dark and molten, and whatever he was going to say changes. ββever.β
It hits you low and deep, twisting something tight in your stomach that makes your hips shift under him without thinking. You finally let go of the sheets, your hands finding him, sliding up to wrap around his neck as you pull him back down, needing him closer, needing him everywhere.
Your legs come up around his waist, drawing him in, urging him forward, and his breath stutters as he presses in, his swollen tip dragging against the damp fabric between you. The contact is just enough to make your head fall back, a broken sound slipping from your throat as he triesβtriesβto hold himself up, one arm braced, the other moving between you.
You can feel the strain in him now, the way everything is slipping in real time, in the slight shake of his arm, in the uneven rhythm of his breathing as his hand hooks into the waistband of your panties.
βIβll buy you new ones,β he murmurs against your mouth, voice rough, almost distracted, like the thought barely registers before itβs gone. βPromise.β
And then the fabric gives.
The sound of it tearingβsharp, suddenβgoes straight through you, your breath catching hard as he pulls the fabric out of the way, the last barrier gone in an instant.
It shouldnβt be as hot as it is.
But it is.
Jack Abbotβcontrolled, composed, always holding the lineβlosing it enough to rip your panties off you?
Fuck.
He sinks into you in one steady thrust, and both of you gasp at the stretchβthe sudden, overwhelming closeness, the way want crashes hot and heavy between you. Your pulse hammers in your ears, that dizzy edge of fear and urgency tangling together until all you can think is himβhere, now, inside you.
For a moment, you just breatheβpant, reallyβeyes squeezed shut, hands locked on his shoulders as your body clenches around him, like youβre trying to keep him right there, like you never want to let him go. He drops his head to your neck, breath hot against your damp skin, and you feel the way it shakes out of him.
βYouβfuckβyouβre so tight, sweetheart,β he pants, voice rough and muffled where his mouth presses into you. βIβm not gonna lastββ
βThen donβt,β you murmur, your voice softer but no less certain. βJust fuck me. Please, Jack.β
A groan tears out of him, low and wrecked, and you feel it through his chest as he shifts above you, hips pulling back, his cock dragging against your walls in a way that makes your stomach coil tight, sparks chasing across your skin. You suck in a sharp breath, your grip tightening on himβand before you can brace, he drives forward again, deeper this time.
βFuckββ you cry out, the sound breaking loose without warning. βJackββ
He doesnβt stop. His hips roll back again, slower now, controlled in a way that almost makes it worse, his head lifting so he can look at you, really look at you, like heβs checking, like he needs to see it.
The anticipation coils tighter in your chest, sharp and electric, lighting up every nerve in your body until it almost hurts.
βMhm,β you manage, breath unsteady, nodding as your arms wind tighter around his neck, pulling him closer, needing him closer, like it still isnβt enough.
For a secondβjust a secondβyouβre distracted by something stupid, the feel of his shirt between you, the barrier of it, the way you want it gone, want skin on skin, want to see him, feel him, all of himβ
And then he thrusts forward again. Harder again. And the thought disappears completely.
Your body jolts beneath him, every movement knocking the breath from your lungs, and the sound that leaves you is loudβtoo loudβechoing back off the walls in a way that would make you self-conscious any other time.
But not now.
Right now, you donβt care who hears. Not when it feels like this.
His name spills from your lips in broken gasps, tangled with raw cries, and he answers with a rough sound against your shoulder, biting it back as his hips drive into you at a relentless pace. Heβs barely holding himself up now, his weight pressing into you in a way that feels like too much and somehow still not enough, the strain in him obvious in every uneven breath, every sharp exhale against your skin.
His hand drags down your side, back to your thigh, fingers digging in as he pushes your leg wider, and the shiftβsmall as it isβhits something deeper, sharper, your vision flashing white as your head tips back and the knot in your belly pulls tight. His grip slides to your hip, anchoring you there, holding you in place so every thrust lands exactly where it needs to, deep and unrelenting, the sound of it filling the room, wet and rhythmic and impossible to ignore beneath the broken sounds youβre both making.
And then his hand moves between you.
You feel it immediatelyβthe change, the focusβas his fingers find your clit in the slick mess between your bodies, steady despite everything else, despite the way heβs losing himself in every way. Your back arches, breath catching sharp as his touch turns deliberate, circling, pressing, coaxing, sending jolts of sensation straight through you until itβs too much, not enough, everything all at once.
βJackββ you whine, the sound falling apart as soon as it leaves you. βFuck, Iββ
βI know, sweetheart,β he mutters against your jaw, voice wrecked. βCome on my cock, yeah?β
Your hips lift to meet him without thinking, chasing the rhythm heβs set, chasing the pressure, the friction, the way heβs working you with a precision that feels almost cruel now. His hand doesnβt falter, his fingers moving with intent, building and building, every touch sending sharp bursts of pleasure up your spine as the tension in your stomach pulls tighter, tighter, until it feels like it might snap.
Itβs never felt like this before. Youβve never felt like this before.
Your whole body tightens, back arching, legs trembling around him as your hips grind up against his, desperate, chasing something you canβt hold onto. He keeps hitting that same spot, again and again, relentless, his pace rougher now, less controlled, while his fingers stay locked on you, steady, practiced, pushing you right to the edge and holding you there.
You cry out, the sound raw, breaking from your chest as everything finally tips.
The release hits all at onceβsharp, overwhelming, tearing through you in a rush that steals your breath and leaves nothing behind but heat and tension snapping loose. Your body locks up around him, tightening, pulsing, your hands gripping at him as your legs shake, your hips still moving against his like you canβt stop, like you donβt want to.
βFuck,β he groans, burying his face in your neck, his voice wrecked as he keeps moving inside youβslower now, but deeper, like heβs chasing every last pulse of you, like he doesnβt want to miss a second of it. βThatβs it. Thatβs my girl.β
His rhythm falters, hips stuttering, and then he loses it completelyβa broken sound tearing from him as he drives into you one last time, deep and hard, spilling inside you as his whole body tenses, shuddering above yours.
You feel itβevery part of itβthe way he comes undone, the way he clings to you through it, like he needs something to hold onto just as much as you do. Your bodies keep moving together, slower now, instinctive, chasing the last fading edges of it as your breathing stays uneven, your chests rising and falling in sync, skin slick and overheated where youβre pressed together.
It takes a moment to come back downβa long one.
But eventually, the tension drains from him and he collapses almost fully above you, face buried into your shoulder, his weight heavy and grounding as he exhales, slow and spent. It makes it a little harder to breatheβbut you donβt mind.
Not when you can feel his heartbeat against your chest, strong and real, still racing like yours.
-
For the first time in two weeks, Jack Abbot isnβt stupidly early for his shift. He couldnβt be, really. Because heβd woken up late this morning, limbs tangled with yours in warm sheets that smelled so much like you it made his head spinβand that had thrown off everything else he needed to get done today.
If it was up to him, he wouldnβt have left at allβbut he had to. He had police paperwork to finish, a neighbourβs cat to feed, and sleep he shouldβve caught up on before being back in charge of an entire emergency department for twelve hours. But on the bright side? He knows you have a swing shift today, which means he doesnβt need to be early to see you, because youβre going to be stuck at PTMC until at least ten p.m. tonight.
With him.
And he really shouldnβt be looking forward to that as much as he is.
βAfternoon, Dr. Abbot,β Dana says, glancing over the top of her glasses. βWasnβt sure weβd see you today. Arenβt you usually here by now?β
βIβm on time,β Jack mutters. βIβm a busy man.β
Dana hums, the corner of her mouth lifting slightly as her eyes drop back down to the tablet in her hands.
Jack tries not to appear too conspicuous as he scans the department, glancing toward the trauma bays and South corridor as he passes the nursesβ station. He shouldnβt be this anxious to see you againβnot in the apprehensive kind of way, but in the way that makes it feel like his lungs wonβt quite fill until youβre near him again.
βSheβs not here,β Dana says without looking up from her chart. βWasnβt feeling well, so Ellis came in early.β
Jack spots Ellis across central, exiting one of the rooms with Santos at her side, and he opens his mouth to say somethingβdefend himself, maybe, lie about what or who he was looking forβbut he hesitates, unsure what he could say that wouldnβt incriminate him further.
So instead, he just drops his head and keeps walking, fumbling for his phone in his pocket.
Heβd seen you this morning. Just this morning. You were sleepy, had a headache, so he got you water and Tylenol and kissed you before he leftβbut you hadnβt said anything about feeling so unwell you were going to call in sick.
Jack doesnβt stop until he reaches the lockers, then turns back to survey the ED one last time before leaning a shoulder against the wall and pulling up his text thread with you. He hadnβt texted you today because he knew heβd see you tonight and didnβt want to seemβ¦ overbearing. Even now, heβs not sure if he shouldβbut he feels off in a way he hasnβt in years, like heβs waiting on something he canβt control and itβs making him feel sick.
What if last night hadnβt meant what he thought it did? What if you regretted it? What if it was justβ
βHey, kid,β Dana calls from the nursesβ station. βBig night?β
Jackβs head snaps upβand there you are.
The relief hits before he can stop it, sharp and instant, loosening something in his chest he hadnβt realised was wound so tight. He swallows it down just as quickly, his expression settling before anyone can clock it.
βYou donβt know the half of it,β you mutter.
Dana huffs a short laugh. βI have a feeling I donβt want to know.β
Jack canβt help but watch as you cross the floor toward him, your backpack hanging from one shoulder while the other hand presses two fingers to your temple, like you could massage the headache away. Thereβs a smug little smile on your lips when you reach him, slowing your steps until you pause just beside himβnot too close, but enough to make his breath catch.
You glance down at his phone, at the open message thread where his thumb is hovering, and your smirk curves a little higher.
βMiss me?β
Jack locks his phone and tucks it back into his pocket.
βThought you were sick.β
You lift one shoulder. βA little hungover, so Ellis swapped with me.β
For a second, neither of you move. He just looks at youβand you look right back, like you both know exactly whatβs changed, even if neither of you is about to say it out loud. Not here. Not now.
βAnd I missed the night shift attending,β you say finally.
Thenβbefore he can respond, before heβs even fully processed what you saidβyou lean in and press a quick kiss to his cheek. Only brief. Barely anything.
But it feels like everything.
And just like that, Jack Abbot is done pretending he isnβt yours.
β synopsis: after attending church for the first time out of curiosity, you keep having thoughts about the surprisingly hot priest. who better to confess your sin to than the man himself?
β contains: mutual masturbation, sexual things happening in a church
β word count: 2.1k
β author's note: i'm so late to the father jud fic train but i'm still so obsessed, sue me. i hope theres still an audience for stuff about him
masterlist
you've never been a religious person, but there was something about our lady of perpetual fortitude that just seemed to pique your interest. perhaps it was the stories you'd heard about the church's tainted past, some great pull from the universe, or simply boredom in the quiet little town of chimney rock that draws you into mass one sunday.
father jud notices you almost immediately. his congregation was a regular group of believers, but you were something different, someone new. you and your bright eyes, looking around at the stained glass and high ceilings stuck out, and jud could feel something stirring in him he'd been trying hard to surpress. his gaze flickers over to you throughout the service, the eye contact shooting nerves straight into your stomach. who knew that priests could be so hot? you were expecting an older man rattling on about some sleepy verses, not someone like him, and certainly not the edge of a tattoo you had noticed on the side of his neck. you had to stop yourself wondering what the rest of it looked like or if there were any others hidden away and remind yourself where you were.
after the service, jud greats some of the regulars before coming up to you, dressed in his decorated vestments that, unfortunately for you, leaves a lot up to the imagination.
'i don't think i've seen you here before, is this your first time with us?'
'yeah iβve..never been to a service before,' you admit, slightly embarrased and hoping he didn't notice you badly mouthing along to the earlier hymns.
'well you're always welcome. i'm jud,' he smiles warmly, offering his hand for you to shake. you take it. it's large and slightly calloused, and you notice a few rough scars that line his knuckles before he pulls away. you tell him your name and he repeats almost to himself, which you can't help but find attractive in his calm, sweet tone.
'will you give confession?' jud asks, motioning toward the booth in the corner of the hall where a few of the congregation were waiting.
you ponder the suggestion. sure, youβve committed your fair share of sins. some drinking here and there, and the occasional spot of premarital sex, but you weren't about to unload all of that onto father jud. the thought of it frankly seemed embarrasing; sitting and telling this infuriatingly attractive man all of your wrongdoings, and then having to face him again in broad daylight.
'i don't think so, father,' you say, nervously. for a second, he almost looks disappointed.
'please, no father. just jud is fine. we don't need to be too formal,β he insists.
'okay, jud,' you say, smiling as you emphasise his name. he smiles back. 'i'll see you next sunday.'
whilst the thought of confession felt scary, simple service you think you could handle, especially as it meant seeing jud every sunday. as the next few weeks went by, you began to show up at our lady of perpetual fortitude more and more often. at first just observing, then joining in, and even sometimes coming in early to help jud set up for service. but when the time came each week for confession, you just couldn't bring yourself to do it.
-
it's a saturday night and you're restless. your entire body feels far too warm, and no matter what position you twist yourself into, sleep just wonβt hit you. eventually, you resign, staring up at the ceiling and letting your mind wander. recently, its far too often been wandering to the same place - father jud.
you know it's wrong, but he's quickly become the subject of most of your sexual fantasies. sometimes it's him eating you out as you lay on one of the church pews, other times it's being bent over the edge of the lecturn at the front of the hall, but most always he's still in his priestly attire, black shirt sleeves rolled up his forearms and thin layer of sweat across his brow. the image was always enough to turn you on, and until now you'd never thought about doing anything about it. but right now sleeping isnβt an option, and you've already scrolled through your phone in the dark long enough to grow tired of it. slowly, you reach a hand down to press against your clit, instinctively closing your eyes. as you work away, you picture jud's in their place, or his cock filling you up so perfectly and before long you're a whimpering mess cumming around your fingers. almost instantly you're hit with an unfamiliar wave of shame. thinking about fucking the man you see every sunday, that good, honest man you smile at and talk to about your job and your family felt wrong. sinful, even. now, judβs offer of confession wasnβt sounding like such a terrible idea.
-
the next evening after sunday mass, you wait quietly whilst other members of the congregation give their confession until only you remain. by now the early evening light has almost faded, aside from a few streaks of the setting sun drawn across the cobbled floor. everything else is submerged in a soft shadow as you step inside the booth and draw the curtain.
in the small space you can feel father jud's presence beside you in the dark. his face is obscured slightly by the latticed window between you, but even then you can make out his mess of brown hair, and that damn tattoo peeking out from his clerical collar.
'bless me father, for i have sinned. it's been...' you start, then pause. 'actually i've...i've never done this before.'
'that's okay, i'm not here to judge you. just tell me what's been weighing you down,β you can hear that sweet smile of his without even seeing it. maybe this will be harder than you thought.
'i've been having these thoughts, father,' you say hestitantly, the back of your neck growing hot, from embarrasment or the closeness of the space you can't tell.
through the divider, you notice jud's head unconciously cock toward you, watching as his throat bobs. 'what kind of thoughts?'
the silence before you speak again is long and heavy. 'i met someone, recently, and i keep thinking about them even though i know i'm not supposed to. and i know they have no interest in me, or they can't have an interest in me, but...i can't help it. they don't even want me that way.' you take a breath, swallowing back the shame and the whimper that was beginning to rise in your throat. 'these thoughts...they're wrong father.'
now the silence was replaced by your nervous breathing, as well as jud's, which had grown more noticeable with each word you said. he must know it was you by now. there was no way he couldn't.
little did you know, he was aware the second you stepped into that booth that it was you, just as he knew as soon as you waltzed into our lady of perpetual fortitude that he was completely and utterly fucked. he felt like god was testing his self-control, trying to take all of his years of hard work and absolutely shatter them. jud told himself he had changed, but the sight of you had brought him right back, and late at night the thought of your face, your body, your pretty lips wrapped around his cock reminded him that he wasn't a saint. he was just a man.
he swallows thickly. 'do you ever touch yourself when you have these thoughts?'
the heat from your face is suddenly sent between your thighs as you press them together and subtly grind down into the wooden seat beneath you.
'yes.'
just then, you swear you hear a low groan in the back of father jud's throat. maybe he did want you in the same way, even a little? you know itβs a stupidly hopeful, and stupidly horny thought. he was a priest and, thanks to your late night google searches over the last few weeks, you now know that priests cannot have sex, much to your dissapointment.
but they doesn't mean they don't think about it. all the while whilst he'd been in his attic bedroom, trying and failing miserably not to picture you thinking of him with your hands between your thighs, now he's learns you've actually been doing it. jud wonders briefly if the two of you had ever been getting off at the same time, you fucking yourself with your fingers whilst his hand wraps tight around his cock, shamefully biting back moans so as to not alert the new church secretary. the thought of it isnβt right in his position of trust, he knows this, but that doesn't stop his dick growing hard at the image of you laying their, eyes shut in concentration desperately chasing your orgasm. he silently curses his body for betraying him.
on the other side of the divider, the friction youβre getting from gently pressing your clothed clit against your seat just isnβt enough. against your better judgement, you reach a tentative hand down to cup your pussy to try and somewhat quell the ache between your thighs, at least a little. you promise yourself you won't go any further. you were in a church, for fucks sake, and father jud is right beside you.
'are you touching yourself right now?' jud breathes. immediately, you yank your hand away and begin profusely denying his accusation. his correct accusation. he laughs quietly, knowingly. 'you know lying is a sin, don't you?'
shit shit shit you think, already projecting a future where everyone finds out you're some sex-crazed pervert caught jerking off in a confession booth when you hear father jud make a sound, half sigh, half groan.
'do you know how hard it is for me not to come in there and fuck you right now?'
oh. so he did think about you in that way. his voice is low and desperate, as if speaking any quieter means god somehow won't hear him. the vulgarity on his tongue shocks you, but you drink it right up, pressing your thighs even closer together, clenching around nothing.
'father...' you say, the word coming out more like a whine than you had intended.
'what did i say about calling me that?'
his resolve was snapping and fast. he begins to palm at his cock through his trousers, hissing at the contact.
'i didn't tell you to stop.'
on jud's command, your hand makes it's way back down, this time slipping underneath the waistband of your underwear as you begin making circles on your clit, just like you did the night before. you're embarrasingly wet despite not even being able to see him, but the whole situation is so damn erotic you just can't help it. beside you, you hear the clink of jud's belt unbuckling as he pulls out his aching cock. you imagine what he looks like right now - left hand wrapped around his length, head back against the wooden panelling, eyes shut tight. just wanting to fuck you and knowing he just can't. you move your hand further down to push a finger inside your pussy, letting out a moan as you do so. jud groans back in response, letting your name fall softly out of his mouth as he starts to pump his cock.
the two of you both know how wrong what you're doing is wrong but neither of you dares stop. jud pictures how pretty he knows you look on the other side of the wall, just as sweaty and desperate as he is, and probably just as close. the intensity of the situation has built you up so much you can feel your release approaching faster than usual and jud's celibate status as a priest means he isn't far behind. you can hear him growing louder, more sloppy, the tiny cubicles filled with the obscene sounds of slapping skin and moans. you slip in another finger.
'jud, please,' you whimper, bucking your hips up into your hand. you know his large fingers could do a much better job at filling you up, but you also know he can't touch you and it's fucking killing you. it's probably also what's making you so hot.
'fuck i'm so close. fuck, fuck,' he repeats like a mantra, like a prayer. you're both building and building, the feeling in your stomach pooling. as he says your name once more you're pushed over the edge, whimpering and mewling with one hand pressed against the wooden wall beside you. jud moans as he cums without thinking, letting it spill out onto his clothed stomach.
there's only the sound of heavy breathing as you both sit there coming down your respective highs. when you turn your head the latticed window on your left, jud is already looking over at you, watching your fucked out face through the divider. the two of you smile at eachother.
β synopsis: after attending church for the first time out of curiosity, you keep having thoughts about the surprisingly hot priest. who better to confess your sin to than the man himself?
β contains: mutual masturbation, sexual things happening in a church
β word count: 2.1k
β author's note: i'm so late to the father jud fic train but i'm still so obsessed, sue me. i hope theres still an audience for stuff about him
masterlist
you've never been a religious person, but there was something about our lady of perpetual fortitude that just seemed to pique your interest. perhaps it was the stories you'd heard about the church's tainted past, some great pull from the universe, or simply boredom in the quiet little town of chimney rock that draws you into mass one sunday.
father jud notices you almost immediately. his congregation was a regular group of believers, but you were something different, someone new. you and your bright eyes, looking around at the stained glass and high ceilings stuck out, and jud could feel something stirring in him he'd been trying hard to surpress. his gaze flickers over to you throughout the service, the eye contact shooting nerves straight into your stomach. who knew that priests could be so hot? you were expecting an older man rattling on about some sleepy verses, not someone like him, and certainly not the edge of a tattoo you had noticed on the side of his neck. you had to stop yourself wondering what the rest of it looked like or if there were any others hidden away and remind yourself where you were.
after the service, jud greats some of the regulars before coming up to you, dressed in his decorated vestments that, unfortunately for you, leaves a lot up to the imagination.
'i don't think i've seen you here before, is this your first time with us?'
'yeah iβve..never been to a service before,' you admit, slightly embarrased and hoping he didn't notice you badly mouthing along to the earlier hymns.
'well you're always welcome. i'm jud,' he smiles warmly, offering his hand for you to shake. you take it. it's large and slightly calloused, and you notice a few rough scars that line his knuckles before he pulls away. you tell him your name and he repeats almost to himself, which you can't help but find attractive in his calm, sweet tone.
'will you give confession?' jud asks, motioning toward the booth in the corner of the hall where a few of the congregation were waiting.
you ponder the suggestion. sure, youβve committed your fair share of sins. some drinking here and there, and the occasional spot of premarital sex, but you weren't about to unload all of that onto father jud. the thought of it frankly seemed embarrasing; sitting and telling this infuriatingly attractive man all of your wrongdoings, and then having to face him again in broad daylight.
'i don't think so, father,' you say, nervously. for a second, he almost looks disappointed.
'please, no father. just jud is fine. we don't need to be too formal,β he insists.
'okay, jud,' you say, smiling as you emphasise his name. he smiles back. 'i'll see you next sunday.'
whilst the thought of confession felt scary, simple service you think you could handle, especially as it meant seeing jud every sunday. as the next few weeks went by, you began to show up at our lady of perpetual fortitude more and more often. at first just observing, then joining in, and even sometimes coming in early to help jud set up for service. but when the time came each week for confession, you just couldn't bring yourself to do it.
-
it's a saturday night and you're restless. your entire body feels far too warm, and no matter what position you twist yourself into, sleep just wonβt hit you. eventually, you resign, staring up at the ceiling and letting your mind wander. recently, its far too often been wandering to the same place - father jud.
you know it's wrong, but he's quickly become the subject of most of your sexual fantasies. sometimes it's him eating you out as you lay on one of the church pews, other times it's being bent over the edge of the lecturn at the front of the hall, but most always he's still in his priestly attire, black shirt sleeves rolled up his forearms and thin layer of sweat across his brow. the image was always enough to turn you on, and until now you'd never thought about doing anything about it. but right now sleeping isnβt an option, and you've already scrolled through your phone in the dark long enough to grow tired of it. slowly, you reach a hand down to press against your clit, instinctively closing your eyes. as you work away, you picture jud's in their place, or his cock filling you up so perfectly and before long you're a whimpering mess cumming around your fingers. almost instantly you're hit with an unfamiliar wave of shame. thinking about fucking the man you see every sunday, that good, honest man you smile at and talk to about your job and your family felt wrong. sinful, even. now, judβs offer of confession wasnβt sounding like such a terrible idea.
-
the next evening after sunday mass, you wait quietly whilst other members of the congregation give their confession until only you remain. by now the early evening light has almost faded, aside from a few streaks of the setting sun drawn across the cobbled floor. everything else is submerged in a soft shadow as you step inside the booth and draw the curtain.
in the small space you can feel father jud's presence beside you in the dark. his face is obscured slightly by the latticed window between you, but even then you can make out his mess of brown hair, and that damn tattoo peeking out from his clerical collar.
'bless me father, for i have sinned. it's been...' you start, then pause. 'actually i've...i've never done this before.'
'that's okay, i'm not here to judge you. just tell me what's been weighing you down,β you can hear that sweet smile of his without even seeing it. maybe this will be harder than you thought.
'i've been having these thoughts, father,' you say hestitantly, the back of your neck growing hot, from embarrasment or the closeness of the space you can't tell.
through the divider, you notice jud's head unconciously cock toward you, watching as his throat bobs. 'what kind of thoughts?'
the silence before you speak again is long and heavy. 'i met someone, recently, and i keep thinking about them even though i know i'm not supposed to. and i know they have no interest in me, or they can't have an interest in me, but...i can't help it. they don't even want me that way.' you take a breath, swallowing back the shame and the whimper that was beginning to rise in your throat. 'these thoughts...they're wrong father.'
now the silence was replaced by your nervous breathing, as well as jud's, which had grown more noticeable with each word you said. he must know it was you by now. there was no way he couldn't.
little did you know, he was aware the second you stepped into that booth that it was you, just as he knew as soon as you waltzed into our lady of perpetual fortitude that he was completely and utterly fucked. he felt like god was testing his self-control, trying to take all of his years of hard work and absolutely shatter them. jud told himself he had changed, but the sight of you had brought him right back, and late at night the thought of your face, your body, your pretty lips wrapped around his cock reminded him that he wasn't a saint. he was just a man.
he swallows thickly. 'do you ever touch yourself when you have these thoughts?'
the heat from your face is suddenly sent between your thighs as you press them together and subtly grind down into the wooden seat beneath you.
'yes.'
just then, you swear you hear a low groan in the back of father jud's throat. maybe he did want you in the same way, even a little? you know itβs a stupidly hopeful, and stupidly horny thought. he was a priest and, thanks to your late night google searches over the last few weeks, you now know that priests cannot have sex, much to your dissapointment.
but they doesn't mean they don't think about it. all the while whilst he'd been in his attic bedroom, trying and failing miserably not to picture you thinking of him with your hands between your thighs, now he's learns you've actually been doing it. jud wonders briefly if the two of you had ever been getting off at the same time, you fucking yourself with your fingers whilst his hand wraps tight around his cock, shamefully biting back moans so as to not alert the new church secretary. the thought of it isnβt right in his position of trust, he knows this, but that doesn't stop his dick growing hard at the image of you laying their, eyes shut in concentration desperately chasing your orgasm. he silently curses his body for betraying him.
on the other side of the divider, the friction youβre getting from gently pressing your clothed clit against your seat just isnβt enough. against your better judgement, you reach a tentative hand down to cup your pussy to try and somewhat quell the ache between your thighs, at least a little. you promise yourself you won't go any further. you were in a church, for fucks sake, and father jud is right beside you.
'are you touching yourself right now?' jud breathes. immediately, you yank your hand away and begin profusely denying his accusation. his correct accusation. he laughs quietly, knowingly. 'you know lying is a sin, don't you?'
shit shit shit you think, already projecting a future where everyone finds out you're some sex-crazed pervert caught jerking off in a confession booth when you hear father jud make a sound, half sigh, half groan.
'do you know how hard it is for me not to come in there and fuck you right now?'
oh. so he did think about you in that way. his voice is low and desperate, as if speaking any quieter means god somehow won't hear him. the vulgarity on his tongue shocks you, but you drink it right up, pressing your thighs even closer together, clenching around nothing.
'father...' you say, the word coming out more like a whine than you had intended.
'what did i say about calling me that?'
his resolve was snapping and fast. he begins to palm at his cock through his trousers, hissing at the contact.
'i didn't tell you to stop.'
on jud's command, your hand makes it's way back down, this time slipping underneath the waistband of your underwear as you begin making circles on your clit, just like you did the night before. you're embarrasingly wet despite not even being able to see him, but the whole situation is so damn erotic you just can't help it. beside you, you hear the clink of jud's belt unbuckling as he pulls out his aching cock. you imagine what he looks like right now - left hand wrapped around his length, head back against the wooden panelling, eyes shut tight. just wanting to fuck you and knowing he just can't. you move your hand further down to push a finger inside your pussy, letting out a moan as you do so. jud groans back in response, letting your name fall softly out of his mouth as he starts to pump his cock.
the two of you both know how wrong what you're doing is wrong but neither of you dares stop. jud pictures how pretty he knows you look on the other side of the wall, just as sweaty and desperate as he is, and probably just as close. the intensity of the situation has built you up so much you can feel your release approaching faster than usual and jud's celibate status as a priest means he isn't far behind. you can hear him growing louder, more sloppy, the tiny cubicles filled with the obscene sounds of slapping skin and moans. you slip in another finger.
'jud, please,' you whimper, bucking your hips up into your hand. you know his large fingers could do a much better job at filling you up, but you also know he can't touch you and it's fucking killing you. it's probably also what's making you so hot.
'fuck i'm so close. fuck, fuck,' he repeats like a mantra, like a prayer. you're both building and building, the feeling in your stomach pooling. as he says your name once more you're pushed over the edge, whimpering and mewling with one hand pressed against the wooden wall beside you. jud moans as he cums without thinking, letting it spill out onto his clothed stomach.
there's only the sound of heavy breathing as you both sit there coming down your respective highs. when you turn your head the latticed window on your left, jud is already looking over at you, watching your fucked out face through the divider. the two of you smile at eachother.
β hi loves, you can call me maya β eighteen β she/her β
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confession - after attending church for the first time out of curiosity, you keep having thoughts about the surprisingly hot priest. who better to confess your sin to than the man himself?
β the bear: carmen berzatto, richie jerimovich, mikey berzatto
β the pitt: dr. michael 'robby' robinavitch, dr. jack abbott
β doctor who: ten, eleven
β succession: roman roy, kendall roy
β stranger things: steve harrington
β misc: rodrick heffley, father jud duplenticy, ilya rozanov
β YES MAβAM:
β iβm cool with writing: angst, fluff and smut
β in regards to smut: praise and/or degradation, breeding, size kink, age gap, titles (sir, daddy, etc.), age gap (nothing illegal obviously), fauxcest
β NO-GOS:
β i will not write: anal, piss, scat, r*pe, pet-play, foot stuff
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