Jae's Page

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Alli Logout, Nashville 2019 Selling poster prints, ‘Xerox’ style to raise money for Alli ❧ 18″ x 24″ OR 11″ x 17″ vellum - $20 - $25 (or more!)  All funds go directly to Alli Logout.  email [email protected] for purchasing information. 

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Just like me when I’m red when I’m ready when I’m writing to you - lara rodriguez

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Los Angeles, California November, 2018 Hollywood Angels Jess’ Tattoos Airport kissers: Jess and Sky

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Los Angeles, California November, 2018 Boan LA’s Most Famous Miserable live at Zebulon  Mel and Teeny Cat

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Joshua Tree State Park - California, November 2018

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Chasms + Sextile at Felte Celebration - LA, California November 2018

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Vallo smoking, April 2018 Vallo’s birthday cake, April 2018 Luis and Marco, April 2018 Vallo in Joshua Tree - his birthday, April 2018

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Lara + crab legs, October 2018 Cam + Gus, October 2018 Daniel Bachman, October 2018 Carbon in diner, October 2018 Profligate @ Secret Project Robot, October 2018 Rachel + Mary as possessed, October 2018

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Dean Blunt, Marshstepper @ HOCO Festival - Tucson, AZ August 2018

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NGHTCRWLR at HOCO Festival - Tucson, AZ August 2018

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"I am fucking her. I am killing her"

(read in a diary in 2010)

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Down House / Bedroom - ATL - January 2016

I’m not a guest, ‘cause I wasn’t invited (Alee Hosher)

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Bedroom / Studio - ATL - January 2016 

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Fist City - Savannah - January 2016

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8.17.15

I am looking at a photograph of the ocean. The sky is overcast and the driftwood is alien, in abundant form. 

My stomach aches. Where the fuck am I. 

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Ca Va

The show won’t begin until well after midnight and it’s too hot and awkward to try and talk to people. I hide in the kitchen smoking cigarettes out the open window.  It was never really confirmed as to whether or not I could smoke inside, so I just close the door and lean on the fridge.

Everyone here speaks in a thick french accent. Their voices are deep. Even the women. Ca Va scraps at the bottom of the barrel, with dark red lips and aloof bedroom eyes. I am jealous. French women are the pinnacle of strength and sex.

In contrast, I feel stupid and useless. A piece of plastic that might break.

This boy enters the kitchen and I try to hide my cigarette. In my mind he lives in the apartment. He waves me off. He lights his own. Nobody lives in the apartment.

No worry. No worry.

I am ashamed by my body’s reaction to him. He is young and quiet. Yet loose. His eyelids are fat and he sneers, a whole blunt to himself. And I feel like I want to fuck him. Not here or now, just in general. Like, it’s a possibility. I blush.

Perhaps he’s curious about me too.

Why is this American so ... sweaty?

Everyone in Canada seems so pale.

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love plums

I love the plums. Asian plums. My sister bought them for me, yesterday.

They look like marbles and sit sour in my mouth. I am afraid I will eat them all and have none to look at. So I put them in the glass bowl that I know not to touch. 

I feed my dog less food, because I worry about buying more. It makes me a terrible friend. But, I am afraid to ask Him for more money and I think my dog and I can live on a little less food anyway.

I live off Him now.  

I try to make that okay. I could turn on the oven. But I don’t know how to cook.

I leave the plum pits around the house, in the couch, on the counter, in the bed. I know he hates them, but I always forget where I put them until he finds them.

he holds his hand out, bloody wet pit sits in its center. fruit stigmata.

I drink a lot of water, even though what I really want is that beer in the fridge.

It’s 11 A.M.

I do also drink the beer. 

But I disguise it in little cups, so when he gets home from work it at first looks like a child’s cup of juice.