there is little words to describe friends in the english vocabulary. Or I lack the knowledge of them.
but in french, we've got "stages" of friendship, with their different noun.
connaissance - aquaintance
pote - aquaintance which you like
copain - someone you hang out with, chat with. you seek their company
ami - friend, in the sense that you can rely on them. they have your back. they are your people
meilleur ami - best friend
and well. I thought i had four "amis". i asked for help. to two of them. they postponed helping me.
i was angry. then i thought i was overreacting. but i talked about it to my oldest friend. and she cried.
because she was sad for me, sad that i did not got the help i needed when i needed it. i didn't even told her the details (it's all a bit sordid) and she was just.... genuinly sad for me. so sad she cried.
and she made herself available to me after that, planned our next hangout, texted to me that she was there the next day.
so. i know those two people from whom i asked help are not my "amis". they are my "copaines".
but i have this wonderful person in my life also. who took the time to listen to me. who cried for me, when i haven't cried for myself for years. who was - and is - there for me.
and yeah. i have invested myself in those two relationship as if they were my "amis". but they arn't, that much is clear. so. i'm gonna take a step back.
because i deserve people in my life that cry for me when i don't feel as if my feelings are justified.
