“ honestly i'm not even trying to mansplain . . . i'm just trying to explain why i'm right. "
Not today Justin
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@lvenderhaze
“ honestly i'm not even trying to mansplain . . . i'm just trying to explain why i'm right. "
“ you could’ve moved on to anyone else . . . why her ? ”
“ you walked in and immediately left me, seems like you want to enjoy the party without me. you’ve known me long enough to know this isn’t my thing anymore so obviously no, i’m not. ”
“ don’t make this a bigger deal then it needs to be. i had to go say hello to mitch because he’s the one who invited us . . . duh. okay well , fine. if you’re hating it so much , there’s the door. ”
“ begging ? you’re joking. trust me, there’s nothing to beg for here. you must’ve forgot but i have friends here too. plus, your bros are the ones that invited me. guess they’re not that good of friends if they’re the ones begging for me. but you wouldn’t care knowing i could be moaning one of their names tonight because you don’t do jealous, right ? oh wait . . . i know that’s not true. we both know if i asked you to go upstairs and fuck me, you wouldn’t say no. why would i need to beg when you were already spending the night sleeping all over me like some possessive boyfriend ? maybe YOU should get your story straight, buddy. ”
“ nice try . . . i’m sure my bros only invited you here because they know you’re easy and would come. you can keep trying to get a reaction out of me but , it’s not gonna work. doesn’t bother me at all because we both know you’ll have to fake it with them but , if that’s how you want to spend your night . . . more power to you. actually , if you asked , i’d laugh in your face and reject you. been there , done that or whatever that saying is. to be fair , i was enjoying your mattress more than the company next to me. so , don’t worry . . . buddy. won’t happen again , i can promise you that. if anything , i hope you find someone else tonight. and for your sake , i’ll pretend i’m not gonna be on your mind the entire time. ”
“ hopefully you’re not wasting your time on me when he’s somewhere in this room . . . oh come on , i could’ve said much worse. give me some credit. time for me to really test my luck tonight then. well it sounds like you need a distraction and i’m only looking for some fun so we can save the truths and be a little risky tonight. dares only , if you’re game. hmmm, let’s see. i dare you to send a pic of us to your ex to show him what he’s missing out on. whatever you want it to be, i’m down. ”
“ you’re supposed to prove me wrong , and not just practically admit defeat. y’know , fine . . . save your worse for your next girl. a little risky ? if you say so. a picture of us ? are you sure this isn’t just an excuse so i’ll kiss you already ? but fine . . . you said whatever i want ? cute. gonna need you to sit down for this , and perhaps . . . gonna need you to look at me like i’m the hottest person you’ve ever seen. ”
“ oh really ? and what exactly is this back up plan ? might even be reaching that best friend title . . . wow, how’d you know 2 is my lucky number ? feels like fate to me. this is why you just buy a keg or three and call it a day. they can bring their own angry orchard, EW. you really do want to get me in trouble. fine i can agree to two and we split the half but i’m not responsible for my behavior after ! ”
“ i’ll convince them that you have a twin and it was actually her . . . but she took off and fled the country , easy as that. might even , huh ? what an honor. do i have time to deliver a speech ? fate it is. hey , i got kegs too in the back by the pool. i just wanted everyone to have a good time . . . sue me. maybe i just wanna see you let loose and have some fun. okay , perfect. i will take all responsibility and i will even make sure you get home safe and sound too. ”
“ can’t believe i already blew it. guess i’ve gotta go return the ring already. oh, i know i’m the lucky one, no argument here. just you wait for my rendition of all star, it’s pretty hard to resist. i can pretty much bet on a kiss by the end of the night. come on, that’s not true. truth or dare is only fun if people choose dare and usually people are way too scared to do that. are you gonna actually choose dare ? ”
“ and here i was about to call my papa and tell him i finally found the one . . . bummer. all star ? you’re not giving me much to work with here. honestly , if that works , i’ll be generous and give you multiple kisses . . . see , that’s why i like it so much. daring someone is the only reason i play. if it were up to me , i’d be a game of dare or dare but you’re right about one thing. most people are cowards and chicken out but , i’m hoping this won’t be one of those nights so . . . go ahead. do your worst. give me a dare , and please make it good. ”
“ one of my many talents, as you already know. our idea of care is insanely different considering i couldn’t care less about your opinion. hey, i saw you practically drooling over here, figured i’d do my charity work for the month. you’re welcome. you mean he’s acting exactly like you were? interesting. not sure why you’re keeping track of which guys are good lays but you’re not allowed to watch, sorry. clingy like how you used to follow me around like i had you on a leash ? nice try. ”
“ ironic. you keep saying that and yet , you are constantly here . . . practically begging for my opinion. drooling ? you’re so full of yourself. i was simply enjoying my time , drinking with my bros before you walked in and ruined the entire vibe. hey , don’t blame me for trying to get rid of you. couldn’t care less about if it’s good , just trying to get you off my dick . . . oh , that’s the story you’re delusionally telling ? pretty sure it was the other way around. can almost still hear you begging for me to stay every morning but , whatever you say. ”
“ didn’t say you were scanning, just nice of you to finally grace me with your presence, i was pretty sure you forgot you even brought me here. ”
“ sorry i wanted to enjoy the party and not just hide in the corner. obviously , i remembered you . . . why are you being like this ? are you not . . . having fun ? ”
“ can’t believe you’re trying to set me up to get arrested. and here i thought you were my friend . . . ‘ you ladies ’ huh ? so i’m just one on your long list. but no, i’m definitely not a hard cider girlie. definitely a tequila shot but only one , i’m trying to be good tonight. ”
“ hey , at least i have a back up plan of how to get you out if that ever happens. that’s a true friend there . . . why doubt me ? you’re top 2 at least but , i just had to buy a shit ton of ciders so that’s why it’s fresh on my mind. one tequila shot coming up . . . or maybe a couple , c’mon. don’t be a party pooper. i need a drinking buddy , at least commit to two and a half. ”
“ so what i’m hearing is we start with a drinking game. something cliche like never have i ever which would inevitably lead into karaoke because honestly, when does it not ? can’t say i’m any good at poker so i guess that’ll just leave us stripping on the beach. maybe even a kiss or two if you’re lucky, who knows. ”
“ if i’m lucky , huh ? was gonna say i was starting to hear wedding bells already but , then you ruined it. typical. trust me . . . if anyone is the lucky one here , it’s gonna be you. i never kiss on the first meeting but , depending on how well you serenade me during karaoke , i might take it easy on you. for now though , i’ll go along with you. sounds like an fun night. however . . . i prefer truth or dare. never have i ever is lame and never leads to anything interesting. ”
“ yet that still sounds like yet another lie out of your mouth. but that’s your specialty, isn’t it ? trust me, there’s NO hoping going on here. i could have literally any guy in this room right now, why would i ever hope it would be you ? ”
“ it’s like having my own personal lie detector. again , adorable that you care so much. you say that and yet , here you are . . . can’t ever seem to get rid of you no matter how hard i try. honestly , at this rate , i’ll help you find any other guy to bother. see that asshole in the corner ? the one who’s leaning against the wall trying to look cool ? heard he’s fun , and likes them self-centered and clingy. match made in heaven. "
“ well. is there something i should be jealous about ? ”
“ damn , i’ve been caught. i’m totally scanning the room , thinking about every guy i’m gonna go fuck in all these rooms . . . like , are you joking right now ? ”
“ i wouldn’t want to take you away from everyone else though . . . but fine, just one drink. ”
“ will happily tell everyone you’re holding me hostage , don’t even worry . . . great , and what are you feeling tonight ? a tequila night or one of those lame hard ciders you ladies all love recently ? ”
THE SUMMER I TURNED PRETTY 3.01, “Last Season”
“ who said anything about being a jealous boyfriend ? ”
“ . . . i’m just saying that’s the vibe you’re giving off. ”
“ don’t act like you didn’t show up here expecting to see me. everyone can see right through you. ”
“ not everything i do revolves around you anymore , trust me. everyone ? dream on. the only people looking through me are the ones hoping i still care so . . . think that just leaves you. ”