Dark Paradise

Hello to my dear readers! MASTERLIST is on the pinned post. Do not forget to leave me your words after reading my words!

[queen--paradise]

Welcome to the Dark Paradise, leave your innocence behind; it won’t serve you here...

I'm the writer of doomed hearts and monsters who worship them...

My original work His Moonlit Obsession is on AO3. I'm here to talk with you guys, respond to your questions about the stories, and release my other shorter works. Every comment makes a smile to bloom on my face and my mind to continue making scenarios for my stories. I appreciate everyone who supports me and leaves comments, asks, and massages for me💕

Masterlist

✔️Lost In Him

Status: ongoing

*Dark explicit content including rape, non-con element, kidnapping and etc.*

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

[queen--paradise]

Hello, my dear lovely friends!

After a long time, I'm posting an update. First, I want to apologize for not being able to respond earlier to those few people who have massaged me or sent asks to see how I'm doing (especially our dear Munhuz💖). I hope you understand that I've no intention to ignore you guys. If any of you has ever felt like that, I'm sorry.💔

Last week, I decided to reread HMO from the first chapter to get the hold of the storyline back. I could just do 4 chapters before having another mental breakdown the next day. But I want to let you know that I don't have any intentions to leave my works behind. I'm trying to get better to start writing again.

For Munhuz, who had asked what happened to my previous house: my landlord passed away, and his son came back from Europe to sell the apartment. I tried to reason with him as my contract had 6 months left, and I had been living in that house for 7 years, but he didn’t accept. He said he is in a rush and needs the money to buy a house where he's currently living with his wife (I don't remember which country even). So yeah... now I'm sharing a flat with two other people.

Thank you to everyone who has been patiently following me here and never stopped supporting my works💝🥺it means more than you can ever know.

I don't know, unfortunately, when I'll be even slightly better to start writing again. But I'm really trying to manage myself between everything that happened to me at once. I'll try my best to come back🫂💕

[queen--paradise]

Hi queen 👋

How was your week?

Hi, my dear Munhz! How are you doing?? I hope you're having a great week💝

I don't have many words to write. I'm doing worse than before. I lost my home and am now living with two other people (I have my own room, at least). I lost connection with my mom and dad, and I know they're not doing okay as well, but I can't even go to them and help. I went to the hospital today to an ophthalmologist and found out I've got ocular hypertension. It was so high that they took the test 3 times to make sure and then sent me for eye ultrasound to check if there's already damage in my eye. I was shocked because I just had mild pain in my eye and wouldn't have even gone to an ophthalmologist if not for my other disease. Anyway... now I must see another doctor (specialist, they said) to see if I should take drugs or do surgery for that. And honestly... I don't think I will go to see one. I don't have the energy to even think about it. Hopefully, it's mild and stays like this for a couple of months.

From time to time, I miss Onyx and wish I had sb like him beside me. But yeah...

Love you all💖💖thank you for checking on me!!

[queen--paradise]

Do you like sweets or deserts? What's your favourite? :)

Haha, such a different ask! I smiled at your question!

I love sweets. I can eat sweets for 3 meals per day! But I stopped myself to prevent diabetes! My favorite...well, I have a lot; I love cinnamon roll, chocolate cake with vanilla frosting, cheesecake, or any other moist cake (I don't like dry sweets like cookies). Also, I hate colorful sweets! Anything except the color of vanilla, chocolate, or caramel is a no to me. Unless It's raspberry or strawberry, and I'm sure of the color being real natural.

What is ur fav sweets, my sweetness?💝

[queen--paradise]

Make sure you don't take a sabbatical without warning beforehand. You just disappear like that, you say you're not feeling well, either physically or mentally and then when you disappear, I started thinking something had happened.

Haha, no, I'm not gonna attempt to harm myself physically! (I left that stage 6 years ago)💕

I've gone almost numb. I don't cry anymore or exclaim my sadness and grief to my close ones. I'm just spending days after days, going to work even on Saturdays to fill the time. And when I come back home I just sleep.

Last week, I had toothache and ignored it until last Sunday it got worse. I went to a dentist who was very far from my house (1 and half hour on bus ride with 20 mins walk afterward) because every other place was obviously closed on Sunday.

Today, I'm back home early. This is a good point, right? I'm listening to some podcasts, and they say it's beneficial to count 3 things you have gratitude for every day. So it can be one of them for today.

I miss Onyx.💔 My mind drifts to him sometimes to escape from reality, and he is a real comfort character to me.

Thank you, my dear Munhz, for checking on me like always💝It means more than you can imagine.

I wish you all a great week!

[queen--paradise]

Give us a sign of life, please, even just a "hi" would suffice.

Hello, my dear. I'm so so sorry I haven't seen your previous texts. I had uninstalled Tumblr with a bunch of other apps like Snapchat to spend more time in isolation. I just reinstalled Tumblr, feeling bad that I have friends like you here waiting to hear about me. But I never imagined having received so many texts from you asking about how I am doing...❤️❤️it warmed my heart so much to see how you have me in your mind even with your busy life.

I wrote 3 paragraphs and deleted them all rn. They were too depressive and I definitely don't want my followers to become upset by my words. I always wished to bring joy and happiness to you by what I write, and it makes me sad that I can't write anymore.

I'm alive and breathing. I don't have much else to say. I have mental breakdowns almost twice per week, trying to get myself together to just go from one day to the other. I could take some plant-based relaxant from the pharmacy (as I don't have a visit from a psychiatrist to get a proper med). It helps me to sleep.

Munhuz, I will never forget these days and how you tried to reach out to me. Even though I'm no close friend of yours, you still text me and ask about me❤️❤️ It means more than you can even imagine.

I hope I can get back to you guys soon. To start writing again. To reply to your words. To just be here. Normally again.

I wish you an amazing week. Love you all💖💖💖

[queen--paradise]

I just came here to wish you a good weekend, and that the next one is very good.

(I'm sending this message again because it glitched and I don't know if it was sent or not.)

My dear Munhz, how kind you are and how much happy I am to have you as my friend💝💝 Thank you so much for your kind text. It really made a smile to bloom on my face.🥺

My week went by fast and almost the same as the previous one. I sleep a lot these days, almost at any free time I find, I'm closing my eyes. I'm drinking relaxing herbal tea every night, and it makes my sleep even deeper. So....I'm sort of ignoring everything around me.

I wish you an amazing week💖 full of joy and success💖

[queen--paradise]

Give us a sign of life, please.

Hello, my dear Munhz. I hope you're okay and having an amazing weekend. I'm sorry I couldn't reach out sooner and reply to your texts. You're the only one who asked me how I am doing, not only once but several times💖💖

I'm not okay. I'm barely holding myself together, struggling to go from one day to the next. Some days, even breathing is a hard task for me. As if my body is just screaming to...give up. To stop working.

I'm usually a positive person, trying to see the full side of the glass, meditating and repeating positive affirmations daily. But sometimes, the sorrow is so deeply rooted that nothing works anymore, that the only thing I want is to be reborn in totally different conditions or die and never have to live this life anymore. And you know...I'm doing everything that I can to make my life better, but world/God throws stones at me, crushing my hopes one after another. And these days, it's past my threshold.

Sorry, It became such a negative depressing talk. I've been dealing with lots of stuff all at once, at my work, at my house, with my family and personal life. Everything has crashed down. My brain doesn't feel safe. As if I'm always in fight and flight mood, trying to get myself together on a daily basis. Maybe I just need someone to tell me:" Hey, I know you're not okay. You've been strong for a long time. Now you can rely on me. I will take care of you. You don't have to worry about everything alone. You don't have to carry this heavy burden on your shoulder alone. I will accompany you. Even if I can't lessen your grief, I won't leave your side. Everything will be okay. And until that day, you won't feel lonely because I'm with you in every step."

Anyway... I hope you're all doing amazing in your lives. I love you all, and I appreciate you being here with me💖 I never thought I could find friends via my writing. I'm glad I have you guys.💝💝💋

I won't leave the stories we have behind. I'm currently not doing well enough to even think of writing, but I'll be back as soon as I'm better again.

[queen--paradise]

Happy New Year's Eve, and Happy New Year too!

My dearrr lovely Munhz!! Happy New Year!💃I wish you an amazing year ahead!

Thank you so much for remembering me and sending me a text!💝

[queen--paradise]

Merry Christmas, my lovely friends!!💃💖

(I wanted to post this earlier, but it slipped from my mind!)

2026 is close, and I wish you all happiness, success, and health in the upcoming year. I hope you get to spend every day of 2026 with love. Real genuine love... I wish 2026 to be the best year for all of us.

I'm sorry for not being present much. I wanted to release a chapter of HMO for Christmas this weekend, but I was busy with work and also sick. I'll try to release an update as soon as I get better. Also, replying to all comments❤️💋

[queen--paradise]

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, Queen, how have you been?

Hello to you, my dear! Thank you so much for asking💋it means a lot that every week you ask about me💝

I've had some rough days. I became sick again and went to ER and was told I must get an appointment for a surgeon because my sickness has become chronic now with little chance of spontaneous healing left. I still have hope that my body will heal by itself, and no surgery will be required. I'm doing whatever I can to help my body. Anyway, getting an appointment is difficult and all good surgeons are full for the next two months.

I was hoping to spend new year with my family, but I've got a new project today which must be delivered on the second of January. I tried to move the date sooner to 31 December, but one of the people on the board didn't agree as she had already booked her flights and stuff. So maybe later...at the start of February if I can get a few days off. It will be depressing to be on my own alone again at this time of the year, but I'm sort of used to that.

Besides the new project and all, we are going to visit another city in a few weeks for work and I was looking forward to this for a year now, imagining how fun it'll be to be with my bestie there (she also works for the same company). But today, I realized that if I wanna go with her, I must change my whole program because our meetings are held on different dates about a week apart. I tried and talked with my coworkers on lunch break to change my schedule but couldn’t do anything. My coworkers were looking at me like I'm a crazy schoolgirl who just wants to follow her friend with little regard for her own life, even willing to make her own schedule worse. But I had promised her for over a year ago that I'll be with her on this trip and I felt so bad that I couldn't now. I was on the wedge of crying when I finally put my name for a different group. And let me add, now my coworkers (the ones who will accompany me on this trip) are mad at me, thinking I wanted to prefer the other team over them. Complicated, right?

Ohh, I wrote a whole chapter here!! Sorry!! I had so much to say! Anyway, I'm trying to stay positive. I believe everything happening is the best. (It should be...)

Thanks to everyone who followed my words till now and read my life story chapter!💖 I wish you an amazing week!

[queen--paradise]

I have a theory about Selene’s mother. I think her mother is the result of a human/werewolf relationship and so she has always longed to be accepted by wolf society. This would explain her almost instinctual urge to defer to the Alpha and also explains why Selene is Onyx’s mate, she’s a quarter wolf.

I could be totally off base but I think it makes a lot of sense

I'm so glad you've got an idea about Selene’s mom!! It means you're following the story closely to remember her even though I haven't mentioned her recently!!!💕

Of course, your idea makes sense! And I quite like it!! Her mom is angry about not becoming a werewolf, and the wolf society doesn't consider her as one of them, even though one of her parents was a werewolf. She'd been waiting to be mated to one, at least, but it didn’t happen as well. So now she is in skies because of Selene being a werewolf's mate and her being respected by them.

Ahaha, I liked this a lot!! I can't spoil the story, but your idea is good!🎀💃

My dear, thank you for sharing your thoughts with me! Please, write to me more if you have any ideas about anything!💝

[queen--paradise]

Will we have a new chapter of any story this weekend?

Unfortunately, no...I'm working on the next chapter of Onyx still, which is from his POV, and it's slightly difficult to write that!! Haha... I've been writing for so long from Selene’s eyes that Onyx feels like a new character to me now!

I also apologize for not replying to the comments on AO3 yet.💔 I'm very busy throughout the week, and I tried to write more of the next chapter this weekend instead. I promise I'll reply like always as soon as I can💝

Wish you an amazing week and classes, my dear!!

[queen--paradise]

Will his moonlit obsession come out on tumblr or AO3 first?

(I’m definitely not obsessed and checking daily lol)

Ahaha...on AO3 first. Lost In Him is uploaded here primarily, while Onyx is only on AO3.

I'm glad you're obsessed with Onyx❤️‍🔥that man is just...HOT!

[queen--paradise]

Hey queen, when are you going to answer our comments on the previous chapter and this one? (And wish me luck, I have the ENEM exam today!)

Ohh, good luck, my dear!! You'll do amazing tomorrow!!💫

I'll start tomorrow and answer as many as I can daily! I was thinking of replying right after work when I'm getting home. If AO3 had an app, it would be so much easier to do so.

[queen--paradise]

Hey queen, how's your sleep?

Much better now that I cut the coffee! Hahaha, I can't believe you can sleep right after drinking coffee! My body is just too reactive to everything!

I hope you're having an amazing weekend!💖

[queen--paradise]

desperately hoping you’ll update soon (it’s Sunday morning my time) and definitely not checking if you have multiple times a day.

please keep writing. I’m excited to see the direction you go with these stories

My lovely friend!💕💕how happy I am to have you with me in this writing journey!

In my time, it's Saturday now, and I'm planning to release the next chapter tomorrow! I think it'll be Sunday night for you when the update comes! I'm editing for the last time and checking the harmony!

Can't wait to see you on AO3 when it's out!