the mental health app i use tracks keywords in my rants (and assigns them pictures) to track how often they come up. heres what it chose for dan and phil lmao
my friend was talking to me and called kraft dinner "KD" and then stopped mid sentence to say "oh wait you aren't based like that" and then kept going saying "kraft dinner" 😭
unfortunately i will never be able to be as unnerved listening to Your Welcome (Heathers) as the first time when my dumb canadian ass listened to it out of context and thought that a yard was equivalent to a km. in case anyone is wondering, a km is about 15 minutes walking. i thought she was TWELVE AND A HALF HOURS from her car 😭
went to hug my dad after washing my hands and he stopped me, grabbed my hand, sniffed it, and then said "your hand has a pleasant aroma" get me out of this goddamn house
idk if we have any gay/disabled representation tests for TV but i personally have been using "does it have worse/equal/better representation than south park" and its so much fun. better rep than south park? the bar seems so low it sounds like an insult. on par with south park? also sounds like an insult. worse rep than south park? i am now allowed to call a random show "more offensive than south park" and technically im right
- teaches chemistry, biology, and physics on top of earth and space sciences (which is what i assume he was teaching in the movie)
- refers to his students as "chemists"/"biologists"/ "physicians"/"astronomers"
- has the periodic table song memorized and retains it even through the amnesia
- uses the exclamation point smiley faces on every single good quiz/test
- makes his chemistry classes do karaoke of "2 become 1" by the Spice Girls when teaching synthesis and decomposition reactions
- constantly forgets to balance chemical reaction equations and has to keep re-correcting quizzes bc his answer key was wrong
- despises his ID card photo.
- will stand at the classroom door and narrate kids coming into class like it's a race
- used to swear a lot (back in the days when he would take random pills from strangers lol) but once he became a teacher he has to actively stop himself until he got to where he is now (literally saying "fudge" instead of "fuck" in a life-or-death situation)
- has his physics students do paper airplane making competitions (where he teaches them all the different methods of making airplanes then has them throw them off the top of the stairwell) and gives out "medals" (a necklace with a small paper airplane as the bead) for the people who did the best
- the earth beanbag isnt the only one he owns, he has one of every planet in our solar system (favours the earth one so much because the earth is his favourite planet)
- has so much fun decorating his classroom at the beginning of the year. definitely keeps old models his students made, pictures of the classes, and art his students gave for him on the wall. its starting to get to be too much to fit all on one wall
- hosts "pi day" in his class with party hats (homemade (he got really good at it after a while), like Rocky's "savior of the universe" hat) and store-bought pie
- he's the teacher supervisor of the sciences club and while it's usually just time for kids to do their homework or ask for help, he tries to come up with experiments to do (a lot of while involved lighting things on fire, solely because thats what the kids love the most)
- once had to chase a bird out of the school (one flew in and for "some reason" the kids ran to him for help) by scaring it with a clown horn he got to get loud classes attention
- has so much fun with the abbreviation for Formula Unit (FU)
- the first gift he ever got from a student was a hand sewn plushy of a mole (no, he did not cry. OK. maybe a little). he (obviously) named it Avogadro and keeps it on his desk to point to when teaching students about Avogadros number
- the type of teacher to hand out candies after a horrific test
- uses those rainbow multicolour pens as well as pens with pun on them (it's not restricted to his clothing)
- once found out a student smoked and edited every quiz and test that semester to have a question about how much tar/nicotine you inhale and how many years you live if you smoke ever day
- keeps his classroom open at lunch for kids who want to eat somewhere quiet (after a while it turned into a gossip spot, and now he knows a lot about students who arent in any of his classes)
- owns like 50 dry erase markers and somehow none of them ever seem to work. the projector is constantly overheating. the school wifi is so slow they might die to the astrophage before they get a tab open.
- went by Mr G (making the switch from "Ryland" on land to "Grace" in space that much more of a shift)
- half of the time he wears the schools cheap lab goggles his glasses shift awkwardly and he has to have the students tell him if he's doing something right (he pretends its a trust exercise/practice to save his ego)
- learned to do card tricks to entertain kids he babysat when he was younger but once his students found out he could do "magic" lessons would derail very quickly
- never made any of his own models. either got them from the store, from students, or from other teachers. the first time he had to make a model entirely by himself was to communicate with rocky under much stronger gravity
- the type of person to always forget to bring an umbrella when it's going to rain and end up running with their jacket over their head
- likes to redraw/add to/comment on drawings students make on their own tests
- regularly used the "stop running" distraction on people he didn't want to talk to (no, it never worked, but he kept doing it) until the students got used to it. that kid in the flashback replied too fast for it to have been the first time Grace did that loll
- in questions with names in them he changes the names to the kids in his class at the moment
- makes big signs to tape to the classroom door when kids in his class have alergies
- takes immense pride in his gmail signature. its VERY long and details every method of contacting him, contacting the school, multiple quotes and puns that he makes sure to change regularly, contacts for every single help phone in their area, and a scan of his own real life signature. students make fun of him for it. its definitely part of the reason it takes so long to send an email on the school wifi
- calls every student in his class his "favourite student"
- has a massive collection of bandaids that he's written little notes like "this is your reminder to study" on in sharpie to give out to students
- is friends with the com-tech teacher and convinces them to let him use the schools t-shirt printer (usually used for the design students and for making school t-shirts) to add to his collection of dumb joke shirts
ok :) thats all i can think of for now. might add more later
i wonder how Rocky (who had 22 crewmates, a massive ship, more than enough fuel to get back home, who are implied to have explored space more and contacted other species, and was obviously confident in the success of his crews mission before everything went wrong) would react to finding out more abt the Hail Mary (who did not make enough fuel to get their crew home, built the ship in a few months with obvious logistical errors, accidentally killed TWO of the THREE crewmates while they were in a coma, literally chased down and drugged their main scientist to force him onto the ship without his consent not even a day before takeoff (who had no space training, mind you), and who were 100% sure their entire crew was going to die and figured it was just "take one for the team" situation)
talking abt fanfic with someone who doesnt know anything abt it is so fucking funny bc of how little reference point they have for it. was telling my (writer) friend a story and started with "i had an idea for a fic-" and they in full seriousness interrupted me to say "you should write it down." GIRL I KNOW???? 😭
thinking abt the dunning-kruger effect in relation to cosmic horror. when the realization of things bigger than you breaks your brain do just inherently understand how little about the world you know from learning so much more or are you at the peak of "mt. stupid" without any real way to understand what it is you don't/do understand? does the brain break comes from understanding too much or not physically being able to understand at all?
either im weird or something about elephants in children's media is inherently spooky. dumbo? unnerving. horton hears a who? that reverse cosmic horror gave me weeks of nightmares and a psychological break as a kid. the song about how "elephants have wrinkles" that seems to exists solely on a CD i got in elementary school? scary as hell. how come every time they started the corus the lady would hold this long note of "why-y-y-y" which had nothing to do with the song? what questions does she have that are going unanswered? do i want to know? no. i dont. because it's probably about FUCKING ELEPHANTS.
