Me

A bit of everything. Sex, art, beauty, music, words and things that make me laugh. 18+ NSFW Dear God, if you're under age or offended, please just leave. Some posts are mine/me, but most are re-blogged from other places/pages. If anything belongs to you and you want it removed, please have the courtesy to tell me. I am very happy to oblige.

[purplebuddhaquotes]

“I am sorry someone loved you badly, and that they made you feel like you take up more space than you deserve. I am sorry they abandoned you when you need them the most and it has made you believe that love is an awful thing that hurts.”

—

Nikita Gill

[catchymemes]

[oursexyexploration-deactivated2]

Hotwife Lifestyle - Understanding Our Man’s Hotwife Fantasy and How to Use That to Our Advantage

The fantasy of having a “Hotwife” is growing, in fact, research shows it is growing at a higher rate than a good majority of the other lifestyle alternatives, including the old staple of “swinging” and the modern “open relationship”.  Why is it that a fantasy that revolves around only one part of a relationship – the woman – going out and finding pleasure from another man more intriguing to an increasing number of men than going out and “getting some” for himself?  

Basic psychology tells us that men are highly competitive creatures.  They have a drive to compete with other males of the species for the best mate – this isn’t so much different than what happens in the animal kingdom.  Most men have an innate drive to compete with other men when it comes to the “best mate” or the “most attractive woman”.  With this being said, one of the reservations of most women who find out about their husband or partner’s Hotwife fantasy is that he is somehow “weaker” than the rest because he wants to give up his position as your only partner.  Is this really true, though?  Could the truth lie somewhere within today’s man’s loss of natural competition in everyday life, and a desire to maintain a level of competition after marriage or “monogamy”?  Is this weakness, or rather the ultimate confidence?  

Cuckholding aside, because this aspect of the fantasy requires a bit more in terms of a “woman led” relationship, and a bit more from the man in terms of a desire for mental sadomasochism, a good majority of men enjoy the idea that they have been able to “capture” the best mate and even when she’s out having amazing physical and emotional experiences with men who may have qualities that actually supersede their own – a better body, a larger cock, youth, more prowess in bed – their woman actually WANTS to come back to them at the end of the night.  While most Hotwife-Husbands do get some level of turn-on from the jealousy and the possibility that their Hotwife may actually be enjoying their dates more than they enjoy being “at home”, the overwhelming desire is the competition and the “win” in terms of having a wife who chooses them again and again even after being allowed to go out and have other men.  

As Hotwives, we may be the focus of the fantasy, but there is that deeper and more psychological desire of a man who, even after committing to one woman, is able to compete with other males sexually.  This is why the desire for “reclaiming” a Hotwife after a date is so strong – it’s actually been scientifically proven that men who are able to reclaim a partner after she has been with someone else have an increase in testosterone levels, which means stronger desire, more powerful erections, longer lasting erections, and an overall stronger sex drive.  So, what does this mean for us as Hotwives?

He Enjoys the Jealousy, Go with It

As women we’ve learned that inducing some jealousy can actually be a good thing when it comes to dating – before we’ve found our “person”.  We use our female prowess to keep the men who we are seeing guessing…why?  Because they seem more interested in us when it seems as though we may not be 100% there.  So, if this works in the dating world, why wouldn’t it work once we’re married? In contrast, women typically don’t respond as well, or in the same way to jealousy – we tend to worry, question, and sometimes shut down if we feel that he might be “just not that into us”.  Naturally, because of our own feelings on the matter, we tend to avoid making our men jealous once we’ve committed to them, because we, ourselves don’t want to feel as though we’re in constant competition with other, more attractive, sexier, younger, etc., women.  Why would we do something to the man that we love that we, ourselves, would hate?

For men, though, and especially those with Hotwife fantasies, jealousy is a big component and tool for us to keep our men hot and bothered.  Sometimes just the mere mention of being flirted with by that cute guy at our favorite restaurant, or our interest in the sexy personal trainer at the gym is enough to send our men into a sexual frenzy.  It doesn’t take a lot to feed the fantasy.  It’s not ALL about dates and recounting how well we got worked over in the bedroom (and how much we loved it), though that is the ultimate turn on for our men, it’s also about the little things – the mention of our interest in someone else, the sexy messages that we send to potential lovers or Bulls, the “tease” of how much we loved what our last Bull did for us and how much we’re looking forward to doing it again.  Remember, this ignites the “competition” element of things, which is natural for men.

The More You Enjoy it, the More He Enjoys it

You may be thinking, “But I’m doing it for him, I’m not doing it for myself” (a common theme by A LOT of Hotwives), but in reality, our men WANT us to enjoy our encounters. They want to hear about what this “other guy” did for or to is that sent us over the edge, and yes, they want to hear what we liked better about the “other guy”.  I know it seems crazy, because we don’t want to imagine our men, even if we did allow them to be with other women, thinking that their “others” were better, sexier, hotter or had something that we don’t.  That’s because we don’t have that “competition drive” like our men do.

Let’s face it, despite what our men tell us – “It’s all about your pleasure” or “I don’t get anything out of it unless you’re enjoying it, because I love you so much” – this isn’t some ultimate “unselfish” thing our men are doing for us.  These things come out of their mouths, but what they are really saying is “I want to know that you came three times while he was fucking you, and you STILL want to come home to me”.  It’s their kink, and we have to understand it.  

So, if you’ve actually taken the step into the world of Hotwifing, you’re going to have to learn how to properly tease your man into believing that, just maybe, your Bull was better than him in some ways.  Whenever you think “But I’m only doing it for him”, follow that us with “I’m doing it for him and he WANTS to know that I absolutely enjoyed it”.  Find some aspect of your encounter that was mind-blowing, and recount, in great detail exactly what it was that sent you over the edge.  This may require a little bit of embellishment, and that’s OKAY…trust me…embellishment is your friend in this situation.  Tell your man about your Bull’s amazing cock, how good if felt, how good he tasted, how fantastic he was at oral sex, etc.  These are the things that will ramp up that competition streak in your man and make him want to reclaim you with increased vigor and desire.  

The More You Want Someone Else, The More Your Man Wants You

Again, you’re playing on the competition and the teasing aspect of things here…  The more that you act as if you WANT to be a Hotwife, the more that your husband or partner is going to WANT you.  His desire for you is going to skyrocket, his sexual desire for you is going to make it so that he’s ready to chew his own leg off to get you back in bed.  I have experienced this firsthand many times…if I am completely honest about an “encounter” and admit to “D” that my Bull was lacking in some way, or I didn’t quite “get there”, he isn’t nearly as turned on as when I tell him about how amazing things were.  I don’t like or believe in lying, but I do advocate for being selective and stretching the truth…maybe your lover wasn’t the best at giving oral sex, but maybe he was an amazing kisser, so a good answer would be “he was amazing with his mouth” and leave the rest up for interpretation.  

We’re women.  We are strong and capable and we are smart.  And the truth is, this is a GAME we are playing for and with our husbands/partners, so we need to get our heads into the game. Furthermore, this is an intellectual game, and we need to use our intellects to get to where we want to be.  Where do we want to be?  We want to have a husband/partner who is absolutely drooling over us, believes we are the ultimate sexual goddess, and in is jealous enough to realize that in order to “compete” they will need to step up their own game in order to “keep” us satisfied – be that with amazing sex, extra romance, other rewards, or all of the above.  

Happy Hotwifing!

-S

[gr8mindzfk]

This article is so spot on it’s crazy!!! Thanks for sharing, babe read this please…

[isharemywife15]

Absolute TRUTH!

[cometsfantasies-209]

[genitalsanxiety]

[whatturnsawomanon]

.

[memecage]

It’s that time of year!

[his-4-life-deactivated20230219]

How to treat a good man

He should be treasured. He should be held in the highest esteem and respect.

Give him attention. Listen to him when he speaks. Listen just as closely when he is silent.

Ask him what he needs from you. What you can do for him.

Give him your time, your presence, your courtesy.

If he has never given any reason for you to doubt him, then don’t LOOK for things to doubt.

Be his pleasure. Don’t try to cause him pain.

Don’t test him, to see if he is “just like all the others”. Had an ex that hurt you? Yeah, we all have. He probably has too. Don’t treat him like its the fault of all men.

Treat him like a king.

Put effort into him.

Show him you’re worthy of how he treats you.

Give him a damned break.

Be at His side.

Give him reason to smile. To laugh. To feel good.

Take care of him.

If he’s a good man, and you want to be with him, be a good woman.

Edit - this entire post is partly in response to the mass of “treat women like queen’s!!!!” posts i see. So fed up of the one sided attitude that i had to try balance it out. Women and men deserve exactly the same treatment and effort.

[instructor144]

All of this. And I strongly concur re: the one sidedness mentioned in the Edit. So much of D/s writing shares the same focus as porn flicks: “it’s all about the girl [substitute ‘sub’ for ‘girl’].”  With the Dom simply “there,” as some sort of all-knowing, indefatigable, infinitely patient pushbutton DomBot™.

[goodgirl-maybenot-deactivated20]

Absolutely! ❤❤❤

[meggiegemmys-deactivated2019060]

100% If you have a good daddy dom take good care of him as much as he takes care of you.

[my-slavelife-a-deactivated20190]

Master, I hope you feel I do all of these things for you ❤️

[oregonsunshine-deactivated20190]

I don’t give a damn what “lifestyle” you’re in or who you are, this is legit advice and should be the bar EVERY woman reaches for.

[echolessvoid]

THROUGH A RAPIST’S EYES” (PLS TAKE TIME TO READ THIS. It may save a life, It may save your life.)

An Article from Neena Susan Thomas

“Through a rapist’s eyes. A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interview…ed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:

1] The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun! , braid, or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.

2] The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who’s clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.

3] They also look for women using their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.

4] The number one place women are abducted from / attacked at is grocery store parking lots.

5] Number two is office parking lots/garages.

6] Number three is public restrooms.

7] The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don’t have to worry about getting caught.

8] If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn’t worth it because it will be time-consuming.

9] These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas,or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.

10] Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you’re not worth it.

POINTS THAT WE SHOULD REMEMBER:

1] If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk: can’t believe it is so cold out here, we’re in for a bad winter. Now that you’ve seen their faces and could identify them in a line- up, you lose appeal as a target.

2] If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they’d leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

3] If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.

4] If someone grabs you, you can’t beat them with strength but you can do it by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and armpit or in the upper inner thigh – HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it really hurts.

5] After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy’s parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you’ll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause him a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he’s out of there.

6] When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.

7] Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don’t dismiss it, go with your instincts. You may feel little silly at the time, but you’d feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.

FINALLY, PLEASE REMEMBER THESE AS WELL ….

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do it.

2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans : if a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you…. chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won’t see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping,eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON’T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side,put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU CLOSE the DOORS , LEAVE.

5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:

a. Be aware: look around your car as someone may be hiding at the passenger side , peek into your car, inside the passenger side floor, and in the back seat. ( DO THIS TOO BEFORE RIDING A TAXI CAB) .

b. If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.

c. Look at the car parked on the driver’s side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked “for help” into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it and it’s better safe than sorry.

If u have compassion reblog this post. ‘Helping hands are better than Praying Lips’ – give us your helping hand.

REBLOG THIS AND LET EVERY GIRL KNOW AT LEAST PEOPLE WILL KNOW WHATS GOING ON IN THIS WORLD. So please reblog this….Your one reblog can Help to spread this information.

THIS COULD ACTUALLY SAVE A LIFE.”

[brittanymichael]

EVERYONE BOOT THE FUCK OUT OF THIS

[deadgirldancing21]

This is so fucking unfortunate that we need this

[xphantasia]

it just makes me angry that women need this.. but we do and if you see this, PLEASE REBLOG. it doesn’t matter if you are a male or a female. by reblogging this, you might save someone’s life.

[angelofthelord221bigbluebox-dea]

Don’t scroll past this, it’s so important

[markiplier-is-rad-deactivated20]

nothing to do with what my posts are normally about but this is SO damn important!! don’t scroll past without reading and / or reblogging!

[chubbybiebz]

this is fucking important. Idc if your blog is perfect, fucking reblog this. It may save someone.

[i-would-like-to-like-me]

🎵

[where-is-the-diet-pepsi]

sorry if i reblog this everY FIVE MINUTES

[kittenuggets-deactivated2019052]

I don’t want anything bad to happen to anyone, especially my little followers.

[deadwolfgnt93-deactivated202105]

Auto-reblog!!

[instructor144]

BOOST.

[savage-gentleman-wolf]

Excellent Info!!!! Stay Safe Always!!!

[elegance-in-submission-nj-deact]

[nebulagalore]

[rosenroll]

[walkingthelinesoflives]

Always a reblog

[robwolf88]

🐺

[alwaysasillygirl]

Always

[kimmytia]

He knows me

[tomorrow-is-won-deactivated2025]

A large percentage of our country doesn’t know of, or care about Normandy. A few weekends ago, British artist Jamie, accompanied by numerous volunteers, took to the beaches of Normandy with rakes and stencils in hand to etch 9,000 silhouettes into the sand, representing fallen soldiers. Titled The Fallen 9000, the piece is meant as a stark visual reminder of those who died during the D-Day beach landings at Arromanches on June 6th, 1944 during WWII. The original team consisted of 60 volunteers, but as word spread nearly 500 additional local residents arrived to help with the temporary installation that lasted only a few hours before being washed away by the tide. 9,000 Fallen Soldiers Etched into the Sand on Normandy Beach to Commemorate Peace Day. What is surprising is that nothing about this was seen here in the U.S. Someone from overseas had a friend who sent it with a note of gratitude for what the U.S. started there. Please share with others who understand “freedom is not free – nor has it ever been”

[fuckmethroughthesheets]

10 Reasons I’m a Submissive

(in no particular order)

1. Because his pleasure is my pleasure.

There are lots of things in life that bring me pleasure. A perfectly roasted chicken. Unicorns. Glitter. Tootsie rolls. Fairy lights. Getting an A+. A really good action movie with lots of explosions and guns and violence and goofiness. Debating ridiculous philosophical and political and other stuff with my best friends. Traveling. Getting the perfect messy bun. Literally, the list goes on and on and on.

But nothing brings me pleasure the way that his pleasure does, the way my Dom’s pleasure does. And I’m not just talking about sexual pleasure – I’m talking about all kinds of pleasure. Sucking his cock and taking it all the way down my throat over and over until he feeds me his cum and tells me what a good girl I am for him and getting to revel in the fact that I’ve given him such pleasure that he couldn’t help but cum brings me such tremendous pleasure. But you know what else brings me pleasure? Knowing how pleased he is when I serve him his favorite dinner. Knowing how much it pleases him when I fold his t-shirts the right way. Knowing how much he loves and gets pleasure out of watching me sing along (badly) to my bubblegum pop playlist while I wash the kitchen counters. Watching his face light up when I meet him with a drink and a smile when he gets home from work. Kneeling at his feet and leaning against his leg so he can pet my hair while he reads or watches TV and giving him the comfort of knowing I’m there, knowing I kneel for him, knowing I serve him, knowing I love him, knowing that I’m his with that very simple act.

And when it’s sexual? The way he chuckles when I’m tied to his bed and writhing beneath his touch and whimpering and begging for release? It makes me smile inside. The way it turns him on to deny me? It makes me even wetter. The sick and twisted joy he gets out of ruining an orgasm or denying me one? It makes my girl parts tingle and makes me beg even harder. If he didn’t get pleasure out of the things he did to me? It wouldn’t be the same. I get turned on because of his dirty words and his talented fingers and the way he fucks me until I can’t think straight, sure – but, even more, I get turned on by knowing how much pleasure he gets out of watching me whimper and moan and beg and cry and do what I’m told.

It’s all kinds of pleasure. Any pleasure I give him, any way I please him, any way I make his day better or make him happy or make things just a little bit easier for him brings me pleasure. It pleases me to make him feel good. It makes me happy to know that I’ve made him happy. It makes me feel whole and safe and happy and good to bring him pleasure. It lights me up inside. That’s why I serve him – because pleasing him is what makes me the happiest I can be.

2. Because I crave structure and I crave it from him.

I am a person who craves structure. No, I don’t just crave it – I need it. I do better with rules and limits and a schedule in place.

But here’s the thing – I don’t do well with following the rules and limits and schedule when it’s wholly self-imposed. I can create a structure to follow when I have something to answer to (for example: a job). But when I am wholly left on my own I struggle to maintain that balance and those limits and that structure. I do well with picking one thing to focus on and setting up the structure for that (for example: gym and diet) – but when it comes to creating a structure for my overall life I get overwhelmed and tend to withdraw to a day of procrastinating and ignoring the schedule that I’ve tried to put in place for myself.

I am a person who does better when I know someone else has expectations of me. I have such passion and talent and drive – but I struggle with figuring out where to channel all of that without having something to work toward. And my brain works at such a speed and in such a way that instead of being able to focus in on a few options or possibilities I just see all of the options and end up in a never-ending loop of everything I could do and not knowing which to pick. So having someone to help me wade through that, help me set in place the limits and parameters and structure to figure out how to focus that drive and passion and talent… It makes it easier for me to know how to order my day, for me to plan what to get done when, for me to accomplish things and go to bed feeling like I’ve been productive.

So I crave someone who is willing to take on the very heavy responsibility of helping me create a structure for my life and then holding me accountable when it comes to sticking to it. 

3. Because I don’t always do what’s best for me and when that happens I need someone I can trust to point that out to me.

It’s true. I have a habit of spiraling and, when I do, sometimes I can recognize it and set myself back on track and pull myself out of the hole. But sometimes I make a bad decision. And then I make another. And before I know it I’ve set myself on the path to a cycle of self-destructive behavior.

And then that happens, I need someone who can gently but firmly sit me down and talk me through it and help me set myself back on the right track. I want him to help me set limits. To help me set-up the rules. To, once again, help me create that structure - or alter the structure that’s already in place.

I need him to be my voice of guidance when I can’t guide myself. I want to know that he has my back. And I want to know that he’ll put limits in place for me when I can’t do it for myself. 

4. I need someone to hold me accountable. 

I am a people pleaser. I like to please people. And, true, if my mental health struggles and therapy have taught me anything it’s that you can’t live your life entirely focused on pleasing everyone around you. But having a set person in my life who has agreed to be in a relationship with me where he holds me accountable and gives me rules and structure and sets expectations for what he wants from and requires of me gives me a way to feed that people-pleasing need without going overboard and feeding my anxiety.

But it’s more than just feeding that people-pleasing need. It’s about being held accountable. It’s about knowing that if I say I’m going to do something or if he asks me to do something or if he sets me a task or a rule or what have you – that he’s then going to follow-up to ensure that it’s done and, if it’s not, that there are going to be consequences and those consequences are going to come from him.

It’s part of the structure that I need. And I don’t want to put this on someone who doesn’t want to provide that kind of structure or who doesn’t want to take on that responsibility – I’m looking for someone who gets a sense of fulfillment out of taking on that role. Who enjoys providing me structure, who enjoys holding me accountable, who enjoys leading me. Because knowing that he enjoys that helps me feel pleasure, helps me feel calm, helps me feel at peace.

I need to be held accountable. I need to know that there will be consequences for my actions. And I need to know that that accountability and those consequences will come from the person that I respect and trust most.

5. Because I want a relationship that’s a give and take.

So much of what you see on tumblr has to do with the Dom being responsible and taking on all the control and having to set in place all the rules, limits, and boundaries, and having to be responsible for the welfare of their sub and on and on and on…

But that’s not a real D/s relationship. At least not to me.

A real D/s relationship is about a give and take. Both (or all) parties take on responsibility. Both parties are responsible for watching out for the other, for caring for the other, for protecting and respecting and loving the other. Both parties are agreeing to act like adults, to handle disagreements with maturity and within the parameters set-up, to respect the limits and boundaries and rules put in place. 

Your Dom takes care of you, yes. Your Dom agrees to hold you accountable. Your Dom agrees to lead you and pleasure you and take on responsibility for providing for your needs. But you take care of your Dom as well. I am responsible for watching out for him, for making sure he’s happy, for ensuring that he’s reaching his full potential and that I’m helping him in whatever way I can. I am responsible for talking to him, for telling him what I think and how I feel and for making sure that I share my problems and worries and issues with him. I am responsible for remembering that he can’t read my mind. I am responsible for asking him if he’s okay. I am responsible for listening when he needs to share his problems and worries and issues with me. I am responsible for taking care of him. I am responsible for loving him and respecting him and being the best I can be for him.

Because when he agrees to take on the responsibility of being my Dom – I, at the same time, am agreeing to take on the responsibility of being his sub. Because the responsibility of a D/s relationship doesn’t belong to just one party – it’s shared between both of us. It’s a partnership, a team, a unit. It’s a power exchange. An exchange. Which means there’s give and take. And I want that. I want to give my partner as much as he allows me to take from him. Because that’s the only way that both of us can remain healthy and whole.

6. Serving gives me pleasure.

Serving him gives me pleasure. Making a home not just with him but for him. Making it pretty, making it pleasing, making it a warm and happy place to come back to every night. Making him dinner. Doing his laundry (but not the ironing!). Making sure his shirts are all hung-up in the proper place when they come home from the dry-cleaner. Bringing him his favorite drink at the end of a long day. Washing him in the shower. Worshipping his cock. Keeping our home clean. Making sure I pick up his favorite snacks at the grocery store. Making sure he remembers to grab a water before he leaves the house for the gym. Serving him in so many ways.

Doing the little things (and the big ones!) that makes his life happier and calmer and altogether just a little bit easier – that makes me happy. Knowing that I’m helping him and making it easier for him to go through his day makes me feel complete.

And I know a lot of people will read this and ask what he’s doing to make my life easier and happier and calmer – and the answer is this: he’s doing so much. He’s holding me accountable. He’s providing my structure. He’s giving me a healthy and safe outlet for fulfilling my needs to please people and to serve. He loves me. He helps me make sure that I take care of myself – and takes care of me when I can’t do it. He gives me just as much as I give him. In his way, he serves me too. It’s a different kind of service than I give him. But it’s still service. Like I said, it’s a give and take.

7. Because kneeling for him brings me tremendous peace.

I suppose this could fall under service but it’s such a distinctive act that brings such tremendous fulfillment and peace that I felt like it deserved its own number.

It really is that simple: kneeling for him brings me peace. Kneeling for him makes me feel safe. Kneeling for him is fulfilling. Kneeling for him is a privilege. Kneeling for him is calming and pleasing and a position of both pride and complete and utter joy.

I love kneeling at his feet. I love kneeling in front of him. I love kneeling in the center of the room so he can watch me. I love kneeling simply because it’s where he wants me to be. It’s like meditation and prayer and supplication all rolled into one. I enjoy taking a position of worship on my knees. I enjoy worshiping him. I enjoy bestowing that honor on him time and time again. And I feel so tremendously lucky every time he allows me the privilege of kneeling at his feet. 

It makes me feel safe, it makes me feel whole, and it makes me feel lucky to take my position at his feet. Because it is a physical, positional reminder of who owns me and it gives me the time to reflect on exactly why I picked him.

8. Because I don’t want to be in charge.

It really is that simple. I don’t want to be in charge. I am in charge of so much in my day-to-day life. I take on so much responsibility. I care for my friends, I care for my family, I feed the people I care about, I have tremendous responsibility in work, I am responsible for teaching new hires, I am responsible for providing advice on this blog (and yes, I am aware that is a self-imposed responsibility). And there’s more – so, so much more.

And when I’m done with that I don’t want to make decisions. I don’t want to have to make the rules. I don’t want to have to be responsible for what happens next. I want to be told what to do. I want to be told what is expected. I want to be told how to please someone and how to do it right. I want to submit myself to someone else’s control. I want to hand myself over to him and his decisions and his direction. I want that peace. I want that safety. And I want to end each day with that sense of fulfillment.

9. Sexually, I find far more pleasure in cumming for him than I do in cumming for myself.

Orgasms are great. I love orgasms. I really fucking love to cum.

But cumming for myself just doesn’t give me the overwhelming sense of pleasure (emotionally, mentally, physically, sexually) as cumming for him does. When he tells me how to get there, when he tells me what to say, when he makes me beg and cry and whimper and scream and tell him all of my darkest, dirtiest, most depraved fantasies while I try my hardest not to cum without permission… When he makes me wait for it, makes me edge over and over and over, making me hold off… When he finally tells me to cum. When he finally gives me permission. When he finally tells me to let go… It’s unlike any other feeling. Because I know I have earned that orgasm. Because I know he’s allowing me to have that orgasm because I’ve pleased him so much that I’ve earned the gift of it. 

Orgasms are great. They really, really are. But orgasms are even greater when they’re a gift from him.

10. Because I love being told no.

I do. I love the reminder of who is in charge. Or who I have trusted with my welfare and my care and my pleasure and my safety. I love knowing that he’s paying attention to me. I love knowing that he’s watching what I do. I love knowing that he’s making sure I’m staying within the lines – because it reminds me every single time of how committed he is to me and to our dynamic and to the promises that we’ve made to each other. 

And I love knowing that he’s in charge. And that he knows he’s in charge. And that he wants to remind me he’s in charge. Because it makes me feel safe. And, tbh, it makes me pretty damn wet.

[lyndsay321]

Inside me

[bdsmgeekhowto]

Big List of BDSM Links

Social:

Communities:

Fetlife (Facebook for Kinksters)

Fetlife Novices & Newbies Group

Informed Consent (UK)

Datenschlag (DE)

Submissive Guide

People:

Lord Morpheous - author, sex-educator, photographer

Two Knotty Boys - rope bondage educators, authors.

Midori -  educator and columnist on adventurous sexuality.

Fred Kyrel aka ShibariK - French Fetish photographer.

House of Tanos - BDSM blog, Master/slave.

Events:

Shibaricon- large rope bondage convention in Chicago.

Electronic Resources:

Articles

BDSM Identities - My own post on

Darr_Syn’s Post Dump - Collection of posts by /r/BDSMcommunity’s Darr Syn.

BDSM for Nice Guys - be a nice guy and a Dom.

Restrained Elegance - slave position lexicon (nice pictures).

Tutorials

BDSM-Chicago Tutorials - collection of tutorials.

NLA Columbus SM101 - intro to SM by NLA Columbus.

Bondage on a Buck - tutorials, homemade toys.

DIY Tutorial Collection

Leathercrafting Blog - leather, howto’s

Make a Bullwhip

Nylon Whip - Part 1

Nylon Whip - Part 2

Duck Tape Flogger

DIY Velcro WristCuffs

Rope Related:

Be Knotty - Wiki

How to Tie a Karada

Rope & Knots

Animated Knots

Shibari Nation Tutorial on Rope

Wiki Article on Shibari

Videos:

KinkAcademy - Free Video’s (paysite)

Pleasure Shop Collection - free, short.

Whip Making Tutorial 1

Whip Making Tutorial 2

Rope Related:

Two Knotty Boy Collection

Rope-Topia Collection

How to Tie a Shibari-Style Rope Shackle

Twisted Monk Collection

Hogtied Education Series

Blogs:

Press Button For Sex

Podcasts:

Erotic Awakening

The Dark Side

Books:

“How to Be Kinky: A Beginner’s Guide to BDSM”

“How to Be Kinkier: More Adventures in Adult Playtime”

“Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism”

“The New Topping Book”

“The New Bottoming Book”

“The Better Built Bondage Book: A Complete Guide to Making Your Own Sex Toys, Furniture and BDSM Equipment”

“On the Safe Edge: A Manual for SM Play”

“Sm 101: A Realistic Introduction”

“When Someone You Love is Kinky”

Rope Related:

“Rope Bondage 101” - Free PDF via kinkfriendly.com

“A guide for rope bottoms and bondage models.” - Free PDF via rope-topia.com

“Esinem Style Takate-Kote” - Free PDF via esinem.com

“Complete Shibari Volume 1: Land”

“Complete Shibari Volume 2: Sky”

“Two Knotty Boys Showing You The Ropes: A Step-by-Step, Illustrated Guide for Tying Sensual and Decorative Rope Bondage”

“Two Knotty Boys Back on the Ropes”

“Shibari You Can Use: Japanese Rope Bondage and Erotic Macramé”

“Bondage For Sex”

Stores/Retailers:

BDSMGeekShop - quality at a low price, cute, safe, pyrex, silicone

DHGate - cheap, low quality

Discount BDSM Gear - cheaper, okay quality

HalfwayCreations - leather, high quality

SeventhCircle - good, leather, affordable

Mr S Leather - various, high quality

Fetish Jewelry - jewelry

Tandy Leather Factory - leather, leather working supplies

StockRoom - expensive, high quality, various

NorthBound Leather - expensive, high quality, leather

Paddles Of Distinction - expensive, high quality paddles

Bound to Please - bondage supplies

Beautiful Bondage - bondage supplies

Freak Clubwear - clothing, toys

Carneval - impact toys

Jack’s Floggers - impact toys

Rope Related:

EMT Shears

Aja Rope - hemp, MFP, paracord

Arizona Bound - cotton, hemp, linen, lute

BDSMGeekShop - cotton, colored cotton, hemp

Beautiful Bondage (UK) - hemp, synthetic hemp, cotton, accessories, bulk orders

BindMe.nl (NL) - hemp, jute

Boss Bondage - hemp, accessories

Erin Houdini - nylon specialist, UV reactive colors

Esinem (UK) - hemp, jute, linen

HandmadeRope (CA) - variety of handmade rope

HempTraders - raw hemp

Jade Rope (UK)(US) - variety of natural and synthetic fibers, accessories

Jakara Shibari (UK) - jute specialist

Jaoman (CA) - hemp

KinkyRopes - specialty ropes, jute, flax, hemp, rope toys

KnottyBound - hemp, jute, bamboo, bulk orders

Madame Butterfly - silk specialist

Maui Kink - hemp, jute, variety of exotic natural fibers, accessories, bulk orders

McHurt (DE) - hemp, general bdsm

Naturally Twisted (AU) - jute, accessories

Omega Jute - jute

Ouchy (NL) - hemp, jute, synthetic hemp

Rawganique - raw hemp, hemp products

Ravenesque Rope - nylon, nylon/polyester blend

Renaissance Rope - hemp, jute, bamboo

Rope Extremes - hemp, MFP, nylon, synthetic hemp, paracord

Shibari Ropes - hemp, jute, suspension rings

TwistedMonk - hemp, accessories

Venus Ropes - hemp, MFP, nylon, accessories

Vintage Rope - hemp, cotton, MFP, accessories

Fun/Fiction/Entertainment:

KinkForKindle - Free Kink Ebooks

“Nana to Kaoru” - Cute BDSM Manga

Sysmtoys - games, toys, ideas

Tentacle BDSM Chair - yup

Fiction Authors:

Cherise Sinclair - Great BDSM Fiction Writer

[Masters of the Shadowlands 1] “Club Shadowlands”

[Masters of the Shadowlands 2] “Dark Citadel”

[Masters of the Shadowlands 3] “Breaking Free”

[Masters of the Shadowlands 4] “Lean on Me”

[Masters of the Shadowlands 5] “Make Me, Sir”

[Masters of the Shadowlands 6] “To Command and Collar”

Extra:

Please Punish Me! - Punishment Generator

The Carlilock - Chastity Belt Time-Delay Key Holding

Slave Contract Generator

BDSM Checklist

MojoUpgrade - Discover your kink Questioner

HumanSexMap - Exactly what it sounds like.

[lyndsay321]

#sexy, #classy, #lingerie, #blackbra

[littlekittenlottie]

Wants

I want to fuck your mind. I don’t care how gorgeous your body is or how large your cock is. I want to fuck your mind. I don’t care that I’m submissive and that not all our fetishes align. What I care about is your mind. Your beautiful, brilliant mind. I want to fuck you as your eyes stare into my soul, saying more than words ever can. I want to fuck the conversations we had and pictures we shared that left my throat parched and my pussy drenched. I want to stare into your eyes and know their depths. I want to touch each inch of your skin and know the stories behind every beautiful scar. I want to hear your voice sing me to sleep ballards of old. I want you to know my heart, it’s true desires and darkest fantasies. I want you to know, just by my voice, my mood. I want you to know my thoughts by one look at me. I want you to know when I’m filtering the truth. I want to be there for your triumphs and downfalls. I want to be your escape and your reality. I want to be curled up next to your body every night and morning. I want to kneel before you. I want to feel your strong hands on my skin. I want to know I’m yours. I want you to know me. All of me. I want you to know, just how much you mean to me. But mostly, I want to fuck your mind.

#me #2016

[a-london-gent]

Wonderful, The mind, always.

[lyndsay321]

The most important thing...