Because I’m in the mood to post sadstuck....
He barely hears the blue blood guards enter his cell again. Between the suppressor collar around his neck setting up an annoying buzz in his thinkpan, the drugs in his system and the searing ache burning through his bulge, nook and ass, he doesn’t have much attention to spare for anything happening outside himself. Rough hands drag him to his feet. Rough voices grate on his ears, taunting him with the way he screamed and begged for them to stop the night before — and promising him more of the same once he is “hooked up and helpless”. Hooked up? His mind puzzles over this for a moment…then the meaning hits him like a spear of ice running down his spine. They’re taking him to his doom. They’re taking him to become the living battery on board Her flagship, to become the Helmsman. He struggles in their grasp, a hoarse scream coming from his lips. The guards only laugh and tighten their grip almost to the point of breaking bone and continue on.
They pull him along, simply dragging him when he stops walking because his legs refuse to take another step. The supressor collar whines audibly as panic sets in, and he desperately tries to focus, tries to power up his psionics high enough to overload that hated collar. Memories of his days in the slave pens scroll across his inner vision, and his consciousness flashes back to those days. He growls and snaps at the guards dragging him along, becoming that half- civilized psionic again, intent only on escape. Without even breaking stride, one of the guards slaps him across the face, and he coughs, half choking as his own blood fills his mouth and drips down his chin. The pain snaps him out of his memories and brings him jarringly back to the present. He tries desperately to stop the honey-colored tears that spill from his eyes and the sobs that force themselves from his throat, but fails completely. He hears a voice begging, pleading with his guards to let him go, to not do this….even to kill him rather than continue dragging him to the horror that awaits him, and with a sense of shame he realizes the voice is his. The jeers of derision and scorn fill his ears, and still they drag him onward.
He is vaguely aware of being drug through a doorway and suddenly there is faint sunlight and fresher air. He can hear birds and smell the faint tang of the sea a few miles away….and his mind fills with the image of his beloved seadweller, his matesprit….Dualscar. For a few precious moments his ears fill with the sound of that rumbling baritone, laughing, talking of the things they would do on their next anniversary — six whole sweeps of being matesprits, even though they had to keep their relationship secret. He can see that scarred, yet beautiful face, feel that wonderful, amazingly sensual touch….the trembling glory of their bodies uniting, the sweet ecstasy of their shared passion — He is not aware that any of his memories showed on his face, not aware that his voice had sounded in a soft moan, until one of the guards laughs harshly, jeering at him, saying that he must be remembering the “fun” they had with him the night before. Those beautiful images and sensations vanish and sick dread coils inside him as he is brought back to the hellish present. He raises his head and his blurred vision is filled with the vast bulk of the Empress’s flagship and the gaping darkness of the hatch that the guards drag him ever closer to.
As they pass through that hellish portal into the dimness of the ship, his fear and panic explode. He screams and struggles, the bitter tang of overloaded electronics filling the air as the suppressor collar starts to beep loudly and smoke under the pressure of his psionics, his terror pushing his power level to a new high. A sense of hope, very faint, thrills through him — maybe, just maybe he can destroy this collar and break free. His mind won’t even consider the consequences of espcaping. All he can think of is escape and going back to his beloved. The faint sounds of panicked shouts and running feet penetrate dimly through the miasma of soul deep fear. There is a sharp pain as something impacts his skull with just enough force to stun him but no quite knock him unconscious. He can feel the damaged collar unlocked from his neck to be replaced with another one. Shaking his throbbing head weakly, trying to clear his mind, he becomes aware that his guards have stopped moving.
Slowly he raises his head, not wanting to see, but unable to stop himself from looking. His body begins to shake violently, tears streaming down his face a his arms are yanked above his head and bound by the sickly magenta ooze that surrounds them. He stuggles, oh how he struggles, but there is no getting free of this. Again he screams, begging them to not do this, begging as gut wrenching sobs rack his body for them to please, please just execute him. Surely not even facing a host of Horror Terrors would be as fearsome as the future that lies before him. There is a sharp prick at the base of his skull and an explosion of pain that renders him voiceless. Then more and more of those pricks and explosions of pain until his system overloads and he goes blissfully numb — physically numb that is. The soul-searing emotional pain, the despair, the longing to see, to hear, to feel his beloved and his friends, burns through his being. He cannot take this! It is unbearable! He will break, go completely insane! It is beyond his capacity to withstand this hell that he finds himself bound to!
Then just as he reaches his breaking point, he hears his beloved’s voice in his mind. That dearest of voices seems to come from far away, as if from a place and time far from his present, but at the same time as clear as if his matesprit were holding him in his arms.
"No matter how long it takes, my beloved, my dearest Psi, I will be waiting for you. We will be reunited, my love! I know this in the depths of my being! Be strong and hold on to this hope, love of my life, heart of my heart, flame of my soul! Alive or dead, we will be together again!"
And faintly he hears a song that he has never heard before, yet it resonates through his being, leaving a calmness that soothes, a hope that heals, and a promise that strengthens him to endure.
"I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don’t be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more.
All along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more.”
(Christina Perri - A Thousand Years)