Self Care Tips From Tumblr: When you feel like everyone hates you, sleep. When you feel like you hate everyone, eat. When you feel like you hate yourself, shower. Someone out there feels better because you exist.
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Prompt: John Lennon is the greatest, manliest, edgiest alpha male musician ever.
Let it be known unto the people that John Lennon is the greatest, manliest, edgiest alpha male musician ever.
These were the words that John Lennon repeated to himself every single day. There was no denying it: he was one sexy-ass motherfucker. So sexy, in fact, that he knew he could sweep the frickin Queen off her feet. It would be impossible for her to resist his alpha male manly-man charm.
While John repeated his mantra into the mirror of their dressing room before one of their gigs, the rest of his bandmates watched behind him, frowning with concern.
“He hasn’t always been this way, has he?” Ringo asked in a hushed tone.
“No, he’s always been a cocky lad,” Paul murmured. “He’s just letting it consume him now.”
“I think the camera crew may need to put up a warning before showing me handsome face on the tele tonight,” John turned to face his band members. “Otherwise all the birds will be pregnant in no time.”
This was a genuine concern for John to have, carrying the weight of being the greatest, manliest, edgiest alpha male musician ever. It was a stressful title to hold, but John knew that he was the only one on the planet who could do it. This was his purpose, his raison d’etre. And plus, edgy, manly, alpha males can’t complain. It’s not in their DNA.
“I think you may need an intervention,” George said slowly.
John let out a hearty chuckle and turned back to the mirror to admire his gorgeous cheekbones once more.
“That’s a good one, George,” he replied. “Especially since interventions are for the weak. And I’m not weak. I’m anything but weak. I’m an alpha. A manly, manly alpha. And I’m edgy. I smoke six cigarettes at once just because I can. The air isn’t good enough for my lungs.”
“Don’t you think you’re taking this a bit too far, John?” Paul begged.
“I exceed the limit on everything I do simply because I am the best,” John stated. “It’s not something I can help, it’s merely reality and, if you can’t accept that, then I don’t know what to tell you.”
Away from John, Paul, George, and Ringo reconvened.
“I think we need to humble him down,” Ringo conspired.
“That should do the trick,” Paul agreed.
“But how?” George asked. “He’s got the biggest head I’ve ever seen, I don’t know how his neck supports it.”
“We just have to tell him the harsh truth,” Paul decided.
“Yes,” Ringo nodded, “that his shoes look stupid.”
“That’s a start,” Paul said. They fanned out from their circle, facing John once more, and George called out to catch his attention. John rolled his eyes in the mirror because they were interrupting something really important and turned back around.
“What?” he asked. Paul nudged Ringo in the side, nearly making him lose his balance, and Ringo fumbled for his words.
“Your shoes are stupid,” he finally said. John raised an eyebrow.
“I’m sorry to see you projecting your insecurities onto me, Ringo,” he responded coolly. “I understand that you’re jealous, and that’s alright. I know you’ll move past it eventually.”
“This is gonna be harder than we thought,” George grumbled.
“Mick Jagger has more musk than you,” Paul tried. While that slowed John down for a second, he was able to bounce back quickly.
“If you call that musk, then you smell like a candy store,” John retorted. Paul’s shoulders sagged.
“When was the last time you actually shagged a bird?” George asked.
“Last night,” John said too quickly. “Tell your mother she was lovely.”
“Oh god,” Paul groaned out.
Each attempt they made to bring John down only made him stronger. He could sense their growing frustration but, more than anything, he wanted them to continue on. His ego was off the charts and he was in euphoria.
But, to his dismay, they had all thrown in the towel.
“I walked straight into that one,” George murmured to the ground. “I don’t want to say anything else stupid.”
“He called my shoes stupid,” Ringo agreed.
Paul looked at John with sad eyes and heaved out a sigh.
“I’m gonna get some fresh air. See ya on stage, John.”
"Fresh air is for the weak," John called to Paul as he left.
With shaking heads, George and Ringo trailed behind Paul, leaving John in the room alone.
“You’ve done it again, Lennon,” John whispered to himself. “The last man standing, because you are the best, the greatest, supreme.”
And then he leaned forward and kissed his reflection in the mirror right on the lips with so much passion, Narcissus would be jealous.
psa to everyone on antipsychotics during the summertime
some antipsychotics can make you more susceptible to heat exhaustion because they make it so your body cannot regulate your body temperature correctly. I learned this the hard way last summer, I got really nasty heat exhaustion while on a high dose of quetiapine. so check if your meds react badly to heat, and if they do, please be sure to wear your sunscreen, have light cover ups on or with you, wear a hat, and stay hydrated! be safe
here’s a quick guide on how i proofread and edit my essays as an humanities undergrad! i tend to spend more time on research and editing and much less time on writing and my first drafts are often horrendous, so editing is really important for me :^)
i’ve also created guides on essay preparation, the 5-paragraph essay, how to research, and how to write essays. you can find all my other masterposts here.
I’m not sure. Hey lovely people who have taken me over half way to a cool million! If you’d like to reblog again, I’d love that, if not, I still love you, and hope you’re having a great day. I’m gonna go do some stand up tonight.
Me: *Removes my cat from my lap to do something else.*
My cat: Father is...evil? Father is unyielding? Father is incapable of love? I am running away. I am packing my little rucksack and going out to explore the world as a lone vagabond. I can no longer thrive in this household.
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