texte du bas

30s. she/her. writer. music person. personal/fandom blog. en français parfois. writing blog. AO3

[machine-elf]

This spawn — starved, abused, and whored out by his master had a lifetime of bitterness and resentment pent up inside. His humanity had been stripped, beaten out of him by every reminder that he was owned for eternity. He was a beast but unable to let the beast out and gorge on the blood of the innocent. There had to be anger underneath this veneer of charm, a need for revenge. He would not be a sacrifice for Bhaal tonight — he would be His next acolyte. Bhaal’s Chosen stalks the night for a victim and finds a vampire spawn looking for the same. As they get acquainted, he finds Astarion too tragic to kill and instead turns his daggers on his master. He sees potential in the abused spawn, however, and takes him under his wing to mould into his perfect killer. Astarion suddenly finds himself liberated by an even deadlier monster than Cazador. Will this crazed fanatic be his salvation? Or is he merely trading one bondage for another? And everything changes once he catches the attention of the Dead Three…

Read on AO3 - please check content warnings!

My multi-chapter, plotty, pre-canon AU durgetash/durgestarion toxic trainwreck erotic thriller fic has begun. Hope you enjoy it, sickos.

[machine-elf]

Christ these playoffs are so disappointing. Why doesn't Carolina play like they did in the ECF? Can they at least smash into that rapist goalie over and over, maybe skates first?

[machine-elf]

I spoke too soon. Carolina I wasn’t aware of your game

[machine-elf]

Christ these playoffs are so disappointing. Why doesn't Carolina play like they did in the ECF? Can they at least smash into that rapist goalie over and over, maybe skates first?

[thegreatyin]

every so often i look at pictures of baby fruit bats and i start sobbing.

peace and love on planet earth.

[homunculus-argument]

I was raised on the strict principle that the driver only drives. Shotgun seat is a duty, not a privilege. Second seat is the first passenger, the second in command. Shotgun does everything that the driver needs done. Driver wants water, shotgun hands them the water bottle, already opened, and closes it after the driver has had their drink. Shotgun manages the navigator, googles things that popped into the driver's head and wants to look up real quick. Reads the driver's incoming texts and texts back as the driver dictates - upon the driver's request. Driver only drivers. If your ass itches you don't take your hands off the fucking wheel, the secondant scratches it for you.

Then you sit down in the car of someone who's an excellent never-had-a-crash driver and watch in horror as they go 80 kmh on a curving forest road, opening a water bottle one-handed while applying lip balm with the other, changing music by pecking their phone's touch screen with the tip of their nose like a bird, all the while steering with their left ass cheek, and you feel your soul leave your body just in case your body is also gonna leave the car after it, through the windshield, in the near foreseeable future.

[machine-elf]

Well, I sure hope the Canes can crush Vegas. That's what really matters.

[machine-elf]

Wow they're really playing like shit

[machine-elf]

Martin St Louis has not changed the lines at all... It's so over (vraiment)

[machine-elf]

Back from Europe now I can watch the playoffs. Can't wait to see the Habs score some goals again!

[sergeifyodorov]

I don't read as much fic as I used to but one "tell" for non Canadians writing us, besides the etransfer, is the units you use to describe us measuring something. I hate to tell you this but The Chart is real and it's completely subconscious. Please abide

[demotu-writes]

ETA the chart (or at least a version of it):

ETA2: we do use inches/miles in poetic ways ("he was lost in thought/miles away" or "his lips were a bare inch away").

Also, the length of a dick is in inches for SURE.

[machine-elf]

My husband has a theory called Car Makes You Fascist. Because everyone, no matter what kind of driver they are, will get pissed off by other drivers, and eventually believe that they are the only person on the road who knows how to drive. Everyone Else is an Idiot But Me. This bleeds into every other aspect of your life, maybe just in small ways, but it happens to everyone. Your temper is shorter and your tolerance smaller. Nobody is immune.

[hungwy]

Another reason why trains would be good is that most people are not good at driving

[machine-elf]

In northern Belgium and there are less English speakers than the Netherlands, and as it turns out, even less French speakers, so having to cobble together some Dutch without sounding too Dutch because they actually speak Flemish.

[yesornopolls]

Do you buy ingredients, prep, and cook a meal at least once a week? (heating frozen stuff doesn't count)

Do you buy ingredients, prep, and cook a meal at least once a week? (heating frozen stuff doesn't count)

Yes

No

Voting ended onMay 22

[bluehawk54]

Guess what turns 10 today

[bluehawk54]

Happy 20th Birthday John Freeman

[hawfstuff]

[machine-elf]

I love that my French has improved enough that I could eavesdrop on some of the most French conversations around me in Paris.

This guy and girl next to us on the terrasse, he is talking and talking about existentialism and Sartre said blah blah blah. And then he started talking about differentiating between sexual relationships while handrolling cigarettes. And you’d think this was a university student but he was at least in his 30’s. The poor girl barely said a word.

A different day, different terrasse, and two guys in athletic clothes sit down after jogging

“I really want a cigarette right now.”

“I think you’re not supposed to do that after running. Like I think that’s the one thing they say you really shouldn’t do.”

“But I really want one.”

“You need to learn to separate the pleasures in life, my friend.”

[machine-elf]

Everyone incensed that the refs aren't calling obvious penalties when the other team is almost murdering the Habs they've been doing this the entire goddamn playoffs all refs are biased against Canadian teams to juice the American market I fully believe this conspiracy