Theories everywere

She/her

[machsmile]

Fic Rec Master Post

Fandom:

Shadowhunters Fic Rec Master Post

[foodsies4me]

🕰️ please! I don’t think I’ve read this one.

Alright, the time-travel fic of doom that will not figure out what structure it wants! This is a pretty short snippet, but it is a pretty juicy one I think.

Magnus looks down at his wrist. The words that have been haunting him his since long before he could make sense of them look back , translucent and lifeless. The idea is laughable. The fact that he’s even considering the shadowhunter as a possibility is even more so. However—find me in the future—if there was ever someone who’d have a reason to say those words without having seen them, it would be the shadowhunter misplaced in time that’s currently sleeping in his spare room. “You can say that again, my darling rabbit,” Magnus breathes, the words barely audible over Chairman’s frustrated growl. “You can say that again.”

[foodsies4me]

Apollo for the make me write 🥰

Another Apollo snippet from the next chapter!

“That’s, I—” Fairchild visibly falters, her grip growing slack, while next to her her daemon presses its feathers flat. “I didn't know…” she finally relents. “Nobody told me.” Alec bites down the instinctive response that tries to escape, reminding himself Fairchild is no more than a mundane when it comes down to it. “You’re not a shadowhunter,” he tells her instead, ignoring the way Fairchild and her daemon bristle at the reminder. “There's no reason why anyone would have told you.” The answer makes her bristle even more, “I just want to stop Valentine from hurting my mom,” she defends, although her words miss the righteous tone they’d had earlier. “You're treating me like I’m a spy or—or secretly working for the Circle, or something. I just want to get my mom back before he finds an antidote for the potion she and Balu took, and I don’t—” Alec pauses. “What potion?” He asks with narrowed eyes.

[foodsies4me]

what is a mundane thing people are suprised shadowhunters know how to do? i think driving (but maybe only some of them because alot of them cant be bothered since they dont use it that often. alec 100% knows how to drive tho) because its funny imagining a shadowhunter driving school (also imagine alec and magnus teaching the trainees how to drive)

So, this was technically an ask to give my opinion on, but it sparked an idea and now I just had to write it.

---

Meeting Alexander and becoming the trainees go-to teacher on all things magical theory as a result has taught Magnus a surprising amount of things. Mainly that the standard shadowhunter curriculum is as varied and in-depth as it is unpredictable and superficial.

It's forever a coin toss whether a subject or name will be familiar to his darling beans, or brand new information they've never stumbled upon before. Some, naturally, he can guess: magical theory, potion making, ward construction and rune vectors isn't something he'd expect to be part of a shadowhunter's education.

Similarly, he doesn't expect them to know the names of the current mundane celebrities, what family and consumer science is, or adequate child care for that matter.

He knows some shadowhunters have additional training, mostly those from the Intelligence Department, to better fit in with the mundanes they work with. However, by far and large, nephilim education is a baffling mix of well-rounded and military-driven eclecticism--chemistry and mathematics are taught up to their finest details, while astronomy and psychology are left aside entirely. Rune practice proceeds writing and reading by several years, and yet each shadowhunter is expected to master a minimum of four different languages on top of their mother tongue.

Being able to drive a car is a rarity.

Terrifying as the thought is, Magnus knows that the average shadowhunter outruns a greyhound without their runes. Unlike the canines, they also have the endurance of the more-than-average pursuit predator and the hardiness of the typical werewolf. Taking that into account, learning how to drive a car would be superfluous at best, a waste of time at worst.

Which is why it comes as a surprise when he finds out Alexander, of all shadowhunters, has a driver's license.

"Isabelle, beloved second favorite Lightwood of mine--"

"I thought I was your third favorite."

"Don't sell yourself short, darling--Maxie and your brother are sharing a first place, which means the second place is entirely free and yours to claim. Now, can you tell me why your brother owns a driver's license?"

"Alec?" Izzy asks, putting the vials she'd been analyzing to the side. "I'm not sure, actually," she admits with a frown. "I'm pretty sure it had something to do with the trainees, but he's had one for so long, I don't really remember the reason for it. Why?"

"Just curious," he lies before he changes the subject to her latest experiment.

Looks like he'll have to find his answers somewhere else.

That 'somewhere else' ends up being the source of his latest mystery, Alexander himself.

"A little bird shared some surprising news with me today," he starts with, waiting for Alexander to take the bait before he continues. "It appears the esteemed Head of the New York Institute has a driver's license?"

Alexander looks adorably confused. "I guess so? It's technically Kyle's, but we glamour it to look like me."

Magnus muffles a laugh. As law-abiding as Alexander usually is, faking documents seems to be a favorite pastime of his--and of about two-thirds of the shadowhunters on the Intelligence Department, now that Magnus comes to think of it. It's a dichotomy he still can't quite manage to make sense of but endears him all the same.

As most things with Alexander tend to do.

"Isabelle mentioned your driving capacities had something do with our darling menaces?"

Alec's mouth twitches upward the way it always does where their children are concerned. "There's a drive-through zoo in Chittenago that Cristina likes to go to. We generally make a field trip out of it."

"And I suppose you're the one driving them around?"

"The mundanes freak out when they see Max and the others racing the cheetahs. If I'm driving I only have to make sure they use a visibility or a mendelin before they jump out of the car."

Magnus carefully doesn't try to think of the implications. He's still trying to forget the sight of Clara, small and short and a full forty pounds when soaking wet, diving off of a twelve-story building.

The memory of it terrifies him for more reasons than one.

"So, how does a shadowhunter come by a driver's permit?" he says to try and move past the unwelcome memory.

"The library and Blackstone," Alexander answers, but not before giving him a searching look. "He's had his permit the longest so he knows how to explain things. You okay?"

Magnus brushes the worry away. "Perfectly fine, darling, just a personal hang-up. I'll let you know if it keeps bothering me." He joins their fingers together for some additional reassurance, trying to send a wave of ease through their bond the way Alexander so easily manages to do.

"Will you be teaching the trainees?" he asks after a short lull of silence. He's pretty sure the answer will be no, after all there is no need for a shadowhunter to know how to drive a car.

The trainees have more freedom to be themselves than Alexander and his siblings had. However their training still is more led by what they need to know, than what they wish to learn. The focus still lies in becoming the best fighters, the best weapons, they can be.

Then again, this morning he was convinced Alexander didn't know how to drive a car either.

"If they want," Alexander says, defying Magnus' earlier thought. "I'm pretty sure only Max, Julian and Doris will need it, but that doesn't mean the others can't learn it."

Magnus almost asks why the others won't need it, only for his eyes land on the flyer that started this entire discussion. "Well, if you're planning to teach them--what do you say about getting a head start on that part of their education?"

He hands Alexander the flyer he'd stumbled upon, waiting as he reads through it.

"What's a go-kart?"

Shadowhunters.

"Something I think the trainees might enjoy," Magnus says, sidestepping the actual answer and earning himself an unimpressed stare from Alexander. "And I already checked, while we might have to put a glamour over Steph and Clara, children are otherwise welcome to join this one."

Does this have any kind of plot revelance for AWG? No. Is there any kind of true story or plot to this prompt? Nope. Was it fun to write? Yes

[foodsies4me]

Just imagine alec and magnus on a cute little bookshop/cafe date ❤️

I'm realizing, this might not be all *that* cute and that the books kind of disappeared halfway through, but shhhhh. (Also, I HC this as being in the Golden Words and Sapphire Rings universe even if it isn't outright mentioned. That said anyone is free to see this as being part of any universe they want.)

-----

Staring at the jarred salamander eyes and the dried fire roaches, Magnus realizes that bringing Alexander with him to Céline's shop for their fourth date was maybe not his best idea to date--pun only partially intended.

Céline's shop is clean and bright. As usual, two windows are open to allow a gentle breeze to pass and invite the sunlight further inside, while an incense stick burns on the counter to sterilize the more unpleasant scents potion ingredients bring with them.

When it comes to warlock shops, it's by far the most welcoming one Magnus knows of.

Nevertheless, it is still a warlock shop.

No matter how interested Alexander had looked after Magnus' accidental stumble into a ten-minute lecture on ward structures, Magnus doubts the little he's learned from Ragnor and Catarina prepared him for this: jarred tongues, hearts, dried claws, scales, fur. All of the more grotesque-looking potion ingredients no matter how harmless or essential they are.

"Bane, I see you're here to defile my shop again," Céline greets, head briefly poking out of the side chamber she reserves for her favorite guests. Magnus watches her eyes drift over to Alexander, pupils widening and smile growing slightly more strained. "With company so it seems."

Alexander, dear heart that he is, doesn't appear to notice the sudden tension, giving Céline a throwaway nod in greeting as his eyes continue to scan the different items presented around the aisles.

His eyes scan the jarred items, cataloguing the different objects withing it, and looking at it from a non-warlock perspective, Magnus probably should have suggested something else.

"I'm realizing I should perhaps have warned you for some of the more...intimidating ingredients. That said, the book section should be easier on the eyes, if you still want to peruse them."

Alexander throws him a quizzical look, "What?"

Magnus inclines his head to the left, bringing Alexander's gaze to the jarred salamander eyes they're standing next to. "I forgot these can be rather jarring to see to someone unused to potion making."

Alexander rolls his eyes at the deliberate pun, shaking his head good-naturedly before he turns his eyes back to a jar with a cluster of dunxo eyes. "You do know I'm a shadowhunter, right?" he asks, eyes curiously trailing over the different pupil shapes that are customary for such a large cluster. "I promise, this doesn't bother me."

"It's mostly the ingesting part that people struggle with," Magnus relents, sharing a commiserating look with Céline. "Or well, realizing these are ingredients one will be ingesting."

Alexander shrugs, "I'm pretty sure everyone at the institute has had demon flesh and blood in their mouth at some point--either as an accident or a dare. I doubt it can be worse than that."

Magnus blinks, running that sentence through in his mind again, as well as a third and fourth time when it still refuses to make sense.

"What do you mean as a dare?"

Alexander startles, turning his eyes back to Céline who has dropped all pretenses of not eavesdropping on their conversation. "Sometimes the only way to get loose from a demon is by biting them before they bite your arm off or something."

Magnus isn't sure what he finds most terrifying in that sentence, the visual it creates or the matter-of-fact tone Alexander delivered it with.

Céline looks as disturbed as he does, although probably for a different reason. She also catches the evasion Magnus absolutely missed. "That sounds more like a Life or Death situation, not a dare."

A hint of a flush makes its way to Alexander's cheeks, hazel eyes darting his way before finding their way to an empty vial that they don't stray away from. "Uh well...,"

"Alexander, darling little heart, petal, please don't tell me--"

"Technically, Jace did it first."

That does not make things any better, and Magnus tells him as much.

"I mean it works well enough if you dropped your weapons, but--Baybrook and Rosales threw up the first time they got some in their mouth and Jace bet he could do so without throwing up. Things...kind of spiraled from there."

"I take it Ragnor and Catarina don't know anything about this particular tradition?" Magnus asks, unsure whether he wanted to know about it. he has half a mind to tell Alexander he could have called him before having to resort to chowing down on demons out to kill him.

Which, Magnus doesn't even want to begin imagining the taste. Potions generally range from foul to fouler, but Magnus has had to intercept enough demon attacks to know that, depending on the species, the smell alone can be tasted on one's tongue. He doesn't want to imagine--

"So what'd you say they taste like?"

Magnus shoots Céline, who seems to have gotten over her shadowhunter-wariness enough to make her way over to them, a betrayed look. She brushes it off with little to no care, "Call it a healthy sense of curiosity."

"Pretty hard to say," Alexander says after some consideration. "It depends on what demon you're dealing with, but mostly like a mix between mold, rot and...vinegar? Still beats Izzy's cooking, though, according to Jace."

[foodsies4me]

🌉

I was going to do a lot of make me writes today to try and catch up, only to get really into working on the Andrew POV (that I can now confirm will stay an Andrew POV). So, only one make me write (unless I manage to get in some more words between now and bedtime), my apologies, but I did manage 1k words for this fic 😊

Anyway, snippet!

While he wouldn’t say his patience is as far-reaching as that of some of his colleagues, Andrew generally prefers to give grace where he can, and understanding where he can’t. It’s an approach that has followed him both on and off the field, from a simple shadowhunter among hundreds to his current occupation as Head of Security. It’s not an approach he always enjoys keeping to. Giving grace to mistakes that shouldn’t happen is hard; being understanding when you’re bleeding from three major arteries is harder. However, at the end of the day, all of them are Nephilim, not all of them are shadowhunters. The reminder usually goes a long way in making sure he keep his less favorable opinions under control—all of them are Nephilim, not all of them are shadowhunters. Maybe it was sharing a childhood with someone that could have been on the field with him, if things had turned out differently, or maybe it was watching his mother thrive in the Conservatory far away from missions and demon patrols. Whichever the case, Andrew realized long ago that the saying went further than just their runes and the potential inability to wear them. Which is why he tries to give their Heads grace when they begin to pass off certain duties in favor of others. Besides, keeping a good rapport with other institutes is one of the many tasks a Head of Institute is expected to fulfill, as is maintaining an open rapport with Alicante and sitting in on the occasional Council gathering. It’s generally not expected to be their main tasks, but it is still one of them. Understanding why they appointed their son as Acting Head took significantly longer.

[foodsies4me]

🐺

Alright two small notes about this fic in particular.

1: This is an Askel POV fic that takes place in AWG (more specifically the sequel I haven't updated in AO3-knows-how-long). It also features the disaster that is Crow and, of course, Alec--who is the only one who really knows what he's doing in this (probably 3-chapter) fic.

2: This is technically a gift fic for @kalalab, but she has given me permission to share snippets of this fic, so snippet

In some ways, this trip is a big old fuck you to his parents above everything else. His pack being his pack. Astrid makes him promise to stay clear of any other downworlders and to call if anything happens. Dima tells him to stay out of trouble with all of thr severity of a spiraling mother hen. Sven and Elena prepare him three days’ worth of food, Hannele forces him to wear a thick coat and a scarf, and Johan and Lesedi make a list with all of the souvenirs they want him to bring back. “We’re not going for the American chocolate. Request rejected and denied.” A short trip by himself also had the benefit of tackling one of his one-too-many fears that he’s never managed to share: getting abducted. For reasons he never managed to figure out, getting abducted always ranked somewhere between his father’s second-in-command and fire. He doesn't know what prompted the fear. He also doesn’t know why he has always tied that fear to mundanes and not shadowhunters. But, for as long as he remembers, the thought of being taken and sold for his pelt has kept him awake at night. In the panic-induced daydreams he’d have, being kidnapped was a constant stream of waking up chained to a basement wall, helpless and afraid. The reality is pretty anticlimactic. "Wha—are you fucking laughing?!" "You mean you're not?"

[foodsies4me]

🌉

Some more Andrew! This fic has officially crossed the 2k mark and they're only now getting into the plotting-shenanigans. Mostly because Underhill keeps putting in worldbuilding elements without my say-so!

“Is there any way we can temporarily appoint a second Acting Head? Something to get us out of this mess before the institute falls and Alec murders us for getting the kids killed.” Andrew pauses, his focus trailing off halfway through the sentence he was reading. A second Acting Head…now there’s a thought, although, perhaps not in the way Reuel was thinking. “Clause 174 section 27 of the Accords forbids all current known forms of necromancy. He’d dispose of our bodies in a body of water and prevent peace to soul, body or ashes. There are enough precedents to grant immunity from Clave repercussion for that.” Speaking from a solely legal point of view, the institute already has a second Acting Head. Even if said shadowhunter has never taken on any of the duties tied into that role. Not that Andrew would want him to either. “Don’t think Alec would be caring much about Clave repercussions in that scenario. But, I take it that’s a no on the second Acting Head, then?”

[machsmile]

Any chance that the second Acting Head is Jace because of they being parabatai?

[foodsies4me]

🌉

Some more Andrew! This fic has officially crossed the 2k mark and they're only now getting into the plotting-shenanigans. Mostly because Underhill keeps putting in worldbuilding elements without my say-so!

“Is there any way we can temporarily appoint a second Acting Head? Something to get us out of this mess before the institute falls and Alec murders us for getting the kids killed.” Andrew pauses, his focus trailing off halfway through the sentence he was reading. A second Acting Head…now there’s a thought, although, perhaps not in the way Reuel was thinking. “Clause 174 section 27 of the Accords forbids all current known forms of necromancy. He’d dispose of our bodies in a body of water and prevent peace to soul, body or ashes. There are enough precedents to grant immunity from Clave repercussion for that.” Speaking from a solely legal point of view, the institute already has a second Acting Head. Even if said shadowhunter has never taken on any of the duties tied into that role. Not that Andrew would want him to either. “Don’t think Alec would be caring much about Clave repercussions in that scenario. But, I take it that’s a no on the second Acting Head, then?”

[foodsies4me]

@carelessflower asked for the baby trap AU, so here it is! (Also, I apologize this part needs some major editing. But one of the things I try to do with the make me writes is to write first and foremost. Editing and such can come later.

Magnus stares at the items that he knows for a fact weren’t decorating his living room the previous night. The crib looks, for lack of any other word, cozy. The wood is a warm brown and polished into a smooth, reflecting surface. The mattress is light blue and littered with cartoonish clouds. The drawer at the bottom of the crib is pulled open to reveal napkins, baby wipes and other miscellaneous stuff Magnus hadn’t expected to find first thing in the morning. “You are aware I have magic for all this, right?” Magnus asks after Lightwood has made his way back inside, Max still sleeping with his head on the shadowhunter’s shoulder. “There was no need to buy any of this.” He wisely doesn’t ask the shadowhunter when he even had the time to buy all of this. The man left his loft somewhere between four and five am. Considering it’s not even lunchtime, he can’t have much if any sleep before he apparently decided to raid the local baby stores.

[gaynehollander]

Shane and Ilya celebrate anniversaries with a frequency that baffles their friends. They just love having a reason to celebrate the fact that they made it through all the bullshit and now get to love each other openly.

Ilya maintains that the wedding with the Pike children is their wedding anniversary, while Shane insists that the day they got legally married is. Consequently, they each plan the celebrations on the day they feel counts (and it is a constant competition of trying to one-up what the other one planned).

Shane is also of the belief that their relationship anniversary is the day Ilya called himself Shane’s boyfriend for the first time but Ilya counts from their conversation in Tampa, which is when they became exclusive (regardless of the fact that this was not discussed between them). Again, they celebrate both days.

They both want to celebrate the first time they told each other they loved each other but Ilya insists that the time he said it in Russian over the phone counts, so two separate anniversaries it is.

Ilya insists on celebrating the first day Shane flirted with him and Shane agrees because the first day they met is a special occasion, although he still maintains he wasn’t flirting ("Shane, you shook my hand twice" "I am not having this argument again"). So they also mark their draft day, as the first day Shane picked up on the fact that Ilya was flirting.

Of course they celebrate the CCM shoot day, it was their first kiss, their first sexual experience together, the day everything changed, but they also celebrate their anal-versery and the first time they fucked without condoms.

Ilya insists on marking the day they met on the ice for the first time as the first time he beat Shane, so Shane decides the day he won Rookie of the Year (the only award either of them has that the other has no chance of ever winning) deserves to be celebrated.

One time they said they couldn’t make it to post-game drinks because it was their anniversary and Troy asked, “oh, which one is it this time?” only to find out they were celebrating the first time they had phone sex. After that the Cens learned not to ask questions.

[penandinkprincess]

For bedtime rules bb!shane: I see you and raise you a child who refuses to get out of bed after being tucked in for the night because That’s Against Bedtime Rules. Signed a child who lost a tooth and almost refused to go tell her parents about even they the tooth fairy def needed to know.

What shenanigans are happening to Shane because it’s after bedtime and he’s Not going to get out of bed? I think he watches spaghetti escape and only mentions it the next morning.

OH GOD WAIT. THIS MEANING THAT WHEN HE *DOES* GET OUT OF BED AFTER BEDTIME, IT MEANS SOMETHING IS VERY WRONG.

which means when yuna wakes up to shane and david having a hushed conversation at 3 in the morning, she's immediately just oh my god my baby what's wrong with my baby something is wrong with-

and then she has to hear that The Snake is LOOSE!!! IN HER FUCKING HOME!!!!!

and shane is in tears and clearly upset because that's his FRIEND!! and he's MISSING!!!

and yuna is trying SO HARD to be a supportive and loving mama to her very distressed baby right now, but internally she is just

[gaynehollander]

A few years into Shane playing for Ottawa, one of the younger Centaurs, maybe Holmberg, comes to him with a problem. He has been sleeping with this girl for a while now and he's so into her but she travels for work and he knows she has a couple of regular hookups all over the place. So, since Shane - judging by Cap's reputation - has been in a similar position, he asks him how he convinced Roz to be exclusive.

Shane stares at him, uncomprehendingly, for a second before slowly replying, "...I didn't."

Holmberg gives him a deeply skeptical look. "I've seen the way you react when people flirt with Roz in front of you," he says, "there's no way you guys have an open relationship."

"No," Shane clarifies immediately. He would rather set himself on fire than have to live with sharing his husband with another person. "No, we're exclusive," he confirms, "but I never asked him to stop sleeping with other people. He just kind of... stopped. I didn't even find out until a few months after it happened so, I don't know, maybe just wait it out?"

Eventually, the Centaurs learn that, although Cap and Hollzy have clearly found in each other what most people spend their lives searching for, they are the absolute worst people to ask for any type of relationship advice.

[cygnahime]

Hanahaki disease is a psychosomatic illness. It's a thing that your body does in response to stress over constantly repressing/concealing your feelings in settings with high background magic. It's like you've been ignoring pain for a long time and suddenly your vision starts going dark, because your affected body is just YANKING on random alerts trying to get you to PAY ATTENTION there is a PROBLEM. Yes the flowers do really exist. So do non-magical psychosomatic symptoms. The flowers aren't special.

This does of course open up the trope to options for non-romantic concealed feelings. Which I think is great. There is something viscerally satisfying about the person who seems so outwardly chipper coughing and hacking and spitting up Depression Flowers so now everyone has to know they're hurting. Isn't there?

[specificwatcher]

Hanahaki, but it's a child that feels neglected by their parents.

Hanahaki, but it's someone whose friends have started ghosting them.

Hanahaki, someone's wife is cheating on them.

Hanahaki, the disease that gives you three options: confront your feelings, destroy the love you hold for someone or perish choking on roses.

[totally-cis-offical]

Imagine this for transness

[mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026]

Hanahaki but it’s your body desperately needing you to love and care for it while your mind is trapped in the body that doesn’t fit, that’s wrong as it destroys you from the inside out the longer you aren’t able to get help to make your body feel like you

[deathlyfandoms]

There also needs to be a button for “this is the 5000th time I’ve read your fic because I’m having a horrible day and this is the only thing in the world that always brings me happiness.”

[my-nameless-bliss]

good news: there is!

[bodhrancomedy]

Look, it’s a weird hill to die on, especially when I don’t really explain, but children deserve to experience fear, disgust, and discomfort in safe scenarios where they can process those sensations.

Media for children used to be scary and that’s important.

[the-davest-of-uncles]

“Since it is so likely that (children) will meet cruel enemies, let them at least have heard of brave knights and heroic courage. Otherwise you are making their destiny not brighter but darker.” ― C.S. Lewis

[grace-in-the-wilderness]

"Fairy tales do not tell children the dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children the dragons can be killed."

-- G. K. Chesterton

[coffincoitus]

a scene must be included PRIOR to sex where the characters READ their birth certificates OUT LOUD so the reader will know they were born on the SAME DATE to avoid any disgusting AGE GAPS

[camille-lachenille]