Don't Worry, Be Happy

In the words of my favorite 19th century transcendentalist and romantic poet, Walt Whitman, "Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you. But don't look directly at the sun, that shit fuckin' burns."

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At 2 am I thought I had the funniest idea: a band called "Lent." So when people announce them at shows, they'll shout, "Give it up for 'Lent'!" Still made me laugh when I got up this morning.

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Sometimes I wish I could grow a beard just so I can go on a long journey of transcendence and self-discovery and be able to gauge how long I've been away from society.

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I hate it when people end an opinionated statement with "if you want to know the truth." As if everything they think is scientifically proven correct. It's downright arrogant and annoying if you want to know the truth.

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Random Thought of the Day

Man, if I was paralyzed from the waist down I'd get so many awesomely detailed leg tattoos.

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Watching the devastating outcomes of these court cases is kind of like watching your favorite sports team lose game after game.

I keep rooting for the criminal justice system to finally prevail, but they keep disappointing me, and it's getting harder to not be embarassed by my team.

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Gets Me Every Time

You know those moments that just hit you right in the feels every single time? Yeah...we all do. Here's one of them:

  Gets Me Every Time #2:

The "But I wipe my own ass!" scene in Big Daddy. Who didn't just want to hug that young little Sprouse during that heart-wrenching scene? 

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2s5DIhK0jzg

    Queue the lip quivering and the misty eyes.

  (Also, those court scenes with Julian were pretty heart-breaking.)

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Gets Me Every Time

You know those moments that just hit you right in the feels every single time? Yeah...we all do. Here's one of them:

  Gets Me Every Time #1:

Spongebob and Patrick's heart-breaking rendition of the Goofy Goober theme song after they realized they made it to Shell City, and it seems they are bound to parish under brutal lamplight.

http://youtu.be/l9Uj8sVYnRQ

  It makes me cry like a pirate every time.

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Things Only 90s Kids Will Understand

This trip back to the Gay Nineties will hit you right in the childhood.

  -You practically grew up with the Barrymore siblings; and everyone had a favorite.

-Edgar Allen Poe stories would give you nightmares for a week! But you couldn't stop reading them.

-The thought of a teacher even holding a ruler still makes you cringe.

-Before the film projector, we had the kinetoscope. Thanks again, Edison!

  -Also, we had victrolas, NOT iPods.

-You never missed an Arthur Conan Doyle "Sherlock Holmes" story in the Strand Magazine.

-The more layers of clothes you had, the stronger your fashion game was.

-There was only one name in good science fiction novels: H. G. Wells.

-You loved ragtime, but if you were white then you weren't quite sure how to dance to it. Actually, you just weren't quite sure how to dance.

-If you had 5 cents then you were getting some Wrigley gum. End of story.

-You MASTERED hoop rolling.

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SpongeBob don't give a fuck about stereotypical gender roles!

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If you ever feel like you're not the person you thought you'd be yet, just remember that Justin Timberlake once had curly frosted tips and a right-ear piercing while in a 90s boy band. You're probably gonna turn out fine.

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Math Daydream Idea #5: Modern Day Typewriter

I have a lot of interesting ideas during math class, they're just usually never about math.

Math Daydream Idea #5:

Modern Day Typewriter

   Are you sick and tired of unreliable computers and printers crashing or running out of ink right when you have an 8 page term paper due? Do you feel like you just need to get away from that bright screen for awhile? Do you want to feel hip and bohemian by writing like Ernest Hemingway and Mark Twain? Well now you can!

-The only reason why many of us, who are sick of having to rely on computers and printers, don't use typewriters or just hand write papers is because they have to be in some special MLA or APA format. That's where the Modern Day Typewriter comes in. 

-The typewriter is in Times New Roman, 12-point font, can be set to single or double spaced, and is programmed to leave 1-inch margins.

Say goodbye to unreliable technology and go channel your inner F. Scott Fitzgerald with the MLA-formatted, modern day typewriter!

[maydaytrippe]

An Illustrated Guide to American Personhood by Sarah Baker.

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When is the last time you listened to Whitney Houston's "I Wanna Dance With Somebody?"

(Note: the correct answer should be every morning to get pumped for the day.)

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Math Daydream Idea #4: Mom Olympics

I have a lot of interesting ideas during math class, they’re just usually never about math.

Math Daydream Idea #4:

Olympics for Moms

-Baby gate hurdles while carrying breakfast -Changing diapers race -60 second house clean up -Relay race: cooking, washing dishes, get kids ready for bed, etc.

Moms have the hardest (and most thankless) job; so why not have an Olympics for them to show off their mom skills and get medals and trophies for it?

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There's two kinds of people in this world: people who know the value of a dollar, and the rich.

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Math Daydream Idea #3: Einstein Movie

I have a lot of interesting ideas during math class, they're just usually never about math.

Math Daydream Idea #3:

Einstein Movie

An accurate film based on Albert Einstein's life with Einstein portrayed by Paul F Tompkins. The film would depict his whole life, showing not only his genius, scientific feats, but also his struggles. The movie would be simply titled: Einstein.

We've had plenty of Abe Lincoln movies. Why hasn't there been a good Einstein movie yet?

[macizzle-lee-blog]

Math Daydream Idea #2: National Gender Role Reversal Day

I have a lot of interesting ideas during math class, they're just usually never about math.

Math Daydream Idea #2:

National Gender Role Reversal Day

-For a whole day, men and women switch society's absurd and demanding gender roles. For example:

Men feel pressured to look perfect and are constantly sexually harassed by women.

Women feel pressured to look and act "manly" and are forced to suppress their feelings and never cry.

Men are belittled, paid less, and ultimately only valued for their looks because that's their only redeeming quality.

Women treat everything as if it has the potential to diminish their masculinity, which apparently is directly linked to their genitalia.

Let's walk in the other genders' shoes for a day and realize everyone has struggles.