Figuring It Out

Welcome .... I am currently in my twenties, on an adventure to figure out life. My upbringing didn't give me the basic knowledge for the fundamentals of life, so here I am learning all I can on my own. I am sharing my findings to look back on later and to help others who are struggling as I am. I am learning about relationships, friendships, communication, mental health, and pretty much how to be a basic functioning human being.

[maelstromofthemind]

[maelstromofthemind]

Your words were so beautiful

With a smile as bright as the sun how could I not believe it all

Promises of a radiant future

I failed to notice the chains that were slowly wrapping around me

You slowly took everything away

You were all I had

While you had everything

But you promised you loved me

And that's all I've ever wanted

So I stayed

Even when your voice made me tremble

And eventually when my skin turned shades of blue and purple

You promised you loved me

After every bottle

And making my eyes water

You promised you loved me

One day you decided to try to take my life away

Today I still find myself thinking "maybe he still loves me"

- PG 2025

[maelstromofthemind]

To Love A Narcissist

Never have I experienced darkness quite like this

Soul crushing

Endless

Stagnation and Pain

No one to blame

But myself

I've walked into an ocean,

Chained with bricks

What did I expect?

Love.

To be loved.

[maelstromofthemind]

Years later and the curse still resides

Deep in my wretched soul

Yearning for connection

Yet it never feels quite right

The emptiness is burning

I feel that after all these years of being set ablaze

All that exists is ash and ember

Ready to drift away

- PG Jan 2025

[seabeck]

Around the corner

[thehobbitchronicles]

[maelstromofthemind]

My cats help my mental health so much. Taco is always so silly, and he is always by my side. He even sleeps beside me every night. Pumpkin is elegant, but also mysterious. I have definitely learned that spending more time with them greatly improves my mental health

[maelstromofthemind]

[maelstromofthemind]

I saw this somewhere and thought it would be a great thing to practice 😊

[maelstromofthemind]

More pics from my lovely walk yesterday evening 🐿🦆☀️

[maelstromofthemind]

A beautiful Blue Jay I spotted while walking through a local park 🌳

[angelwitch-abracadabra]

Happy Lammas everyone! Lammas (or Lughnasadh) is an ancient Gaelic festival that marks the beginning of the harvest season,celebrated on August 1st in the northern hemisphere and on the 1st of February in the southern hemisphere.

1.August.2023

[maelstromofthemind]

I know this doesn't go along with my usual aesthetic, but I wanted to post a bit about my personal life.

After 2 weeks of absolute agony and multiple doctors telling me I had an ear infection, and then treatments for ear infections not working, I finally found out what has been causing me my excruciating pain. I have TMJ disorder.

It is so painful for me to chew, brush my teeth, talk, and this has also caused my earlobes to swell, which is the greatest source of my pain.

I am on unpaid leave from work. There is no date to when I should be feeling better, if I actually do get better. I am so afraid I am going to lose my job and become homeless.

My stomach has begun hurting from the painkillers I have been told to take, so I can no longer take any pain medication to manage my suffering. If I do my organs will fail and I will start bleeding internally.

All of this started just a few days after I had begun to truly feel less depressed and hopeful that my life would be okay.

[dirtygoodgrief-deactivated20260]

I would give anything to be everything you never knew you needed

[leftiswhatgodmademe]

Live

Life is the waking and battling of urges to not exist.

A shadow not so violent

A voice without malice

A feeling just above numb

I fight

Just hard enough

To write this

Live

[seabeck]

Tiny forest details

[therotryzit]

Mushrooms and non vascular plant life

[nikswonderland]

Monet’s House & Garden… ig credit: ch1ckentendou