MAGICALFUCKINGUNICORNS

Hello. This is me screaming into the void. Shoot me a message so we're both less lonely.

[bunjywunjy]

Could i please get a small mammal cursed bio fact if u have one

the grasshopper mouse of the southwestern United States looks like a standard house mouse but is almost entirely carnivorous and is known to kill and consume everything from less homicidal mice to goddamn rattlesnakes, which they kill by jumping onto the snake’s back and gnawing through its spine

[bunjywunjy]

behold…. a Bastard

[lectorel]

Cat OS running on mouse hardware.

[xekstrin]

they also howl! 

[okami-zero]

Wolf OS running on mouse hardware.

[bunjywunjy]

I’m glad you all love this tiny rodentious bastard mammal, but I can see we’re going to need to have the conversation about hiding things in the tags

[teapotsahoy]

It also metabolises scorpion venom as a painkiller

[lil-starpup]

You can port Doom onto anything these days

[magicalfuckingunicorns]

God I wish these were also in the southeastern US. Would appreciate snake control.

[stunningpicture]

After a lot of rain here in FL these baby frogs appeared. They eerily all faced the same direction.

[guo-jia]

ＴＨＥ ＲＩＴＵＡＬ ＨＡＳ ＢＥＧＵＮ

[sanjuanfrog]

Baby time

[magicalfuckingunicorns]

The baby tree frogs are back! Tis a glorious sight!

A bit disturbing to listen to them all, but they are cute!

[babyanimalgifs]

Honestly my dogs are profiting from dropped crumbs and toilet paper thrones, so win win.

via @andlikelaura

[magicalfuckingunicorns]

My cat is so stressed by everyone being home, I just bought him anti anxiety hemp drugs. Can't wait for them to get here because he's trying to lick himself bald.

[magicalfuckingunicorns]

I came here for a distraction and all I got were new porn blogs following me. Please stop, I don't wanna see naked women. If I did I'd just stare at the mirror and stop knocking when going into people's rooms.

[just-shower-thoughts]

If you aren’t the sharpest tool in the shed, you can still be the hoe.

[magicalfuckingunicorns]

A dull hoe is useless though. Needs to be decently sharp to work well.

[imposterogers]

what if the teenage mutant ninja turtles exist in the mcu but they’re just really good at staying under the radar and criminals are too embarrassed to admit they got beat up by some guys in “turtle costumes” so they blame daredevil. peter parker worked as a pizza delivery boy for a while and brought like eight pizzas to a man hole cover but thought nothing of it bc nyc

[imposterogers]

peter parker: i once was one minute late delivering pizza and the dude was like “forgiveness is divine, but never pay full price for late pizza” 

clint barton: oh cool u met one of the tmnt 

literally everyone: who 

clint: am i the only one in this goddamn city who knows about the crimefighting turtles that live in the sewers 

(they all think clint is playing an elaborate prank on them, especially when he shows them a photo of four guys wearing what are ‘very obviously halloween costumes’)

[sweetiesoju]

fun fact: it’s TMNT canon that the chemical container that hit Matt Murdock across the face and gave him his Daredevil abilities is the same canister that landed on the baby turtles and mutated them, so…..y’all aren’t far off

[captainlordauditor]

i’m sorry it’s WHAT

[theyoungestwhateleydaughter-dea]

TMNT started as a Daredevil parody.

Matt’s teacher is Stick. The turtle’s is Splinter.

Matt’s enemy is the Hand. The turtle’s is the Foot Clan.

It was originally a dark, edgy, turtle themed parody of Daredevil.

[magicalfuckingunicorns]

My childhood was a lie.

[rainbowkarolina]

Captain Marvel (2019) dir. Anna Boden & Ryan Fleck

[teaboot]

So many dudes are freaking out about this and it’s beyond funny because this is pretty much every woman’s fantasy reaction to creepy dudes being assholes from the age of like 10 on up. Like 80% of us would do this every time given the slightest chance of getting out of it alive

[magicalfuckingunicorns]

God I love this.

[bunjywunjy]

Could i please get a small mammal cursed bio fact if u have one

the grasshopper mouse of the southwestern United States looks like a standard house mouse but is almost entirely carnivorous and is known to kill and consume everything from less homicidal mice to goddamn rattlesnakes, which they kill by jumping onto the snake's back and gnawing through its spine

[magicalfuckingunicorns]

Imma need 100 of them. Gotta release them into the wild, let them have at the local rattlesnake population.

[shencomix]

[magicalfuckingunicorns]

Fun story: we had a swarm on a rosebush, so we called our neighbor to remove them. He's a part-time beekeeper, we keep gardens in our yard, so he told us he'd move a hive close to our property so they could pollinate everything. (No insecticides or pesticides used here!)

[just-shower-thoughts]

You never realise how noisy simple tasks are until you need to do them at 3am while everybody is asleep.

[magicalfuckingunicorns]

This is exactly why I do chores that late. Everyone is asleep at the other end of the house, CPAPs on, and are also hard of hearing, so nobody notices. 😀

[bunjywunjy]

A PARTIAL LIST OF WINTER JOYS:

karate-kicking the icicles off your car when you get out of work ksssh ksssshhhhh

[bunjywunjy]

A PARTIAL LIST OF WINTER JOYS, CONTINUED:

when it's cold enough to wear mittens so now it's time to do the Mr. Krabs laugh and pinch people

[bunjywunjy]

A PARTIAL LIST OF WINTER JOYS, EXPOUNDED:

you can see your breath? time for I AM FIRE, I AM DEATH

[sleepingkarkats]

A PARTIAL LIST OF WINTER JOYS, ADDENDUM:

step on the thin ice, crunch crunch

[magicalfuckingunicorns]

A PARTIAL LIST OF WINTER JOYS, CONTINUED:

Sitting by the woodstove after coming inside.

[magicalfuckingunicorns]

GOODBYE 20DIETEEN

Also goodbye 2010s. It's been,,, weird.

HELLO 2020.

Idc if I'm early, Imma start this decade right and sleep at a semi-normal hour.

[victoriel-translations]

Test your colour vision

[obscene-queen]

IM A FUCKING MOLE

[obscene-queen]

i tried again and got dog HOW AM I AN ART KID

[tenduelimagines]

I’M A HAWK WTF I’M BASICALLY BLIND

[magicalfuckingunicorns]

Well, I'm not surprised it called me a robot. Got a 35....

[inkovert]

hello I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. The anonymity of tumblr means that I associate my idea/image of you with your icon and sometimes I look at people’s icons and I’m like ‘hmmm….what is that and why?’ 

so pls reblog this and comment in the tags the meaning behind your icon and why you chose it. this is a social experiment. do it for science pls.

[inthetags]

reblog with the last song you listened to in the tags

[magicalfuckingunicorns]

This guy keeps perching on things that jjjuusstt support him and stares into my house.

He's a good birb, he can look in my living room.

[cremsie]

Tell me y’all’s favorite pokemon and why! 

Reblog with a pic and a reason as if you’re showing off your pets thats the mood I want 

[magicalfuckingunicorns]

They're such good kitcats! So fluffy, loveable, and unstable, just like me. Would get along great with my older cat, Toes. Especially if I had two and both randomly evolved to flareon and glaceon, then he could rest his old bones against the heat and cold as needed. Or both, make a kitcat sandwich.