What the Fuck is My Life?

@magickal-lyss-redirect

Alyssa. 21. New York. My life is a mess. I write things sometimes. Mostly just a fan of things. Sidebar gif not mine. If you're here for witchy stuff, that blog is lyssbabywitch.

641 posts

theglowpt2-deactivated20200101

joss whedon: loki tortures and murders people for fun, and, despite being the god of CHAOS, is a fascist who says things like “it’s the unspoken truth of humanity that you crave subjugation”

taika waititi: loki is an annoying little shit who day-drinks, puts on theater about himself, and fucks his way to the top

joss whedon: loki and thor are gods, so they always talk proper and posh and in cryptic riddles so for no reason. it makes them seem more powerful and mystical.

taiki waititi: one time when they were kids loki turned into a snake because he knows thor loves snakes and then thor went to pick up the snake and then loki turned back into himself and screamed “yueagh, it’s me!” and then he stabbed thor

Taika Waititi has a deeper understanding of Norse mythological accuracy than Joss lol

fleetwood-mac-andcheese

It’s because Joss Whedon looks at all mythology and religion through a Christian-atheist lens. You can see it in Buffy and even a little in Firefly too. Even when he writes about other religions and their deities and practices, it still comes back to Christianity.

He wrote Thor and Loki as modern Western Christianity would portray Jesus and the Devil as opposed to how they actually are in mythology or the comics

thefingerfuckingfemalefury

That…is a really good addition as to why Whedon gets Thor and Loki wrong and why Taika did a far better job with their characters/personalities in Ragnarok

socialistguineapigs

Also fuck Joss Whedon

From my favorite movie review of all time, re: Age of Ultron:

“ The way Whedon sprinkles would-be intellectual references — “Peace in our time”; “Upon this rock I will build my church”; a nod to Nietzsche — without pursuing any of them suggests not a guy who reads, but a guy who watches “Jeopardy!” -Kyle Smith, The New York Post

I have thought of this as the best description of Joss Whedon’s misogynistic idiot ass for a few years now.

Friendly reminder that this is my main blog and I really don’t use it anymore so if you’re looking for witch stuff go follow me here

a-fucking-velociraptor

original post [x]

this is the happiest day of my life

keranos-god-of-storm-crows

Too soon

saheeli-rais-wife

65 million years…

Don’t worry, guys. Carl is clearly a brachiosaurus, which lived during the Jurassic period. (And before anyone says our lil’ boy Steve is a velociraptor and therefore puts our comic in the late cretaceous, aka the time of the comet–that lil guy could easily be a compsognathus or a caudipteryx, both Jurassic-era species of small theropod dinosaurs. So the light getting bigger every night is going to pass by harmlessly, and Steve and Carl can go on enjoying the stars together until they die of old age, since Carl has very few natural predators at his size and I bet he’ll protect Steve, if he needs it (though small, fast and carnivorous as Steve is, he probably won’t).

So it’s all good!!

gardenofroseandthorn

That entire response explaining how these two characters didn’t die a fiery death but instead lived long and happy lives literally made my day.

witchymashedpotatoes

me: *looks up how to be mysterious*

Me: -offers protips-

When waiting in public, read something with a serene look on your face.

If possible, make the book something esoteric or philosophical.

Always have ready a sly smile and a raised eyebrow.

Practice giving people a knowing look when they give you odd ones.

Failing that, a smile and a dead-eyed stare work pretty well too.

Grin conspiratorially at small children who peek at you.

Wear black if you like, but whatever you wear, make it a statement.

Maintain confident posture, even when relaxed.

Walk in like you own the place but aren’t making a big deal of it

Walk out like you’re coming off a stage.

Whistle nonsense tunes at birds.

Pat trees affectionately and smile at them.

Go to movies and cafes by yourself. Make no excuse.

Be polite to people but offer no personal details in conversation.

Always Keep People Guessing.

Have fun! :)

cinexphile-deactivated20190801

Wonder Woman (2017) by Doaly

Hogwarts houses as floral crests

summer fruits in magick

✧ watermelon: powerful healing, helping spirits move on

✧ peach: happiness, wisdom, intellect

✧ strawberries: love, romance, favourable circumstance, luck

✧ pineapple: healing, protection, financial fortune

✧ mango: romance, protection

✧ cherries: love and divination

✧ passionfruit: peace, harmony, love

✧ blackberries: sex magick

✧ plum: sex magick, protection

✧ apricot: attraction

Cafe in Berlin

littlestpersimmon

starlight

My settlements are my only lovers

http://www.instagram.com/earsofa/

the-peoples-of-middle-earth

“You fool. No man can kill me.”

How many times am I allowed to reblog this before it gets weird?

Fun facts: Tolkien constructed this scene because he came out of Macbeth thinking that Shakespeare had missed a golden opportunity with the ”Be bloody, bold, and resolute; laugh to scorn the power of man, for none of woman born shall harm Macbeth” prophecy

Being letdown by Macbeth is apparently a significant factor in Tolkien’s writing because the Ent/Huorn attack on Isengard was the result of his disappointment that the whole “til Birnam Wood come to Dunsinane” thing was just some dudes holding sticks and not actual ambulatory trees.

so he basically took his favorite shakespeare headcanons and put them into his AU fic

poutineisdelicious

This revelation just knocked me over.

LET ME TELL YOU A THING ABOUT JOHN RONALD REUEL TOLKIEN. BACK THE FUCK UP SIT THE FUCK DOWN YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ANYTHING YOU’RE FUCKING JON SNOW HERE. LET ME TELL U A THING

JONNY T WAS LITERALLY THE BIGGEST FANBOY TO EVER WALK THE EARTH. LITERALLY THIS FUCKIN NERD WENT INTO WORLD WAR ONE AND WROTE NORSEFIC EDDA FANFIC IN THE TRENCHES AND SENT IT TO ALL HIS FRIENDS WHO WERE PRESUMABLY LIKE “JOHN WHAT THE FUCK”

BUT IT DOESN’T END THERE

HIS WIFE? MADE HER AND HIMSELF INTO SELF-INSERT OCS IN SAID FIC. ALSO MADE HIMSELF A TOTAL TYR SELF INSERT CHARACTER. ALL VERY DRAMATIC. KEPT WRITING THIS FIC UNTIL IT WAS HUGE. AFTER HE DIED HIS SON PUBLISHED IT AND CALLED IT THE SILMARILLION. JRR YOU FUCKIN NERD

WAIT I’M NOT FUCKING DONE YET. TREEBEARD? BASED THE WAY HE TALKED OF HIS OLD FRIEND JACK WHO YOU ALL MIGHT KNOW AS CS LEWIS. THAT’S RIGHT. THAT NARNIA MOTHERFUCKER. WROTE HIM INTO LORD OF THE RINGS AKA THE SEQUEL TO THE SEQUEL OF HIS ORIGINAL FANFIC MASTERPIECE. CS LEWIS FUCKING HATED LORD OF THE RINGS. TOLKIEN FUCKING HATED NARNIA. BASICALLY THEY STARTED THE OXFORD PROFESSOR LIVEJOURNAL CLUB AND THEY FLAMED EACH OTHER’S SHIT RELENTLESSLY YET REMAINED BFFS

SHELOB? FUCKING TARANTULA BIT J-TIDDY ON THE FOOT WHEN HE WAS LIKE 3. WROTE IT INTO LORD OF THE RINGS.

HIS AUNT’S HOUSE? NAMED BAG END. YEAH YOU GUESSED IT WROTE IT INTO LORD OF THE RINGS

THIS FUCKING DORKUS SUPREME MADE UP HIS OWN LANGUAGE. WAIT NO IM WRONG. HE MADE UP LIKE 80 LANGUAGES AND DIALECTS AND ALPHABETS AND SHIT

BEST PART OF ALL?? HIS OWN LAST NAME, TOLKIEN, WAS DERIVED FROM THE GERMAN “TOLKHUN” MEANING “FOOLHARDY”. DOES THAT RING A BELL TO ANYONE FAMILIAR TO LORD OF THE RINGS??? BECAUSE YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT PEREGRIN “PIPPIN” TOOK’S LIKE FUCKING CATCHPHRASE WAS “FOOL OF A TOOK”. TOLKIEN FIC’D HIS OWN FAMILIAL LINGUISTIC HISTORY INTO HIS WORK WHAT A DWEEB

IN 2008 HE RANKED 6TH ON A LIST OF THE TOP 50 BRITISH WRITERS SINCE 1945. HE WAS A PROFESSOR OF LANGUAGES AND OTHER IMPORTANT STUFFY SHIT AT OXFORD

AND JRR TOLKIEN WAS THE BIGGEST DWEEB EVER TO LIVE

THE END

#somebody fuckin censored this post like a weirdo so i had to go back a bit to find an uncensored version????? #what a fuckin weirdo????????#worth it #lotr #jrrt

WHO THE FUCK CENSORED MY GLORIOUS FUCKING RANT ON TOLKIEN

DO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THERE’S A VERSION FLOATING AROUND WITHOUT ALL MY SWEARS

UNBELIEVABLE

THIS IS THE WORK OF MORGOTH I TELL YOU

Amazing women of Marvel poster by Arne Ratermanis (https://twitter.com/ratscape/status/976900853578719232?s=21)

help! who is to the left above black widow in the red and grey? I can’t think of who she is 😫

#BEST SIBLINGS!

Ah yes, the three genders: Girl, Boy, and Mischief

i can’t believe that photo of hemsworth hiddleston and taika waititi all taking a nap together that’s so cursed and blessed at the same time

i’m the fact that the person taking the photo had to use a panoramic shot to get all of tom in the photo

the FACT that mark ruffalo is the one who took this and then posted it on facebooks like the nerdy dad he is

I just noticed Taika Waititi is snuggling Chris Hemsworth’s legs. This is the most precious image in existence.

This is what non-toxic masculinity looks like.

This is the world warriormale wants, and I’m A-OK with that. Fight when needed, but never fear the embrace of your brother.

when your friend friggin’ slays on the her universe runway <3 @adriuh you are amazing girl!

edited to add that adria designed and sewed this dress herself!! you can vote for her here: http://heruniverse.com/fashionshow/voting/

only 8k more to go to get this girl to 100k WE CAN DO IT TUMBLR

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