Hogwarts Universe Queerness

[fanonical]

i hope lee jordan carried on potterwatch after the war

like, just reporting on the incredibly mundane things that harry is doing, interspersed with bad puns

[wheeloffortune-design]

ok but harry secretly loves it? in the middle of all that media attention and ridiculous claims by Rita Skeeter and everyone else, there’s a radio show that concentrates on headlines like “POTTER CAUGHT WEARING MISMATCHED SOCKS!” instead of pairing him up with every girl he talks to. For years he only agrees to give interviews to Potterwatch, and they’re all on silly subjects. “Ginny made me degnome the garden, but I’m rather bad at it, so I have to pay my kids in chocolate frogs to do it, they just augmented their prices…”  Sometimes when he gets bored he calls Lee: “Hey, I got an exclusive for you, I just learned how to change a diaper one-handed!” and somehow Potterwatch becomes a parenting show?

[argumate]

Wingardium Leviosa Potter, you were named so that every time a teacher yells at you they’re going to make stuff fly around the room. Your mother wanted to call you Fred, but I thought this would be more true to his memory.

[fierceawakening]

okay this one is legit hilarious

[lilyprongspotter]

Oliver Wood was probably more excited than anyone else when the news came out that Ginny Weasley and Harry Potter were expecting a baby because DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH QUIDDITCH TALENT THAT CHILD HAS IN ITS GENES

[gifsboom]

[cydone]

@mirry

[confusedgal-deactivated20170310]

so I know they have already started filming episode 8 but I still have some plot ideas I think will be Very useful. in my personal opinion episode 8 should be:

• 2 hours of Finn trying to learn droidspeak

• Just Hux sitting in a chair and petting a cat slowly the super villain way. Just that. The whole movie.

• Rey watering plants for two hours. Give the girl some Rest

• 2 hours of Poe dancing to single ladies with BB- 8 rolling in the background

• 2 hours of Kylo Ren having a long and sincere conversation with Darth Vader’s mask about the weather

• Nothing but Leia screaming at Kylo, Molly Weasly style (give me that. please)

• Rey and Finn walking down a very long road holding hands for two hours (and a lil kissing let’s be real)

• Finn and Poe walking down a very long road holding hands for two hours (and a lil kissing let’s be real)

• 2 hours of Rey and Luke sitting on rocks talking about piloting and using the force to bring them chips

• The whole movie is just Phasma polishing her armour while singing loudly along to Mr. Brightside

• Han’s ghost giving us an incredibly detailed tour of the Millennium Falcon

• we stare at someone covered with a white sheet the enire movie. at the very end, the sheet is removed and reveals that no other than jAR JAR BINKS was under it the whole time

[gnvrlyblvck]

I’m just going to leave this right here.  

[societyofbadgers]

Pottermore Survey

I have recently been puzzled by the Pottermore sorting quiz. From simply looking across Tumblr, I have found out that a lot of my fellow Hufflepuffs, including me, have been placed into Gryffindor on Pottermore.

This has led me to wonder about the Pottermore sorting process, and my Ravenclaw side has kicked in curiosity. I want to find out how accurately the Pottermore quiz sorts people.

So, I am asking everyone to please REBLOG and state the house they identify with and what Pottermore placed them as. You can use the tags to say it if you want, but make sure you do BOTH parts of the question. And be specific- tagging #hufflepuff and #gryffindor does nothing for me.

Example: #i am a hufflepuff #pottermore put me in gryffindor

If I get enough responses, I’ll give you all a detailed analysis with pretty graphs. :)

[xeylah]

Umbridge: Boys and girls are not permitted to be within 8 inches of each other Dean: lol Seamus: lol

[peppermint7rose]

[audkoch-deactivated20190602]

ron, harry & hermione!

i like to imagine that after the war ends & everything gets cleaned up, the three of them get a flat together while they recuperate & try to figure out where to go from there.  and they all have a tough time of it at first, but eventually they create someplace all of them can call home.

[loquaciousliterature]

Wotcher, Harry!

[thingsabouthufflepuffs]

things about Hufflepuffs #482

Hufflepuff is the only house that the house elves give food to outside of the great hall. Just magically while studying or in between classes or before bed if they missed dinner. Plates of sandwiches and mugs of hot chocolate and warm apple cider appear on the tables in the common room and nightstands in dormitories.

[despicablewench]

do u ever just think about the fact that molly weasley saw HARRY POTTER, the boy who defeated voldemort, and went “i’m gonna knit this kid a christmas sweater”

[goblinfish-deactivated20250327]

what i love thinking about is in the book ron says he told his mum that harry wasn’t expecting any christmas presents and that’s why she sent him them and knowing ron can be a bit scatty/oblivious he probably didn’t mention it til like two days before christmas so i just like to think of molly sitting up all night knitting harry his sweater and baking him homemade fudge or whatever because she’d be damned if she’d let harry go present-less at christmas

[wheeloffortune-design]

Or maybe Harry is just as dismissive. Like, Ron is dreaming aloud of him mom’s homemade fudge and asks Harry what he wants and Harry shrugs “the Dursley never give me anything, last year I got a half-used eraser” and Ron is like 0_0  because what, no one is going to give a gift to his new best friend? So he takes poor Errol telling Percy it’s an emergency and Percy’s like no! and Ron’s like HARRY NEVER GETS CHRISTMAS GIFTS YOU GIT and Percy’s like Oh. Ok. Write mom. And Ron’s letter is mainly MOM HARRY NEVER GETS CHRISTMAS GIFTS FROM HIS MUGGLES WHAT DO I DO and then it’s December 23 at night and Arthur is ready to go to bed and sees his wife get the yarn and the knitting needles out again and Honey I thought you were done? Did we get another child while I was at work? YES, she answers, furious. Ron’s new friend, little Harry. If I get this done by tomorrow morning I can make a batch of fudge and send Errol back with it. And that’s when Arthur Weasley realized they did get another kid when he wasn’t looking but, honestly, once you went past the five kids mark you stopped counting.

[nudityandnerdery]

“ Did we get another child while I was at work?” “YES”

[fanonical]

tbh people mock harry for going back to rescue fleurs sister in the second triwizard task but harry knows dumbledore better than anyone else. he probably looked at the situation and thought “would dumbledore let an eight year old drown just because fleur couldnt do this bit? yes. yes he would.”

[blueroses96]

it’s also possible he was acting off of the lessons he learned in the abusive dursley household. that’s why he does a lot of his so-called “hero complex” shit. he takes a lot of personal responsibility for other people bc he learned growing up that “no one’s here for you, no one will help you, you will not catch any breaks”. he helps bc if he didn’t, who would? certainly not the dursleys, and that’s what he grew up with.

he does things by himself and the two people he actually trusts, bc he’s learned that authority figures are no help and will only make things worse. he takes situations at face value bc he’s never seen other options in his life, he’s never HAD other options in his life. speaking very personally, that was a serious marker of abuse that i saw in myself - i never thought abt escape, or what i could do to improve my situation, bc i didn’t even see that as an option. the options were survive or don’t, deal w it or don’t, acclimate or implode.

maybe he wasn’t thinking abt what DUMBLEDORE would do, what anyone at hogwarts would do. maybe he was acting off what he knew the dursleys (his main authority figures) would do. the dursleys would let the girl drown. and harry was there, and harry could do something, and so harry did. he took personal responsibility for fleur’s sister’s safety bc all his life he’s learned that authority figures cannot be trusted to do so.

people characterize these aspects of harry as a “hero complex” or a “stupid nobility” or a “lack of common sense”, but i don’t agree with that. i can’t put my finger on exactly what it is. it’s not completely unhealthy; it’s even very useful and responsible on occasion.

[periegesisvoid-deactivated]

it’s called “complex ptsd” and if you get out of the abusive situation before you’re old enough to understand how fucked up it was, like Harry did, you don’t end up with the classic flashbacks so much, just atypical behavior patterns and a high risk of other shit. That’s why Harry is so fucked up by everything that Umbridge does, it’s because he’s being retraumatized in his safe space.

[fanonical]

why did molly weasley have kids named bill, charlie, percy, fred, george and ronald and then call her last one ginevra

[somethingsuitablywittyandmorbid]

They’re all derivatives of the Knights of the round table. Ginevra comes from Guinevere.

[deadcatwithaflamethrower]

*bangs head against tabletop for not ever realizing this*

Reasons why I should not be an English Major, here they all are.

[oracleanne]

THINGS I DIDNT REALIZE UNTIL NOW. I AM A BAD FAN.

[gallifreyfieldsforever]

I sincerely believe that by 7th year Ravenclaws would just tell the door to their common room to fuck off and it would open for them

[kyrael]

Q “Why is a raven like a writing desk?”  A “You shouldn’t shove either up your arse.”  “…Technically, yes.”

[mrsmarymorstan]

Imagine it, a poor First Year is waiting outside the common room, they can’t answer the riddle in a way to appease the eagle and must wait until someone else to answer it for them. It’s getting late, they’re starting to resign themselves to having to spend the night here. 

Suddenly, their saviour comes! It’s a seventh year! Back from a night finishing off their Araithmancy essay in the Library. They look angry, but our poor little first year squares their shoulders, waiting to see what will happen, and hope that they’ll keep the door open for them. 

The Seventh Year bangs the handle against the wall, and a slightly disgruntled voice asks the question again: “What is the truth?”

The Student Replies, “The Truth is that I am so fucking sick of all these mother fucking questions about stupid fucking topics like this you bloody fuck-witted bastard. Who in the name of Merlin’s saggy left testicle gives a fucking damn about all this shit anyway? I’ve been working my arse off in the library for the last seven hours now let me the fuck in or, truthfully, I’ll blast my way in and take you with me.”

The eagle knocker tutts, but allows the student entry anyway, and our little first year enters, eyes wide and in shock. They watch the seventh year go up to their bedroom, awe all over their face at their new hero. They did, indeed, learn something that day by waiting for someone to arrive, they learnt that swearing has a magic all of it’s fucking own, and that sometimes it is big and clever to use it. 

[aphoenixinwriting-deactivated20]

The only head canon I will ever accept. Its both perfectly witty and fantastically assholish

[avocadamnit-deactivated20161008]

witty and fantastically assholish… pretty much quintessential ravenclaw traits right there

[filthyprotozoan]

i always forget that vampires do exist in the harry potter universe and its like?? voldemort i thought u wanted to be immortal why fuck with horcruxes u couldve just been a vampire??

[filthyprotozoan]

my theory is that voldemort just really really likes garlic