I don't know why people are acting like Susie and Ralsei ruined Kris's "big chance" with Pink, because if you choose "Gotta win" after they tell Pink they were just flirting to win the battle they literally turn to the camera and peace sign
As a Greek, I HATE when we try to explain how inaccurate Nolan's Odyssey is, the Americans always go "it's just fiction, get over it, lol". Like. Dude. Yes, the story of Odysseus may be fictional, but the world it took place into wasn't. The Odyssey is called a historical fiction for a REASON. It's so many people's culture and that fucker Americanizes the Tartarus out of it and then proceeds to parade it as "the most accurate Odyssey movie". You don't even need to be an expert in Greek mythology to know that their armor and ships aren't period accurate. Horrendous cast aside, I don't need to go and watch it to know how awful it will be.
maybe im too attached to the iliad/odyssey. but it baffles me how people just say 'well its just a story.'
of course, its just a story.
its just a story until its the bible. its just a story until its the quran.
its just a story because you never read the story.
its just a story until it doesnt align with YOUR views.
its just a story until someone uses it for money.
its just a story until it offends you.
jesus turned wine to water, thats just a story. muhammad won the battle of badr, thats just a story. moses talked to god and helped jews migrate, thats just a story. oh youre offended?
but piss your pants over this 'story' because god forbid you dont jerk off and cum to helen being anything but blond haired and blue eyed and nothing but a fetish. god forbid theres color and culture. because god forbid a transgender man play a character most transgender people see themselves in. and god forbid its anything other than your alpha male youtube shorts worthy movie. god forbid.
but glaze hollywood, go on. glaze them for unethical work. glaze them for showing the OLDEST VERSION of the odyssey, that belongs in a museum, glaze them for how they pollute water and land, glaze them for breaking laws, glaze him for talking about and defending the dumbest choices he makes but ignores the hate thrown towards the cast. go on.
Remember when Xbox was going to basically ban used games for the xbox one, and Playstation made fun of them with that video titled "how to share games on Playstation" and it was just one guy handing another a game disk? And now Playstation is getting rid of physical disks entirely
The First, Best, Worst, and Last Choice You Ever Made.
There are thousands, if not millions, of magical children. All over the world, trying to make changes in the world, for better or for worse. However, many are only barely able to make a dent. With their only contribution being turning into witches.
This is the story of one of those magical children.
This is the story
Of Burning Spice Cookie
âYoâŠ. BurâŠ. Kieâ
ââŠâŠâŠ.masâŠ.spiâŠ.cooâŠâ
âYoung master Burning Spice Cookie.â
The 15-year oldâs eyelids fluttered opened. He rubbed his eyes, and sat up. Beside him was a Turmeric Pig Butler. The same Turmeric Pig Butler that came to wake him up every single day. âGood Morning, Young Master Burning Spice Cookie. It took a good while to wake you up. You were completely dead to the world."
Burning Spice didn't say anything. He just braced himself for the all-too familiar lecture as he was taken by the hand towards the dining room for breakfast. "It's a good thing I woke you up when you did. It's unbecoming of a man of the Spice family to sleep in. What if I wasn't able to wake you up in time? You need to.."
The black haired boy had already checked out. He had heard this exact lecture enough times before, he had it memorized by now. '..."become a man who can uphold the ideals of the Spice Family. Just like your father, Crimson Spice Cookie. What would he think if you were late for school? He would be absolutely furious with you.'" Burning Spice finished internally. If he hadn't known these servants his whole life, he'd think they were robots.
After breakfast, Burning Spice was dragged back to his room. He braced himself for his least favorite part of the day: Being dressed.
Maids and Butlers sat Burning Spice down in front of his vanity. Burning Spice watched as he was done up like a doll. His messy hair was slicked back and tied back into a refined ponytail. He was buttoned into his tight school uniform, as if he wasn't capable of putting it on himself. The boy watched as he was carved carved and chiseled and chipped off, like an antique being refurbished and painted white.
The ride to school was a blur. The chauffer's voice washed over Burning Spice. Burning Spice Cookie stared at his reflection in the window. He caressed his cheek. Whenever he looked at himself, all dolled up like this, it always felt wrong. Like a rubber mask that had attached to itself to his skin that he couldn't take off. He had been carved into this statue of a stranger since every day since before he was even a year old. He didn't even know what the untouched rock would look like.
What would being "Burning Spice Cookie" even mean?
Soon enough, the black haired boy was ushered out of the car. Burning Spice sighed and stepped onto the grounds of the private academy.
Burning Spice's feet automatically but hesitantly walked towards the school. He knew he was a student here. He knew this was his school. He was wearing the uniform. He had no reason to always be this unsure of himself. But even though he'd been going here for about a decade now, he always felt like an intruder. Like he had gotten lost and wandered to the wrong school, or he was a transfer from a different less "sophisticated" school, like Scovillia.
A squealing voice cut through the boy's thoughts, along with the click clack of mary janes against the brick path.
"Ohhhhhhhhh Sssssssspicyyyyyyyyy"
Burning spice cringed, bracing himself for his second least favorite part of the day.
Cilantro Cobra zipped up to him, hugging his arm in an affectionate manner. "Good Morning Ssssssspicyyy~" She cooed. Burning Spice didn't bother to to pry her off. "Morning, Cilantro Cobra Cookie." He said apathetically. Cilantro Cobra's brow furrowed, she put her hands on her hips. "Now isssss that any way to greet your sssssssoooouuulmate?" Burning Spice sighed again. "For the millionth time. We are not soulmates, we are not a couple, we are not even dating. Your parents and my parents set us up to get married. At best, it's a glorified company merger." Cilantro Cobra huffed. "Well, how isssssss our relationship ssssssupposed to lassssst if we don't at leassssssssst try to make it work? Why can't you at leassssssst do the bare minimum?"
'Because I don't like you, and I'm pretty sure you don't like me either.' Burning Spice wanted to say. But he bit his tongue. He knew saying that would only make Cilantro Cobra furious with him. He learned that the hard way when he was six. There was no way Cilantro Cobra wanted this either. Despite knowing each other for 10 years, she and Burning Spice were still acquaintances at best. There was no way she was genuinely in love with him. Even if she was, it was most likely because she found him attractive, or how she would be able to live in the lap of luxury if she maintained the relationship. Hell, even the bragging rights of "I'm dating a congressman's son!" had to at least be a bonus.
Not even "I'm dating Burning Spice Cookie!" just "I'm dating Crimson Spice Cookie's son!"
Cilantro Cobra smirked "I know what would get you in a romantic mood." She cooed. 'Don't say "The rose garden in the school courtyard" again. Please, at least take me somewhere different. Just not that stupid rose garden. I can't even look at roses anymore' Burning Spice thought.
"The rosssssse garden in the sssssschool courtyard!" Cilantro Cobra said. "What could be more romantic than two fiancessss sitting in a rosssssseee garden?" She took him by the hand, dragging him to the courtyard. "Come on! There'ssssss sssstill ssssssssome time before classsssss ssssstartsssss!"
Burning Spice Cookie didn't say anything. He just let himself be led... again.
The rest of the day, Burning Spice was on complete autopilot. He marched down his set path, like a car on a dark ride track. He ate the same food. He made the same expressions. He said the same things with the same cadence. He talked to the same people. He walked into the same rooms.
For a split moment, while Cilantro Cobra was talking with her friends. Burning Spice glanced at an empty classroom, the door had been left slightly ajar.
It wasn't anything particularly special. It was just a lab for a science class that the upperclassmen took. In a few years, it would become a part of his track, just one of many sources of his never-ending ennui. But... what if he could divert a little? Just step off the track, for only a minute. What if he could go there... now?
With all of his courage, Burning Spice loosened his fingers off of Cilantro's hand one by one. Just this one thing. Just this one room. Just this one choice. That's all he was asking for. His pinky hung on Cilantro Cobra's pinky. 'Just one more' He thought. He fearfully let go of Cilantro Cobra's hand. 'I did it' He thought to himself. All he had to do now was walk to the classroom. Just a few steps, and a push, and he would be in a room he'd have never been in before. He would have finally done something different. He would have finally made a choice for himself. He would have finally changed something in his routine.
So why wasn't he moving?
Isn't this what he wanted?
Every cell of his body screamed to move. To do SOMETHING! but he couldn't. The black-haired boy was petrified. 'Move. Move, dammit!' he internally yelled at himself.
He took a small, shaky step towards the room. He was doing it. He was doing something different! He was changing something! He was-
"Well. It'ssssss been great talking to you guysssssss! Sssssseeee you later!" Cilantro Cobra's hand clamped onto Burning Spice's hand like a bear-trap. "Let'sssssss go Ssssssspicy!" Burning Spice was dragged away. Away from the tiny divergence that would have meant everything to him.
Just like that, Burning Spice was back on track. Being led like a dog on a leash.
Because Burning Spice Cookie couldn't be Burning Spice cookie, even for a moment.
Right now, he had to "Cilantro Cookie's boyfriend."
That night Burning Spice lied awake in bed. Hugging his pillow. He kept thinking about the empty classroom. The one he never went in. A slight divergence off the track, and he let it slip away.
"Why?" He asked himself. "Why couldn't I just walk there?"
He turned over, feeling his long, messy hair against his silk pajamas. "Is this it?" Burning Spice asked himself. "Am I just... going to be led everyone else around me... forever?"
In a desperate move to prove his own autonomy, Burning Spice stood up and sat down at his vanity. He ran his fingers through his meticulously cared for hair. It was too soft, too silky, there wasn't even a single stray hair or tangle to be found. He might as well have been wearing a wig.
His parents, Crimson and Scarlet Spice, had already roadmapped everything for him. Everything was planned down to the latest detail, to the point of ridiculousness. What he wore, who he could talk to, what he ate, where he went to school, his career, who he would marry, how many heirs he would have and when he would have them.. Crimson Spice had set the boy's future as a politician in stone. While Scarlet Spice had carved out a place just for her son in high society, and she would jam him into that mold, no matter how much he refused to fit.
"Crimson Spice's son" "Cilantro Cobra's future husband." "Scarlet Spice's heir" "The Cobra family's future in-law." "The father of the next child in the Spice bloodline."
He would never just be "Burning Spice Cookie."
Burning Spice teared up. He could already hear his mother and father chiding him with the same thing they had been saying to him since he was 5. 'You're acting like a child. Stop crying' But he couldn't help it. He placed his head in his hands, trying to stay quiet.
An unfamiliar voice cut through the noise. âBurning Spice Cookie.â
Burning spice didnât recognize the voice. But he immediately wiped his eyes anyway. He couldnât let anyone see him like this. He stood up and automatically walked towards the door. The strange voice called out to him âTurn around.â The boy obeyed, and was taken aback by what he saw sitting in his windowsill.
It was a white, cat-like creature. With long strands of, presumably, fur, coming out of its ears. It had a big, fluffy, pillow-like tail that swished side to side. The most stand out feature, was the oddityâs piercing, unblinking, pink eyes. His body moved on it's own. Not out of obligation to stay on a set track, but out of fascination. "Are you... talking to me?" He asked. The creature nodded. "Yes. I was. My name is Kyubey. I have a proposition for you.â It stated. âWhat is it?â Burning Spice asked.
âI can grant you any wish. In exchange, you will become a magical boy and fight witches who spread curses in this world.â It stated.
Burning Spice was taken aback. Magical Boy? Witches? That didnât make any sense! But⊠Neither did a talking⊠whatever this âKyubeyâ creature was. A cautious, fragile hope awoke within the black-haired boy. "Can I really wish for anything?" he asked.
Kyubey nodded. "Yes."
A fire lit within Burning Spice Cookie. He knew exactly what he wanted to wish for.
"I want to destroy everything that trapped me." Burning Spice Cookie said. "My house, the future my parents' trapped me in, school. I want the courage and power to burn it. all. DOWN!"
A red light began to glow in Burning Spice's chest, the light enveloped him. When he opened his eyes, he looked down at himself. He looked at the mirror, and was in awe at what he saw.
His messy hair flowed freely. A triangular gem was placed in his chest. The only thing covering his top was a long red vest that trailed behind him like a cape. His skin had suddenly spawned tattoos that reminded him of war paint. He wore orange pants and a red cloth belt that felt easy to move in, and sandals. Gold pauldrons laid on his shoulders, but they didn't feel heavy at all. A red, antenna like thing emerged from his forehead.
Burning Spice caressed his cheek in awe. For the first time in his life... he didn't see a stranger looking back at him. 'This is it! This is me!' he thought.
He looked at his hands, as if on instinct, he flexed. In his hands, a large battle axe appeared. A rush of excitement flooded the boy, he'd never been allowed to hold something so sharp before, let alone an axe. He lifted the axe above his head, and brought it down to his dresser.
SMASH!
The dresser exploded into a million pieces. It was gone. Because of HIM! "That... felt... wonderful..." He instinctively flexed one of his hands, a flame lit inside his palm, but it didn't hurt at all. "Woah..." He raised his fist into the air and smashed it into the floor.
CRASH!
A roaring flame spread through his room, the wooden floor gave out under him. He landed into the room below, watching the fire roar. "Ahahahahaha..." He swung his axe at whatever he could find, smashing everything in sight. He spread fire throughout his house, letting the flames consume everything it touched. "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Burning Spice went from room to room, smashing and burning everything in sight. His entire future, his so-called "home", it would become nothing but a crater, because it was HIS choice. "I'M FREE!" He shouted victoriously "FREEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
The boy jumped out of the window, glass flew everywhere. He didn't look back at the burning ruins of his house. He was deep in the adrenaline rush. He landed and kept running. Kyubey ran alongside Burning Spice Cookie, blankly staring back at the teenager. "Well, have you completed what you wanted to do? Are you going to hunt down a witch now? You can use your magic to chase it if you-"
"Nope!" Burning Spice interrupted. "I'm going to go destroy that stupid school next!" He laughed as he saw the school building appeared in his field of view. He brandished his axe, ready to watch it burn by his hand. "You shouldn't waste your magic so carelessly like that." Kyubey stated. "Your soul gem will-"
Before Kyubey could continue, Burning Spice launched himself into the air, leaving a crater where he stood. "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOO!" He closed is fist and engulfed it in flames. He landed right in front of the school, leaving a large, charred crater.
Burning Spice zipped from room to room, smashing and burning everything in his wake. He laughed excitedly, freely dancing throughout the destruction he left. Kyubey kept appearing, trying to talk to the boy. "You have too-" SMASH!
"A witch may-" CRASH!
"I request that you stop and listen to-" BOOM!
Kyubey was blasted back into the wall from the force of the explosion. If it could emote, it would be incredibly irritated. Burning Spice laughed and headed straight for his next site of destruction. "I'M GONNA BURN DOWN THE ROSE GARDEN!"
Kyubey quickly followed Burning Spice. He watched the magical boy run in circles, dragging his hand across the grass, making rings of cinders like gunpowder. He snapped his fingers like a match, and he touched the cinders, lighting them.
Fire sprouted from the ground, Burning Spice jumped as high as he could into the air. Watching the courtyard erupt like a volcano. "YES YEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHES!" He landed himself into a nearby hallway, leaving a crater in the floor. He panted heavily, propping himself up and using his axe like a walking stick. He smashed a hole into the wall, and sat down. The magical boy sighed contentedly, he sat down, watching the flames rage.
Despite how hot it was, for some reason...
He felt cold.
Kyubey walked up to Burning Spice, sitting right down beside him. "Are you satisfied, Burning Spice Cookie?" Kyubey asked. Burning Spice nodded lazily. "Yes... for now." He looked up to the smoke billowing into the night sky. "Tonight... my house and... this school. Tomorrow... this whole... stupid... town..." He panted.
Kyubey scratched the back of his ear fluff with his back paw candidly. "Well, then I suppose you won't entirely dislike what's about to happen next." Burning Spice raised an eyebrow "What's... that supposed to mean?" He asked. Kyubey pointed his paw to Burning Spice's chest. "Look at your soul gem." Burning Spice looked down at the gem in his chest, which now looked almost completely black. He tapped it curiously "You mean this?" He asked. "What about it."
"Since you're going to become one soon anyway, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to tell you." It said. "Be-Become what?" Burning Spice asked.
"The reason you have to fight witches-" Kyubey explained. "Is because when you use your magic, your soul gem becomes clouded. To undo this, you must kill witches and harvest their grief seeds. These grief seeds can be used to purify your soul gem."
Burning Spice looked down at the blackened jewel in his chest "What happens when it gets dark like this?" He asked worriedly.
Without missing a beat, Kyubey delivered the answer. With all the casualness of discussing a business meeting.
"Then you will become a witch. A mindless monster that only exists to destroy and spread curses. You will also be hunted down by magical girls, until one defeats you, and uses your grief seed to purify their own soul gem."
The destructive high left Burning Spice immediately. The ability to carve his own path had finally been given to him, and now it was going to be stolen back in the same night. "N-n-no! You're lying! I just became a magical boy!"
Kyubey shook his head, as if he were disappointed. "It's your own fault for wasting your magic. You could have easily avoided this if you stopped and listened to me."
Burning spice keeled over, clutching his chest. It felt as if his very soul was aching. "K-kyubey! Please... help! I don't want to... become... a witch." He shakily grabbed the creature's paw. "Please" The boy pleaded. "Do something!"
Kyubey shook his head again. "There's nothing I can do. Even if, by some miracle, a grief seed were to magically appear in front of you, you'd become a witch before you could remove the impurities." He stared back at the trembling boy "You've made your choice. Now, you will endure the consequences."
Kyubey turned around and walked away. Burning Spice, trough tears, weakly reached his hand out to the creature. "Kyubey... wait..."
"Goodbye, Burning Spice Cookie." The white creature stated. "It's a shame we couldn't work with you longer. But at least you had the decency to become a witch instead of getting your soul gem destroyed. It would have been such a waste, otherwise."
The complete apathy stung Burning Spice's heart. He clutched his chest, it felt like he was being stabbed by an invisible blade. "Nnngh... it... hurts..."
suddenly, the pain spread through his entire body, and something black shot up from his soul gem.
Golden Cheese Cookie wandered throughout the unfamiliar, fancy town. She didn't usually venture this far out for witches before, but prey had been getting scarce lately. She held out her golden soul gem, "Come onnnnnnnn." She groaned. "I've been looking foreverrrrrrrr."
She was practically going in circles now. She sighed. "Maybe I should just cut my losses and go home." Just as she was about to turn around and turn her soul gem back into a ring and head for the nearest bus stop, her soul gem started glowing, much to the blonde's pleasant shock. "Did a witch just hatch? Right now?" She smiled and transformed. "Must be my lucky night!"
She jumped up to the top of the building, using her wing-like cape to give her a boost. She jumped from roof to roof, brandishing her spear.
A burning school started to appear in her field of vision. 'Did it do all this in such a short time?' she wondered. 'Good thing I came in time. Or else this whole city would be up in flames in a matter of days.'
The blonde entered the barrier. The world around her turned into a surreal, abstract academy. Flames roared and died out and sprouted back up again in seconds, but Golden Cheese didn't feel hot.
In fact, the labyrinth was actually quite cold.
The walls were decorated with paintings of people who's faces were messily scratched out, and in place of what looked like a child, was a blank mannequin. She wandered through out the overly decorated halls. Now that she got a good look, it looked less like a school and more like an interactive museum exhibit of a school, an unchanging facsimile that merely served as a window to a time long forgotten, not to actually be used. The floors didn't even look like regular tile, but rather, tracks for an amusement part dark ride.
Golden Cheese walked around cautiously, but also somewhat impatiently. 'Where is that witch anyway?' She wondered. 'I feel like I'm going in circles again.'
Golden cheese heard something approaching on the tracks. she leaped out of the way. Carriage like creature rushed by. Instead of wheels, it had what looked like human feet, Axes flailed around it like loose limbs. The carriage was carrying centipede egg decorated with lace, held in a gold carrying case. Something was shaking around inside it, as if trying to get out, but Golden Cheese couldnât quite tell what was in there egg though.
âThat must be the Witch!â She thought. Golden cheese jumped onto the carriage as soon as it passed by again. Debris flew into her face, courtesy of the witchâs rampage. She stabbed the feet that served as the carriages wheels, trying to slow it down.
The carriage didnât stop. Feet-like familiars crawled out of the ground, skittering like centipedes. They attached themselves to the carriage, and speeding along the track. âWait, are these just the familiars?â The blonde poked the replacement foot with her spear. She looked over at the rattling centipede egg âIs the real witch in there?â
Golden cheese climbed onto the egg, grabbing ahold of it. She raised her spear. âhisn alta'aluq!â
She summoned 3 golden spears and shot them out to the end of the hallway, A wall decorated with gold erupted from the ground. Golden cheese jumped off. The carriage crashed, and the familiars writhed in pain before disappearing.
âNowâs my chance!â Golden cheese ran towards the lacy centipede egg. She grabbed hold of it and lept into the air. Her cape spread out, flapping like a birdâs wings.
Now high in the air, she flew downwards into the ground, slamming the the egg into the ground with a spinning piledriver.
CRASH!
The centipede didnt crack, rather, it shattered like glass. The shards flew everywhere. Golden cheese instinctively shielded herself from the flying debris.
Golden Cheese Cookie cautiously unshielded herself. âDid⊠did I kill it?â She opened her eyes. She heard something scuttle around. She approached the shattered egg and looked down.
On the floor, was a centipede. Sure, it was rather big for a centipede. It was only about the size of a wiener dog. However, compared to the witches she commonly fought, that it only kind of grossed her out.
The centipede blindly skittered around on the floor. It nibbled bits and pieces of the tile, and grabbed pieces of the floor with its mouth, slamming them down onto the ground. its clouded eyes lit up with delight whenever it broke something. The centipede was so caught up in its rush of its newfound freedom from the egg, that it didnât even notice Golden cheese.
The magical girl giggled âYouâre actually kind of cute, in a way.â She walked over to the now vulnerable witch. âSorry little guy, Iâll make this quick.â Golden Cheese pinned the centipede to the ground with her foot. The blind bug squeaked angrily and its antenna wildly flailed around, trying to seek out the what pinned it down.
Golden cheese plunged her spear through the witchâs head. It screeched and pathetically flopped onto the floor, then dissipated.
The labyrinth disappeared. Golden Cheese Cookie picked up the grief seed. She walked away, casually tossing and catching it in her hand. âIâm NEVER going this far out to hunt witches again, but at least I got something out of it.â She pocketed the grief seed. She didn't want to waste any magic on flying back, so she headed towards a bus stop. Her thoughts idly wandered as she walked.
"I wonder if there are any magical boys or girls who live here?" She wondered. She brushed the thought off as quickly as it came. "Eh, if there were any magical kids here, they definitely would have tried to shoo me off by now."
