an ocean full of stars

Sonny, 29, he/him. Believe in the me that believes in you!

[hustlerose]

[hustlerose]

[hustlerose]

i have been informed by literally every french speaker on earth that “une pipe” is slang for blowjob

[hidefdoritos]

engaging in a high risk behavior (lying back down after my alarm already went off)

[cheaphalloweencostume]

chatgpt didn’t invent the emdash and they can’t fucking have it. it’s mine.

[imissthembutitwasntadisaster]

"the world isn't kind" ok??? Much more importantly are you?????

[whatsupwalnut]

"the world isnt kind" skill issue. I am

[inkieswirlsgaming]

This is a threat

[dunmeshistash]

Izutsumi is aroace, you agree with me, happy pride.

[patrickbatemanamericanpsycho]

When the group chat arguing and bro starts messaging you privately

[therantygeek]

Leverage: A Short Summary

[lordmogatron]

May I?

[gnar-slabdash]

YOU MAY

[beatrice-of-the-stars]

This shit reads like a tumblr post

[vermilionstarlight]

the beach that. makes you dead

[tastylemonbread]

[lamignonette]

[innerchildabortionclinic]

⚠️sweetiepie located

[hussyknee]

The most basic, intractable fact about mental illnesses is that you simply cannot willpower your way out of them. The only exceptions to this rule are the ones I have, which continue to disable me due to lack of determination and other grave personal flaws

[contemptible-scoundrel]

Ccan i hit?

I would parry every blow?

[smoothjazzdigit]

Have you guys seen that clip

Go off Kermit

[juliathefacesofevil]

we're just normal men

[oddjoblin]

Why the heck is this dude trying to confirm if the frog puppet is hetrosexual???

[karnalesbian]

assessing the situation before he shoots his shot

[defilerwyrm]

Happy Pride to Kermit the Frog, questioning king

[thatdisasterauthor]

Listening to the local fire department radios as they rescue a cat in a sewer. Here's how it's going:

FD: We can see the cat. Do you have an ETA on animal control?

Dispatch: Twenty minutes.

FD: Alright, we think we can get the cat.

Dispatch: Copy, we'll let animal control know.

FD several minutes later: We've got the cat.

Dispatch: Copy, do you still want--

FD, interrupting: Update, the cat DOES NOT like us.

Dispatch: ...so you do still want animal control, then?"

FD: Yes. Tell them the cat is in the engine.

Dispatch: ...are you also in the engine?

FD: Not anymore, no.

[asmuchasidliketo]

[marisatomay]

Sometimes in a professional setting you’ll come across someone in their 60s who just cannot open a PDF in their email. And the thing is. They’re lowkey not old enough to be acting like that. You guys were in your early 30s at the latest when email took off. You’ve actually been doing this for longer than I have. Get real and click on the damn attachment.

[marisatomay]

Guy who’s the same age as the Ferris Bueller who hacked into his school’s systems doesn’t know how to open Outlook and wants me to do it for him brother you must be shitting me

[thebaconsandwichofregret]

I actually said this to a client who was trying to pull the "Oh well I'm 65 you know" card on me a few months ago and he got so embarrassed when I pointed it out.

He has magically learnt how to log into his account and pay for shit on his own though, so it was worth the risk.

[tahthetrickster]

working with folks my mother’s age who have been at this job longer than i’ve been alive but they got new computers this week and have flagged me over for help a dozen times in two days because suddenly they don’t know how to save or rename files and like…

i like helping people with computer problems. i really do. i enjoy being helpful and i enjoy helping people overcome their nervousness around computers and getting them more comfortable and confident in their use.

however.

the problem here seems to be that these folks have spent thirty five years in this role and have done their entire computer-based jobs by rote instead of learning what the buttons on your programs do. and i simply do not know how to help fix that level of incuriosity

[trying-trying2lyk]

i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny

[justatiredlittlesnail]

[gaybichon]

not even funny how true this is for me

[ranni-thewitch]

divert all power to the funk engine