queer and tired

I'm Milan I'm no longer 19 and I need a new joke for my bio || art: @majiniesthings

[redstonedust]

slowly becoming the designated DIY guy of my household not because of any skill or training but because im the only person with the hubris to say 'fuck it hand me a drill how hard can it be." highly reccomend it because it gives a butch thrill that cannot be matched. i understand why suburban dads are like this now. im unstoppable.

[asterkid-deactivated20150106]

tomorrow……… is august„„„„,?????

its augu…….st?? tomorrW???????????

8th monTH???????? 4 ,more mont hs of 2013?????????????

what??????????????????????????????………………………..

[redstonedust]

guy who is stuck in a timeloop but is too socially anxious to bring it up to anybody or change their routine just in case it turns out they're mistaken. like yeah you're pretty sure that it's been november 3rd for two weeks now but idk maybe that's the depression talking. it's fine.

[lesbinewren]

we need to make using chatgpt embarrassing bc sorry it really is. what do you mean you can’t write an email

[lesbinewren]

“ikr i only use it for-“ whatever you use chatgpt for is also embarrassing. you do not need the plagiarism machine that lies and evaporates water for anything actually

[vividciggy]

Their beef will never not be funny to me

(Based on this meme of course)

[kirbybaker-the-alch]

I think all computers should have cd slots and all phones should have headphone ports send tumble

[bluehairedspidey]

[piecewise]

[uncomfortablecliche]

ai spreading deadly misinformation again, to clarify, gold star bisexual means you fuck one man and one woman and then die

[finally-figured-it-out]

There was a young man from Peru

Whose limericks stopped at line two

[finally-figured-it-out]

There once was a man from Verdun

[genteelblackhole42]

There once was a man from the sticks Whose limericks stopped at line six. They were fine till line five Then they took quite a dive — But the problem is easy to fix If you just ignore the last line, it doesn't even follow the rhyme scheme oh god I've really lost control of this thing I'm so sorry...

[shredsandpatches]

There once was a man

From Cork who got limericks

And haiku confused.

[ruckuscauser]

There once was a man from the sticks

Who liked to compose limericks

But he failed at the sport

Because he wrote them too short

[rat-girl-big-tits]

@limerickshere

[fremedon]

There once was a fellow named Dan, Whose poetry never would scan. When told this was so, He replied, "Yes, I know-- It's because I try to squeeze as many syllables into the last line as I possibly can."

[paulgadzikowski]

On Tumblr did lasses and lads Their way with fail poetry had. You're having your fun But you're fooling no one - It takes skill to do something this bad.

[lunetta-suzie-jewel]

my name is cow

and when i see

this tumblr post

it gives me glee

i think real hard

for words to pick

so i can fail

at limerick

[mrvelocipede]

There once was a [person] from [place],

Whose [body part] was [special case].

When [event] would occur,

It would cause [him or her]

To violate [law of time/space].

[kiragecko]

Ways to Improve Online (White-People) Recipes

If it asks for garlic, add that much ginger, and twice that much garlic.

If it asks for cinnamon, add 1 1/2 times as much cinnamon, and a small amount of nutmeg. If the MAIN flavour is cinnamon, also add a small amount of cloves and allspice.

If it asks for vanilla, also add a SMALL amount of almond extract. (Usually up to a few drops.)

If it asks for onions, also add some garlic, but add it 1 minute before you're either done cooking, or you add liquid

If the spices are pretty much only oregano or parsley, add both, as well as a small to medium amount of basil, thyme, summer savory, tarragon, and/or marjoram (the earlier two are great in beef, chicken and tomato dishes, while the others are good with pork, chicken, most vegetables, and pretty much anything else you can think of with a 'lighter' flavour)

if it asks for cheddar or mozzarella cheese, also add a bit of feta and parmesan

Don't be afraid of flavour!

[ibenology]

phan is real, destiel is canon, johnlock are parents, the doctor is gay and mcr are back. you have reached the end point of tumblr thank you for participating and good night

[mysharona1987]

[greyhina]

Same energy as that time in college I told a girl that “the tarot” says she needs to go call her mom and start going to therapy and she fucking did.

[tiruvenkadu]

absolutely a granny weatherwax moment. “you need to move the outhouse because its presence is bothering the forest spirits and they’re cursing you” because trying to explain about bacteria from the outhouse contaminating the well wasn’t working.

[alexaloraetheris]

Sometimes you gotta ask yourself ‘Do I want to be right or do I want results?’ and then act accordingly.

[citrinepalace]

three for the gleam of a jewel or a smile

behold, the horrible twins! i finished nona the ninth and boy, what a ride

[youre-only-gay-once]

"you can use ai to improve spelling and grammar"

[purgaytorysupremacy]

if you’re wondering why spellcheck and grammar check is worse now, it’s because they replaced it with AI! 🥰

now, instead of maintaining a comprehensive, nuanced, and human-maintained encyclopedia by which to check your document, they have switched to an AI that just compares what you’ve written to what other people write in, say, Google Docs, and use the most commonly used iteration.

ever have it change something like “all intents and purposes” to “all intensive purposes” or “should’ve” to “should of”? that’s why!

people make the same spelling and grammar mistakes so often, AI thinks that’s the way you say it because it is a PATTERN DETECTOR and cannot THINK let alone use language.

[youre-only-gay-once]

"you can use ai to improve spelling and grammar"

[radio-galaxy]

fuck you *webtoon-ifies your griddlehark*

here’s a comic i’ve been working on off-and-on for a couple months. it was a lot of fun getting to try out a scrolling format for a comic! if you actually scrolled and read this far, high five and thanks <3

[indigokra]

one flesh, one end. ☠️

[the-boring-distopia]

There is something so profound about how necro cav relationships are meant to make the necromancer stronger and lead to the cavalier's inevitable demise upon reaching lyctorhood, but every lyctor we ever meet regards the loss of their cavaliers with maddened despair and it inevitably leads to every betrayal against god. The thorn in the side of John's empire is that he can't take loved away and all of his creatures will turn on him for making them try.

Ianthe is the only exception but only because she never truly had a cavalier. She has a sister and she will rather starve herself into an undying death until the sun burn out than eat her sister. The greatest necromancer from the house of gold and greed refuses to do that.

I am not even going to try unravelling the Sixth, that's THE can of worms to ever worm of cans. They saw the stages of grief and said "no, we're going heresy any lysis instead".

[a-helix]

death first to vultures and scavengers