Zee's World

At The End Of The Day , Lifes A Lesson

[make-a-difference101]

I'll never understand how the universe could bring us together and then take us apart so soon. No boy could ever have my heart the way you do hahah I miss you @annie.fbaby I carry your heart with me i carry it in my heart, i am never without it anywhere i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done by only me is your doing,my darling. i fear no fate for you are my fate,my sweet ,i want no world for beautiful you are my world,my true and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide) and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart i carry your heart, I carry it in my heart

[make-a-difference101]

I wish I could cry in someone's arms and tell them all about my sadness but I'm just not wired that way..

Xia

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my soul craves family but i know better than to break my own heart.

xia 

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HIM

i think i love him but i can never admit it. ever. 

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Nobody breaks my heart the way my parents do.

[make-a-difference101]

You know . I don't want love cuz he broke my heart and after that it's never the same Ever. Sometimes I feel like I can't breathe because im not with you anymore And it hurts I forgot thikes C. The times i was with you. I forget and it hurts A lot because I don't want to forget You made me happy and now you make me sad and I dunno Why did you have to go I don't get it She tries to laugh and keep a smile but she tries to stop the tears But it's hard Because she only sees your face Everywhere And every song reminds her of you And she wonders why did you have to leave But stil She smiles Because she doesn't want anyone to see how much she hurts Evacuate (because) its invalid Because you don't love her So what's the point But she hides it well Very well Like she never even thinks of it Like it never even cross her mind But it does Always.

found this on my notepad after a wild night......

[make-a-difference101]

Im sad because i miss him so much today...and yesturday and probably everyday day after tomorrow

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i miss your body smell so much. i miss putting my head in between your chest and just smelling you.  it will never be the same with anyone else. ever.  why did you have to leave...?

[make-a-difference101]

Before I would stare at the buildings around me and feel Inlove with life , tonight as we drove past all these buildings I stare at them with a different feeling. Not only do I feel Inlove with life , but I feel Inlove with you and the feelings you make me feel. I can't help but smile because this is a different feelings and I think I'll always remember it because you chose to see rainbows when all I seen was rain and for that, I am grateful.

Xia Isaacs

[make-a-difference101]

And she wonders why she can't get close to anyone, why she can't trust that anyone will stay because she knows full well people leave. People always leave & it started with her own parents. & she remembers it like it was yesterday. So when she doesn't want to get close to you, and when it seems like she doesn't care or it seems like she doesn't want a relationship with you, remember. She was taught to keep her distance because She remembers it and stil feels it like it were yesterday.

Xia

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Today I give away the dessert cups I bought that we were supposed to use for our wedding. I've held onto it for almost a year. Progress. I hate dessert cups.

Xia

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People think I'm sad and heartbroken, no.. I am angry , I am infuriated at the fact that Our family tore us apart. It boils my blood to know that he listened to them, that he didn't even put up a fight. I am angry that he let something this magical go just because his family said so. I am hurt that when they told him to cut contact with me, he listened. Without giving me any sort of warning he just stopped replying to my texts, stopped picking up my calls. After 5 years, just Within a day he walked out of my life without any warning at all. I am not heartbroken nor am I sad .. I am angry. I am so angry I feel like I might have alittle bit of hate inside this heart of mine. It was so easy for them to tell him to cut ties with me, it was so easy to tell him to just forget and move on. And he made it look so easy too...

[make-a-difference101]

Can I please just fast forward to the day where I have my own little apartment with loads of plants hanging around and shelves of different spices and tea leaves for my morning tea in my cute little kitchen and a few cats sleeping on the couch waiting for me to get home to with my laptop open waiting for me to book my plane ticket for a holiday in Venice. Please.

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I don't want another relationship, I don't want to get married again either. I don't want love and I don't want affection. I want a best friend who lay In bed with me and talk for hours without expecting any form of intimacy. Someone I can travel the world with and laugh about life with. I don't want to kiss, and I don't want cuddle and I don't want you to hold me or lay on me or ask me to run my fingers through your hair - maybe we can hold hands but that's about it. I just want long car drives and eating pizza on the beach. I want us to maybe get a few cats and dogs, maybe have some fun in the kitchen and eat the same thing for breakfast lunch and supper.

Xia

[make-a-difference101]

He didnt listen when i said no, instead he tried to kiss me again. He didnt listen when i said no, instead he laughed and pushed my head down. He didnt listen when i said no, instead he flipped me around and held me down. He didnt listen when i said no and now i'm left with this memory forever.

me

[make-a-difference101]

Little do you know How I'm breaking while you fall asleep Little do you know I'm still haunted by the memories Little do you know I'm trying to pick myself up piece by piece Little do you know I need a little more time Underneath it all I'm held captive by the hole inside I've been holding back for the fear that you might change your mind I'm ready to forgive you but forgetting is a harder fight Little do you know I need a little more time I'll wait, I'll wait I love you like you've never felt the pain, I'll wait I promise you don't have to be afraid, I'll wait The love is here and here to stay So lay your head on me little do you know I know you're hurting while I'm sound asleep Little do you know All my mistakes are slowly drowning me Little do you know I'm trying to make it better piece by piece

little do you know.

[make-a-difference101]

I'm just tired and emotionally numb So if you tell me you don't want to be friends anymore - I'll just shrug my shoulders and say "OKAY" even though I want to fight it and tell you to stay. I can't get myself to tell anyone to stay in my life because way back when I cried my heart out and begged my husband, someone I was totally Inlove withto stay with me , he left anyway. I got up off my knees , dusted myself off, wiped my tears and said never again. Never again will I be pushed to my knees and ask someone to stay..

Xia Isaacs