Faith is to be awake

@makeitbad-smythe-blog

And to be awake is for us to think, and for us to think is to be alive; ♠ Jude Smythe ♠ Jude Smythe, at your service. My face is aired on national television once a week. It's pretty interesting, if that's a thing you're into. I'm the oldest of a couple face-stealers, a boyfriend, good at cards, and have probably had sex with you or someone you know, and I'm not sorry about it. Also, no fuckin' Beatles puns. You're not original. You're not funny. Stop. Not part of balboatripletsrp.

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PHONE CALL ☎ JUDIE

Jamie: I'm gonna let you go so you can drive, alright? Just let yourself in.

Jude: Okay, cutie. I love you.

#phone #phone: Jamie #c: Jamie

PHONE CALL ☎ JUDIE

Jamie: Jude I need you. [he said softly, his chest heaving with sobs.] I need you pl-please come over? Or I can come over? I just. I'm so tired of being alone.

Jude: [was on his feet instantly, wiping at the tears on his face.] I'm. I'm on my way. [he said, grabbing a shirt, shoving his feet into shoes that he didn't bother tying as he nabbed his keys from his bedside table, rushing down the stairs.

#phone #phone: Jamie #c: Jamie

PHONE CALL ☎ JUDIE

Jamie: [sniffled, hiccuping embarrassingly loud.] I was hoping y-you didn't, [he told him honestly, his tears hot and plentiful on his cheeks.] Jude, I love you. I was scared you weren't going to call.

Jude: 'm always gonna call. [Jude said softly, almost weakly.] I love you. I'm sorry. I--I'm so sorry.

#phone #phone: jamie #c: jamie

PHONE CALL ☎ JUDIE

Jamie: [immediately felt tears spring to his eyes as he listened to Jude, his heart being put together little by little.] You're not fucked up just because you made a mistake, you're not awful. I love you. The thought of living without you makes me want to die. [He clutched his chest, squeezing his eyes shut.] So you didn't lie. About us.

Jude: [sniffled faintly, his hands shaking with the effort of holding back the onslaught of tears that wanted to come.] I--I didn't lie. [Was all he could manage to say, so, so close to breaking down.]

#phone #phone: Jamie #c: Jamie

PHONE CALL ☎ JUDIE

Jamie: [exhaled quietly, relief coursing through him.] I'm glad, [he said, biting his nails and staring at a random crack in the wall.] I don't want you to think I was trying to be harsh, I just...I care about your future. I'm sorry if I came off pushy.

Jude: [closed his eyes tightly.] Don't. Don't apologize, okay? [he managed, clearing his throat uncomfortably.] Jay, I. I'm so. I'm so fucking sorry. [And there it was. The connection was made, and word vomit was spewing.] I'm fucked up. I'm awful and I didn't--I didn't mean to hurt you. I love you so fucking much and I am so, so fucking sorry for how I acted. When I think--When I think, think about where I am in five years, I don't have any idea, but I--I know that you're there, I know that when I picture it I'm by your side because I could never belong anywhere else. That's what I see. That's what I imagine.

#phone #phone: jamie #c: Jamie

PHONE CALL ☎ JUDIE

Jamie: [was writing, as he'd been for the past few days. He'd been unwilling to focus on anything else since the fight. It was the biggest, ugliest fight they'd ever had, and Jamie wanted to die. The only way he could stop himself from being stupid was sleeping next to Blaine and writing until sunrise most nights. He heard his phone chime - Jude's ringtone. He stopped breathing for a minute, he wondered if he should even answer, but of course, he did.] ...Hey you. [he said as casually as he could muster.]

Jude: I'm going to class monday. [Jude said first, his voice a little strained. He didn't know what he was doing, why he hadn't led with an apology, why he wasn't groveling for forgiveness, but this is all his brain and mouth would connect together to say.]

#phone #phone: Jamie #c: Jamie

PHONE CALL ☎ JUDIE

Jude: [took a deep, shuddering breath and stared at the phone in his hand. It was Saturday now. Three days since the fight, since the breakdown, since the last time he had seen or heard from Jamie. Sebastian had attempted to talk to him about it--more like yell--but Jude had slammed his bedroom door in his brother's face before he could get more than a couple words out. Slowly, he opened up his contacts, scrolling through to Cutie, and hit the call icon, flopping back on his bed and hoping and praying that the other would pick up.]

#phone #phone: Jamie #c: Jamie

balboajay

DON’T STOP DOING WHAT YOU’RE DOING || JUDIE

TAGGING → JAMIE ANDERSON & JUDE SMYTHE LOCATION → Anderson House TIME FRAME → 3/25/16 NOTES → six months together i’m not crying tehre’s A BRANCH IN MY EYE.

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#para #para: dsdwyd #para: jamie

balboajay

DON’T YOU LET IT GO || JUDIE

TAGGING → JAMIE ANDERSON & JUDE SMYTHE LOCATION → Anderson House TIME FRAME → 3/8/16 NOTES → Jamie has a bad day and Jude is happy to fulfill his boyfriendly duties.

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#para #para: dylig #para: Jamie

TEXT 📲 JUDIE

Jamie: No, no. If anything it just makes me think like...you knew all about it and you stayed anyway.

Jamie: Please do.

Jude: Of course I stayed, Cutie. I'm always gonna stay.

Jude: On my way.

#text #text: Jamie #c: Jamie

TEXT 📲 JUDIE

Jamie: Oh...so...you've known all this time.

Jamie: Holy crap.

Jamie: To be with you?

Jude: That doesn't upset you or anything does it? I guess I should have told you, but I didn't want to make a big deal out of it, especially if you hadn't told me yourself.

Jude: I can arrange that. Want me to come over?

#text #text: Jamie #c: Jamie