Am I beautiful? Am I useable?

I just got diagnosed with BPD and everything makes sense in the most terrifying possible way. Vent blog, but reblogs will happen. It's also OK to reblog anything unless tagged otherwise. Contents may be triggering, please let me know if you'd like anything tagged.

[makingsenseofbpd-blog]

also idk how i got so many followers suddenly thank you i love you all already

if you’re a bpd blog and want me to follow back please like this <3

[makingsenseofbpd-blog]

hey i’m sorry i’m alive i just have been posting on my other blog because Attention™

anyway i still hate everything and i wish i could just be normal and want to fucking die what is this disorder even FOR the person i love doesn’t care that i’m sick so what good is it

[makingsenseofbpd-blog]

I hope I will actually wake up this time because these housing people might get really mad but the meds are kicking in and they make me sleep so deeply

I really want to dream about him I miss him so much

[makingsenseofbpd-blog]

[makingsenseofbpd-blog]

He's wonderful and good and I love him so much

[makingsenseofbpd-blog]

I don't know how I'll get through that conversation without screaming that you drove half an hour to see her and wouldn't even text me. That I had to sit alone in hospital. That I have to ask why my life means so much less than hers. I only know partial answers to those questions, and they're logical, but they're not enough. I don't want to scream or be hysterical. I don't know how I'll do it.

[makingsenseofbpd-blog]

time for another round of "am i dying or is this psychosomatic"

[my-bpd-blog]

raise ur hand if u think ur mental illness will keep you from getting ur dream job, finding a partner, and/or functioning like A NORMAL FUCKING HUMAN BEING FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE

[bipolar-in-boots-deactivated201]

sometimes I want to kms out of anger?? sometimes I want to kms out of depression?? sometimes I want to kms out of spite?? and sometimes I want to kms because I dropped a spoon on the floor??

[serotnin]

me: ah, I’m just being paranoid…………………. (squints) or is it my intuition

[whospilledthebongwater]

!!!!!!!!!

[makingsenseofbpd-blog]

i should be dead, oh God, i should really be dead

[makingsenseofbpd-blog]

oh yeah i fucking chose this. i made my own life traumatic enough that i developed a personality disorder that causes me to try to kill myself. yeah. i did that. have you told her that she had a heart attack because she smoked? just wondering fuck you i love you so much why won't you care fuck you i LOVE you

[makingsenseofbpd-blog]

Had a dream I went for a drink and a meal with my ex. Just as very awkward, very cold "friends". Horrid.

[iero-slut-blog]

The worst part about being borderline is feeling like nobody cares if they don’t care about you the most

[makingsenseofbpd-blog]

loving you exhausts me, i hope it kills me

[sumflora]

me: types out a post

me, deleting it: God jsut shut the fuck

[makingsenseofbpd-blog]

I love him I love him I love him I love him I love him I hate this