blog about my bpd

i'm self dx bpd, but that doesnt mean i'm any lesser

[oaluz]

pdf from here

[anarchapella]

Please fucking lie to your employer. Like they don’t need to know your mental health issues or what drugs you do. Ffs

[thecolorsfucked]

its not lying if its to employers or cops

and look up ur rights on what they can and cannot ask u many places ban asking about ur record and transportation status and things like that resources will also tell u how they reword sketchy questions so ur prepared

[mixingpumpkins]

Hey. Take it from a former HR person… this goes double right now. I just spent some time putting in some job applications myself (not for HR, lol) and got about 15 interviews. And idk if it’s because of COVID uncertainty or if places just don’t fucking care anymore because they know people are desperate for work, but the amount of straight up illegal shit my interviewers asked me was appalling. (That’s not even counting the questions that were technically legal but clearly fishing for information they’re not legally allowed to ask.)

A tame example? Two questions into a phone interview, the guy on the other end of the line asked: “How old are you?” I said “Excuse me?” - giving him a chance to rethink that. He didn’t. “How old are you?” “Sir, you are not allowed to ask me that question.” “Well, I want to know. I’m asking.” “And you’re legally not allowed to ask me that. I’m not required to tell you my age.” At that point, I guess he managed to remember an old HR bulletin or something (I hope to god he wasn’t actually HR himself), and he said, “Well, I need to know if you’re over the age of 18.” (Which is what he should have asked in the first place… or not, since that was in the application that he could have read.) “Yes. I’m over the age of 18.”  And we moved on. Two questions later, he tried another illegal question. I called him on it again and ended the interview, citing that a workplace with such a clear disregard for the law, especially upon first contact with a potential employee, was not going to be a good fit. (They offered me the job anyway, lol. I didn’t send a thank-you or a response.)

At a different interview, the majority of questions were “fishing” questions - just looking for that info they’re not actually allowed to ask. (This person was also either not really HR or an HR person who was exceptionally bad at their job.)

I could tell they were getting frustrated when I dodged answering the personal stuff, and they actually got extremely upset when I mentioned later in the interview (re: less relevant work experience) I had worked in HR. They were super flustered for the remainder of our time, and I watched them skip over questions on their sheet they had clearly planned on asking. They KNEW they were being sketchy and were counting on me not knowing anything about HR - or my rights - and so they got upset when I did. These were super tame examples. I’m begging you, if you’re job searching right now, PLEASE know your rights. Please know what interviewers are allowed to ask. Please don’t volunteer information or elaborate more than you’re required to about personal things. Save your words (and everyone’s time) by elaborating why you’re good for the position/what you can do. I may create a resource list on this shit later but PLEASE PLEASE KNOW THIS STUFF BEFORE YOU TALK TO AN EMPLOYER. This goes for anywhere you’re interviewing as well as your current employer. This also goes for HR. HR may be the person you go to when shitty stuff happens, but that doesn’t mean they’re your friend (or competent). They don’t need to know your age (beyond 16+, 18+, or 21+, depending on the job). They don’t need to know your medical history. (For the love of god, do NOT answer the “have you been diagnosed with depression?” question.) They don’t need to know if you have kids or whatever. They don’t need to know a LOT of those things that may appear on an application, including your veteran status, whether you’re on/have been on unemployment, etc. They’re not entitled to know specifics about your transportation (unless you’re using that transportation for the job, like Uber/delivery drivers). Look this up for your state/the job’s state. Beware questions like “What year did you graduate?” if you’re like me and don’t put dates on your resume (I just put amount of time spent at employers, not dates of employment). They’re fishing for your age. It’s “Oh, you know, 100 years ago,” if you feel comfortable making a joke, or “About [generic number, like 5 or 10] years ago” if not. Also beware things like the “What do you do in your free time?” question, even if you already work there. This is not a friendly getting-to-know-you question. This is a basis for judgement. Not up to an invisible standard? They’re going to be biased against you for pay raises, promotions, etc. Mention kids/lots of family/social engagements? That’s a tick against you for not being the kind of person who lives to work (yes, it’s gross and stupid). Mention lots of solitary things? Cool, that’s their mental note to ask more from you because you’re “not doing anything anyway.” By all means, be friendly with your coworkers/talk about shared interests if you want, but it is none of your boss’s business, and be aware what could get back to them.  Don’t. Tell. Employers. Shit.

[balkansoul-deactivated20220924]

i have seen some international outrage since the entire situation in myanmar happened but the “hype” has been slowly dying down on social media so i just want to remind you all that this is still happening. it’s been over two full months already since the burmese military seized power and put its citizens under a pure reign of terror. 

legitimate state councillor  daw aung san suu kyi and the president of myanmar u win myint have both been detained since the first of february, along with a dozen other government officials, and they’re currently held at unknown locations. hundreds of people, including children, have been killed by the military so far during civil disobedience movement protests all around the country. on march 26th more than 150 people have been killed by the military in a single day, the youngest victim being a 7 year old boy, who was shot in the stomach. 

from what i know from my friends the wifi and data networks work on and off, they have gone days without internet at some point bc the military tries to control all forms of communication among the masses. 

whoever is found to participate in the civil disobedience movement receives no pay and is practically jobless. moreover i’ve been told that people have been shot and killed even when they’re not protesting. both of the pictures below have been from 28th of march and the shooting happened in the town of bago, at the south of the country. it seems that they are targeting people at random. 

ASEAN has been pretty useless so far and the opinions of the neighboring countries are split. thai, vietnamese, khmer and the government of the philippines have refrained from commenting or criticizing the coup. moreover thai border military has been returning people seeking refuge in thailand for days now. 

the UN has “condemned” junta’s use of violence against peaceful protestors but nothing useful has happened or changed since. people of myanmar are left to fend for for themselves.

the military blocked the country from receiving international bank transactions or any kind of help. so, there currently arent many links to reach the protestors directly but there are a few credible organizations that are trying their best to help the people of myanmar. 

i’ve been told that these are the only three links that are legit and have means to actually help the protestors:  https://charity.gofundme.com/o/en/campaign/crph  https://www.protectmyanmar.org/ https://www.mutualaidmyanmar.org/

if you have the means to donate please consider doing so via these three pages 

[fdsfjdsfjkf93723679267-deactiva]

hell to it, here’s some quick advice from me (someone who hurt a lot of people with his untreated BPD, and has since gotten help and has reached a point where his BPD no longer affects his life) to you (someone who has untreated BPD):

do not let your brain normalise the concept of ‘a favourite person’

yes, our disorder will often make us fixate on ONE person in particular, but this is not charming or sweet (in most cases). you cannot put all your emotional needs onto one person. they are a person too, with their own struggles and emotions, and you cannot burden them with yours, too. it is not healthy for either of you.

rigid schedules are unhealthy. but if your disorder compels you, please try your hardest to keep them exclusive to YOU.

you cannot try to control other peoples schedules without being a manipulative, toxic presence in their life. your disorder will desperately try to strictly organise life. you need to try and make sure you’re keeping this to your own tasks, appointments, etc. people cannot centre their lives around you and its unfair to ask them. you cannot get repeatedly upset at people just for living their lives.

in the height of splitting, the last thing you’ll want to do is step back. it’ll feel like dying. but please, you must try. 

in the height of splitting, the act of stepping away will feel impossible, or your brain will literally tell you you will die. sometimes, therapy is the only thing that will help you with this. but if you can, start now. do whatever you can to take a break from the argument, to step away from the person you’re splitting on. even 5 minutes away will make your brain calm down a tiny bit.

acknowledge that life is harder for you, but try anyway. your disorder is not an excuse to hurt the people around you.

living with BPD is hard. our emotions are overwhelming to the point that they drown us. life, for us, is hard. you, surviving BPD, is a grand feat. but this does not give you the right to leave your behaviour unchecked, to harm the people you love, to manipulate them with your emotions in order to satisfy your disorder. its not okay just because you have BPD. you are still obligated to try your hardest to be kind to others, and to leave them happier than you found them. do not subscribe to toxic positivity that tells you you can hurt the people you love because you ‘can’t help it.’ accidents will happen. emotions are unpredictable. but you must never stop trying, and you must always be trying your hardest to be kind, even if that means removing yourself from people and situations at your own detriment. 

there is a life ‘outside’ of being borderline. through hard work, CBT + DBT, therapy, self-reflection and the right medication, i can confidently say my borderline no longer affects my life apart from a few rare flare ups when my general mental health is poor. and i used to be truly terrible. 

work hard. your disorder will not control your life forever. you’ll get there.

[drumcorpshero]

Spoopy Season Safety

[missmentelle]

To everyone who is going out to the protests across the United States, especially in Portland, please remember:

1. Never talk to the cops. It doesn’t matter if you want to explain your side of the story, tell them off, or try to convince them to let you go. Say nothing. It’s almost impossible to talk yourself out of criminal charges. It’s very easy to talk yourself into them. Say. Nothing. 

2. If you are arrested, clearly say the words “I am invoking my right to silence, and I am invoking my right to a lawyer. I will not speak to you without a lawyer present.”. Ambiguous statements like “I think I need a lawyer” or “gimme a lawyer” have historically not held up in court. State very clearly that you are invoking your right to an attorney and will not answer questions without one. This is the only thing you will say, over and over again. 

3. Seriously, don’t talk to the cops. Saying that you are invoking your right to remain silent does not mean the cops have to stop questioning you. If you say that you are remaining silent, it’s up to you to actually remain silent. They will try very hard to get you to talk even after you’ve stated that you will be silent, and if they succeed, your words will be held against you. 

4. Do not lie to the cops. Lying to authorities is a felony. Best way to avoid lying? Say absolutely nothing. 

5. Take the biometric locks off your phone. If your phone can be unlocked with your face or fingerprint, police can force you to unlock your phone for them. If it opens only with a passcode or password, they cannot compel you to unlock the phone without a warrant. 

6. Livestream interactions with the cops, don’t just film with the camera app. Make sure all interactions with the cops are filmed, and make sure that the footage is being sent somewhere where it cannot be deleted or destroyed by police. 

7. Make sure that someone knows you are out protesting, and that this person knows your full legal name, date of birth, and what time to expect you home. If you are arrested, your loved ones will need this information to find you in the system. Don’t assume that your friends know your DOB and full legal name - send a picture of your ID to a trusted person who will not be protesting and let them know to start looking for you if you don’t check in a set time. Some protesters have also begun shouting this information as they are being arrested so other protesters can record it. 

8. Get the information for a pro-bono lawyer in your area and write it on your body. Several lawyers and firms have offered to defend anyone arrested at the protests for free. Write down the information of a free legal service on your body with permanent marker before you go to protest, ideally in a location like your shin or forearm where you won’t sweat it off - keeping the number in your phone is not helpful if your phone is confiscated, dead or damaged. 

9. Stay as safe as you can. Bring water and snacks, wear sunscreen, bring bus fare, wear your mask and take rests in the shade if it gets hot out. Bring a portable charger or backup battery if you have one, and make sure your phone is charged so you can film interactions with the police. Look out for your fellow protesters, and let other protesters know right away if you are injured or in need of assistance. Do whatever you can to make it back home safe.  Black Lives Matter.

[black-kpop-fans]

I thought this was good info. Please stay safe everyone❤

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[carrionthird]

"Stop scrolling and please help me spread the word, because if I've landed on your page you're most likely either a black woman or someone who cares about black women and the simple phrase I'm about to share could help save a black woman's life.

Doctors are to black women what police officers are to black men. That may seem controversial but I believe it to be true and I speak from personal experience.

If you've seen this TikTok you know that a 2016 study showed that 50% of medical students and residents thought that black people couldn't feel pain the same as white people.

And we learned from this video that because of a 1999 study, to this day, there's a black correction factor for the creatinin levels in black people's kidneys, meaning we're less likely to recieve a kidney transplant if needed.

So if you go to a doctor, feel you aren't getting proper treatment or they refuse the treatment you've requested, say to them the following:

I will need you to document on record that you are refusing the treatment (or medicine) I've requested, and the reason you are doing so."

[dovewithscales]

This works. I have used it in other situations. If medical staff have to document and take responsibility and be on the hook legally for doing shady shit they behave much differently.

If you weren’t already going to spread this advice because black women are at risk, then spread it because it’s applicable to everyone else as well, including you reading this.

But particularly women, and especially black women.

[frogitivity]

People talk about needlessly gendered items but one time I got diagnosed with female presenting autism and I’m still losing my mind over it

[criticallyalexandrite]

This is why Autism Speaks studies are invalid. it’s resulted in people thinking that only men can have autism. Thus resulting in stupid terms like female presenting autism.

[veemopusvulgaris]

FEMALE PRESENTING AUTISM???

[800-dick-pics]

I refused to give my adhd evaluator my gender/sex so she logged my traits and answers from the questionaires both for the “male” adhd and “female” adhd traits and the results varied so much that even my evaluator was shocked by it bc it was the first time she had done both “genders” for one person (and i think it opened her eyes on how wrong and inaccurate sexed tests/evals are). my hyperactivity, and impulsivity scored lower (aka downplayed) on the female page but had a HUGEEEEE spike for it on the male page, their were things like my emotional dysregulation that were also“less apparent” on my female results than my male ones. Genuinely ask who ever is evaluating you to remove sex/gender from the evaluation process and if they refuse demand that they test you as a “male” and “female” Lots of us esp black and brown autistics and adhders are getting duped out of a proper diagnosis bc white perisex cishet people are seen as the “standard” for literally everything in the medical field 

[primarining]

hey everyone it’s quarantine e-begging time! i have rent but i need about 80 dollars for other small bills that i frankly forgot about. that’s really it. might just keep the post open for anyone that feels like being extra generous cause i am unemployed.

$30/$80

paypal.me/primarining

please reblog dont just like

[justsomeantifas]

TOMORROW TUESDAY, MARCH 10 the following primaries will takes place:

Idaho, Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, Washington, North Dakota, and it will be the last day for democrats living abroad to cast their vote.

If you are 17 years old in Idaho, Mississippi, or Washington then you CAN cast a vote tomorrow if you will be 18 by the general election.

[justsomeantifas]

As someone who canvases and has friends who are team captains let me just tell y’all that if you want Bernie Sanders to win you HAVE TO go out and vote in the primary. IDK how many times I hear people talk about how excited they are to vote for Bernie in the general but either don’t know about the primary or think it’ll just all work out and they can vote for him then. 

And I’m just going to tell y’all that the numbers in Mississippi, Missouri, and Washington ARE NOT LOOKING GOOD! 

But guess what? In 2016, Hillary was expected to win Michigan by 30 points and ended up losing to Sanders. It is possible to create major upsets you just have to get out there and VOTE TOMORROW!!

[justsomeantifas]

Lines are going to be ridiculous because they are trying to discourage y’all from voting. Stay in line, bring water and snacks, bring extra ID, and stay ahead of their bullshit! 

[this-isnotmy-cat]

Pass it on.

[catloversplace-blog]

Follow Us For Cats!

[korino21]

Legit I just had this talk with my parents this morning. My day bought an Easter Lilly and I told him to get rid of it

[vederlicht]

Very important!

Also important to note: Daffodils are part of the lily family, so they pose a threat to cats as well. Be aware and keep the purry friends safe. 

[libertarirynn-deactivated202006]

Seriously just a bit of pollen could make your cat sick within a matter of minutes. Stay far away from Easter lilies if you have kitties!

[harryshouse]

so

we have this app called toogoodtogo where restaurants/cafes/bakeries/hotels and so on sell their leftovers for really cheap to reduce foodwaste

i got all of this for €4 from starbucks

bless

[frompawntoqueen]

The America version is called FoodForAll

[somecunttookmyurl]

I love TooGoodToGo all of this sushi cost me £3.50 (the chinese food cost me £3.59)

[korben600]

YOOOOOOO, they’re formalizing this?!?!

I used to do community service at a community breakfast, we’d go to the local Safeway and get all their stale bread, the local bakery for their stale baked goods and whatnot.

They throw away so much food it’s ridiculous, I’m glad someone finally created a program like this!

[askawelfarecaseworker]

The American app isn’t available everywhere but if you’re broke in NY or Boston, check it out!

[tundrakatiebean]

The US app logo currently looks like this and was last updated 3 weeks ago (as of January 25th 2020)

[sissikuk]

TooGoodToGo is available in many European countries, including the UK, much of Scandinavia, Germany, Austria, Switzerland, France, Belgium, the Netherlands, Poland, Italy and the Iberian peninsula. 

[oodlenoodleroodle]

ResQ Club does this too, they started in Finland, not sure what the situation is now, if they are in different countries. Also of you know people in restaurants, ask them if their restaurant does something like this and encourage them to sign up.

https://www.resq-club.com/

[winglssdemon]

As a disabled person aircraft carriers have:

-Thrown out my boarding pass while saying to my mother, “it’s okay she’s in a wheelchair of course someone will just give up their seat for her”

-had staff kneel down to me and talk to me in a baby voice and say, “oh sweetie you didn’t understand me I asked you if you could walk

-been through every thorough pat down known to man

-had my wheelchair banged up to the point I had to by new wheelchair tires

-had staff talk over me and about me as if I wasn’t there

- had staff complain about me while I was being moved in a transfer chair

-was brought to a flight of stairs up to a plane and staff was shocked that I couldn’t board that way

-was sent a bus to pick me up and bring me to the wheelchair accessible boarding spot. They had to send a second bus because the first one they called for was not wheelchair accessible

And NOW, the Department of Transportation is proposing laws for aircraft that would:

- FORCE me (and other SD teams) to get paperwork proven that my highly trained service dog is well behaved and isn’t gonna poo everywhere

-FORCE me (and others) to arrive and HOUR earlier than anyone else on the flight so my service dog can be WATCHED FOR AN HOUR before deciding if we’ll be allowed to board

This is being disguised as a way to control people taking advantage of ESAs and what it is trying to do and what it will do is IMPEDE disabled people. They want to refuse legitimately trained miniature service horses. They want to make ESAs not allowed in aircraft at all. And they want to discriminate against disabled folk even more than they already do. This is not okay.

There is about a month or two left for the public to comment on the DOTs proposal. Please comment and help out our disabled community especially those with animal helpers

https://www.rollcall.com/news/emotional-support-animals-banned-planes-dot

PLEASE SUBMIT YOUR FEEDBACK AT THIS SITE: https://www.transportation.gov/briefing-room/us-department-transportation-seeks-comment-proposed-amendments-regulation-service

WASHINGTON – The U.S. Department of Transportation today announced that it is seeking public comment on proposed amendments to its Air Carri

Emotional support animals could be banned from planes under DOT rule

Proposed rule would let airlines ban most "emotional support" animals in airplane cabins and board only trained service dogs.

[queerdo-mcjewface]

Here is a direct link to leave a comment on this unfair and discriminatory proposal.

[carry-on-my-wayward-butt]

Do you have bpd? My best friend was diagnosed recently (after she tried to overdose on pills right in front of me rip), and we have been trying to figure it out together. I want to be there for her as much as possible but I have ppl telling me that ppl w/bpd are toxic and I should run but she's my best friend and I don't wanna leave her :(

people with BPD can be toxic. people with depression can be toxic. people with celiac disease can be toxic. people with broken arms can be toxic. people can be toxic. a lot of the time in my experience people see the letters BPD and immediately assume that person is sooooo toxic and terribleeee and should be avoided like the plague~ and that outs them to me as someone toxic themselves.

people with BPD are always hurting themselves before they hurt others. hurting themselves more than they hurt others. questioning themselves harder than they question others.

people with BPD have a few hallmarks:

unstable relationships both with others and with oneself, sometimes called splitting. chronic feelings of emptiness that lead into impulsive, self destructive behaviors, including self harm. extreme emotions, felt at twice the speed and half the cooldown, the same emotions that anyone else feels, but louder and harder to control. feeling suspicious of or out of touch with reality, causing dissociation. all of these leading into the most common one, fear of abandonment. because if someone leaves me because of all of that, after telling me for so long that im not fucked up and its okay and it can be fixed, then obviously i deserved it for being fucked up and can never be fixed.

i have BPD, and i’m ridiculously lucky enough to have access to competent treatment. not everyone has this boon.

unfortunately i was much, much fucking worse before this and hurt a shitload of people. i still believe some of them deserved it for one reason or another. and regardless of whether they actually do deserve it, i was still hurting people. sometimes on purpose.

sometimes i lie. for no reason. about shit that doesnt matter. to my therapist. i’ll be telling her what happened today and say that i had a sandwich when i actually had an omlette. i guess because i actually wanted a sandwich. it has taken me an actual year of trying to even notice when i do it, in order to be able to reliably backtrack on lies and say “no i didnt. i lied about that. here is what actually happened.” again, to my own therapist. who doesn’t give a shit what i ate.

it is….. exhausting. it is exhausting just to exist. every time i feel sad, i’m in a tailspin of despair. every time i feel angry, it’s righteous fury. every time i feel happy, im a beacon of joy and hope. every time.

every. time.

thanks to a solid half-decade of self-study and professional treatment, i can identify when it’s happening, and work to curb it into manageable bits that can be dealt with slowly and carefully. but it still happens first. and strongly. and so, so fucking loudly.

i have been a Lot to deal with. my husband only knows how to deal because i took the initiative to teach him, and he took the initiative to listen to how i feel and pay attention when i tell him what i need from him. i’m only able to tell him what i need by knowing what i need, and learning to figure out what i needed took a very long time.

this book was my best friend for 3 years, and it helped me notify my husband when i was about to kill myself. i never got around to buying the Stronger than BPD Journal, but the DBT skills in it are livesavers.

as for you, read up on different ways you can support someone with BPD. and if you’re up for it, do your best to defend us from armchair diagnostics and people who call us shit like “emotional vampires” and “never worth it”. untreated BPD sucks eggs, and you’re never required to stay in a relationship that hurts you.

it sounds like you’re willing to put the work in to support your friend and that’s really good of you. just make sure to take care of yourself too, because compassion fatigue is real and will burn you out so fast. take breaks, communicate honestly and reliably that you’ll be back, and then actually be back. when something hurts you, say so. when something bothers you, say so. clear communication, honesty, and taking care of yourself are the strongest supports you can utilize.

you’re a good egg.

[ex-shark-virtue-005]

I found this on Facebook and it's actually super important:

[justsomeantifas]

"the countdown is on, give us your fucking money"

[penandwind]

Ok, so as someone who knows tech stuff, and a windows 7 user I want to say this to people who might be worried about “support ending” because I’ve met many people who don’t know what that means. If your computer is still running windows 7, it still will with no issues. Support ending means windows will stop releasing updates for minor security features and compatibility patches. Thats it. You computer will function the same as it ever did.

“But if they stop releasing security updates, won’t I get a virus or get hacked?” Short answer: no. Those updates patched small vulnerabilities that actually don’t affect most common users. If you have active antivirus and practice basic computer security habits, you’ll be fine. “So does this mean I never have to upgrade?” Technically no, but its not feasible. Mainly because newer software and updates are now not going to be made to work with 7. So while you don’t have to rush out and buy windows 10 today, long term you’re going to have to “upgrade” if you want to use newer stuff. If you do pretty much the same thing and havnet changed up how you use your comptuer in years, you’ll be fine waiting.

Personally, I love 7. Its UI is great, easy to use but gives me freedom to do a lot more. I HATE how windows 10 has a lot of its functionality stripped out for “ease of access” (aka, designing the system to make it harder for the user to fix it), and forced the god awful Cortana service down our throats (which sells off any data input into it and your computer). I’m going to stick with 7 as long as possible.

So don’t worry about this, you don’t have to change just yet, or really at all. Keep that in mind, and spread the word for anyone who might not know and is concerned.

[justsomeantifas]

That's Cool Death To Microsoft Though

[penandwind]

Oh I agree. I just wanted to let people know they don’t have to shell out the money, because a lot have the wrong idea, and Microsoft isn’t correcting them. Actually purposely misinforming customers to get them to buy and upgrade. I used to watch the Microsoft rep do it all the time when I worked at GeekSquad and it made me sick (especially when I got in trouble for correcting customers). So death to Best Buy too I would like to add.

[justsomeantifas]

Death To Best Buy As Well