So I think I’ve seen people discuss this before–the idea that Viktor is Yuuri’s coach, as well as his boyfriend/fiance/husband/whatever you imagine their relationship becomes post-season 1. I’ve seen a lot of meta about how Yuuri has to disconnect the idea of Viktor-as-Idol from Viktor-as-Person (And I’ve even written some of that meta myself) but I can’t recall seeing a lot of meta about Yuuri having to separate Viktor-as-coach from Viktor-as-lover.
Coaches are in charge of you. There’s a power dynamic there that is hard to ignore, and Yuuri knows that Viktor would never take advantage of it. That’s not what this is about. But there is a somewhat natural human reflex, shall we say, to reacting negatively to someone saying No you’re doing this wrong or You need to do better.
Of course Yuuri understands that this is what a coach does. The only reason Viktor is saying these things is because he wants Yuuri to improve. But it’s difficult all the same.
I think there are a lot of times, especially once Viktor retires for good and becomes Yuuri’s coach, and they’ve been together for awhile and Yuuri doesn’t have the constant swirling thought of He’s leaving soon to occupy his thoughts like he did that first summer in Hasetsu–there are a lot of times when Yuuri has to actually put effort into separating Viktor into two separate people–or at least two separate sets of motivations.
“That was the sloppiest Salchow I’ve ever seen,” Viktor says, and Yuuri has to grit his teeth and nod and do it again, and not react to it like he would if Viktor had just said something like Dinner was horrible because that’s not what’s going on. Viktor isn’t saying these things to hurt him, and moreover Viktor is not talking to him as his husband right now.
Sometimes, after particularly frustrating practice days where nothing seems to be going right and Viktor never seems happy, Yuuri has to hang back and put himself back into a mindset that’s safe for home–one that won’t make him bark at Viktor for putting the forks in the dishwasher the wrong way. Because it’s not the forks–when Yuuri says Why can’t you put the forks in the dishwasher the right way what is actually trying to come out of his mouth is You’re my husband and you keep telling me I’m doing bad and it hurts, and he knows he can’t say that, because Viktor is a good coach. He’s an amazing coach, but he comes from the Yakov Feltsman School of Brutal Honesty.
Yuuri knows that he wouldn’t feel nearly so torn up if it was Yakov telling him these things. But Viktor’s voice is the same one that laughs with him over dinner, and whispers to him in bed, and to hear that voice continually tell him he’s not quite good enough is difficult.
But then he gets home, and Coach Nikiforov has dropped away to be replaced by Vitya, Yuuri’s husband, who smiles at him when he walks in the door and says, “Welcome home, Kitten,” and Yuuri can’t help but melt into him.
“I think practice went really well today,” Viktor tells him over dinner. “Your Lutz is looking good. It’ll be an amazing program by the time we leave for Skate America.”
“You think so?” Yuuri murmurs, and what he wants to say is then why didn’t you say that at the rink, but he knows. He knows why.
And Viktor, his husband, looks up at him and beams and says, “Darling, you know I always think you’re amazing.”
And maybe, eventually, Viktor rolls over in bed and puts a hand on his hip and murmurs, “You know that everything I say in practice is meant to help you improve, right? And that I’m never trying to insult you, or hurt your feelings? I love you just as much as your coach as I do as your husband.”
“I know,” Yuuri whispers, and kisses him.
Eventually, Yuuri realizes that it’s a good thing that he’s compartmentalized Viktor like this. Sometimes Viktor annoys him to the point that he can barely see straight, and sometimes he and Viktor get into pretty heated arguments in the middle of the rink, but it’s nothing that a coach and student wouldn’t fight over. They don’t fight about the laundry at work, and they don’t fight about work while they’re doing the laundry. In the end, it helps Yuuri to keep a professional air about him, which is necessary when working with the love of your life day in and day out.
(And if once or twice, Yuuri and Viktor have had something that could be called hate sex in the locker rooms after a particularly bad practice? Well. Gentlemen don’t kiss and tell.)
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