Malaysia Boleh!

Sometimes, Malaysia does things a bit differently than we do in the Western World.... Here is a (hopefully) hilarious collection of stories, interactions, and observations from a few ESL teachers living in the much fabulous Satu Malaysia (truly Asia). Can? Yes, can!

[malaysiabolehlah]

That time Kelly locked herself OUTSIDE our house but INSIDE our gate and I had to come home to free her...

From Sabah.

[malaysiabolehlah]

Got to love it when Malaysian teenagers take it upon themselves to find you a significant other ‪

From Pahang :D

[malaysiabolehlah]

For Science!

Whilst being mobbed by my wild form 2s I felt a prick on my head. I turned around to see a kid gleefully brandishing a strand of my hair showing his friends. When he saw me looking he said -- deadpan -- "for science miss" and proceeded to carefully fold it in a piece of paper and tuck it away in his backpack. News spread like wildfire and I'm currently fielding off massive orders for stands of my hair.

[malaysiabolehlah]

Conversations I never thought I would have at midnight:

(after 20 min of hearing scratching, pounding, running, and tumbling in ceiling)

*ring ring*

landlord: hello?

me: hi!

landlord: yes?

me:....I....I think there are monkey's in the ceiling....

landord: ...Do you mean on the roof?

(hears wife in the background explaining to husband what a ceiling is)

me: No.....in the ceiling. Inside roof!

landord: No, no, probably just rats. (

me: I don't think so....too big to be rats...

(long pause)

landord: Okay I go check.

I am still not sure if what I heard was a herd (a flock? a gaggle?) of rats, or a couple of monkeys who somehow got into my ceiling. I have a feeling I never will. The most important question on my mind: Does Raid work on monkeys?

[malaysiabolehlah]

Typical mat salleh (foreigner) treatment in rural kampung (village/town) Malaysia. I am wearing a traditional sarong incorrectly while waiting for my car to be serviced. An unknown woman pulls me over to fix it.

[malaysiabolehlah]

why you gotta be so ruuude?

First thing a teacher says to me on the first day back from June break: "what happened to your face?"

---Perak

[malaysiabolehlah]

Normal Holiday Activities

Fellow Teacher: "What did you do over school holiday?"

Me: "I went to Thailand. What did you do?"

Fellow Teacher: "I took a course on hadith, how to model my life after the prophet..."

Me: "Wow, that seems really interesting. What did you lea-"

Fellow Teacher: "I also figured out how to hack a stolen iPhone and reset the password. I bought this phone for RM200!!!"

--From the state of Terengganu

[malaysiabolehlah]

Sarawak is different...

Although Malaysia is dominantly Muslim, and therefore does not drink, many other kinds of people still live in Malaysia. And, they occasionally consume alcohol... that is not the weird part.

The weird part is when a school principal takes you to a bar after a Teachers Day celebration, and you meet a form 6 student who works there and she proceeds to salaam you right after serving you beer....

[malaysiabolehlah]

All cake is good cake

One of my students talked to me for at least five minutes today and then literally pulled a piece of chocolate cake out from under her tudung (hijab) and gave it to me. 

[malaysiabolehlah]

So lol I saw this kid in my school sporting this swag-a-lisious hat. I asked her what it meant and she looked at me like I was crazy and said, "it's a SnapBack, miss"

[malaysiabolehlah]

My roommates and I were parked on Gaya Street in KK the Saturday night before Chinese New Year. We were told that we had to move our car before the next morning's market. We went to move it that night be extra safe, but when we got there the night market (SURPRISE!) was set up arouuuund our car. Our trunk was being used as a table for a vendor that we could only assume involved some sort of arm-hair removal. We ended up having to move it after the night market, but before the morning market.... between 1am and 3am.

[malaysiabolehlah]

I was defining "glistening" for a student today, when he asked how "refracting" differs from it. I thought about it for a minute, then explained that for light to refract, it has to shine inside an object and then changes direction to escape it, whereas glistening just means light shines or reflects off of a given object (not through it). The student also mulled that over, then asked, "Then sir. It would be more correct for the song to go 'Refracting Like a Diamond,' then, wouldn't it?"

Rihanna got put in her place today by a Malaysian 15 year old.

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From Terengganu~

[malaysiabolehlah]

Call me Daddy

Had a teacher at my school keep saying, "call me Daddy." I just kind of laughed it off, but he persisted. This paired with his aggressive friendliness all prepared me for the worst: I was about to get touched.

He picked me up for school on my first day. Got in the car. He locked the doors. "This is it," I thought. "I got a right hook and a momma that taught me to scream 'help!'" ...But would that be enough to ward off his pursuits? 

Nothing happened that morning, but later that day I often felt a glance brush against the back of my neck. I would turn around and see "Daddy's" eyes dart away.

Yesterday I realized his name is spelled "Dadi" and that he is just really nice.

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From Sarawak~

[malaysiabolehlah]

They take "cheese cake" literally.

[malaysiabolehlah]

I started my morning with a bat attacking a student.

Trying to explain to a bunch of 11 year olds why you cannot keep a bat as a class pet was a lot of fun. Then, they decided killing it was the best solution. Explaining why that was a bad idea was also fun. I guess we will work on verbs tomorrow.

From the state of Terengganu-

[malaysiabolehlah]

I asked for ice cream in a cup.

[malaysiabolehlah]

Malaysia Boleh!