Jesse McCree x Male!Reader - Confess it, else I'll take it to my grave
A/N: it's here. Part 2 to a oneshot written quite some time ago, requested by @madeofunicorns111813 - sorry it took so long - I also took some liberties with the request, hope it's not too bad either way!
Your McCree stuff is the most important thing to me on this planet so can I please get 25 and/or 42 with McCree for the prompt thingy.
McCr
As you slowly open your eyes again, waking from your nap, it's pitch black outside - only a small lantern on the porch spending some light, that illuminates a few more bottles of whiskey and cans of beer standing around the porch swing, mainly where Jesse had sat earlier.
The amount of them made you shake your head in amusement - he must be drunk as balls by now, if he hasn't passed out somewhere else yet.
Now there was no sign of him, not the gentle feeling of his arms around you, no indication where he might be gone - only his scent faintly lingering in the air.
You stretch and sit up straight, taking a deep, content breath.
You check your wristwatch and let out an impressed whistle - you'd slept on that old, only mildly comfortable porch swing from what must've been 10 p.m. to somewhere around two in the morning.
You hear the front door open, Jesse's heavy steps a little uneven as he saunter back over to the porch swing, barely acknowledging you.
In his hand he has a glass of water, sighing deeply before downing it in one go. You fondly watch as he spills just a bit of water, that drips down his beard and stains his shirt.
He sets down the glass and sighs once more, staring of into the vast emptiness of the seemingly never ending fields.
"I reckon, and please take my word on this one - it might just be bedtime for the two of us.", you chuckle as you watch him clumsily trying to get up, setting you swinging ever so slightly.
"You ain't the boss o' me-", he says, a few hiccups interrupting him as he stumbles his way forward.
You roll your eyes and get up as well, offering to be his arm rest and crutch, but instead of throwing an arm over your shoulder he wraps you up in a big hug.
"I'm really glad to be back here-", he slurs, headbutting into your neck with a little more force than he meant to.
You pat his back, letting out another chuckle.
"I know man, I know. You've mentioned it a couple of times.", you calmly state, not too surprised by his emotional outburst - even way back when you were younger he had the habit of getting sappy when he let his guard down - either with the help of alcohol or not.
"Nah, you ain't hearing me Darlin'...", He mumbles against your neck, his beard tickling you, before lazily lifting his head to look into your face.
His right hand finds its way to gently cup your cheek and you feel your face grow a little warmer, as you realize how close he is to you. Granted, you were a little surprised and conflicted about whether it's just the alcohol getting the best of both of you.
But god damn it, if his face didn't look stupidly handsome in the low light of the lantern, making his eyes sparkle as he looks at you with such fondness.
"God, I love you so much…", He says, his voice low as his thumb strokes your cheek.
You swallow harshly, trying to avert your eyes away from him - though you had not completely slept the whiskey from your mind yet, you didn't want to get caught up in something that Jesse might not even mean.
But there was just something so captivating about the way he was looking at you - something you had longed for for almost three decades.
"Y'know, back when we were kids my Ma would tease me 'bout how much I talked about you…", he chuckles as he slurs on "And I'd always tell 'er that she got it all wrong. (Y/N) ain't nothing but a friend, he's just real cool, just my ride or die guy for when times get tough."
A corner of your mouth twitches up into a slight smile at the mention of Jesse's Mother - she was a really sweet lady, always had apple pie ready when you and Jesse came back from a days adventure.
It wasn't until she remarried back when Jesse was 17 that all went downhill.
"But I think she knew I was lyin'. Could see it in her eyes. I bet right now she's looking down at me from the heavens thinking to herself 'told ya so, boy.'", Jesse sighs, pulling you a little closer.
"For the longest time I thought I'd marry you. At some point I would've asked you out, real sweet, had it all planned.", as he keeps talking, you swear his voice is getting weaker and his eyes are getting watery - though you wouldn't bet on it.
You gently stroke his back as he keeps talking.
"I wanted to- I wanted to take you out to sit on that ol' abandoned truck at the very back of my Ma's farm. We would've sat down on the back, under that really ugly lookin' cherry tree. There- there was a meteor shower that night.", His eyes slowly drift away from you as he keeps talking, his hand finding its way down your arm, hesitantly lingering at your fingers.
"I had my whole life figured out - I'd tell you, and you'd tell me that you'd always liked me too, and we'd've kissed under the moonlight and all that. We'd've-", he chuckles slightly "We would've finished school, and gone to prom, and then we'd have gotten jobs and get married…"
He lets out a shaky breath.
"I wanted to- I wanted to have a big, sweet wedding on your Mommas' farm, and then we'd've settled down a little further out - but not too far away from our families. So that when we would have had children they could always celebrate their birthdays with their grandparents an' aunts an' uncles an' cousins."
You sigh and intertwine your fingers with his, bringing the hand that had previously stroked his back to his cheek.
You tenderly wipe a tear away with your thumb, guiding his head back to look at you again.
"I'm- I couldn't. I couldn't tell you. Thought you'd say no... I was too much of a coward. And then- the whole thing with my stepdad happened...Ma told me she was remarrying and I just- I just left- and left you, and her, and he got her and hurt her and I didn't even- I didn't even say goodbye to her I-", he chokes up, lowering his head, his eyes closed as he sobs just the slightest bit.
Unsure of what else to do, you squeeze his hand and wipe some stray hair from his face, encouraging him to look at you again.
He carefully opens his eyes, glancing into yours.
"And yesterday, when I came back you just...you welcomed me with open arms and just- you- I don't deserve you. I don't deserve any of your hospitality and all that…I've- Darlin', I'm the absolute worst.", Tears keeps spilling from his eyes as he rambles on.
You let go of his hand just to wrap your arm around his waist and pull him closer.
"I'm gonna have to disagree with that statement, cowboy.", you smile slightly as his expression changed from sad to slightly confused as you glance at his lips for a short moment, before looking back into his eyes.
His gaze flickers from your own lips, to your eyes and then back to your lips.
And as you pull him closer and closer, until your lips meet for a gentle kiss it feels as though time has stopped in its tracks.
His are slightly chapped, taste like all kinds of alcohol and he still reeks of smoke, but right now you couldn't care less as you close your eyes and melt into the kiss.
You can feel Jesse's shoulders relax as his hands roam around your back and up and down your arms.
And when you part he looks just a little more baffled than before. Though there's also a love struck glaze over his eyes.
"Sweetheart, I- I don't think I understand.", He says, almost breathless, a big, dumb grin on his face.
"And I thought that would get my point across just fine.", you giggle, pressing another soft kiss to his cheek.
"After all this time, I don't think there's a single thing in this world that could make me not love you, Jesse.", you confess.
Jesse's eyes widen and he practically tackles you with another kiss. You don't care about the bottles and cans you knock over with your feet as he makes the two of you stumble back on the porch, back down on the swing.
And it doesn't even bother you when the lantern loses its light - if you were afraid of the dark before, right in this moment it simply didn't matter.
Jesse had you encased in his arms, and by what you could tell, you wouldn't ever have to worry about being alone again.