Malfatti “Lucky” Fortuna

Professional disaster. Amateur detective.

[malfattifortuna]

From Catacombs to Cappuccinos: The End (for Now)

And just like that… the catacombs are closed, the book’s gone, and somehow, we’re all still standing (barely).

Who would’ve guessed our cursed little scavenger hunt would lead to actual magic, a half-mad professor’s redemption arc, and me—Lucky Fortuna—finally being taken seriously. (Okay, semi seriously.)

To the crew: thanks for trusting me even when I led us down the wrong corridor—twice. To Iris: we’ve got a long road, but I see you trying. To Professor H: still side-eyeing you, but Nonna’s forgiven you, so I guess I can too. Just don’t make me cry at Archi’s, I swear.

The book may be ash, but the bonds? Solid. What started as a wild goose chase became something way bigger—our first real adventure. I’ve got a feeling it won’t be the last.

To everyone who followed the chaos: grazie. You made this ride even better.

Until next time (and there will be a next time),

— Lucky

Still flipping that coin. Still chasing secrets.

[malfattifortuna]

🕳️✨ Today’s Mood: Entering the catacombs like absolute fools.

Update from the land of questionable life choices: We found the entrance. (It smelled like "regret" and "ancient pizza.") 🍕💀

Nonna begged us not to go. Phil tripped on the first step. Farren put together pieces of a map. Minerva is stress-solving puzzles at light speed. Caleb is pocketing rocks "for his mosaic project" (??). I flipped my lucky coin and, shocker, it said GO FOR IT. 🪙😇

The air is super weird down here. Like... heavy. Old. Like the walls have secrets they’re dying to tell. I swear I heard whispering, but it might’ve been my stomach. (Note to self: do not enter ancient underground labyrinths hungry.)

First Impressions: ✅ Dark ✅ Dusty ✅ Definitely haunted ✅ 0/10 recommended for claustrophobics

If you don’t hear from me in a few hours... send snacks and maybe a priest. 🙃

(PS: Found some weird markings already. Might post later if we survive.)

#BookOfKnowledge #AURSecrets #NotAFraidYoureAfraid #LuckyStrikesAgain

[malfattifortuna]

The old shed’s been nothing but background noise for years, wood warped by time, hinges rusted like old coins.

But today? Today it spoke back.

Thanks to a few sharp-eyed riddlers (you know who you are), we cracked the code. Door opened like it had been waiting for us.

And behind it?

Not dust. Not junk. But a staircase. Down.

Stone. Echoes. A passage carved deep into the earth.

Catacombs. Real ones. Beneath our feet this whole time.

We’re not in the story anymore, we are the story now.

#CatacombsUnlocked #LuckyLatteEffect #AURMystery

[malfattifortuna]

🍀 Rome's whispering again.

Saw something strange over at Archi Bar today.

A symbol I’ve only seen once before… in a dream.

Could be nothing.

Could be everything.

Might just be one espresso away from enlightenment. ☕

#SecretsOfAUR #CappuccinoCode #NotAJokeThisTimeMaybe

[malfattifortuna]

📍UPDATE: Apparently… I found a MAP. Because obviously the janitor’s office is where ancient mysteries go to chill. 😳🧹🗺️

Behind the world’s oldest mop and a poster from 2009, there it was—framed and half-hidden like someone wanted it to be found eventually. And it’s not just any map. Not of campus, not of Rome. Farren thinks it’s tied to something deeper—like underground deeper. She swears she saw this exact thing in a book somewhere. Minerva says that’s “logically improbable.” Meanwhile, I’m wondering why there are tiny wolf symbols and what looks like a trapdoor drawn on it.

🌀First piece = found. But there are more out there.

And HUGE shoutout to the first five puzzle-solvers who already cracked the riddle under the stairs and claimed their HomeBaked reward—y’all are legends. 👑☕️ For everyone else, the puzzle’s still live if you want in on the mystery. Just no more free cappuccinos (for now…).

📚 Word on the street is Farren’s heading to the library next. If that map is part of something bigger, that’s probably where we’ll find answers—or at least more confusing riddles. Stay tuned.

-Lucky 🍀

SomethingIsBeneathUs #JanitorOfficeLore #MapDrop #WhatEvenIsThis

[malfattifortuna]

I fell through the staircase… and into a secret. 😳🌀 Tell me why there’s an old map just casually chilling behind me like this is a Dan Brown novel. Anyway—I’m fine. Kinda. But maybe you’re not supposed to save me. Maybe you’re supposed to follow me.

This is your first step. Find the place where this pic was taken. It’s somewhere on campus—peek under the stairs if you dare.

Can’t play in person? No stress—follow the story on IG and Tumblr for updates, clues, and chaos. You’ll still be able to solve riddles, uncover secrets, and maybe even win a digital prize.

When you find the hidden clue IRL: 1. Snap a pic at the spot 2. DM it to our page 3. Get your password for a free HomeBaked treat (first 5 win!) 4. Oh yeah—also unlock a piece of the ancient map.

Ready? Here’s the riddle.

Beneath where students climb and roam,

Lies a secret message near your campus home.

A slip of paper or something flat,

Where whispers echo and the floor meets your hat.

Look below, where few might stare,

To find the quest’s first breath of air.

[malfattifortuna]

There is something off about that Professor Harold guy... everyone tells me he's just some lonely old grump, but personally, mans seems kinda diabolical. (I also flipped the coin, and you guessed it, it agrees)

[malfattifortuna]

Something strange is definitely coming... but I don't know what yet.

There seems to be something strange lurking in the cards for me today... literally dude.

Get this, I was waiting for the bus in Testaccio to go back to Trastevere, and decided to play some one-man solitaire. I'm shuffling them out like lightening, taken back by my incredible dealer abilities (beyond the point but I thought I'd add it) a strange card with no face, no numbers, just smudges appeared. So I packed them up and took it as my sign to walk home.

THEN, a cat followed me alllllll the way home. No collar, just those eyes, like it knew something.

There’s a hum in the air, low and pulsing, like the city’s holding its breath.

I don’t run from weird. But even I’m starting to wonder what I’ve gotten myself into.

Stay tuned. Or maybe… stay safe.

[malfattifortuna]

Alright. Listen. I know I have a reputation for exaggerating. “Malfatti, you make everything sound like an action movie.” “Malfatti, not everything is a conspiracy.” “Malfatti, you can’t just call Professor De Luca ‘The Villain’ in front of his face.” But what happened today? Undeniable proof that I’m either cursed, gifted with divine foresight, or the universe’s favorite chew toy. It started with the staircase, the one in AUR’s B Building. You know the one. The spiral death trap that looks like it was designed for monks who took a vow of "falling dramatically." Every time I walk up it, I feel like I’m about to be yeeted into another dimension.

So I said, out loud, to absolutely no one: "One of these days, someone’s gonna fall through this thing, and we’ll find out it was hiding an ancient secret passage all along." Not even five minutes later, I hear CRACK. And then? WHOOSH. The floor actually collapsed. With me on it.

For one glorious second, I was convinced I had unlocked my inner Indiana Jones. That I, Malfatti "Lucky" Fortuna, had single-handedly discovered a hidden underground vault full of lost Roman secrets. But no. You know what I found? A maintenance worker, mid-lunch break, sitting in a dust-covered storage room.

Let me tell you, Paolo the janitor did NOT appreciate me tumbling through his ceiling, landing in his sandwich, and yelling “THE PROPHECY HAS BEEN FULFILLED.” Apparently, this wasn’t a lost crypt. It was just an old supply room nobody uses because, and I quote, “it smells like wet ghosts.” (???)

So now the official story is: The staircase was just old. The floor was just weak. I am just an idiot.

But I ask you, how many times does “coincidence” happen before it’s fate? Because first, I joked about a “secret lair behind an ugly tapestry,” and guess what? There WAS a hidden door behind an ugly tapestry. And now? I call the staircase a death trap, and it betrays me IMMEDIATELY.

I’m telling you, something weird is happening. And whether it’s luck, fate, or my personal curse, I’m gonna figure it out. (But first, I need to go apologize to Paolo and buy him a new sandwich.)