Mama Dixon

Dixon's mother. OC for Mama Dixon. TWD fandom. Please read the rules and the biography.

[thexchaperone-deactivated201701]

"How is m'baby boy today ?"

"What the hell"

[thexchaperone-deactivated201701]

“‘s fine”

[mama-dixon]

"Ya- yer not angry ?"

[thexchaperone-deactivated201701]

"How is m'baby boy today ?"

"What the hell"

[thexchaperone-deactivated201701]

Daryl got that. At least he supposed he did. The man was a mean drunk on his best days but it all just got worse when she’d bit the dust. He doesn’t say anything. Nothing to say. So he just stares down at his boots.

[mama-dixon]

"Am sorry I let ya down."

[thexchaperone-deactivated201701]

"How is m'baby boy today ?"

"What the hell"

[thexchaperone-deactivated201701]

"My mom’s dead. Don’t know who the hell you are but it ain’t her"

[mama-dixon]

"I faked m'death. Couldn't stay with yer Pa anymore."

[thexchaperone-deactivated201701]

"How is m'baby boy today ?"

"What the hell"

[mama-dixon]

"T's me, Daryl."

[daryl-my-brother]

Daryl nods his head to her, trying to reign in his emotions. He can’t go on like that. He wanted to believe her so badly. He couldn’t let himself however. After being hurt by so many people, all he could do is try and believe her.

"I missed ya too." He murmurs, his eye moving to the floor. "We… Merle an’ I went to yer funeral. We couldn’t get much… cause pop used all o’ the money." His hands clenched tightly as he spoke. "I am glad ya ain’t dead."

[mama-dixon]

She kept her hands on his face, her fingers all bloody and dirty on his skin. He was so beautiful, all broken but so strong still. His words made a smile blossom softly on his lips. She couldn't believe that he actually forgave her.

"Ya shouldn't hav' t'go t'rough dat m'sweet boy," she whispered, her thumb stroking mindlessly his cheekbones. "But y'all is so strong, I can see it 'n I'm proud 'f ya, proud 'f da man ya is," she said, her voice soft as her blue eyes locked with his, a mirror of hers.

[daryl-my-brother]

Daryl’s takes a deep breath, having the woman’s hair press against his cheek. He still could barely believe she was alive and breathing. His body hard to control due to the shock and nervous coursing through him.

He moves back away from the woman, looking at her closely. “Do.. Are ya really gonna stick to that?” He asks, wanting to know the truth. “With everythin’ the way it is now. Ya can’t… No one can really promise that can they?”

[mama-dixon]

She let him push her away and her hands slid from his shoulders to his face, cupping his face. Her teeth dug in his lower lip, her eyes in his. He was so broken her baby boy and she was going to try to fix him, to mend what she did.

"I won't ever leave ya willingly," she whispered, her eyes never leaving his. "I don't wanna leave ya 'n if I hav' somethin' t'say about it, I won't leave ya ever," she added. Her thumbs were stroking his cheeks, wiping the wet trails away. "Yer m'sweet baby boy, I missed ya so much."

[daryl-my-brother]

Daryl pushes his face into her shoulder. He can feel his body shaking from the movement. He knew had Merle been there he would have called him a pansy for doing such an act. Instead, he takes calming breaths, feeling the long blond hair against his skin.

"Don’ go away ‘gain." He manages to murmur. His arms making no move to let go of the woman. Even if this was still a dream, he could at least get a little bit out of it.

[mama-dixon]

She can't believe he's really here, can't believe she has him in her arms, can't believe he's not screaming again and fighting her, pushing her away. He's shaking and she just tightens her hold on him. Daryl was always the sweetest, something about him. She had been scared, scared to death to leave him with Will. But Merle was supposed to be here, Merle was supposed to protect me. And somehow, her little boy had succeeded of taking care of her baby boy.

She hears him murmur, whispers and it sounds like a plea, like a prayer. She kissed the side of his head, his temple, "I ain't leavin' ya," she says, her voice cut by sobs but determined, "ever, m'boy." She had been waiting to have him back in her arms for so long.

[betterwatchyermouthsunshine-blog]

He grunted in reply, his mind spinning. Mary. {shit. shit.} It had to just be some sick coincidence, she couldn’t be…alive. She couldn’t just show up in his life now. The dead rising? Sure, he could handle that, did it every day. Her…coming back from the dead?

{Fuck.}

"Mary. Huh. Tell me somethin’: where’d ya come from? Know it ain’ me that brought ya back here so…"

[mama-dixon]

He seemed conscious, all blue eyes and worried face. She guessed that his questions weren't innocent, that he was hinting at something. But she wasn't about to throw in his face that she was his Ma. She hoped that he wouldn't get it so she would have the luxury to bath in his presence without him hating on her. It was cowardice but she had never been known to be brave.

      "Maggie brought me if that's what ya want t'know."

[betterwatchyermouthsunshine-blog]

She looked familiar.

Too familiar, but,

no.

He knew…he’d seen the house, the flames…

No. Couldn’t be…

"An’ who the hell’re you? Ya got something’ t’say best make it quick."

[mama-dixon]

She didn't say anything, just stares at him. Her blue eyes on his, her head bit tilted. "My name is Mary."

[daryl-my-brother]

Daryl shakes at her words. She wasn’t supposed to say that. She was supposed to say something else. He clenches his eyes closed, trying to stop himself from moving closer to her. 

He notices the tear filled gaze on him. He was supposed to say no. Dixons didn’t get to be emotional. They had to stay strong and if they weren’t… They weren’t a Dixon. 

He finally just breaks, turning to the woman and walking up to her. His gaze was stead on her as he paused right in front of her. Awkwardly he lifts on arm wrapping it around her as he tries to give her a hug.

[mama-dixon]

She can see him, see him shaking and she wonders what he'll do. Her bones, her flesh, she's waiting for him but she's so scared. So scared, he'll have that thing from Will, that delectation of hurting people, to destroy their dreams and turns them in ashes. She can taste blood on the tip of her tongue but she doesn't care.

She watches him walk toward her and a shaky breath escapes her lips as he lifts his arms. She locks her arms around his shoulders, her head buried in his neck, "M'baby boy," she whispers, closing her eyes. He was so big and strong, her baby, so real and warm under her arms. Her fingers thread lightly through his hair as she breathes him in. She is finally home.

[askmerledixon]

"Merle ?" ... "Is that-- is that you ?"

He’s pretty sure his heart drops right into the pit of his stomach when he hears her voice— a voice he’s nearly forgotten, its memory worn away by years.

     “— Ma?”

[askmerledixon]

Maybe he sees her little flinch, that

slight jerk backwards as all his  muscle tense and his nostrils flare. His voice gets louder and harsher when he continues, eyes hard as he glares at the mother who’d  left him. Who’d abandoned him. Who came back claiming to love him.

     ”Jus’— Jus’ shut up! Tha’s all       bullshit.”

His voice wavers. Falters. Cracks. He grows as if that might ward  away the tremor that threatens  his tone. 

     ”Y’ain’t foolin’ nobody!”

[mama-dixon]

She hears the cracks, she hears the defeat in his tone as he pushes her away. She's not mad, she's not trying to win something. This isn't a game, this is her boy and she wants him back. She's not out to play.

"I ain't foolin' anyone 'cause I ain't tryin' to. Yer m'son, that ain't wron', that ain't a lie. I want y'all back, that ain't a lie either. I'll do whatever ya want me to. But don't say I gave up on ya."

[daryl-my-brother]

Daryl glances back up to the woman. He could see her starting to break down. His own body shaking at the thought. He still couldn’t get himself to completley give up on her. Even if he yelled and told her that he never would trust her. He knew at the same time it was a lie. Merle always did say that he was to caring and forgiving.

He intakes a small breath. “Well ya did leave me with ‘im.” He can feel his body trying to allow all his emotions through to her. He started to remember how he felt when he was younger. So small. “Ya left me. Jus’ like everyone else. Blood don’ mean shit.”

[mama-dixon]

She shakes her head, a few tears escaping her eyelids. She snorts, looking on the sides, trying to calm herself, trying not to break down and beg him to let her something, let her anything, a drop of him just. She digs her teeth in her lower lip and closes her eyes, taking a deep breath, "I know," she finally whispers.

"I know I left y'all, yer brother 'n ya," she whispers, "I left ya 'n 'm so sorry but y'all is m'son, m'last one on dat Earth," she added, tears lacing her voice. "Let me be with y'all," she pleads, her voice breaking at the end.

[dingleminyard]

[mama-dixon]

"... /'Ma?/" ~ [quidfaciamillud]

Everything stops as her eyes find him.    ”— Daryl .. ?”

[quidfaciamillud-blog]

{ daryl swallows several times. he’s torn between being angry and breaking down completely and the two are dangerously intertwined and he knows he can’t push one or the other off much longer. the heels of his hands dig into his eyes and he pushes a rough breath through his nose. }

                    “… Why now? Why did’ja never come back ‘till now? I — Why — Why not earlier, when we needed ya? When I needed ya?”

{ he’s not shouting now, his voice has dropped to a quieter yet still broken tone. }

[mama-dixon]

(she bites her lower lip, tears falling softly on the flesh of her cheeks. she slowly walks toward him and her fingers graze his cheek. he's suffering, because of her, her weakness and her stupid choice. she was a coward, she left because she was terrified but she won't leave her son one more time. not when he's all alone.)

    " — I weren't supposed to find both of ya. But I found a family, Mexican or somethin' 'n they talked about y'all 'n Merle. T'was a sign from God, I had t'see ya again. Can't fix wat I did before but 'm her' now 'n I wanna stay with ya."

(her voice is soft, talking to her baby, talking to her child. she tried to show him that she's willing to do anything for him. that she's done running and is now laying all her love at his feet. he can throw it out, can beat her love to the ground and bury it. but it would still be here and she would still love him. she just wants a chance.)

[mama-dixon]

"... /'Ma?/" ~ [quidfaciamillud]

Everything stops as her eyes find him.    ”— Daryl .. ?”

[quidfaciamillud-blog]

{ now he’s really shouting, tears sting at his eyes and he lets out a broken breath as his hands lift and push through his hair. he walks a few steps away before turning back to stare at her. }

                    “Why’re y’even here, ma? Pa’s dead, did a fuckin’ number on me ‘n Merle — Now Merle’s dead and th’world’s gone t’shit ‘n then y’show up.”

[mama-dixon]

(he's struggling, fighting but she can see that the fight is coming to an end as his walls crumble down. she wants him back. she doesn't want his forgiveness, doesn't deserve it but she wants to know him, to have a chance with him.)

    " —Maybe 'cause we is da last one 'f dat family mean somethin'. I want y'all t'give me a change. T'get t'know ya."

(there, she said it. she wants him back, he's her baby, she gave birth to him and she wants a chance to make it up, at least a bit to him. because she loves him, had always loved him and she wants a chance to show what love is.)

[giocardasblog]

[mama-dixon]

You miss him, don’t you?

[mama-dixon]

"... /'Ma?/" ~ [quidfaciamillud]

Everything stops as her eyes find him.    ”— Daryl .. ?”

[quidfaciamillud-blog]

{ he lets out a sound. some broken thing that tears at his lungs and throat before tumbling out. it’s a laugh, maybe it’s derisive and angry but fuck if daryl knows. he’s lost everything — merle’s gone and now she’s standing here like nothing had changed, like nothing was wrong. }

                    “Ain’t tha’ bad? D’ya — Ya… Y’don’ even know what I’ve been through. Merle’s dead, ma. Didja think y’d come back ‘n things would be fine? Well they ain’t — I — Merle turned, fuckin' turned int'… I had t’kill him. Th’only family I had.”

{ his voice cracks and he’s angry and sad and broken all at once — it’s like being in front of merle with his brother trying to take a bite out of him all over again. he wants to scream until his throat bleeds, wants to just turn and walk away and run until his legs can’t carry him anymore. }

[mama-dixon]

(he's screaming and he looks angry, all twisted inside like he isn't sure what he's supposed to feel. she hears the cracks in his voice, the cracks in his soul as he confesses, as he slaps her with the truth. Merle. her little boy with his blond curls and his smile full of tooth. it's like a physical blow and her breath catches in her throat.)

    " — I meant dat I was happy t'see ya. Not dat, no, Merle is, he were — he were m'boy just like ya are, I-- I didn't know, I just, I wish."

(she stops talking. she's defeated. her boy is dead, killed by his baby brother. and all that guilt, that pain, what's broken, what she can't repair. it's weighing her down, breaking her like she needed to be more broken. she lost her boys to the madness of a man, lost her boys to save them and her own skin.)

    " —Yer still m'boy."