When I Said I Was Leaving You
When I said I was leaving you What I really meant was: I am afraid of heights. My body once survived a plane crash, so you shouldn’t have swept me off my feet, I still fear anything that requires me to be lifted from the ground.
I have spent the past few days berating myself, reminiscing about how we spent most nights laughing till the back of our ears hurt until our voices turned into silent squeals Reminiscing about how ensconced we felt in the safety net of our arms, in the knowing that our souls felt like Siamese twins
But, I am still here, using my uncertainties to power an engine of excuses for why we never made it past here.
When I said I was leaving you What I really meant was: My past is a magnet that attracts me to emergency exit doors. So do not over examine the footprints I’ll be leaving behind or worry about the height I’ll be falling from, I always have a parachute hidden inside my mouth just incase.
When I said I was leaving you What I really meant was: I place expiry dates on lovers who travel into my life and you have reached the end of your visitation period
When I said I was leaving you What I really meant was: I am a runway I love the view of men taking off from me
When I said I was leaving you What I really meant was: I am scared. I am afraid of heights,
so you can take off without me.
-Theresa Lola, as published in Brittle Paper
