fish in my swimtrunks.

LALALA my name is Krista and I have a son who likes Power Rangers and cars and pretty much everything else you ask him about. Like Hawaiian Bats. Did you know they eat stink bugs? My life also features The Hobbit, Max Bemis, Bones, feminism, and yeah. Also working on a sleeve of math tattoos because I am the nerdiest nerd.

[mathprofessorquotes]

“That is a philosophical problem with calculus. The better question is, why are you here, and why are you here with that attitude?”

— Physics professor, responding to a complaint about never being offered a rigorous proof on why calculus works

[ameriqan]

[parttimepup]

Zoo staff don’t understand it but I do.

[thebigblackwolfe]

womanist icon tbh

[lilmamabeyellin]

[liquidlimits-deactivated2019032]

I just opened up a check in the mail, went to the ATM & found 20$ 😭 I’m not passing these shits up NO more on my mama!

[razxion]

Even if I do not receive money or good news, I did smile at seeing this smiling Buddha.

[dailypattondoodles]

^^^^

[black-hippie-moonchild]

Same here ☺️☺️

[spacedlexi]

if anyone would like to learn a couple tricks for carving pumpkins:

- dont cut out the top to scoop out the seeds, cut out the bottom instead. this way the pumpkin doesnt cave in on itself and lasts longer - sprinkle some cinnamon inside at the top after carving. this way when you put the candle in it smells like pumpkin pie

[topsiders-tanlines]

this is the quality content I wanna see on my dash

[spider-hands-mannos-deactivated]

- rub the i sides with lemon after you’re done scooping. This will also help preserve the pumpkin

[dashaibo]

It’s fucking June, at least wait until the fourth of July, you animal.

[frowningfox]

I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of me disemboweling this pumpkin.

[mysharona1987]

[shencomix]

[magicalmissb]

Mine would also include a small slice for buying an actual cheeseburger to eat, otherwise… this is accurate.

[securityunit-ese]

Okay so like…A few weeks ago I saw this in a dollar store and thought it was pretty neat so I bought it

and now I’m wondering if I jinxed myself because like a couple of weeks after, I  bought this:

[securityunit-ese]

he’s looking more and more like the plate every day, i think i did accidentally buy a prophetic plate

[securityunit-ese]

I think the brown is taking over purposely so he can match the plate???

[securityunit-ese]

getting entirely too similar for comfort

possibly he is growing to match the plate?

[mindfulwrath]

the portrait of Doggian Gray

[frolickingthroughmanatees]

BEST THRIFT PURCHACE 11/10 WOULD THRIFT AGAIN. 

[notreewaits-deactivated20200806]

Toddlers are so pure. She doesn’t understand that we help her with certain things because she’s little. She thinks that everyone just helps each other like that. So she tries to blow on my food and cut it up for me and tries to help me put on my shoes.

[pussysoupforthesoul-deactivated]

i was giving little wagon rides to a baby around the backyard one day and all of a sudden she hops off and slaps the seat of the wagon telling me to get on because it was my turn and i was like no it’s ok im too heavy and she was like NO ITS UR TURN and kept tugging on my hand so i would sit down. eventually i got on and it was just a little 2 year old trying so hard to push me around on a wagon not understanding why it wouldn’t budge but still so determined to let me have my turn lol

[veryfunnymemes]

[wittyworm]

i have been sitting in this burger king for 4 hours

[geniusoflove]

they don’t come to take your order you have to go to the counter

[showerthoughts-lol]

When medication says "do not operate heavy machinery" they're probably mainly referring to cars, but my mind always goes to forklift.

[rebelmeg]

My mine has literally NEVER gone to cars.

[ommanyte]

Big lick energy

[gods-oats]

Alternative:

[coffee-teach-wine]

Bless.

[onlytwitterpics]

[los-plantalones]

Water is so important, friends!! 🌱💦

[arvoze]

i took a pic of me watching the pickle rick episode to piss people off but like somehow i managed to take the pic so that the frame on the tv was…. a different frame to the reflection on the desk?

[homophobic]

cursed image

[groupthinker]

this is the most fucked up scenario that accurately depicts that movement of photons through space and time

[shantpat-deactivated20200415]

Einstein would be so upset that you proved his theory in one moment, cause in his day it took fuckin months to setup an eclipse pic to prove relativity n you did it by accident, in ur living room. congrats.

[ulibeanzz]

you know when you’re eating something with lettuce and a leaf winds up hanging out your mouth while you’re chewing and for a few seconds you fuse souls with that of a 66 million year old gentle and slow brachiosaurus? love that

[wildflowersandwishes]

Me: *mostly void, partially stars*

[teachinginreallife]

When students ask me too many questions without reading the instructions first