*taps the mic*
First post, first post. Alright hum...what ?
Cosimo Galluzzi

oozey mess
Stranger Things

Kiana Khansmith

JBB: An Artblog!

JVL
NASA
One Nice Bug Per Day

@theartofmadeline
Peter Solarz

shark vs the universe
Game of Thrones Daily
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Sade Olutola
h
will byers stan first human second
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
almost home
KIROKAZE

★
seen from Malaysia
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seen from United States
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seen from United States
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seen from T1
seen from Malaysia

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seen from Malaysia

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seen from United States
@mantalray
*taps the mic*
First post, first post. Alright hum...what ?
I have to speak up...
Sylus music in the new banner is so ass.
PLEASE ZAYNE..YOU LOVE ME RIGHT!? YOU HAVE TO COME EARLY THEN..... OTHERWISE I'LL CRY
I swear if I don't get this fine man home I'll be on the news for all the worst reasons
Btw I see almost everyone who pulled for Zayne's birthday got the memory card in a few pulls...
I got it in 20 pulls...
Doesn't it sounds fishy ? Doesn't it sounds like trouble ?
I know It's Infold's way of giving us joy before disaster, yall his myth is coming SOON and I am suddenly scared, like TERRIFIED what kind of messed up plate of trauma and tears are they cooking for them to go full last supper in the death row mode ? Clemency does NOT exist in this house, SOMETHING IS BREWING AND IT'S NOT GOOD
Zayne girlie's, need your help 😔
I was reading this Arranged marriage Zayne x reader story but can't find it anymore and I really liked it I wanna finish it I'm so sad
It started with reader going to Akso hospital to give Zayne a letter with divorce papers and her going out alone and with Zayne ending up on his knees in her room begging her to not leave
That's as much as I read and I need to finish it now I want to know how it ends please help a fellow idiot 😭
NO FUCKING WAY I GOT MY FAVS ON THE FIRST PULL ARE YOU KIDDING BZJSZKZKALANANAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
my favorite genre of bearded vulture images is middle aged people cradling them like babies
can we stay together? | caleb xia (m)
summary: ever since you and caleb xia had been paired together for flight simulations, the two of you realized you made the perfect team - your calm, no-nonsense focus on your objectives balancing out his playful, sometimes aggressive captaining and piloting of whatever vessel he's put in. a drunken kiss shared in a bar puts strain on your friendship, with you squashing your ever-burgeoning feelings for him because you know his heart belongs to someone else - and he’ll never be yours. an invitation changes everything, but it’s not just any invitation…no, caleb’s received an invitation to his best friend’s (who’s basically his little sister) wedding. blindsided by the suddenness, caleb comes to you, the only one who he sees capable of helping him with his crazy ideas, with one that may ruin you completely: go back to his hometown and be his date to the wedding. what could possibly go wrong? info: daa fighter pilot!caleb x daa operations officer!afab!reader | daa pilots au | non-mc reader | unrequited requited love (they fall in love by the end i promise) | fluff, angst, some comedy, smut | 27k words (i am so sorry-) warnings: set in a alternate canon compliantish universe but if caleb was only in the DAA + him and mc grew apart + the events leading up to the farspace fleet never happened, non-mc mc, caleb’s childhood friend’s name is meilin chu (do we get the joke?? meilin chu?? mc??? okay-), gideon + patrick + josephine + xavier + hunters association characters make an appearance, gideon and patrick take the term wingman literally and figuratively, meilin is a girl’s girl and mc has a hard time confronting herself and her feelings bc of this, howl’s moving castle mention but vaguely, they yearn for each other, caleb says they’re going to pretend to be normal and almost like a couple haha so funny (narrator voice, they’re not pretending btw), fluff, a gratuitous basketball game scene, meilin and reader bonding, a dress/corset tying scene [her dress is referencing a longer version of caleb mc’s spring and flowers dress!!], tension, wedding scenes [meilin’s dress is referencing xavier mc’s wedding dress!], angst, crying, making up, love confessions, smut, dom(ish) caleb x sub!afab!reader, messy kissing, kind of? manhandling, clothed grinding, mc pulls caleb down by his necklace mhm, m!receiving! hair pulling, f!receiving! fingering, f!receiving! oral sex, g-spot stimulation, clit stimulation, f!receiving! multiple orgasms, squirting, unclothed grinding, unprotected sex, the necklace dangles in front of her face during sexxxy time and tbh we need that in game, m!receiving! scratching, crying during sex, creampie, oh boy- author's note: writer's block might be strong but I'M STRONGER BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh my god i hope you guys enjoy (;-;) if you liked this pls send me an ask!! i rlly appreciate you for reading this monster of a fic, she's my new baby ♡ disclaimer: if you are a minor and you're seeing this, i ask that you turn away and do not read. this is an 18+ story and minors are not welcome. if you are uncomfortable with any of the topics listed in the warning, please do not read this story! header made by me! thank you to: @starlightkwan for beta reading and being the best ading and cheerleader (;-;) you mean so much to me!! i love you long time <33 *ੈ✩‧₊˚ playlist linked here!
How do you come back from a kiss you’ve dreamed of for years now?
You don’t know, especially since it just…happened.
One second you were at the bar top, shooting the shit with your squadron after a regularly scheduled fighting simulation. You would have stopped after your usual one cocktail before chugging a water and eating bar nuts so that you could drive your drunk teammates back to the DAA’s housing, but something felt different.
And with Gideon promising to stay sober to give you a break from being the mom of the group, why not do something unusual?
One drink turned to three, three drinks turned into hyping up the crowd in the middle of the bar’s dance floor by the antique record player, and dancing turned into…this.
A calm space in the middle of the sweaty, passionate bodies - his hands on your waist while you wrap your arms around his neck so that you can peer into his amethyst eyes that are creased in the corners because of the soft smile on his lips.
“Captain Xia, don’t you know it’s in bad taste to be dancing with your operations officer like this?” There’s no bite in your tone, only heated desire as you tease him gently. He’s nonplussed though, simply grabbing at one of your hands grasping at his shoulder so that he can twirl you around gently.
“Not when I’ve wanted to do this since I first met you in training.” Caleb emphasizes the words by dipping you in his arms, making a breathless laugh leave your lips as he pulls you back into his embrace. His hands settle on your hips before he lifts you in the middle of the dance floor, spinning you around in the hot air and making you feel weightless with a dizzy, giddy feeling.
The spin comes to a stop with you falling back safely into his embrace, him wrapping you in his arms so that all you can smell is the standard soap given to all personnel in the DAA and his sweat that makes him smell so fucking good. The moment freezes when you realize just how close the two of you are to each other - chests pressed together, noses brushing, eyes wide with the realization of what might happen. Is this really about to happen? Are you two really about to-
“____, my north star,” comes a soft murmur from beside your ear, before hesitant lips brush against yours lightly.
The effect is instantaneous - your fingers reaching up to grab at his short hair while you pull him closer to deepen your kiss. A groan escapes his mouth as he moves his lips with more fervor, mixing with the quiet whimper you unknowingly let out and making your head turn even more fuzzy than it already is.
His feet move almost unwittingly, and you gasp as you fall into a shadowy alcove of the bar. Caleb’s quick to press you into the wall, pulling your legs up so he can wrap them around his slender waist and push the beginnings of his bulge into your needy core. A moan slips out of your mouth at the contact and your fingers twine through his hair, pulling lightly as your kisses turn desperate. He answers with a whispered expletive before swiping his tongue against your bottom lip, making your mouth fall open and giving him access to your taste.
This is everything you’ve ever dreamed about - everything you’ve been afraid to do because you’re squadron mates and a system operations officer does not kiss her pilot and captain.
The kiss slowly comes to a stop, the alcohol that’s still burning in your veins mixing with the heady desire that pools in your stomach. Your skin feels electric - like any more of his touches will light you on fire and burn the both of you in your endless need for him.
You don’t want this, him, to stop.
But when his eyes slowly open, you feel your heart sink in your chest.
Even with his eyes dilated, you can see the shock on his face - jaw slowly going slack, cheeks rapidly pinking, and his hands flexing at your sides. Hesitation blooms on his face, and he shifts away just enough for the dim lighting of the bar to catch the silvery words on the dog tags he never takes off.
When U Come Back.
It’s like water’s been poured all over you, leaving you shivering and wet with the realization of what just happened.
Of what cannot happen again.
You force yourself to laugh as you unwrap your legs from his waist, taking a quick moment to steady yourself before pushing him away so he can’t reject you first and the ever simmering longing you’ve felt for him since you first met in training all those years ago. Your hands burn from the effort and you shake them out, shaking your head and moving your body away from him.
“It’s fine, Xia.” Your words are bitter even with the influence of lethargic softness from the alcohol, and you avert your eyes from his as you cross your arms in front of your chest as a sort of protective layer. “We can forget this ever happened.”
You turn on your heels and walk away from his limp arms and slack jaw, forcing yourself to swallow his unspoken rejection because at the end of the day, you’re still squadron mates - you’re his operations officer, after all. You have a job to do, a base to attend to, aircraft to manage and ensure fly safely.
But when you sink into your bunk after taking a shower and washing your sins off of your body, you let yourself cry for a single second.
Gideon is onto you.
Which is awful, because Gideon is the least attentive man in your squadron - so you don’t know how the fuck you’ve managed to let yourself slip like this.
“This is Gideon, requesting approach and descent information from ____.”
“You’re supposed to use your callsign, you know,” you sigh - half in jest, but mostly serious as your fingers fly across your keyboard to type the time of approach and check the aircraft he’s piloting. “The logs will get too long if you constantly use your name and I’m going to be the one that has to fix it-”
“-I refuse to be called Trip after a stupid incident from our academy days, ____.”
“My professional callsign is Dizzy, just like your professional callsign is Trip, Trip.” Your voice is clipped, although a small smile graces your lips as you relay the following information to him. “I suggest you remember it because our superiors will drill it into our heads.”
A crackle comes in through the system, and the next sentence you hear has you nearly banging your head against your desk. “This is Patrick, requesting approach and descent information from ____.”
“Oh my days, not you too.” You rub your hand across your face, frustration building up at their relentless teasing as you relay the vital information, even in your annoyance. “For the last time, my callsign is Dizzy and I swear on the gods if no one uses proper protocol, I will be reporting the three of you to the higher-ups-”
“This is Caleb, callsign Apple, requesting approach and descent information from ____.”
Your mouth shuts.
You can vaguely hear them ribbing into Caleb, but you tune them out when you feel the hair on your arm stand at his soft, slightly rough voice. The way he turns your name in his mouth with such care and reverence, how his voice dropped the softest octave - making the inflections of your name sound even more intimate because of how it enters your head from your comms system.
How your breath catches when you think about it too hard. The last time he said your name like that in a dingy bar with his mouth by your ear before he kissed the daylights out of you.
“Ooo, ____’s silent! Caleb’s in trouble,” Patrick’s laugh is static-y over your comms system, but you can’t even deny him or blame nonexistent lag because it’s true. Still, you’re grateful for the reality check.
You sigh, forcing yourself to be clipped as you relay only the basic information needed before you finish with, “Apple, you’re good for landing. Dizzy out.”
Outside of your office from your floor-to-ceiling windows, you can see the jets from the mission zipping by the building and doing their customary loop to slow down before landing and rolling into the hangar adjacent to your building. It gives you approximately five minutes to calm down before they land and you walk out to the hangar for the post-mission debrief.
Five minutes to calm the tremors of your hands and quiet the feelings that have been threatening to spill over into your daily life since a shared kiss from…two months ago.
On the outside, you and Caleb have gone through the motions - pretending as if nothing happened as you let yourself indulge in the friendly and innocent touches the two of you have always done - even back in your academy days.
An intentional brush of the back of your hands as you walk into the office for a mission assignment, his hand settling on your shoulder as he steadies himself to pull up the legs of his g-suit, your fingers lingering on his as you give him his helmet, the way his lips moved against yours in that dingy bar-
-snap out of it, ____!
You give up on trying to calm your nerves as you stand up abruptly from your desk, smoothing the small crinkles of your uniform’s slacks before grabbing your laptop and the printed log of today’s mission. You scowl when you see your name pop up multiple times near the very end of the log, deciding to just correct it with correctional fluid and a pen before submitting all of the files to your higher-ups.
Your walk is brisk, shoes barely squeaking on the linoleum as you stride over to the hangar adjacent to the flight offices. You’re opening the doors just as Gideon and Patrick are disembarking, laughing about something unknown while they tie the sleeves of their g-suits around their waist to cool off a little bit.
“____!” Patrick calls sweetly, and you can’t hide your smile even when you roll your eyes as you approach them. “Our mission was a success, no?”
You nod quickly, although it turns into a scowl when he puts you in a sweaty headlock and ruffles your head in an affectionate, big-brother sort of way. And he’s exactly that for your squad of four - dependable, calm, and the cornerstone of your group.
“Get off of me!” It’s halfhearted as you push him off of you, smoothing the flyaways of your bun as much as you can while you frown at your watch. “Where’s Captain Xia?”
One of Gideon’s eyebrows quirks at your statement, mouth in a thin line as he assesses the way you ignore him while Patrick answers your question. “He needed to pilot his aircraft into another hangar for maintenance - he encountered turbulence as we were exiting the Deepspace Tunnel and he wanted to make sure nothing was wrong. Why? Is everything okay?”
“Yeah,” you say, fingers mindlessly tapping against the folder in your arms as you carefully choose your next words. “Just wanted to make sure he’s okay, I guess.”
“He’s good, ____, promise.” Patrick’s eyes soften at your supposed worry over Caleb, brushing a comforting hand over your arm as he plucks the files from your arms. “In fact, I can be the one to take these over to him and submit them, okay? Get some rest.”
He leaves no room for argument, simply turning on his heel and walking away with a wave of his hand.
“You guys really are like my big brothers,” you grumble, although you feel blissful relief at the idea of delaying seeing him until tomorrow. Your hand slips into your pocket, pulling out your phone so that you can begin to clock out. “I’ll see you around, okay Gideon?”
“____.”
Gideon’s voice stops you in your tracks, and you try your absolute hardest to straighten the grimace on your face as you turn to him slowly. “Yeah?”
“Are you and Caleb okay?”
You stop in your tracks.
“Why wouldn’t we be?” There’s a crack in wouldn’t, one that makes you wince because it’s so obvious - even to the most oblivious man. You hope that Gideon just lets it be so that you can go to your quarters for the evening and maybe read a book, but the universe decides you’re not lucky enough for today.
No, not when you see Gideon’s eyebrow quirk up at your supposed calm.
“That.” There’s an emphasis in the word that lets you know he’s caught you, and you sigh as you prepare for your pseudo-interrogation. “____, you and Caleb seem different these days. Did something happen between the two of you?”
“Everything’s chill, Gideon.” It sounds more stable the second time around, although you still fiddle with the hem of your shirt as your eyes dart to everywhere from his own. “Things have been fine since we went out at the bar a couple of months ago-”
“I never mentioned the bar, ____.”
Shit.
You laugh nervously, fingers tapping against the back of your phone as you try to think of your escape. “Oh, right! It’s just that it was the last time we all went out as a squadron, and-”
“-and does that not include the hotpot meal we went to literally last week, where you also decided to kind of ignore Caleb?”
Gideon knows he has you cornered by the way you freeze slightly, hands falling limply at being caught. Your breath escapes you in a heavy sigh and he takes it as an opportunity to approach you. He pats your head gently and asks, “Did something happen at the bar, ____?”
“We kissed and it’s been messing with my head.”
It spills out of your mouth before you can even register what you're saying, and you feel your spine stiffen at the fact you’ve just spilled your deepest secret and fantasy to someone who’s basically your older brother. Your head tilts up, scared of how he might react-
-but you can only see the relief on Gideon’s face, even when his jaw is set in a straight line as he folds his arms across his chest.
“Knew it was you.”
“W-what?” It’s a stutter, one that makes Gideon smile as you flounder for words. “Me? What do you even mean?”
“Caleb was groaning on and on how he kissed someone and it was the best kiss of his life after we got home from the bar. And his eyes have been lingering on your longer than usual, ____.” Gideon stops patting your head, simply moving his hand to your shoulder so he can give you a comforting squeeze. “He’s been thinking about you too, you know.”
“Doubt it,” you scoff. “He’s blissfully oblivious to the fact that I've felt like this because…”
Because of his childhood friend.
The taste in your mouth turns sour as you imagine her visage - Meilin Chu with her long, silky hair and genuinely kind eyes as she wraps her arms around your neck and thanks you for taking care of her silly best friend during your DAA graduation and the way Caleb’s eyes soften when she’s around, smile a little wider, stance a little more relaxed.
Something you’ve never seen for yourself…for you.
Gideon senses your discomfort, and the grip he has on your shoulder tightens. “Have you asked him that?”
“I don’t need to.” You shrug his shoulder off and return your eyes back to your phone screen so you can attempt to ignore Gideon’s burning stare. “I just know. He floundered after we kissed and he hesitated. Nothing else to it.”
“God, you two are impossible.” Gideon’s hum is amused, and you look up just in time to see him shrug as a sly smile spreads across his face. “Just talk to him, ____.”
“Nope. Bye, Gideon!”
You turn to walk away, finally submitting your clock out report as you think of all of the ways you can now avoid Caleb and Gideon. Surely Patrick will help you out, right? He’s always been like your big brother and maybe he’ll tell them to leave you alone!
“You’re avoiding the inevitable, ____.”
You freeze when you hear his statement but you simply shrug, deciding to keep cool and continuing to walk away even when you hear him click his tongue at your avoidance. “You guys could skip to kissing if you just talked to him!”
“Not a chance in hell of that happening! Bye, Captain Trip!”
With all of your bravado as you walk away from his shaking head, you certainly don’t feel it. No, you feel a quiet churning in the pit of your stomach as you submit your clock out time to the DAA’s system and let your feet wander to the mess hall so that you can eat before locking yourself in your dorm.
Safe from seeing Caleb physically, sure.
But not safe from the feelings that threaten to choke you with your affection for him.
You’ve never been this engrossed by a movie in your life until now.
Your face is awash in the bright scenery as you sit in your comfiest pajama set, enraptured by the scenes playing out in front of you on your computer screen. The way that the blond love interest spins the main character around in the air as they traipse through the sky before calling her his girl and leaving? The banter and the found family aspect of the movie?
The accompanying musical score? The romance???
Needless to say, you’re obsessed.
It’s almost enough to distract you from your own woes and Gideon’s words bouncing around in your brain.
Action word here being almost.
You reach over and rewind the movie to your favorite part (the scene right before they’re soaring across the sky to escape the henchmen) but you barely register what’s happening on your screen as you mull over what Gideon said to you.
Knew it was you.
He’s been thinking about you too, you know.
Just talk to him, ____.
They swirl in your head until your stomach roils with unease, making you flop back onto your bed as you think back to the past couple of months. You and Caleb have been pretty good at avoiding what happened in the bar - almost back to normal, if a little strained. You never look at him for too long because it feels hard to breathe or even think professionally if you stare at him for too long, but you’re okay with living like this if it means he’s still somewhat in your life.
But do you want to settle for this, ____?
A small voice filled with hope and romance in the back of your head betrays you and you scowl at its insistence. “I’m fine.”
But what if he actually wants you, too?
“Oh, this is impossible,” you grumble to yourself as you sit back up. You pause the movie (they’re beginning to float in the air right now) and walk towards the door, barely registering that you’re only in a thin camisole and a matching pair of sleep shorts. It’s not like anyone’s going to be awake at this hour, anyways. You’re just going to the mess hall to get some ice cream-
“Xia?”
He’s standing at your door, covered in a sheen thin of sweat and panting heavily while his fist still remains raised, about to knock on your wide-open door. He looks like he’s seen a ghost with how pale his face is, pupils blown wide as his shoulders shake slightly.
He looks utterly wrecked.
You sigh heavily, grabbing the first sweater you see off of your desk and pulling it on top of your thin camisole so he can’t see you in your state of basically undress as you beckon for him to come inside. He bursts through the door and barely perches himself on your bed as you close the door, making your way to your mattress and settling yourself a little bit away from his trembling body.
“Sorry, ____, I just needed to be here-” He’s breathing shallowly, hands pushing his sweaty hair back as you realize he’s in his workout clothes, his tank top drenched with sweat and grey shorts barely hiding the thick muscles of his thighs. But you can’t find it in yourself to feel desire - no, you only feel worry when you see the absolute devastation on his face as his shoulders shake.
“Is everything okay, Caleb?”
Mentally you slap yourself for the redundant question. Of course he’s not okay. But it offers an avenue for him to tell you the issue, and it comes in the form of him holding out a slightly wrinkled stack of papers.
You take the papers from his hand, careful not to brush against his fingers as you feel the weight of the luxurious material in your palms. The cardstock is a thick, soft cream color with intentional texture and a wax seal that’s been cracked open. You lift the flap delicately, and the first couple of words your eyes scan over makes your breath catch in your throat.
You have cordially been invited to the wedding of Meilin Chu and Xavier Shen.
“Caleb-”
“She didn’t tell me until just now.”
It’s a bleeding confession and you’re quick to grab Caleb’s arm, dragging him deeper in your bed so that he can lay down on it heavily. You sit next to him and despite the unspoken tension between the two of you, you allow him to settle his head on your lap as you run your fingers through his slightly damp hair.
“I knew she was dating someone from the Hunters Association and that it had been going on for a while, but I didn’t know they were getting married.” It’s not angry at all, you can only describe his voice as shocked and hurt by the news he’s just received. “And they’re getting married so soon? ____, I just…I don’t know how to deal with it.”
“I’m sorry, Caleb,” you murmur softly. Your hand settles on top of his head and you take to patting him softly as you mull over your next words. “Did you talk to her about it?”
“No,” he scoffs slightly. Caleb shifts his body so he’s laying on his back, head tilted back as he closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. “We haven’t talked since I went home a couple of months ago for our scheduled break. Everything seemed normal, you know? I even hung out with Xavier and some of their Association friends because Mei insisted. Everything is…it was normal, ____.”
“I’m sorry,” you murmur, fingers gentle through his hair as he groans and rubs at his eyes.
“I just thought pips would tell me, you know, ____? We’re family.” His voice catches at the last word and you sigh heavily, resuming patting his head because what are you supposed to do in this situation?
Your eyes flash over to the dog tags resting on his chest, the soft glint of When U Come Back accompanied by the little apple charm flashing at you like a knife. You know where his official dog tags are - they’re with Meilin, a sign of his dedication and loyalty to her and only her.
Your chest aches, thinking of your own dog tags gathering dust in the little box somewhere in your desk drawers. The dog tags are something you’ve never been able to give to someone because you didn’t have anyone who gives a damn about you back home in Chansia City. It’s always just been you.
You can never be mad at the relationship he has with Meilin. No, you just ache because you wish someone would put yourself above all else, like he does for her.
You want to matter, too.
You’re drawn out of your stupor when you hear your name fall from his lips, and you look down at him in confusion. “What was that?”
“Come with me to the wedding.”
Everything stills and you look down at him, blinking in shock.
“Excuse me?” It’s a breathless heave of your chest as he pushes himself up off of your lap, looking at you with a pleading that nearly has you melting on the spot. But you hold out, instead crossing your arms because there’s no way you’re going to allow yourself to go through this without support.
Not when you’re still reeling from a fucking kiss.
“Please, ____,” Caleb says. His eyes turn down and you move your vision up to your cracked ceiling, wishing for something from the Deepspace Tunnel to smite you down so that you don’t have to see him turn golden retriever on you. “Gideon and Patrick already got invites from Mei and she said she wants you there, too. We called in our leave and we can just relax and I just need you there, star. Please.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Xia.” It’s a sure statement, and you see the way his face falls slightly. Still, you continue because there’s no way this wedding trip won’t end in disaster. “I didn’t even get a proper invitation anyways. Wouldn’t I be intruding on it? If the three of you got invited, it should be you three to go.”
His dejection smooths out slightly, and he looks at you in muted surprise as he directs you to look at the envelope once again. “Did you not see the back, ____?”
Your eyes wander to the envelope in your hands, seeing the “Captain Caleb Xia + One Additional Guest” printed in a neat script on the back.
Shit, your plan is falling apart and it didn’t even fully come to fruition yet.
“I don’t think our officers will say yes to all of us leaving at the same time-”
“They already approved the time off, ____.” Caleb’s face goes from dejected to slightly amused when he sees the way your eyes widen, words suddenly floundering as you register that he’s about to get you hook line and sinker into his insane plan.
“W-what?! They would never-”
“Already did. If that was what you were worried about, I already took care of it for you.” By now he’s smiling, slight indents on the side of his cheeks as you roll your eyes at him. He reaches over tentatively and your breath catches when you allow him to tilt your chin to look up at him. You’re cursing him in your head though - damn Caleb Xia and his beautiful amethyst eyes you would do almost anything for.
But then you think about the kiss, how you’re still reeling from his mouth on yours in the dim light of a bar you’re sure you can’t physically enter anymore. The memory entrances and haunts you all of the same, and you find yourself slipping as you say, “The kiss?”
Caleb stills.
Your eyes avoid him as you play with your sweatshirt, not wanting to see him and his sudden rejection of you going to this wedding. It’s for the best, you think somberly as he mulls over his options.
It’ll be no good for the two of you if you agree to go to this godforsaken wedding.
“I promise I won’t touch you, ____.”
Your eyes look up in bewilderment, suddenly shocked as you look at his rapidly pinkening face. He sheepishly scratches at the back of his head at your surprise. “We can put the kiss behind us, too. We don’t have to speak about it.”
“Oh.”
The thing is, you don’t want to forget your kiss with Caleb Xia. You don’t want to forget the way his breath washed over your face as you kissed him with increasing fervor, how the planes of his abdomen felt against the softness of your breasts, and how intoxicated he looked off of the taste of you.
You don’t want to forget how enamored he was by you, even if it was only for a moment.
But then you think about this impossible situation. You think about how you're about to be stuck with Caleb, your basically big brothers in the form of Gideon and Patrick, and Caleb’s extended family for a wedding you didn’t even know was happening until just now, in Linkon City of all places. You think of how things could easily fall apart between the two of you while you’re there, and is this really worth it? Is always being there for Caleb worth it?
Is any of this worth it, ____?
“Please, ____.”
There’s your breaking point.
“Yes,” you reply - practically signing the release to your ruin.
It’s almost worth it, though, when you see the way his smile overtakes his face.
The trip to Linkon City is…blissfully uneventful.
At least, it starts that way.
You and the three pilots you’re responsible for arrive at the airport bright and early to beat security lines and potentially get a light breakfast to eat. For three men who navigate the skies with general ease, they have a hard time navigating their way to a food court and your plane’s gate, so it’s up to you to split the four of you into groups of two - one to get food, one to find the boarding gate.
And since you’re responsible for team management…
“All right, Gideon can go with Caleb to find food while Patrick and I find our gate. Once you have food, we’ll come find you and take you to the waiting area.” Your voice is clipped and concise, and the three of them don’t have any arguments since they’re too sleepy to fight back. Gideon punches Caleb’s shoulder and nods his head to the direction of the food court as you flick your gaze to Patrick, pointing to where the numbered gates are.
It’s a peaceful silence as you and Patrick scan the numbers, and you sigh in relief when you see your gate and your flight’s designated number. You sink into the stiff cushions of the gate, ready to scroll through your Moments page for any fun event updates happening during Linkon City-
“-when did you start having a thing for Caleb?”
Well, that’s certainly one way to break your stupor.
“I don’t know what you mean, Patrick.” You’re as cool as a cucumber while you continue to scroll through your Moments page, having vowed to keep you shit together to ensure that this trip goes as smoothly as possible. But your hands betray your nerves - slightly shaky, finger tapping against the back of your phone erratically as you fight to keep your gaze on your screen.
Your eyes flick up to Patrick’s face, and he has his signature knowing smile that has you groaning.
Of course Patrick susses you out even with your cool facade. Out of the three of them, he’s always the one to analyze and bide his time, gathering intel before striking.
You just so happen to be the next target he wants to crack.
“Gideon slipped up telling me some things,” he discloses quietly, and you make a mental note to strangle Gideon the next time you see him as Patrick continues his musings. “But you and Caleb have always had an unspoken bond…when did that start?”
You look at Patrick’s face, trying to gauge him and his thoughts as you decide how much you want to disclose to him. He’s still looking at you with that infuriatingly patient look of his, simply waiting for you to go at your pace.
“We were both barely legal enough when we joined the Academy.”
“I know that much, ____-”
“No, Patrick,” you say forcefully. “We were barely eighteen, diving headfirst into the Academy so we could build ourselves up to be better. You above all people know that the program is ruthless, and after we got paired for flight sims with him as the pilot and me as his systems operations one-on-one, we just…stuck together.”
“So why not tell him that? Why not tell him the feelings you have for him?”
You hesitate at his words, hands floundering as you try to put into words why you can’t tell Caleb everything you feel for Patrick to understand. If you had been able to do it, you would have a long time ago.
But then you see it - the way he gets protective when he mentions Meilin, swearing how he’ll always put her and his Gran first so that they could be comfortable - even before him and his own wants and desires.
How he’ll never look at another for as long as he’s supporting them.
You don’t feel any sort of bitterness and anger, just…quiet resolve. Maybe a little bit of appreciation. Caleb Xia’s many things, and a dedicated man to those he cares for the most is at the top of that list. And that’s something you could never hate about him-
-it’s the thing you love the most about him, his undying devotion.
It’s just that you know it will never be directed towards you.
“Because he has people at home and he can realistically pick any girl he wants. I’m just…me. I don’t really speak to my family right now and I’ve never been anyone’s first choice. I don’t think anyone in their right mind would choose me.”
“And how do you know that, ____?” Patrick’s voice is gentle, devoid of condescension as he bumps your shoulder with his. “I think you should talk to Caleb, ____. You might be surprised with what he has to say.”
“No.” It’s a little too forceful coming from your throat, and you straighten your spine when you see Caleb and Gideon walk towards the two of you with a brown paper bag. You avert your eyes and duck your head down, murmuring, “I’m here to support Caleb and to witness a wedding. I’ll do what I need to do and bury my feelings into the ground.”
With your final vow you stand, moving your carry-on so that you can settle next to an outlet and ignore the three of them. You miss the way Caleb’s eyes lingers on you as you scroll through Moments, and the way Gideon and Patrick share an unspoken look at Caleb’s intense gaze on you.
But they (very thankfully) do not bother you until it's time to board, the only interruption to your doom-scrolling being your favorite croissant sandwich Caleb settles beside you with an unspoken word. And you’re thankful, because you don’t think you can properly look at him and the devastating slope of his nose in the rising sun’s golden glow.
As you settle next to Gideon on the plane, you give him a halfhearted chop to the throat. He lets out an unholy squawk at your muted violence, clutching his neck as he looks at you in a scandalized manner.
“What the fuck was that for, ____?!”
All you need to do is glare at him and he shrinks back into his seat, avoiding the heat of your stare as he suddenly fiddles with the seat in front of him in rapt fascination.
You sigh.
You’re barely on the plane, and you’ve already experienced developments to this situation that’s turning this trip into a train wreck of a romantic comedy at this point. You turn your head up to the vague direction of the Deepspace Tunnel as the plane begins to taxi and you think to yourself:
Please give me a mission so I can get out of this stupid romcom I put myself into.
“Caaaaaaleb!!!”
There’s a loud squeal when you and your squad finally make it out to the arrivals area and you see a head of long and glossy hair run up to your group, jumping up and hugging Caleb tightly. Caleb’s quick to catch Meilin, chuckling as he spins her around and whispers something frantically in her ear.
Behind Meilin is a silver-y blond man with bright blue irises, halfheartedly holding a sign that says Skyhaven Squad Pickup. You see his eyes flash with something possessive when Caleb pats Meilin’s back gently, but his posture quickly relaxes when Meilin lets go and runs to you instead.
Ah, that must be Xavier, you think to yourself, before a quiet oof escapes your mouth from the velocity in which Meilin runs into you.
“It’s! So! Nice! To! See! You! Again!” Each word is punctuated with an aggressive sway of your body as she rocks you back and forth in her hug. You remind yourself that Meilin doesn’t know about your feelings and that she’s done no wrong, and it makes it easier for you to relax as you wrap your arms around and reciprocate her warmth.
Besides, her enthusiasm’s infectious.
The hugs she shares with Gideon and Patrick have the same energy, and they also laugh and tousle her hair as they hug her back. It’s a chaotic shuffle to get to the van Meilin and Xavier rented to pick the four of you up, but Caleb’s quick to take the key from Meilin while shuffling into the front seat. Gideon and Patrick’s eyes sparkle at you as they get into the back, leaving Meilin and Xavier in the middle row and you standing awkwardly by the passenger door.
“Get in, ____!” You shoot Patrick a death glare at his cheeky wink, yanking the door open and sliding yourself into the seat. You ignore Caleb’s heated stare on the side of your face as you buckle yourself in, going onto the navigation app and turning your head back to the four people in the back of the car.
“What are the plans today? Where are we going?” Your pragmatic self comes back out, drowning out your anxiety as you input routes and search the nearest restaurants so that you can all eat together.
“We’re heading to the Bloomshore District! Caleb should know the way-”
“Got it,” Caleb says smoothly. He’s quick to pull out of the parking spot, easily transitioning into the busy traffic of Linkon City. The silence never abates, though - Meilin, Patrick, and Gideon talk animatedly about the wedding as Xavier hums along in response while you and Caleb continue to not look at each other as you wordlessly hold your phone out to help him navigate.
“Gran got reservations at a really nice hotpot restaurant before we take you to your accommodation!” Meilin’s rambling as she fills you in on all of the plans, her chatter a nice companion to the soft music from the playlist you put on before the drive started. “Actually, do you guys have clothes for the wedding? We allocated a budget for that too-”
“We have tuxes already, Mei,” Patrick says. But his eyes turn mischievous as he points at you, shaking his head. “Miss Serious over there doesn’t have a dress though-”
“Shut up, Patrick-” You seethe, but you hastily put on a smile as you shake your head and hold your hands out to stop Meilin’s train of thought. “It’s okay Mei! I’ll find something suitable in our time off! I saved for it too-”
“Nonsense, ____!” Meilin sounds offended at the remote thought of you refusing her and her ability to pay for your dress to her wedding. “We’ll go shopping together, after some of the wedding events! We also have gift bags and jerseys for the basketball game that’s happening next weekend-”
“Mei, there’s a basketball game? Seriously?”
The car comes to an abrupt stop, half from the sudden yellow and half from Caleb’s shock. He turns back briefly to look at her in disbelief, shaking his head. “There’s no way you organized a wedding basketball game, Mei.”
“Yes I did, Caleb! You’ll be competing, by the way!” Meilin’s tone is sing-song as she continues on with the subject. “We need an opposing team! Xav, his best man, and one of our friends from the Association will be competing on one team, and you, Gideon, and Patrick can be on the other-”
“You didn’t even tell us, pips!” Caleb’s voice is hot as his fingers clench the steering wheel while he starts the car once more, merging onto the road that leads to the Bloomshore District. “I would have appreciated a little heads up so we could train-”
“We don’t need to train for a basketball game, Caleb,” Gideon says. “We can easily beat the Association team’s ass, right ____?”
“Umm-”
“I still would have appreciated some sort of warning,” Caleb unceremoniously cuts you off, making you roll your eyes as you sit back and listen to the bickering happening. “Springing this on us all of a sudden is a little bit much, pipsqueak. And you’re wanting to do this too, Xavier?”
Xavier shrugs, but his eyes flash with a challenge as he regards him with a small smirk on his face. “Why not? And why are you so apprehensive about it? You scared you’ll lose, Xia?”
Caleb prickles in his seat, jaw ticking dangerously as he processes Xavier’s unspoken challenge. You shake your head at the chaos around you and, despite the lingering awkwardness from your avoidance earlier in the morning, run a soothing hand over his arm, pressing your fingers against his wrist to help him calm down. You feel Caleb relax under your touch, and he sighs heavily to himself before letting his right hand grab your fingers and squeezing them tightly, returning your hand back to your lap gently and refocusing onto the road in front of him.
The action is quick, but you miss the way Xavier’s lips curl up in a quick smirk as Meilin’s eyes sparkle at the unspoken movement.
“Pipsqueak, no way.” Caleb’s protest isn’t as heated, but his fingers still clench the steering wheel as he drives into a parking lot. “I told you I’m retired-”
“And I’m bringing you out of retirement since I need a representative!” Meilin pouts at him, and you very well see his resignation and acceptance on his face as he pulls into a parking spot. “I’ll be rooting for Xav but Caleb, we really need an opposing team!”
The car rolls to a stop in front of a restaurant, and Caleb kills the engine before turning his body and staring back at Gideon and Patrick with an unspoken intensity you assume only the three of them know. “You two were in on this, huh?”
Patrick only shoots him a cheeky wink. “It’s been a while since we’ve played basketball, Captain Xia. It’ll be fun! Think of the glory!”
You see the exact moment Caleb cracks: the mention of winning. You’ve seen his extreme competitiveness first hand, and from the way Meilin talks about him playing basketball back in the day, he surely must have been even more so back then? Caleb looks at you pleadingly but you simply smile as you open the door.
“I think you’ll be good at it, Caleb.” Your voice is soft as you hop out of the car, stretching slightly. “Why not?”
You walk a couple of paces in front of you so you can get rid of the kinks in your body, trying to relax the tension you feel. But you hear the resounding cheer behind you in the car and you shake your head slightly with a light laugh, knowing he’s agreed to the basketball game.
One by one they get out of the car, eagerly filing into the restaurant where Meilin and Caleb’s gran is waiting for your group. Caleb pauses when he sees you moving back to the car, about to walk to you. Meilin stops him though, pulling him down and whispering something in his ear before he sighs and nods. As you lean against the car and breathe in deeply, you see Meilin and Xavier talking quietly to each other before Xavier nods, quickly jogging back and standing next to you as Meilin smiles in your direction before going into the restaurant.
There’s a companionable silence as Xavier waits for you to get ready, the two of your similar dispositions allowing for quiet to be comfortable instead of awkward. You simply nod to Xavier and you both walk to the restaurant. The smell of hotpot is so close you can taste it-
“Have you always had a thing for Caleb, ____?” Xavier’s voice is soft yet probing as he walks beside you. You turn to look at him in disbelief but he simply smiles, pointing at his eyes and then your hand as if that answers your question. “Saw what you did in the car.”
“Oh, come on.” You groan, shaking your head as the two of you approach the front doors. “I don’t need your interrogation too, Xavier. We barely just met, can you ignore whatever you saw? Caleb doesn’t need to know-”
“So you do have feelings for him.” There’s a subtle smirk on his mouth as he gestures for you to enter the hot pot restaurant, and you bristle at having slipped once again.
“I’m going to eat!” Your frustration gets the best of you and you march through the door in front of you so that you can finally eat after this hellscape of a morning. All the while, you hear Xavier’s soft laughter behind you, making you tempted to hold your middle finger up for him to see. You decide against it, though, on account that he’s the fucking groom of the wedding you’re about to attend.
God, you’re not going to make it.
You successfully barricade yourself in your room under the pretense of work for three whole days before Patrick finally manages to drag you out of your self-imposed prison.
“Getting our higher ups to agree to our squad getting a three week break at the same time was near impossible, ____.” His voice has the edge of a disappointed father and you sheepishly duck your head as you pack your bag to go out. “Knowing you, you’ve completed everything flawlessly so I’m dragging you out and you cannot stop me.”
“Yeah yeah yeah,” you grumble softly, but you still give him an appreciative nod as you make your way out of the room. “What does Mei have planned for us tonight?”
There’s an air of hesitation as the two of you walk to the first floor of your accommodation, Patrick tight lipped as you pick up the shoes you’re going to wear. You turn your head when Patrick doesn’t respond, quirking an eyebrow at him in confusion.
“Just get in the car, ____.”
“Fine,” you mutter back, quickly sliding on your shoes and smoothing out the skirt and sweater you decided to wear before walking out, letting him lock the door behind you.
You scan the driveway, looking for Meilin’s personal car as you approach the rental vehicle sitting by the street. Usually everyone would be in their unassigned assigned seat by now, but you feel surprise brewing in the pit of your stomach when you realize that you don’t see Meilin and Xavier in the car - it’s just Caleb waiting by the middle seat as Gideon drums his fingers against the steering wheel.
“Are Meilin and Xavier not joining us?” You’re curious as Patrick slides himself into the passenger seat, sidestepping Caleb’s waiting hand and pulling yourself into the middle seat. “Or are they going to meet us wherever we’re going?”
Gideon looks back at you with a mysterious smile on his face. “Just wait, ____.”
Your focus is solely on the flashing lights that pass by as you drive through traffic and different parts of Linkon City, entranced by the different types of architecture and neighborhoods that flash by. After spending most of your years in Skyhaven, you’ve gotten comfortable with the scenery. Everything feels new here, and you almost feel bad for cooping yourself up in your room for the past couple of days.
But then you look back and barely catch the way Caleb’s eyes linger on you before he turns his head to his own window, and you sigh minutely to yourself as you twiddle your thumbs and avoid scrolling on Moments like a disinterested teenage daughter.
“We’re here!”
Gideon’s voice is cheerful, oblivious to the awkwardness you and Caleb share as he kills the engine and opens his door. You’re quick to open your own door and slide out, rolling your ankles slightly before looking at your surroundings.
A little bit of a ways away, you can see lanterns strung in the air, swaying gently in the cool summer air above the numerous stalls on the street. There’s an aroma of grilled meat and candied sweetness that blends together nicely as you turn back to them, eyes sparkling at the realization. “A night market?”
“Mhm.” Patrick practically looks like a proud father as he takes your arm, pulling you in the direction of the bustle with little resistance as Gideon and Caleb follow behind you. “Found one while searching through Moments so we figured why not?”
Your awe continues as your group dives into the chaos, Gideon already ordering skewers as Patrick gets his hands on some pan fried baos. The air is comfortable amongst the four of you as you split the food and taste everything the market has to offer, and you feel yourself loosening up with every laugh and elbow jostled.
It’s enough to get you to look at Caleb fully since this trip’s started.
The four of you continue on, trying anything and everything that looks remotely delicious or fascinating. The best thing about having three pilots is that they have large appetites, so none of the food goes to waste as they continuously tuck in.
Soon though, you unanimously decide to wander around the stalls laden with various goods and trinkets. You’re so engrossed in some dresses that you don’t register Gideon and Patrick walking away with a knowing look in Caleb’s direction, leaving Caleb with his hands in his pockets as he waits for your realization to hit you.
But when you turn to look at him, you simply smile as you beckon to another direction. “Wanna keep walking? There must be way more over there!”
“I- yeah,” he concedes. Your eyes narrow at his hesitation but you decide to brush past it, simply grabbing his arm and pulling him along the rows of stalls.
In these situations, your different personalities really shine. Caleb wants to dart back and forth to different stalls but you take your time, going up to a stall if something catches your eye and picking up items to feel their weight before continuing on. Caleb never rushes you, though - he watches and waits, holding anything in your hands if you want to feel something before taking your arm and gently guiding you through the throng of people to stalls he knows you’ll like.
The shared energy is amiable, silence comfortable as you let your eyes wander over Caleb’s frame. You’d be an idiot to not acknowledge how good he looks in the hazy lights provided by the lanterns, the gentle glow making him look softer as he scopes out your next location. The sleeveless shirt shows off the way his arms ripple as he reaches for you, helping you through a fast moving crowd and guiding you towards an assuming corner. If you gave in, you could almost imagine this as a date between the two of you, but the taste in your mouth turns sour because it most definitely is not.
“How’s your Gran?”
It slips off of your tongue as the two of you finally make it into a less busy part of the market, the stalls lining this street dedicated to craftsmanship. You stop in front of a live artist painting little chibis of people, and you examine their work as Caleb mulls over the question.
“She’s good.” His tone is softly tinged with tiredness as he moves to stand next to you, examining the drawing you’re currently focused on. “Her, Mei, and I went out to lunch and they took me to a fitting for a tux since they wanted me to walk with them down the aisle. I also went to a suit fitting before the tea ceremony tomorrow for Mei and Xavier.” Caleb turns his gaze to you, and you still slightly as he scans your visage. “Will you be coming?”
“Tea ceremonies are usually for immediate families and close friends.” It’s firm as you move down to another booth, this time with jade carvings. “I have their gift prepared for them, though. You’ll give it to them, right?”
“____.” Caleb tries to get your attention by grabbing at your arm, but you simply shrug him off as you peer closer at the intricate jade pieces in front of you. “You’re my guest, you should come-”
“I have DAA work to complete.” You decide that jade is not your favorite as you move to the next stall, your interest piquing when you see charms of all shapes and sizes in little wooden boxes. You lift one in the shape of a chubby star into your palm, tracing the smooth metal and the little yellow gem inlaid in the center.
A finger plucks the charm from your hand and your scowl rivals Caleb’s frown as he gently places it back into the box, eyes lingering on the little star before returning his attention to you. His hand grabs at yours and he pulls you into a shadowy corner, crossing his arms and blocking your path to escape. “Are you good, ____?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?” You can feel the tension between the two of you, simmering since you boarded the plane a couple of days ago. You realize now you must be like a petulant child, avoiding not just Caleb but Gideon and Patrick and you soften, deciding to maintain the peace for their sake. “This trip is about Meilin and Xavier, ____. I wasn’t even formally invited so I’m just…making sure the trip is enjoyable for you.”
“What would make this trip more enjoyable is if I had my friend going out as well, star.” It’s a quiet confession, and he reaches up as if he wants to touch your face before shaking his head and letting his hand fall. “I want you to have fun too, ____.”
“I am!” You try to insist on it, but even you find your words falling flat as you think of something. “Hotpot was great, and then…”
“And then you locked yourself in your room for three days to avoid me.” Caleb’s voice is deadpan, but you can still see a flare of hurt at the words he utters. “____, I told you I would make sure you were comfortable. Are you not?”
“I am,” you try to insist on it, but it falls flat. Frustration begins to eat at your mind and you feel a small corner of your brain panic at the situation beginning to spin out of control. This is the last thing you wanted - for an argument to break out. Your hands reach up, rubbing all over your tired face as you think of the facts right now.
The thing is, you’re having fun right now. The three of them dragging you out has done wonders for you, and you’ve already so much of what you’ve wanted the past few hours. You want to go to all of the little events Meilin has planned, scream as much as you want at the upcoming basketball game coming up.
But your feelings are stopping you. The crippling fear of accidentally spilling your love for him is making your head spin, and it’s mixed with the desire of wanting to spend time with him so much that you can’t find an out in this situation. You’re stuck between a rock and a hard place and you don’t know what to do which terrifies you because you’re always supposed to know what to do.
Hands cup your face, thumbs rubbing the temples of your head as you allow yourself to sink closer to Caleb’s comforting space. “Hey, ____…”
“I want to have fun, trust me Xia.” It’s raw, even with no tears as you try to stop the spinning of your head. “I just don’t want to get in between you and Meilin spending time together, you know? She’s your best friend and you guys still have a lot to talk about and why she didn’t tell you she was getting married in the first place-”
“-it’s fine, ____. I’ll talk to her soon, I just want you to enjoy yourself too.”
Silence descends between the two of you as you slow your breathing, letting the cool air bring you back to the present. You try to untangle yourself from his arms but he stops you, simply pressing his palms into your face as he guides you to look up at him.
“What if we just pretend, star?”
“What?”
It’s a shocked whisper as your eyes widen, lip quivering as you look at his steadfast expression. There’s no hesitation on his face, only assurance as he moves his arms to wrap you in his embrace.
“Let’s just pretend nothing happened between us, okay? We’re just Caleb and ____, on vacation with our friends. We’re going to have a good time and it’s just you and I, okay?”
You slowly step back, eyes wild as you scan his face for any sort of hesitation on end. There’s nothing, though - only determination to make things somewhat more comfortable for you so that you can enjoy yourself too.
“Is that a good idea, Caleb?”
Your voice trembles because you don’t think you can pretend, not when your feelings are threatening to spill out of your mouth every couple of seconds. If you thought you wouldn’t make it out when the trip started, there’s almost no guarantee you’ll make it out of the trip unscathed if he’s asking you to pretend with him.
“I won’t do anything to make you uncomfortable, like I said.” It’s a promise on his end that you know he’ll keep, but it’s practically useless because that’s not the issue at all - the issue is that you’re so deeply in love with him that you’re beginning to think that this is your only option. “Can we try, ____?”
“What does pretending even entail, Xia?” There’s a bite in your tone as you cross your arms, looking up at his confidence. “How are we going to go about this pretending that you’re so sure of?”
Caleb senses your apprehension, and his eyes soften as he regards your face with nothing but sincerity. “Nothing happened between us, ____. No kiss, no anything. We’re just two friends who are on vacation, spending time together.”
“And this will work because-”
“-because it will remove the pressure and tension from you.” Caleb finishes your musings with a soft smile, and you almost feel yourself getting ready to go along with it because he sounds so sure about this going okay. “We’re just two…friends, star. We’re enjoying a vacation.”
“And you don’t see this ending in disaster, Xia?” You have to admit, it sounds pretty viable coming out of his mouth. There’s a little part of you that’s still hesitant, but you’re mostly curious to see what pretending means to him.
“Not at all, ____.” His tone is smooth, but his eyes are sincere as he reaches up to gently pinch at your cheek. You scowl and bat his hand away, but you can’t stop the small grin forming on your face at his teasing. “Not when I get to spend time with you.”
“Okay.”
The word slips out of your mouth before you’re even sure of what you said, but Caleb hears it all the same as a smile spreads across his face - making him look even more devastatingly handsome under the gentle glow of the lanterns above the two of you.
Oh, ____- you’re so screwed.
The day of the basketball game arrives with nerves.
Sure, you’re excited for the game to start, but it’s harder to feel that when you’re nervous about how the day will go. Not even if Caleb, Gideon, and Patrick lose - no, you’re scared because how are you going to continue pretending?
“What’s got you so nervous, ____?” Meilin’s sitting next to you, wearing a headband that has little heart cutouts of Xavier’s face that’s paired with her jersey that has his last name on the back. She looks down at the simple romper you pulled on, lips jutting out in a pout as she looks up at you with sad eyes. “And why didn’t you wear the extra jersey Caleb had?”
You eye Meilin, suspicion in your veins as you try to gauge how truthful she’s being. “I didn’t see an extra jersey, and Caleb was already wearing it when he went downstairs.”
“Damn,” she mumbles softly to herself, and you look at her in confusion before her slightly frustrated expression smooths out. Her smile peeks back out, and she elbows you friendly as you tentatively smile at her back. “How’re you liking Linkon City? Did you do anything fun?”
You nod as you focus back on the teams on the basketball court, Xavier and Caleb approaching the half court line to decide who has the ball first. After a lot of back and forth Caleb concedes the ball to Xavier, turning back with practiced ease as Xavier bristles slightly. The whistle sounds and the game begins with Meilin snorting beside you at the competition brewing.
“I knew they would be like this,” she says to you softly over the cheer of the wedding crowd. Xavier sinks a shot and points to Meilin, blowing her a kiss in her direction before tripping over his feet. You watch as Meilin’s cheeks bulge the tiniest bit, holding in her laughter even when she blows a kiss back.
“Oh God don’t laugh Mei,” she chants to herself but you elbow her, making a quick giggle escape from her lips.
“Stop, ____,” she hisses, but you merely smile devilishly sweet at her as you clap when Patrick makes a good throw into the basket.
For how competitive he is, Caleb is completely relaxed as he dribbles the ball before passing it to Gideon. You try not to focus on the way his sweat makes his body shine or how good he looks in his basketball jersey - a purple that matches his eyes with his last name emblazoned on his back. You swear he must feel your stare, though, because his eyes catch yours when he has the ball.
He dribbles the ball casually as he approaches the hoop, and Meilin elbows you back as she preens like a peacock. “Oh my God, ____, he’s about to show off-”
Your body flushes when he points directly at you, giving a small wink and smirk in your direction before focusing back on the hoop. The ball sails towards its goal-
-only to miss entirely.
You burst into laughter when you see Caleb’s sheepish expression, hysterical to the point of tears at his cheesy attempt gone wrong. Meilin laughs alongside you, and you both have to clutch at each other as you both attempt to stifle your giggles while the game continues.
“Oh my God he looked so stupid-” you gasp, tears streaming down your face as another peal of laughter bubbles from your lips. “I don’t claim any of that by the way, Meilin.”
“At least Caleb can sometimes shoot properly!” Meilin’s catching her breath, eyes bright as you both shake your heads. “Xav nearly tripped over his own two feet a couple of attempts back and I felt something die in my chest-”
“Oh God,” you gasp, before the two of you burst out into peals of laughter once more.
For how much the two of you laugh at Caleb and Xavier, you have to admit that this game is surprisingly close. You’ve always known Caleb to be a powerhouse in whatever he does - physically adept and capable in anything he does with his competitive edge powering him to the end. But Xavier is more lithe, biding his time and waiting for an open before jumping up and sinking in neat three-pointers that has Caleb, Gideon, and Patrick gritting their teeth in frustration. You and Meilin feel the competitive spirit rising and you participate, goading and cheering them on as they trade shots back and forth.
Soon enough, it’s the last couple of seconds in a tied game. Caleb has the ball and his eyes are ultra-focused on his goal in front of him as he neatly maneuvers around Jeremiah and jumps up, aiming the ball towards the hoop with a flick of his wrist. Time seems to slow as the clock approaches zero…
Swoosh.
The basketball lands neatly in the hoop as the buzzer strikes, and the crowd cheers as Caleb pumps his fist in the air. The crowd of wedding-goers break out in enthusiastic chaos - snacks thrown all around as everyone shouts for Caleb’s winning shot. You can’t help but cheer alongside everyone else when you see Gideon and Patrick roar while lifting him up over their heads, jostling him up and down to parade him around the courtside so everyone can cheer him on. From the corner of your eye you see Meilin run up to Xavier before beaming up at him even when he pouts at his defeat, pressing a soft kiss against his cheek as he wraps her in his arms. Your eyes dart back to Caleb, wondering how he’s going to react to this scene-
-but his bright eyes and the massive smile spreading across his face are solely on you.
He hops off of Gideon and Patrick’s shoulders, running to where you stand on the courtside. His hands twitch with adrenaline and restlessness, going from swiping at the sweat on his forehead to the hem of his jersey before finally cradling your face in his palms and plopping a wet kiss onto your forehead.
“Gross, Xia!” You’re laughing, though, a giddy feeling blossoming and spreading throughout your entire body as Caleb picks you up and spins you around. Your arms wrap around his neck, head buried against his throat as you screech and mark this memory down for you and you only.
Once he plops you back down you sway a little bit, waiting for your head to settle from the dizziness as he looks down at you with a quirk in the corner of his mouth. He lifts the hem of his jersey and uses the thin fabric to wipe at the sweat on his face with deliberate movements, and you fight to keep your mouth shut at the sight of his glistening abs above his low lying shorts, accompanied with the band of his boxer briefs peeking above the waistband.
He’s trying to kill you, you’re sure of it.
The happiness gives way to a heat burning you alive when he flashes you a wink, lifting his arms and pulling his jersey over his head by the back collar. He rubs his face against the fabric and your mouth dries at the sight of his chest heaving slightly with his breathlessness, biceps tensing and flexing as he moves the jersey to the back of his ruffled hair-
You need to leave, like right now.
You make a move to turn around but Caleb’s even quicker, hooking his pointer figure around the strap of your romper as he pulls you into his chest. You squeak at the sudden contact, his sweaty body pressed up against your shaking frame as you fight the moan that threatens to slip from your mouth at his easy dominance.
Fuck, everything about this is so hot - you shouldn’t be thinking like this.
“Everyone’s looking.”
His lips brush by your neck. “I don’t care.”
You gasp and feel Caleb’s responding smile by your neck as he settles his hands on your waist, spinning you around so you’re back to facing him in his sweaty, Adonis-like glory. His eyes dart from the jersey still in his hand to your face, expression flickering with mischief and something more before he makes up his mind, unfurling his jersey from his hands and positioning the opening above your head.
“Caleb-”
“Wear it, star.” His smirk softens into something smaller as he pulls his crumpled jersey over your head, surrounding you with the addictive scent of his sweat and a faint trace of the apple cologne he always wears. “It looks better on you, anyways.”
He grabs your hand and does a little twirl, making you miss the way his eyes darken when he sees XIA across your back - his name on you. But when you turn back around, his easy smile is on his face once more as he brushes a kiss against your knuckles before elbowing you playfully.
“You being courtside helped me win, by the way.”
You roll your eyes, elbowing him back even when his words make you glow like the sun. “I highly doubt that, Xia.”
“It’s true, ____.” He’s insistent, eyes softening when he hears your scoff. “You’re my northern star guiding me home-”
“-my callsign still isn’t Star-”
“Yeah, well,” he cuts you off, and he wraps his arms around your waist to pull you in, forcing you to look up at him as your hands land on his slightly sweaty chest. “You’re still my star. And more than that, you’re my lucky charm.”
“And why is that, Captain Apple?” Your voice takes on a note of teasing, one that has his chest rumbling as he laughs against you. His chin rests on the top of your head as he contemplates his answer, fingers following the X I A across your back and making you weak in the knees all over again.
“Because when I’m with you, I always feel like I’m on top of the world. I’m able to push farther, explore more, achieve more because of you and your voice supporting me and being there for me.”
His words render you speechless and you look up at him incredulously, trying to gauge if he truly means it or if it’s just him continuing on with his playing pretend. But all you see is the same look of awe and yearning on his face.
The same look he’s had since he saw you after his game-winning shot.
“Caleb, are you pretending right now?”
It’s a complete juxtaposition from the celebratory mood, and you see the way his eyes dims as he processes your words. His mouth opens and he begins, “____-”
“____!”
Your eyes widen at the sound of Meilin’s voice, all but pushing her childhood best friend away from you as you move to smooth the goosebumps down from your arms. Your hands go to the hem of the jersey still on you, about to pull it off but a hand on the fabric stops you. You follow the arm, up past a gleaming silver necklace resting on an unevenly rising chest before landing on Caleb’s eyes once more.
His stormy, turbulent eyes.
“Keep it on. Please.”
And with the way his voice breaks on the last word you can’t help but loosen your hold on his jersey, instead smoothing the wrinkles on the fabric away as you turn to look at Meilin - who’s looking at you with a sparkle of knowing in her eyes.
Oh, you’re about to be in so much trouble-
“You’re so brave for having stinky Caleb’s sweaty jersey on, ____!” It's a playful chirp and you relax only slightly as she reaches towards you and links her arm around yours, sure that she’s not upset with you. “But enough of Caleb, I’m not taking no for an answer! I’m helping you find a dress for the wedding!”
“Wh-what?” You try to pull away, but Meilin isn’t having any of your protests as she drags you to where the rest of her bridesmaids sit. One of them (you believe her name is Tara) cheers when she sees you approaching, prompting the rest of the bridesmaids to cheer alongside her as they see your visage.
“You’ve been taking care of Caleb when we haven’t been able to, treating him with exceptional warmth.” Meilin’s voice is a soft whisper and she reaches down to squeeze your hand reassuringly as you process her words. “Gran and I agreed that it’s the least we can do for you.”
“Meilin, that’s too much-”
“No buts!” She declares as you finally stand in front of her bridesmaids. “Ladies! I'm going shopping with this hottie next week!”
You feel your body warm with shyness as they begin their gushing over you, but you can’t help but laugh at their antics while you let Meilin and her bridesmaids drag you away. You tilt your head back to look at him as they begin discussing the colors that would work best for your dress and your complexion, your heels and backup shoes, your purse-
Caleb watches as the jersey emblazoned with XIA disappears in the sea of people, feeling a twinge of…something light when he sees the way your eyes sparkle as you tilt your head back to laugh even harder. The evening sun bathes your body in an angelic glow, making the words unspoken thrum in his heart as he feels himself melt at the sight of you so happy.
He wants to keep you like that.
He wants to be the reason you’re always happy.
Caleb feels a body bump into him, and he turns around to see Gideon and Patrick wiggling their eyebrows in thinly veiled suggestion as Patrick tosses him a baggy black shirt.
“What are you thinking about, Caleb?” Gideon’s teasing him, he knows, but he can’t be bothered to be annoyed as he pulls his shirt over his head.
“Nothing much,” he says back jovially. He picks up his bag easily, swinging the straps over his shoulders as he beckons to his two best friends. “Wanna get street food before going back to the accommodation?”
They nod and rush ahead of him but Caleb lingers, steps easy as he mulls the words he wanted to say to you. Words that he will say to you, in one way or another.
You’re the reason why I come back.
You’re what guides me home.
There’s a pleasant sleepiness overtaking your body as the clock strikes ten.
You’re changing into your comfiest sweats and an oversized shirt following an impromptu dinner with Meilin and her bridesmaids, gleeful exchanges of social media and numbers shared over grilled bar food and cocktails. There’s still a light hum from the alcohol in your veins, but it’s nothing too intense. It’s a steady thrum of warmth that makes you feel just a little bit looser and more open, but you know with a glass of water it will go away easily.
You eye your laptop, debating on whether or not you want to watch a movie to help you drift off to sleep. You think back to the movie you’re still enthralled with: of curses the female lead couldn’t speak about and flower fields and a romance you find yourself yearning for, especially now. You decide that it’s the best course of action for yourself, so you settle yourself into your bed with your laptop and pull the movie up.
You’re about to press start when there’s a knock on your door, interrupting your cozy time. A sigh escapes your lips at how you’ll have to retuck yourself into bed but you’re still pushing yourself out of your blanket fort, padding over softly to the door and pulling it open to see Caleb standing by the threshold with a sheepish expression on his face.
“Hi, ____.”
“You’re being really thorough with this pretending thing.” It’s deadpan but you still step aside just enough for Caleb to come inside, and you turn and lock the door behind him as he settles himself on the edge of the bed. He eyes the screen of your laptop as you wiggle yourself underneath your covers before spreading the comforter flat and patting the newly formed space next to you.
“Come on,” you murmur softly. “I know you want to watch the movie, too.”
You can’t quite hold back your smile when he settles himself comfortably and looks at the movie with thinly veiled interest.
“I saw this on your screen when I invited you to the wedding,” Caleb muses as you tap on your spacebar. The score sounds tinny coming out of your laptop’s small stereo system, but the two of you still settle back and watch with rapt interest. “Why this one?”
“You’ll see, now shush.”
His mouth falls silent at your insistence, but he still smiles to himself as he relents.
The silence is broken with the occasional comment or bit of laughter - mainly in the beginning, when Caleb scoffs at how the two main characters float through the air as the iconic score plays behind them. He turns to you, and you feel your breath catch at how…handsome he looks in this light. The colors wash over his face, bathing him in the splashes of color thanks to the animated scenes before you. You can see the intrigue he tries to hide by setting his mouth straight but his expressive eyes betray him: warm and with a sparkle as he examines the scenes playing out in front of him.
“This is the movie you’re obsessed with?” He’s trying to put on all of his bravado for show, but his breath catches when he sees the way they float majestically through the air.
“Yup,” you murmur back, resting your head on his shoulder.
He freezes for a second, processing the fact you’re resting on him - so warm and akin to a cat with the way you unconsciously rub your head against his shoulder. You return your attention to the movie, barely hiding your shiver when he plops his arm behind you so that you can burrow further into his body.
Somehow throughout the course of the movie, Caleb finds his way underneath the covers and tangles his legs in between yours, settling your laptop on his thighs so that you can curl up next to him comfortably. Your head is fully on his chest now, hands gripping his shirt lightly while he idly traces something on the back of your shirt. His overwhelming warmth and the pleasant sensation of him running his fingers lightly up and down your body has you slowly nodding off, and he takes notice of it as the movie comes to an end.
“Star, you okay?”
“‘m sleepy,” you mumble back, and you feel his chuckle rock your head as he pauses your laptop and closes it shut. He moves the device onto the floor and wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you close while you hum in sleepy contentment.
“Did you like the movie?” It comes out as a yawn from you, and you can feel your eyes water as they slowly begin to drift shut.
“I did, actually.” He brushes his fingers against your forehead, slowly pushing away your baby hairs as you subtly push your nose into his neck. “Reminded me why I do what I do at the DAA.”
That catches your attention, but you still keep your eyes shut as you mull over your next words. “What do you mean by that?”
“It reminds me that I do what I do for my family.”
“Hmm.” It’s a sleepy hum as silence befalls the two of you once more, but you’re more awake as you mull over Caleb’s words. His heart thrums erratically under your ear, and you swear it beats a little bit faster when your fingers brush against his chest as you move your hand closer to you.
“You really love them, huh?”
There’s no bitterness on your tone, only soft curiosity as Caleb stills underneath you. His hands stop their tracks, resting on your waist as he chooses his next words.
“I do.”
Caleb’s voice is raw with honesty, and he only waits a beat before he continues on. “I felt a lot of pressure making sure to provide for Meilin and Gran. You know Meilin and I were taken care of by Josephine when we were young, and she made me promise to always look after her. Sure, I was happy when I saw the invitation because I just want Meilin to be happy, and Xavier does. God, he does and I’m so happy about it. But…but a part of me will always feel the need to take care of them, if that makes sense. It’s been instilled with me for so long I don’t know what to do myself without it.”
“Caleb,” your voice is soft yet firm, gripping his shirt tighter as you fight the sleep that’s washing over your common sense. “Meilin and Josephine are already happy and cared for because of you and all of your hard work from the past couple of years. You deserve to have happiness of your own, too.”
You feel it then, even when you’re about to slip into sleep. The way his body stills, a shaky breath washing over the top of your head as he lets your words sink in.
It stays that way up until you finally succumb to sleep, too tired to process or even register that he hasn’t left - that’s he’s still cradling you to his chest as he mulls over your words and the moments the two of you have shared and avoided these past couple of months- years, even. But when you finally drift off to sleep, you swear you feel the soft brush of lips ghost lightly against your forehead, accompanied with a soft, “Good night, my star.”
You’re lighter, happier the days leading up to the wedding.
The days blur past you in an enthusiastic chaos, mornings spent exploring every nook and cranny of Linkon City interspersed with wedding party dinners you and Caleb are invited to until you reach the day of your dress fitting with Meilin.
She’s a chatty, effervescent bubble filled to the brim with fabric ideas paired with potential colors that suit your complexion while you sit on the chaise lounge by the dressing rooms, eyeing the glasses of champagne that seem too far out of reach for you to grab without seeming rude in her eyes.
So you sit, twisting your fingers against your skirt as you nod minutely.
“Do you have any ideas of what you want to wear, ____?”
You whip your head up to her, shaking your head profusely. “I- uh, as long as it’s not too expensive, I guess.”
She tuts at this, sitting down next to you while gesturing towards the dress racks. “Nonsense! Gran and I don’t have a budget. Here, we’ll look through all of the dresses and you can try them on for me one by one, okay?”
She doesn’t wait for your response, simply picking up a glass of champagne you had been eyeing earlier and handing it to you before clinking her own glass against it.
“To dresses and friendship!”
You barely get a sip before she’s pulling you off of the couch with her Hunter’s strength and guiding you through the boutique.
One by one you and Meilin collect dresses, handing them to attendants stationed around the room. Your mind is nowhere near focused on the frills and lace, though - no, you’re thinking about her relationship with a certain purple-eyed fighter pilot and Captain of the DAA.
“Meilin,” you begin tentatively, unsure of how to start. She simply hums as she pulls a hot pink tulle ball gown from the rack before wincing and shoving it back in. “What are your feelings towards Caleb?”
You expect her to go rigid but she laughs instead, the sound airy and full of good-natured humor as she turns to you with a soft smile on her face. “Best friend, older brother figure who I know I can always rely on. Also my personal chef and a little stinky but overall? He’s someone reliable and all around just a good person.” She fishes out a navy blue silk number and she looks at you with a critical eye before nodding once and leaving the dress with an attendant.
You try to go along casually but something still prickles at your skin. Why is Caleb still so protective over her after all of this time? And does Meilin see it? Your stare must have been a little too intense because she turns to look back at you before reaching out and lacing her fingers through your own.
“Caleb and I talked for a little while after you guys got home. He asked me why I didn’t tell him about the wedding and…I’m going to be honest, ____, I told him I knew he would flip out on me. He’s always been someone who protects me but I don’t need that anymore, I just want my best friend- you know?”
She releases her hand and the two of you continue to rifle through dresses. But you feel a little more confident, so it spills out of you:
“Did you and Caleb ever have feelings for each other?”
Meilin fake-gags at this, and you feel a sheepish look grow on your face at your possible question. Her expression smooths out, though and she shakes her head empathetically at you.
“I maaay have had a teensy little thing for Caleb when I was younger.” Meilin’s voice is soft as she brushes her fingers across a floor-length dress. She pulls it off of the rack and you still as you let her peer at you - allowing for her to visualize the color and embroidered flowers against your skin while she mulls over her next words.
Hey eyes snap up all of a sudden, and you feel goosebumps prickle at your skin at the sudden wisdom flickering in her eyes.
“But that’s all in the past, ____. I love Xavier with every fiber of my being. He’s my guiding force, the one I want to see at the end of my days. Caleb will always be my best friend and someone I want in my life forever, but Xavier…”
She sighs dreamily, handing you the hanger. Her fingers brush past yours, squeezing softly as she gives you a steadfast smile. “Xavier is the reason for my being.”
You squeeze her fingers back, letting the motion and melancholic look on your face speak the words that you don’t trust yourself to utter in the face of her genuine kindness. She tuts at your expression and squeezes your hand tighter, saying words that render you speechless:
“I think Caleb’s on track to picking someone close to his orbit…someone intelligent, dependable, and extremely beautiful. And I’ll be pushing for him to make a move soon, because quite frankly I’m getting tired of him waiting around.”
Her words shock you to your core, and you surprise the two of you when you let out a watery chuckle at her sweet statement. Meilin is gracious to turn around as the two of you begin to walk back to the dressing rooms, and you let yourself sniffle and process the fact that Meilin knows.
Not only that she knows, but that she wants the two of you to be together - that she thinks it’s the best thing.
So you let yourself feel a little bit lighter, allow yourself to feel hope blossom in your body as she drags you back to your dressing room with your numerous dresses in tow. The heavy feeling is gone and in its stead are two girls just having a fashion show in a mirrorless dressing room - Meilin squealing about your beauty with every dress you walk out of your dressing room, no matter how much it clashes with your complexion. You do feel pretty, but none of the dresses feel like you.
You sigh as you near the end of the pile, none of the dresses speaking to you. Meilin’s nonplussed though, simply pointing to the last dress she had placed in the pile. “I think that one might be the one, ____.”
You eye the numerous ties on the back of the dress as you take in the soft tulle and the little embroidered flowers scattered across the sweetheart neckline of the top. Your eyes flicker from Meilin’s hopeful face to the ties before sighing once more, nodding your head towards the small dressing room. “Can you help me tie the back?”
You can’t suppress your smile when she cheers at your relenting.
As you slip on the dress, you marvel at the way it hugs your body and emphasises you in a delicate way you’ve never seen before. The thin lace straps resting on your shoulders have little white and pink flowers stitched onto the delicate material, continuing a sweet trail down across the sweetheart neckline and onto the bodice. The fabric shimmers and shifts with every bit movement - flashes of soft yellow fading to a muted pear green depending on the lighting of the room while the pearls stitched throughout the fabric add to your glittering illusion. Paired with the layered ruffles at the end of the dress barely brushing the floor and the silk green ribbon that Meilin ties around your neck, you can’t help but know that this is your dress - even if you can’t see yourself in the mirror just yet.
“Oh, ____,” she gasps as she zips up the back, fingers beginning to tighten the corset. “I think this dress might be it.”
A buzzing breaks your star-struck wonder, and you tilt your head back slightly to look at Meilin in confusion. “Is that yours?”
“Oh!” She steps away quickly and darts out of the dressing room, leaving you to run your fingers along the diaphanous fabric as she takes her call. You swear you hear a muted whisper of “Got it, Trip,” behind you but you elect to ignore it, simply imagining you out in the town in this dress and dancing in the arms of a faceless figure with sparkling sunset eyes.
Look at you. You’ve practically grown foolishly soft with love.
But you can’t help but smile to yourself. You want this.
“____!” Meilin calls. You turn your neck so that you can look at her panic, eyes darting back and forth as she looks at you. “I’m so sorry but my boss is having a meltdown over at the Association. I’ll send an attendant to tighten your dress so that you can see the full effect and help you take it off, okay?”
“No worries, Meilin,” you say with an easy smile. You above all know how quick things can change at work, so you wave her off. “Thank you, by the way.”
She beams at you, about to turn back around before she stops and whips her head back at you. “Don’t you dare try to pay for that stunning beauty of a dress! I already put it in the wedding budget!”
You laugh at her cheeky wink before she dashes away, leaving you alone. Your fingers play idly with the ribbon in the back, wondering if you can pull the strings yourself. Surely it’ll work out if you just do it yourself.
You hear a rustle, though, stopping you in your tracks. You peek out of the dressing room, about to let the attendant in-
-only for your eyes to widen when you see Caleb standing before you, the shock you feel in your chest reflected on his face.
“I-”
“____?” He asks. “What are you doing here?”
You flounder for an answer, pulling the curtain closer to your body as if it can help you disappear. “I was trying on dresses with Mei but she left. But forget about me, what the hell are you doing in a dress shop?!”
Caleb’s eyes widen in disbelief before he points at the sign on the window. You swing your head to view it, groaning when you see Bloomshore Dress and Tux Shop in neat script.
Shit, ____, your observation skills are down the drain.
“Gideon and Patrick asked me to meet up for a tux fitting?” It ends in a question, almost as if he’s unsure of the situation he’s just been thrust into. “But, uh, the people said they didn’t have my tux quite ready yet sooo they told me to sit here for now.”
“Dammit,” you sigh, running a hand over the top of your head to ease your nerves at this situation devolving to being just you and him. “I was supposed to get the back of this dress corseted up and then I was gonna take a picture for Meilin before taking it off-”
“You’re wearing a dress?”
It comes out as a dazed whisper from Caleb and you feel prickles erupt on your skin when you see his cheeks flush lightly. He swallows heavily, Adam’s apple bobbing thickly before he manages to get out, “Can I see?”
You hesitate for a second, and for a split second you wonder if this entire thing will end up crashing all around you. What’s going to happen when the two of you go back to the DAA base and you have missions to execute? Will you ever be able to get back to the way the two of you were before this- fuck, since before the kiss you shared all those months ago?
You scan his face slowly, looking for any sort of hesitation from him. There’s nothing, though. It’s just Caleb, looking devastatingly handsome like he always does as he stares at you like you’ve hung all of the stars in the sky.
Your fingers twitch before they loosen, letting go of the curtain with a soft swish.
And you see the exact moment Caleb’s composure slips: eyes widening, jaw clenching before his tongue darts out to lick his bottom lip. His eyes follow a dangerous curve down your face to examine the way the dress flows around your body, and you swear you can feel the trail of sparks his gaze leaves tingling on your skin.
He frowns slightly, though, when he sees the way your hands clutch at the back of your dress.
“Come here.”
It’s soft, slightly hoarse as you tentatively approach him. He positions you in front of him so that you’re looking at the mirror while he stands behind you, and you loose a sigh at the vision of you in the mirror as you let your hands fall from your back for him to examine the ties.
Meilin’s right.
This is the one.
And by the way his breath is uneven against the nape of your neck, you know Caleb agrees.
“So I just…” His voice has dropped an octave, quiet as he pulls you slightly closer so that he can pull lightly at one of the ties experimentally. The corset squeezes you ever so slightly and you gasp, making him look up at you in panic as he settles his hands on your waist almost unknowingly.
“Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” His fingers flex at your sides and you reach out and slide your fingers in between his, giving him a soft squeeze.
“I’m okay,” you breathe out unsteadily. “Just uh…just a warning, okay?”
“R-right,” he stutters out, and when he moves his hands back to your corset, you duck your head so he can’t see your smile in the mirror.
You can feel yourself shiver when Caleb’s breath washes over your bare shoulders, though. His fingers barely brushing your spine as he threads his fingers along your corset ties. “Is this okay, star?”
“Yes,” you breathe.
You see him nod in the mirror, amethyst eyes flashing with something unknown before he begins.
For how calloused and big his hands are, Caleb’s exceptionally gentle as he tightens your corset. You hum when it feels too tight or too loose but for the most part he’s able to gauge your comfort just from how you breathe, loosening a loop if he hears your catch for even a second. Soon enough, he’s knotting the ties in a pretty bow as you look in the mirror, trying to reconcile the fact that this is you.
“All done,” he says softly. His hands move from your back, hovering slightly over your body before he lets them hang by his sides. You don’t have to look at them to know he’s shaking - you can feel the tremble of his chest behind you, brushing up against your back.
“Thank you,” you murmur, giving him a soft grin in the mirror.
Your eyes wander over your visage, turning so that you can see the shifts between pale yellow and pear green in real time. You feel a smile wash over your face as you turn, allowing for the dress to twirl around your ankles as you spin on your bare tiptoes. The feeling is so thrilling and you can’t help but laugh, tilting your head back at the pure happiness that envelopes your body as you miss the way Caleb’s jaw goes slack at your unbridled joy. It bathes you in an indescribable light, illuminating you from the inside out as he feels his stomach do flips.
You’re beautiful.
Every inch of you, overwhelmingly so.
You finally stop, your soft laughter fading as you finally see the way he looks at you. Eyes soft at the corners, the set of his jaw gentle as he gazes at you - everything about him defenseless. His hand trembles as he reaches up towards your face, but you still just enough for him to see the nod you give him before he allows himself to cup your face in his palms. He holds you reverently, thumbs brushing against every inch of skin he can reach and you reach up to circle his wrists with your fingers, pulling him closer so that your chests brush and he looms over you.
“You’re stunning.”
He says it like it’s a well known fact, just like the laws of gravity that dictate your universe and everything around you. But it steals your breath away from you all of the same, eyes flickering as you look at him in shock.
“Caleb,” you whisper, stepping back slightly. His feet follow you and before you know it you’re pressed up against the mirror as he lets his hands drift from your face to your waist, letting you wrap your arms around his neck to pull him closer - noses brushing, chests rising and moving with the same breath.
“You’ve robbed this room of all of the oxygen in it,” he says rawly, and with how shallowly he says it as he steals your own oxygen from your lungs you almost believe him. “Do you know what you do to me? It’s hard for me to compose myself or even breathe properly around you because you take my breath away, ____.”
“Cheesy.” You try to sound brave, but your voice wavers just enough for him to know that you feel it too.
“Only for my star.” Unlike before, it’s steady with his conviction. His head begins to duck down and your lips almost brush, eyes never leaving each other as you each examine the other’s face. You’re floored by the sheer honesty and longing on his face, his eyes tracing the delicate curve of your cheek as your own gaze begins to flutter shut.
There’s a silent whisper though, a promise to make sure that things stayed normal between you reverberating through your brain with a vengeance. You return your eyes to his and you whisper:
“Are we still pretending, Caleb?”
His eyes turn soft, and his hand reaches up to cradle your cheek as he looks at you like you’re his universe. His mouth opens, and-
“-Mr. Xia, your tu- oh!”
If the air in the room had gone thin previously, it suddenly comes rushing back and fills the two of you with crushing clarity. Caleb pushes him off with quick precision, subtly adjusting the front of his baggy shirt to hang loosely above the front of his pants as you cough, brushing the creases of your dress away.
“I’m uh, I’ll just-” The attendant tries to begin, but you hold your hands out to placate them a little bit.
“It’s okay!” You exclaim, although frustration bubbles in your chest at being interrupted once again. You step forward towards them, willing for your hands to stop shaking. “I’m done with this dress if you’ll help me take it off. Only if that’s okay with you.”
“Of course!” The attendant chirps, practically sprinting to a dressing room and pulling open the curtain for you. “Right this way, Ms. ____! Once this dress is off I’ll package it and send it home with you!”
“Thank you,” you reply softly. You pick up the delicate fabric and walk towards the dressing room, although you can feel the way Caleb’s eyes bore into your back.
“____.”
You turn back around and cock your head, confusion on your face. “Yes?”
Caleb’s eyes trace your figure softly once more before he drags them back up to his face - his eyes honing into the plush of your lips as he swallows thickly. You hold back on biting your lip, wrapping your arms around your waist to wait for what he wants to say.
“I’ll see you at the wedding?”
“Yes,” you murmur with a small smile on your lips. You give him a nod before turning around, walking away with the frenzy of butterflies in your stomach being nearly enough to have you float away.
You feel like you’re floating on cloud nine and you never want to come down.
There’s an undercurrent of excitement when you step into the ceremony space with Gideon and Patrick.
There’s tasteful bits of greenery all throughout the room, lilies and moon-shaped designs incorporated throughout the space. Above your heads are curtains of the same greenery draped tastefully, lanterns illuminating the space and casting everything with a warm, romantic glow. Everyone’s dressed in their best finery, and you sigh blissfully to yourself as you, Patrick, and Gideon settle in your designated seats. Your eyes never stop wandering, though, going from greenery to lilies to Xavier, who looks like he’s about to burst into tears as Jeremiah pats him on the back while waiting for the processional to start.
“You think Caleb’s going to cry?” Gideon’s tone is gleeful as he elbows you and Patrick, and you roll your eyes as you brush a piece of lint off of his suit.
“Patrick has a better chance of crying, honestly,” you shrug as you smooth out the nonexistent creases on your dress. You cross your legs, smiling as you see the shift from yellow to green underneath the romantic light. “And then you, and then me.”
“You’re lying,” he scoffs. “You’re much more of a softie than Patrick and I, ____.”
“I’m not going to cry,” you steadily declare. The lights slowly dim and you quickly sit up, casting them a glance as music begins to swell. “I’m going to keep it together.”
The music picks up and you watch as the procession starts, feeling your breath slowly grow uneven as tears begin to prick at your eyes. You blink rapidly as the bridesmaids begin to walk gracefully down the aisle, scolding yourself in your head because really, ____? Meilin isn’t even down the aisle yet-
Oh.
The entire venue stands as the music swells, Meilin standing arm in arm with Caleb and their Gran in front of the grand doors. She’s a vision as she walks down the aisle to the love of her life, the gentle tulle flowers on the long train of her dress giving the impression of her leaving petals in her wake. Your eyes flick up to Xavier and your heart warms at the sight of tears streaming down his face as he looks at her with all of the love in the world, nearly moving you to your own tears as she finally reaches the end of the aisle.
Meilin leans down to give Josephine a kiss on her cheek before she walks away, leaving her and Caleb standing at the end of the aisle as Xavier walks towards them. Meilin pulls Caleb down for a hug and he holds her tightly, a whispered word on his end making a tear slide down her cheek as she pulls back. Caleb and Xavier look at each other before Caleb holds his hand out, shaking Xavier’s hand firmly and finally pushing Meilin towards him before moving to stand beside the rest of the bridal party.
As the ceremony starts, you find your eyes wandering over Caleb’s form. The tuxedo he wears fits him like a glove, hair slicked back just enough to show off his forehead as he pays attention to the beginning. You vaguely register being instructed to sit down, and as you settle back to your seat you see Caleb’s eyes finally begin to scan the room around him.
You watch Caleb’s gaze scan the rows as he bounces subtly on his heels, perhaps looking for your group? His eyes widen when he sees Gideon and Patrick and he gives them a smile and a cheeky wink before moving his stare to you.
And the entire world stills, leaving just you and him.
Caleb's jaw goes slack when he sees your face, carefully done so that your natural beauty is still at the forefront. Everything in you stops as he carefully traces the delicately styled curls framing your face and the little flower and pearl pins holding your hair up before moving down, looking at the dress you’ve both grown to love so much.
All of a sudden, his eyes snap back up to yours and your breath catches in your throat. His gaze is full of longing and awe as his mouth forms a shape, and you realize belatedly he’s mouthing something to you as the ceremony continues. You flick your eyebrow up delicately, and you see him release a little amused puff of air before he mouths it again.
Beautiful.
Your body heats as you wait for Caleb to throw a wink in your way, maybe joking subtly to lighten the mood as you vaguely hear Xavier begin his vows. But he does none of it - he just looks at you with that same quiet intensity, eyes full of an unspoken feeling and yearning that the two of you share.
“____? Are you all right?”
You turn your head to the side when you hear Gideon’s whisper, and you bring your fingers up to your face when you suddenly register tears streaming down your cheeks. You delicately wipe them away before releasing a shaky breath, nodding and feeling yourself genuinely smile.
“I’m perfect.”
You direct your gaze back to Caleb, who’s face has a soft tinge of concern at your supposed pain. But you feel none of those negative emotions, only bubbling happiness that shoots up and down your spine as you finally, finally smile at him. His eyes widen and an emotion fills his eyes, soft and matching what you feel as Meilin and Xavier finish their vows, sealing themselves as a newly married couple.
Even when the ceremony space breaks out in cheers as Xavier dips Meilin down for a kiss, your eyes never leave each other, and you can’t help but giggle wetly to yourself as you wipe at the tears in the corners of your eyes continuously.
Oh, how you love Caleb Xia.
And oh, how you love the hope you’re allowing yourself to feel - the hope that he may love you, too.
That floating feeling doesn’t stop, even hours into the reception.
The space Meilin and Xavier rented out for the party is even more stunning than the ceremony hall, tables set up in neat rows on one side to accommodate the giant dance floor and buffet on the other side. The same greenery and moon bunny motifs are carried in here but it just feels more relaxed, leading to you chatting with some other guests before the wedding party showed up.
Meilin and Xavier enter the hall to cheers, smiles never leaving their faces as Xavier spins Meilin around to show off her silky reception dress before pulling her back in and dipping her down for a romantic kiss. You, Gideon, and Patrick cheer alongside the people at your table, and you can’t help but laugh when you see the dazed look in Meilin’s eyes after Xavier took her breath away.
While dinner was underway, Jeremiah gave a speech that had Xavier burning red while Meilin laughed at him, only for Caleb to turn the tables on her and make her sob with a sweet speech that left no eyes dry, Gideon’s and Patrick’s especially. You were quick to console them, but you were also dabbing away your own tears - especially when he looked at you during a tender moment.
Now, though? The tenderness has given way to a rager, and you laugh as Gideon executes a perfect worm with one of Meilin’s coworkers on the dance floor. You stand on the side of the dance floor, cheering when Patrick hops in at the perfect moment next to Gideon and they begin to execute their increasingly intricate dance routine to the enthusiasm of Hunter’s Association.
“____!”
Meilin somehow ends up beside you and she smiles widely at you, pulling you towards the middle of the dance floor. You laugh when you see her headband that has THE MOST LOVED MRS. SHEN in fluorescent letters above her head, and you let her drag you to the center as you both begin to dance.
“I! Love! This! Song!” She’s screaming above the music, moving her arms to the beat as you attempt to match her energy. You just end up laughing even harder, though, happiness overtaking your entire body as you pull her into your arms and give her a hug.
“I’m happy for you!” It’s soft, whispered in her ear as Meilin sniffles at your sweet sentiment. She hugs you back tightly and the two of you still, even as movement continues all around you. You’re happy that she’s your friend and that your apprehension on this trip has gone away, leaving you just warm and so fulfilled.
At one point, Meilin’s bridesmaids join in on the fray and they jump around you, screaming the lyrics to a cheesy pop song that has all of you giggling once more. Everything in this moment is electric and you can’t think of how it could possibly get better-
The music slows, and the crowd groans in good nature as a slower song comes on. There’s a tap on your shoulder, and you turn to smile at Xavier as he winks at you before pointing to Meilin behind you.
“Can I get a dance with my beloved wife, ____?”
“Of course.” You smile and tuck a stray curl behind your ear, letting Xavier scoop Meilin up in his arms. You turn around with a wink, marking your leave with a small kiss in Meilin’s direction as Xavier begins to sway her around.
You make your way to a small alcove by the refreshments stand, getting yourself a glass of water and drinking greedily to quench your thirst. You watch as the couple on the dance floor sway to the gentle song, lighting gone low to contribute to the romantic mood.
“____.”
You don’t need to turn to hear who it is, but you still tilt your head to the side as Caleb approaches you. He’s long taken off his tux jacket, sleeves pushed up to his elbow and tie loosened as he pushes his hair up off of his forehead. There’s an easy charm to him that has your stomach flipping, and you place your glass on the table behind you as he settles himself next to you.
“You look like you’ve had fun.” There’s subtle teasing on your voice and it makes Caleb chuckle quietly as he shuffles a little closer to you, making your fingers brush lightly. Sparks run up and down your arm at the subtle contact, and you feel your eyes grow wide at the intense stare on his own face.
“You look like the most beautiful woman I’ve ever had the opportunity to see.”
He punctuates his statement by sweeping you into his arms, making you gasp and settle your hands on his chest. He slowly begins to sway you around to the song in the background, and you fist his shirt in your hands slightly while tilting your head up to look at him. There’s a breathlessness on Caleb’s face, awe and deeper emotions mixing in his eyes that causes your own breath to escape your lips unsteadily.
“Are we done pretending, Caleb Xia?”
The answer to the question that’s evaded you time and time again is finally said, but there’s no grief in it. It’s just a quiet murmur, a whisper to your desires that has his eyes softening as he reaches up to cup your cheek.
“Yes, ____.”
He says it with absolute certainty, and he dips his head down to leave a tender kiss on your forehead pulling away slightly. He turns you in a slow circle and the lights shift around the two of you, bathing him with a hazy glow that has your heart beating just a little more erratically as you move to stand on your tiptoes.
“Good.” It’s steady leaving your mouth as you let your nose brush against his. “I’m tired of pretending, Captain Apple.”
“Yeah, star?” He dips down a little lower, his lips almost brushing yours as your eyes slowly begin to slip shut. “I-”
“Caleb!”
Meilin’s voice breaks the two of you from your stupor, and you feel yourself flush slightly as you put a little distance between the two of you before smoothing the creases from your dress. Caleb, however, looks like he wants to murder the teasing smile from Mei’s face as he steps away from you slightly.
“This better be good, Meilin. I was busy-” he begins hotly, but resignation blooms on his face as she grabs his arm and begins to drag him towards the floor, to his chagrin and your quiet laughter.
“I already danced with Gran!” She’s laughing, and you can’t help but smile at the infectious happiness as Caleb looks back at you in exasperation. “I need to do the cheesy slow dance with someone who’s basically my older brother! C’mon-”
Caleb, all the while, gazes back at you with a longing in his eyes that lets you know he doesn’t want to go. You simply shake your head and smile, nodding in the direction of the dance floor encouragingly.
“Wait for me,” he says.
“I will,” you whisper back, more to yourself than to him. Still, he sees your relenting and finally eases, letting Meilin fully drag him to the dance floor with no complaints.
Serenity settles itself in your soul as you see the two of them dancing, Caleb and Meilin laughing as he spins her around in dizzying circles. You don’t feel any jealousy, though, only happiness that the two of them worked out the awkwardness and that they’re back to being childhood best friends who always stood side by side.
Your eyes wander the room before landing on an ajar door to your left, and you make your way out so that you can feel some cool air on your skin. You hum to yourself when you find yourself in a garden, and you’re careful to pick up your skirt as you look over the moonlit majesty of the shrubs and flowers lining the sidewalk you’re standing on. You can still hear the party from the scattered open doors, but it’s peaceful enough that you can soak in your happiness as you amble slowly.
The wind chills slowly as the moon rises higher in the sky, stars twinkling as you feel goosebumps prickle at your skin. You look down at your dress and sigh, electing to go back to the hall so that you can pick up a glass of champagne and get the thin scarf that came with your dress. You’re about to step inside-
“Caleb, you need to be honest with ____.”
Patrick sounds severe, cutting through the tranquility of the garden as you freeze. Somewhere in the fray you hear Gideon nodding in agreement and Caleb sighing in frustration, and you decide then and there to listen in on them.
This is pertaining to you.
Their words are muffled as you duck behind a column by an open door, the music blaring from the dance floor making it a safe place for you to duck inside quickly before stepping back outside, crouching by another column and straining your ears so you can hear the heated discussion happening right outside. There’s a lull in the words so you peek out just a little bit more, gripping the column as you fight to hear what they’re arguing about-
“-she’s not Meilin, not at all.”
Your heart stops.
Caleb’s voice continues hotly, and you feel your hands begin to tremble as he spills his emotions for you to finally hear. “I can’t keep pretending with ____. I just can’t.”
The honesty is painful but you’re thankful because it pulls you out of the bullshit fantasy you were living in. You fight to steady your breathing as you listen to him break your heart, unaware that you’re even here. You’re grateful, though, because you finally know how he truly feels about you - that his pretending was just a means to an end to him.
That you should just stop.
That you’ll never be enough for him.
“She’s never going to be someone like Meilin. Meilin is bright, bubbly- commands the room with every smile she throws around like confetti. She’s welcoming and talkative and…and ____ will never be that, you know?”
You can practically feel the uncomfortable silence that the three of them descend into before Gideon’s low voice cuts through the tension. “So why don’t you tell her that, Caleb?”
You’ve heard enough. More than enough.
You don’t need to hear what Caleb thinks about you. He’s been playing you this entire time.
You force yourself to push your trembling body through the door, and you see Gideon’s and Patrick’s faces light up in panic as they register that it’s you - you in this beautiful dress that suddenly feels too heavy and too light all at once - the numerous ties holding the dress closed strangling the air from out of your lungs while leaving you and your emotions naked for the two of them to see.
“____,” Patrick breathes, making Caleb’s head whip around in a frenzy as he sees you standing there.
His eyes widen but you shake your head once, twice, three times before turning around and running as fast as you can.
You step on the front of the dress heavily as you run back into the main ballroom, making you hitch up the slippery fabric so that you can run just a little bit faster. You can hear a frantic shout of your name but you ignore it, locating the front exit right by the dance floor where the party continues to dance late into the night.
You don’t think. You plunge into the crowd, effortlessly weaving and bobbing through the enthusiastic throng of people as you attempt to lose Caleb in the dancing bodies. Your vision blurs with tears but you blink them away, focused on your objective of getting as far away as you can-
-only to bump into a body draped in white silk surrounded by the telltale pale blue dresses of the bridesmaids, Meilin holding onto your elbows as she looks at you with worry.
“____, are you okay?” Her kindness makes your heart twinge and you know you should respond, put on a brave face at this unending warmth you do not deserve but you can only think about his words, of how you’ll never be her and how you will never be enough for Caleb-
“I need to go,” you gasp, and you all but rip yourself from her body when you hear the panicked yells scarily close to where the two of you stand in the middle of the dance floor. Meilin’s eyes widen at the sound but you don’t wait for her realization to hit her, instead electing to run as fast as your heels allow you to go.
“Caleb Xia, what the fuck did you do-”
Meilin’s voice is shrill - loud enough for you to hear even when you finally escape from the throng of people. There’s a small part of you that’s thankful for Meilin and her support but it’s swiftly drowned out by your brain screaming at you to keep going so that you don’t have to face the fallout. Your feet ache as you continue to run, toes pinched tight by the beautiful silk heels that you’re thankful have ties because you would have absolutely broken your ankle by now if it weren’t for them. Ahead of you lies the curb and the street where taxis would be, where your escape is. Your exit is so close - all you need to do now is get to the curb and wave for a taxi to take you away from this mess.
You’re almost there-
Gravity stops you in your tracks, making your heels stiffen as you try to move forward. You see the flashes of blue and orange traveling across your body before it lifts you up with a gentleness, spinning you around and guiding you back to the Evol user’s vision. You’re stunned into silence as you see Caleb’s plush lips pressed in a thin line, finger beckoning you closer before settling you gently onto the pavement.
“That’s foul play, Xia.” Your voice is cold, hands clenched in fists as you try to maintain your icy composure. Caleb’s eyes widen at your facade and he goes to step closer to you but you hold your hand up, turning your head slightly so you don’t have to look at the supposed devastation across his face.
“____-”
“I know I’ll never be Meilin.” The words are acrid as you all but spit them out and you can’t help but laugh shortly at his audacity to look hurt. “But having us pretend? Did you decide that being honest wasn’t enough? You wanted to give me a consolation prize?”
“That’s not at all what I meant.” His voice wavers as he steps closer to you, but you simply turn your body and try to keep your body from shaking. “____, everything came out wrong and I need you to know that I didn’t mean it like that.”
“So what did you mean, Captain Xia?” Caleb’s face flashes with hurt at your usage of his title, but you can’t find it in yourself to care in the face of your breaking heart. “What did you mean when you said that I will never be Meilin, your perfect best friend?”
“____, please look at me.” You lift your head slightly to see his panic, never letting yourself fully gaze into those amethyst eyes as he steps closer to you, arms brushing as he tries to mend what he’s shattered. “You’re my north star, the one guiding me home-”
“-but I’ll never be enough to be the one you choose at the end of the day.”
It’s a lethal slice of words, silence enveloping the two of you once more as you finally turn your body to face him. He looks utterly forlorn, eyes darting back and forth across your face as he tries to say something to make it up to you, but you can only laugh as you fill the silence for the both of you instead.
“I get it, Xia, I do.” Your voice is a bitter whisper, wrapping your arms around your body as you shake from the cold and what you’re about to say. “Mei’s your childhood best friend and someone who’s going to be there for you forever. She’s perfect and bubbly and warm and so beloved by all while I’m just…me. Someone easy to pretend with.”
“No, you don’t get it, ____.” He’s desperate and your eyes widen as he staggers down in front of you, grabbing your hands so that he can press his face into your cold palms. “Everything I said about Meilin is true but ____, my star, you are the North that guides me home. You are the earth beneath my feet that keeps me stable and the air in my lungs whenever everything suddenly feels too overwhelming. You’re in my dreams and in the stars in the sky, in sunsets and in clouds and in flowers. I see your smile and I know I’m fucked because that’s the smile I would fight and bleed to death for, because all I want is for you to keep those smiles and laughs and breaths for myself. But it’s also the smile that makes me fly safer, the smile I keep in my mind when I go in and out of the Deepspace Tunnel and fuck, ____, I need you to believe me.”
Your heart sinks as his face searches yours, eyes wild for some sort of way to have you understand him, that he truly means every word he says-
“Where was this in the bar the first time you kissed me?” Your voice has softened at his start of a confession, but the words are still veiled with cynicism as you search his face for any sort of truth. “Why didn’t you tell me this the first time around? Or at the night market? Why did you hesitate to tell me these things until you thought it might have been too late? Why did you have us pretend in the first place when it’s never been pretend for me, Xia?”
Your vision wavers and a tear falls from the corner of your eye, slowly rolling down your cheek before splashing on his nose. The amethyst eyes you love so much widen at your pain, fingers reaching up to try and brush the droplets betraying your true hurt off of your face but you shake your head, quick to circle your fingers around his wrist to stop him.
“I love you.” It’s a quiet and teary whisper, yet it’s steady with conviction as you see the way his face crumples. “But I don’t think it’s enough for the both of us…is it?”
“I love-”
“No, Caleb Xia.” You push his shoulders away from body, sobs making your entire body tremble like a leaf as you point at him accusatorily. “You don’t get to say that. Not until you get me to believe that I’m not your consolation prize.”
You step away from his kneeling and rattled form, pressing your hand against your mouth so that you can try to stop the ugly sobs escaping your lips. Your vision is stilted and the words spill out of your mouth almost unwittingly, but they’re the only words that make sense in your head as you leave your bleeding heart crushed in between his calloused fingers.
“I'll get the last train to Skyhaven. Don’t bother following me.”
And you turn on your heels, leaving pieces of you on the sidewalk in front of him because there’s no way anyone will ever be able to help you patch yourself up again.
Not when you’ve been utterly shattered to your core.
You lied.
You didn’t end up going back to Skyhaven.
You ended up going to a hotel you booked at the last minute after furiously packing all of your belongings and leaving the dress and shoes you can no longer bear to look at on the bed. You hadn't let yourself shatter until you were safe in the hotel room, curling up on the bed and sobbing your eyes out as the hair you had so carefully pinned with the precious pins slowly came undone.
You’ve been here since, ignoring how your phone buzzes every five minutes as people try to contact you. Patrick in particular had blown up your phone after you had turned off your location, but you had simply texted him that you were safe and that you would be back at the DAA after you finished the rest of your allotted vacation leave.
Which gave you about five more days of quiet to pick up your heart before you returned to your harsh reality.
You’ve gone back to finishing up reports and scanning flight logs for upcoming missions, not giving yourself time to think about your disaster of a love life. Your phone buzzes once again and you allow yourself to pick it up just to see who it is, swiftly closing it and placing it back by your side when you see his name flash on the screen once more.
✉ [12:57] DO NOT RESPOND: please, ____. i need to see you and set things right, please.
Your heart aches even at your brave face, scanning your application for transfer. You don’t quite know if a person breaking your heart is grounds for a transfer to a different unit, but surely they’ll let you do it…right?
There’s a knock on your door and you freeze, wondering if you’ve been caught. You’re quiet on your feet as you approach the door, looking through the peephole and feeling your mouth drop open in shock. You open the door almost immediately, and their names fall out of your mouth in shock.
“Meilin? Xavier?”
Xavier looks sad for you as Meilin’s eyes swell with tears, and you realize belatedly that Xavier’s carrying two bags. He catches you staring at them before he says softly, “Noodles since we thought you’d be hungry. And Mei wanted to return it to you.”
You have no idea what the it is they’ve mentioned, but it’s enough for Meilin to burst into tears as she pulls into a hug. You bite your lip as you hug her back tightly, staring up at the ceiling to quell your tears away. All the while, Xavier maneuvers himself into the room and places both bags on your bed before gently pushing the two of you inside, giving you a pleading look before closing the door behind him.
Leaving the two of you alone.
“I’m so sorry,” Meilin sobs as you both awkwardly maneuver into the room together, the both of you finally sitting on the couch by the window as you finally allow yourself to cry too. Twin sobs shake both of your bodies as you both cling to each other, but Meilin’s sobs stop quick enough for you to fully collapse into her as she hugs you tightly, stroking your back as you weep from the ache in your heart.
“I’m sorry about how I left your wedding, Mei.” You don’t know why that’s the first thing that pops into your head, but it makes your cries echo louder across the room as Meilin shushes you. “You’ve been nothing but kind to me and I leave like that-”
“Are you kidding me, ___?!” She pulls you away from her slightly, making you sniffle when you see the serious expression on her face. “You’ve been nothing but an angel and I’m so happy that we’re friends, I’m so sorry for what happened to you honey.”
“It’s okay,” you mumble. “I should have known he didn’t feel the same way about me. I was just a fool, Mei.”
“You are not a fool, ____.” Meilin’s voice is sharp as she stands up from the couch, pulling the curtains open and letting sunlight stream into the space. A sprawling view of Linkon City appears before you as she goes to your bed, grabbing the takeout bag and pulling out cartons of zhe jiang mian. She holds one out to you with the sternness of a mother duck and you comply, cracking open the lid and letting yourself soak in the smell of the savory aroma.
“I was a fool for thinking he’d love me too, Mei.”
Her hand freezes at your statement, chopsticks halfway to you. You feel a fresh wave of tears well up in your eyes but you blink them away, plucking the chopsticks from her hand and scootching over to give her some space on the couch.
“Caleb is so stupid.” Meilin grumbles it with vehemence as she settles down next to you, opening her container a little too forcefully. Her annoyance makes you crack for a single second, a small quirk of your lip that quickly vanishes with the searing hurt in your chest. “After I basically drilled into his thick skull to go after you? To tell you how he really feels about you? What a stupid idiot.”
“At least I know what he truly thinks of me now.” It’s resigned as you poke at a noodle. “Now I know how he really feels so I can squash whatever feelings I have.”
“____, no-”
Meilin grabs at the container in your hands and quickly stands, placing it on the dresser before sitting back down and pulling your head so that it rests on her shoulder. You don’t sob this time, but the tears still stream down your face in steady rivulets as you bring your hand up to clutch at your chest.
“I’m never going to be you.” It’s a trembling exhalation, words painted with hurt as you force them out for her to hear. “I just wish that I was enough for him, too.”
“God, he really messed this up, did he?” You can’t even find the energy to laugh, simply trying to keep your breathing even as she reaches down and grips your hand tightly. “____, he doesn’t need someone like me. We bicker and annoy each other all of the time. ____, he needs someone like you.”
“Mei, that’s not true-”
“Someone who can challenge him." She cuts you off, too engrossed in her ramblings to hear your protests as she continues on. “Someone who brings him happiness, who makes him laugh and is also someone who guides him down the right path. Someone he puts first because he wants to, ____, not because of the circumstances the two of us were forced into as kids.
“He really wants to, ____.” Her emotions are clear as day on her face as she looks down at you, eyes shimmering with honesty. “God, ____, Caleb wants you and only you and I support the hell out of him for that because you’re so wonderful inside and out.”
You duck your head as you feel tears gathering once more, making you annoyed as you mull over the words she’s said to you. Why can’t you stop crying?
“It hurts, Meilin.”
Her face crumples at your vulnerability and she pulls you in quickly as you begin to sob once more . “I’m so sorry, ____.”
Your tears never stop as you cling to her like a lifeline, trying your hardest to stem the flow but it never stops. No, it keeps going as you go through your stages of grief, processing every emotion until you’re ready to go on to the next one. All the while, she clings to you and brushes your baby hairs back from your face, not minding the tears staining her shirt.
“You know, ____, he asked for his dog tags back.”
It comes as a quiet confession after your sobs have mostly subsided, breath hiccuping in your throat as Meilin reaches into her pocket, pulling out the thin silver When U Come Back plate. It dangles on its chain, although you notice that the apple charm is conspicuously missing from the set.
“What happened to the apple charm?” You ask softly. Meilin’s eyes sparkle with nostalgia, but it’s not bad - it’s as if she’s reliving her shared childhood with the man the two of you love. Still, her smile is soft as she looks at you with a muted sadness.
“He said I was always going to be someone he views as his little sister and best friend, but that he needed his official dog tags back for someone important. He gave this back to me pretty easily. Said something about updating it to fit the current time, too.”
“Mei-” you begin, but she cuts you off with a tighter hug that you immediately reciprocate.
“Caleb- Caleb is rash and abrasive and he doesn’t think sometimes, ____. But I swear to you that he feels for you, so much more than you even know. I’m sorry for anything I’ve caused between the two of you, I- ____, he’ll always be someone I grew up with but I told him it’s time for him to put himself first instead of me and Gran, you know? He deserves to be happy too, and he’s happiest when he’s with you.”
Somewhere in the back of your mind, you realize you’re crying again. They stream steadily down your cheeks, but they don’t hurt anymore.
No, they don’t hurt at all. Not when you’re so numb now.
Meilin looks up, and her eyes are similarly red-rimmed as you let her hug you tightly once more before pulling away, looking at you pleadingly. “I mean it, ____. Caleb’s a good person, but he’s so much more when he’s around you. I’ve never seen him that happy before- you bring it out of him.”
“I love him, Meilin.” Her eyes soften at your statement, and she reaches up delicately to wipe some tears from your face. “I love him so much.”
“Wait for him, ____, my friend.” Your face crumples at her sweet sentiment, but the flick she directs at your forehead makes the moment feel less heavy as you instead reach up to brush away the numerous tear tracks on your cheeks. “He’ll go to you soon, I promise.”
You let your head settle on her shoulder as you finally, finally let yourself breathe slowly from the suffocating emotions you’ve felt since you’ve gone to Linkon. But in its wake leaves a steady reassurance that no matter what happens, you have support - a new family waiting for you at the end of the line.
All the while, Meilin pats your back as she soothes you. Her eyes are directed outside of the window to the floating speck in the distance: Skyhaven, where Caleb’s waiting for you.
“Don’t mess this up, idiot.” She grumbles lowly to herself.
She knows he won’t, though.
Not when he loves you.
Something in you feels a little less heavy when you finish organizing your stuff in your quarters.
It’s a metaphorical closing chapter to the trip as you methodically organize clothes you need to wash, your laptop back at its proper place as music blares softly from the speakers. You hum along to the beat, grabbing the last box Meilin had given to you when she and Xavier visited you and opening it.
Your dress is folded neatly inside, your shoes carefully packaged so that no dirt gets on the delicate material. You pull it up by the straps and let the garment unfurl to the floor so you can give it a shake before hanging it up in your closet. You frown when you see another purple bundle fall out from in between the folds, however, and you settle the dress back in its box gently before picking up the crumpled ball and letting it unfold for you to see what it is.
XIA.
Your heart skips a beat when you see the basketball jersey, slightly wrinkled and still faintly smelling of his apple perfume. Your eyes between your already overflowing laundry basket and the crumpled garment before you sigh, tossing it in with the rest of the load and picking the basket up.
You’ll just fold it back up and leave it at his door and then you can go back to avoiding him again. You approach your door and swing it wide open, ready to spend hours at the laundry room-
“Oh.”
Caleb stands in front of you, clad in sweatpants and a baggy white tee as his fist hangs to where your door used to be. Despite how comfy he looks, though, he looks utterly wrecked - heavy bags under his eyes hinting at his lack of sleep.
He still looks devastatingly handsome though, and his eyes shimmer slightly when he sees your face by your open door.
“Can I come in?”
It’s hoarse, full of pleading as he looks at you like you’re the air he’s been deprived of for a long time. You don’t speak, simply turning back around and making enough room for him to step inside and close the door behind him as you plop the basket back by the end of your bed.
It’s awkward as you eye the dress and its box on your bed, and you decide that the best course of action is to continue moving so he doesn’t see the way your frame trembles under his scrutiny. After grabbing a hanger from your closet you make your way to your bed, arranging the straps neatly in the notches and making sure that the fabric is smooth before going back to your closet and making a space for it amongst your uniforms.
“You were beautiful during the wedding.”
“This dress was a big part of it.” It’s a soft mumble as you give one more push to your uniforms, finally making enough space so that it doesn’t get lost in the clothes of your closet. You slot it in neatly and continue to avoid his eyes as you pick up the shoes, pulling them from the bag and settling them on your shoe rack.
“Let me correct myself,” he says as the two of you approach your bed simultaneously. His hands beat you to the box, and he sets it on your desk as you finally allow yourself to look up.
And what a mistake that is.
His vulnerability is on show for you, nothing clouding his expression as he looks at you with a deep longing. You can feel yourself shake under the intensity of his gaze, so you fold your arms as you fight to stay neutral.
“You were correcting yourself?”
It’s bland, not giving away how your heart pounds in your chest as Caleb’s eyes light up at your quiet allowance. His hands slowly move out towards your arms and when you don’t shy back, he rests his fingers on your arms as he begins to untangle them.
“You’re always beautiful.”
It’s raw, almost unwitting as he finally untangles your arms. There’s no hesitation on his face as he pulls you closer, just enough so that you’re looking up at him as your chests brush with your breaths.
“Are you sure you’re not pretending, Xia?”
It’s resigned from your mouth, no bitterness or anger as your eyes dip down to avoid his face. But you find yourself captured by something, and something in you stills when you see silver tags resting on his chest.
He sees you go still when you catch sight of them, and he releases a puff of air as his hands move up to lift his chain for your eyes to see. “No, ____, I was never pretending.”
Caleb steps closer to you, fingers barely shaking as he holds out his chain for you to see. You can see the little apple charm on the chain, a subtle nod to his family and the childhood best friend he’s always going to protect. But there’s a new plate and a new charm, and Caleb delicately lifts and moves his standard dog tag off of the second plate.
There’s a small, old style compass etched onto the metal. You frown when you see something smaller at the direct north of the compass and you unconsciously move closer, making your bodies brush together slightly while you squint to see what the smaller letters are.
Your heart stops when you see it.
Your initials, in your own handwriting.
Caleb’s shaky breath washes over your face but his hands are ever steady, lifting the second charm up so you can see it. It’s the same small star charm from the night market, but the gem matches the color of your dress from Meilin’s wedding.
“You were never second place, ____.” His hand reaches up to tilt your chin up, and you see every bit of truth in his eyes mixing something more as he settles his other hand on your waist, pulling you in so that you’re in his embrace. Your hands reach up to fist his shirt, pulling him closer as you let yourself breathe deeply so that you can continue to hear what he says.
“I wanted to support Meilin and Gran but you’re the reason why I keep going. You’re what I see at the end of the day- hell, ____, I see you and I feel you everywhere I am. You’re why I am. You’re my purpose, ____.”
“It was never pretend, Caleb?” It’s a quiet whisper as your eyes dip down, settling on his lips instead of his intense stare. “You were honest this entire time?”
“Yes, my star.”
“So why did you have us pretend then? Why couldn’t you have told me the truth from the start?”
“I was afraid,” he admits quietly. “I’ve been so accustomed to putting Mei and Gran first that when I saw the proof of their permission to let me live my life I was fucking terrified. I’ve never thought of myself and what I’ve wanted before, ____. I’ve always put them at the forefront. And being given that scared me but it also made me realize everything I wanted.”
“And that is?” You know the answer, feeling it bubble in your chest as the hope you thought was extinguished returns as a steady flame. Caleb’s hands tilt your chin up so you can look at him fully, and your breath catches in your throat when you see his expression.
Love. So much love for you and only you.
“You. All of you. Your happiness. Your steadfastness. Everything about you, star. I want you and only you, in this lifetime and the ones after that, ____.”
“Caleb,” it’s a gasp as he finally wraps you in a hug, almost lifting you up into the air as he holds you close to his chest. You bury your head into his neck as the moment swallows the both of you whole, never wanting to let go because it’s real.
“I’m sorry for everything I said.” It’s a whisper by your ears, and a tear slips from your eye as he kisses your temple. “I meant none of it and I will do everything in my power to earn your forgiveness if you decide I deserve it. I will work and get on my knees and beg for as long as I need to if it means I get to keep your smile in my life, my star, my ____.”
You pull your head from his neck and you look up at his shining eyes as he waits for your response. All of the hope in the world is displayed on his face, and you can’t help the smile that blooms across your face.
“That’s quite dramatic, Caleb.”
“I mean it,” he replies with all seriousness. “I will do it for the one I love, ____.”
Love.
Caleb’s eyes widen at his slip but you angle your head up, letting your lips brush against his in a chaste kiss so he can feel your smile against his mouth. “I love you too, Caleb Xia.”
The world stops as he processes your words, realizing that you love him, too. A moment barely passes before he leans down and kisses you, stealing your breath away and making your eyes close.
“I love you, ____, my star.” It’s a heavy groan against your lips as he wraps your legs around his waist, walking to your bed and settling you down onto your mattress. Your hands are quick to grab at his body, pulling him down once more and pressing your lips against his fervently as his hands map the contours of your body - committing everything into memory so he can keep you in his thoughts for all eternity.
“Caleb,” you gasp as his lips move from your mouth to the rest of your face, pressing kisses into every surface of skin he can touch as his hands slowly caress every part of your body. Your fingers are no better, going from the baggy material of his shirt before your arms wind around his neck once more, sliding into his thick hair and tangling into his messy locks.
“God, I love you,” he groans before capturing your lips once again, stealing your breath from your body once more and making your head spin at the giddy pleasure coursing through your veins. Your hands travel from the back of his head to his shoulders, fingers twisting the loose fabric around his shoulders before you tug at the material insistently.
“Off, please- Caleb-” you gasp against his mouth when he bites down on your bottom lip. You feel a small smirk against your lips as he pulls away only slightly, reaching behind to pull his shirt off of his body from the back collar. You can feel yourself flush further at the sight of his abs as he tosses the shirt behind him, and before you can stop yourself your fingers trace a dangerous line along his pecs.
“Shit, star-” he hisses. Caleb’s hands find your waist and his fingers tighten against your side, flopping onto his back and pulling you up so that you straddle his hips. Your core presses against the growing bulge in his pants and you gasp, pulling on the chain around his neck so that you can kiss him once more as your hips begin to move on their own accord.
Caleb’s tongue slips out his mouth, swiping against your bottom lip to ask for permission in. Your mouth falls open in response, and he’s quick to dart in and tangle his tongue against your own as his hands continue to guide the pace of your lips. Your skin feels too hot as your actions continue, little whimpers and moans filling the air and matching his whispered expletives. His hands move from your hips to your waist, making a dangerous path up your abdomen before lightly pressing against your chest.
“Can I-” he tries, but your hands press against the back of his hands, letting his palms massage your breasts as you whimper with want.
“Touch me, Caleb Xia.”
His tongue quickly darts out to wet his lips, his pupils dilating as you continue to grind against his rapidly hardening cock. His hands move down to your side, long and calloused fingers sliding underneath your tank top before pushing the pesky fabric up and over your head. All you’re left in now is your pretty lace bralette and sweatpants, making Caleb's blood rush down south as he flips you back over once again.
“So beautiful,” he groans. His hands make quick work of both of your sweatpants, sliding the baggy fabric down your legs before the two of you are left in only your underwear.
“My star,” Caleb whispers reverently. His body slowly inches down until he’s kneeling at the foot of your bed, gently pulling at your thighs until they rest on his shoulders. His pointer finger slides against the front of your underwear, and you gasp as his fingers press harder against the wetness that soaks the lace.
“You’re so wet, ____.” There’s a teasing edge as he pulls the fabric to the side, groaning when he sees the way your pussy glistens under the light of the moon from your window. “Who made you this wet, hmm?”
“Caleb-” you gasp, half in answer and half pleading as he lets his fingers press just a little bit harder against your sopping slit. The tips of his fingers dip into your hole slightly, making your back arch as you gasp.
“Mmm…”
It’s the only hum you hear before he buries his head between your thighs, a finger pushing into your soaking hole as his mouth wraps around your clit and sucks just the tiniest bit. A wanton moan escapes your body, thighs about to close but he simply holds you open as he begins to feast on you.
“Caleb-” Your voice catches in a whimper as your hands travel down, pulling on his hair in a bid to get him closer. “P-please, more-”
He simply hums against your pussy, slowly retracting his thick fingers before moving his tongue to your weeping entrance. His tongue slides in and you cry out as his nose bumps against your clit over and over again while he eats you like a man deprived. Your head thrashes back and forth, the needy feeling filling your body until you’re hot all over - a single touch enough to hurtle you off to your end.
Even with your wanton pleasure, Caleb’s movements never cease. His tongue moves back up to your clit, and he presses two fingers gently into your cunt. The stretch makes you cry out, your sweaty hands grabbing at your sheets as he gently crooks his thick digits so that he can press against that spot in you.
“My beautiful star.” He pulls away just enough for you to hear it, the warm air hitting your clit and making you jolt in sensitivity. “Who’s making you feel this good, hm?”
“C-caleb-” You sob. You’re lost in the haze of pleasure, the only thing you can manage being whimpers of his name as he drives you closer to your precipice. All the while he continues to move his fingers inside of you in gentle movements, consistently pressing against your g-spot and making you gasp. The knot in your stomach unravels and you gasp. “Caleb, I’m-”
His mouth slots back against your pussy, tongue flicking against your clit in silent permission to surrender to your end.
And you do.
You cum with a silent moan, tears streaking against your face as the pleasure washes over you in overwhelming waves. His hands never stop, though - he’s still crooking his fingers against your g-spot as he kitten licks at your swollen pearl, making you almost scream as you feel pressure build in your lower abdomen.
All of a sudden you gush all over his hand and he moans, moving his tongue so he gets your taste straight from the source. Your hips move up and down as you gasp, little whimpers the only thing you can manage before you flop back onto your bed bonelessly.
Caleb’s careful to pull his fingers from your pulsing walls, and you gasp as you feel yourself tense around nothing. He moves back up so that he’s hovering above you, pressing a kiss to your forehead and rubbing his nose against your own. “You okay, star?”
“Please.” It’s a sleepy plea as you slowly push yourself up on your bed, settling your weight on your elbows as you look at him with a small smile on your face. Caleb looks utterly wrecked: pupils blown wide open and mouth shining with your slick as he breathes heavily, the silver chain against his neck rising up and down with every movement of his chest. Your eyes travel lower, past his pecs and his abs and down the feathery trail of hair leading into his boxers, where his cock strains heavily against the tight fabric.
Your fingers make quick work of your bralette, pulling it over your head and throwing it at him teasingly. He catches it with one hand, even though he’s distracted by the way your breasts sway slightly with your unsteady breaths.
“Fuck,” he groans. He’s quick to drop the flimsy lace onto the floor before making his way back onto your bed, hovering above you slightly as he kisses you once more. You whimper when you taste yourself on his lips, and he’s quick to pull your underwear down your legs as you push his boxers off of his hips impatiently.
“Is this okay, ____?” The tip of his cock slides through your silken folds, and he groans heavily against your mouth as you gasp. His hand grips his length, slapping his cockhead against your clit and making you jolt against his body.
“Please, Caleb-” It cuts off into a long-drawn out moan when his tip lightly catches against your hole, and you wiggle your hips in an attempt to pull him in closer. He’s quick to stop you, though, hand on your hip as he slowly guides himself into your heat.
“Patience, star.” His voice is low and gritty as he pushes himself in slowly, making your eyes roll back at the slow stretch. Your walls flutter around his length, slowly pulling him in until he’s fully sheathed in your soaking cunt - leaving you gasping at how utterly full you feel of him.
“-ngh.” It’s an incoherent noise from your mouth, and Caleb’s quick to check on you as he kisses the tip of your nose.
“You okay, beautiful?” There’s an edge of humor as he shifts slightly, making you gasp as he jostles slightly inside you. His hips still but you’re quick to wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him closer and making a moan escape his lips.
“Please move-” you all but beg. His eyes darken at your wanton neediness but he’s quick to comply, slowly shifting his hips until he settles a shallow rhythm; slowly rocking in and out in and leaving you begging for more.
“My star, my ____,” he murmurs reverently, capturing your lips in a heated and messy kiss as his hips begin to move in longer strokes. Your teeth clack together as his tongue fights yours for dominance, and you finally relent and let him win as your mouth falls open. His cock bullies your g-spot over and over as you whine, fingers raking down his biceps at the onslaught of pleasure he’s leaving all over your body. He pulls away slightly, and you feel your head spin at the string of saliva connecting your lips and the way his dog tags bounce on his sweaty skin at the thrusts of his movements.
“Look at you,” he groans. The obscene plap plap plap of his hips hitting his mark consistently fills the air, pairing with your whimpers and gasps of his name. “So beautiful and all mine-”
“-Caleb!” You’re sobbing at this point, arms wrapping around his neck so that you can pull him down towards you. His necklace dangles in the little space between the two of you, swaying above your face as your nails leave red marks down his back.
“Are you close, my star?” Your eyes cross when he angles his hips juuust right, consistently hitting your g-spot as his pelvis bumps against your clit over and over again. “Are you going to cum for me, ____?”
“Yes-” you gasp, head thrashing back and forth as your tears slide down your cheeks and soak into the pillow below you. “‘M gonna cum, Caleb-”
“Yeah?” His hips speed up even more, and you sob as you feel yourself begin to fall off your edge. “Cum for me, my star-”
“-ah!” It’s a little scream as the knot in your stomach finally snaps, and your final orgasm washes over your entire body as he continues to move inside of you. His rhythm grows stilted as he feels your walls pulse all around him, making him moan as his head falls to your neck.
“I love you Caleb-” you sob, nails digging into his shoulders as his hips stutter at your slurred words. “‘m so in love with you, Caleb Xia-”
“Fuck,” he swears, and his teeth sink into your skin as he cums in your warmth. You whine when you feel him filling you up, leaving you full and content as his hips slowly come to a stop - letting him relish in the feeling of your warm cunt soaking him as your walls pulse around him weakly.
There’s a comfortable quiet as the two of you catch your breath, your fingers tracing random shapes up and down his spine. Caleb slowly lifts his head, and you laugh softly when you see the dazed look in his eyes as he catches your gaze.
“Can’t believe you came when I said I love you.” You mean for it to be teasing, but you gasp when you feel his cock twitch in your sensitive walls. You look up at him in bewilderment, and he has the grace to look a little bit sheepish as his hips shallowly thrust almost absentmindedly.
“You’re incredibly beautiful and hearing you say that you love me in that tone of voice was incredibly hot, star.” This time you do laugh, rolling your eyes even when you feel yourself growing needy for him again.
“I love you, Caleb.”
It’s a sweet whisper, and you both ignore the way your pussy clenches around his cock as he leans down to kiss you.
“I love you too, my star, my ____.” He whispers.
Gideon and Patrick stand outside of your door, ears pressed to the thick wood so they can hear Caleb’s muffled confession. Alongside on Gideon’s phone are Meilin and Xavier, the line silent as they wait impatiently for any sort of update from them.
“Well?!” The pixelation and shit wifi of the DAA base hide little of Meilin’s impatience, making Gideon wince and lower the volume of his phone as Patrick continues to listen in for anything.
“It’s really quiet.” It’s a hushed whisper, and both Gideon and Patrick look at each other in resignation as Meilin sighs sadly.
“It’s over,” she weeps softly. “My ship is sinking…”
“Aren’t we supposed to be your top ship, my love Mei?” Xavier’s teasing cuts through the tension only a little bit as Meilin scoffs.
“Caleb and ____ are my top ship!”
“Wait,” Gideon says all of a sudden. He presses his ear against the door and hears it:
I love you too, Caleb.
“Co-conspirators of Project Dizzy Apple, we have achieved our goal.”
Meilin squeals happily on the phone as Gideon and Patrick fist bump each other, relieved that the two of you are no longer tiptoeing around each other. Patrick shakes his head with a smile as he presses his ear on the door once more-
-only for his face to blanch as he grabs Gideon’s arm and begins to drag him away.
“We need to move, now.”
“What, why?” Meilin’s voice crackles on the line as Patrick tries to drag Gideon away from the door. “I want to hear more of their love confession! I need the romance!”
Patrick shakes his head vigorously, eyes wide. “They’re not-”
“Please- Caleb-!”
“Shit shit shit,” Gideon swears over and over when he realizes what he's hearing and he clumsily stands up with Patrick as Meilin fake-gags on the phone.
“Ew ew ew ew ew gross!” Gideon would usually reprimand Meilin for how loud she’s being but right now he’s inclined to agree, trying desperately to scrub the sounds of your shared sin from his mind as the two of them tumble into Patrick’s room.
“Why are we worried about it?” Xavier sounds confused. “You say much worse when I make love to you, Mei. You sound deliciously sinful, too.”
“Not the time,” Patrick grumbles, and Gideon winces once more as Meilin shrieks at Xavier.
Ah well, your friends may have gotten the two of you together but it cost them a little bit.
They don’t mind though.
Not when you and Caleb finally make yourselves known with wide smiles and held hands, slotting together naturally like the sunset over the horizon.
a/n #2: if you made it this far i am giving you a bouquet i'm being so fr thank you for reading i truly appreciate it :')
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ taglist: @plzdonutpercieveme , @mantalray , @risagichi , @rjreins
Officially my favourite Caleb x non!MC story ever.
Little spoiler :
I kept on playing "Wildest Dreams" by Taylor Swift during the scene of the misunderstanding while Star was running through the wedding party because it was giving ✨️diva✨️
NAUUUUUUUR MC YOU ARE SO FUCKING MESSY-
Me: en gar!
Fencing opponent: it's en garde
Me: *holding an elongated fish* no
After stealing my time, money and dignity, infold just stole my hair.
Greedy behaviour.
Every time you like this BRYOZOAN COLONY a podcast bro falls in a pit!!
NOT SO INVISIBLE STRING — GOJO SATORU
synopsis: the universe has a funny way of working. gojo always knew he was destined to be with you and so did others. it just took some time for you to figure that out as well.
content warning(s): FLUFF! eventual smut so 18+ mdni, fem! reader, pining gojo (sooo cute), mutual pining, friends to lovers, unproetected sex, gojo calling you baby multiple times while going innn.
word count: 6.8k zoo wee mama... pls read anyway or i'll d—
SPRING 2008
“So, you’re not gonna miss me? Not even a little?”
An arm was suddenly thrown across your shoulders, leaving you to bear its weight. The press of his uniform stuck to your nape, making his presence all the more difficult to ignore.
Fellow students bustled and sidestepped their way around you two, some even falter in their steps to ogle briefly at the scene unfolding before them.
“Satoru, move!” Shoko— your saviour— jabs Gojo’s side, urging him to budge, but to no avail.
He’s still tethered to your side, twirling around his diploma in his unoccupied hand despite your best efforts to create space between you two. “You’re literally blocking people’s way toward the gates,” she says.
It’s graduation day and the last day of school for the spring semester, bringing the school year to yet another successful end. It also meant that today would be the last time your upperclassmen would walk on school grounds as students.
The sun was beginning to dip behind the many trees surrounding the school, and its marvellous glow cast warm hues of pink and orange that stretched across the sky. Its rays descend onto the school’s campus; setting for a brilliant, comforting atmosphere.
Answering Gojo’s initial question about whether you’d miss him, you avert eye contact with your persistent senior. “I never said that,” your voice teeters between a grumble and a groan riddled with exasperation.
Your eyes sweep the courtyard and you spot a few familiar faces in the crowd. Some are gathered along the steps leading up to the school taking photos to commemorate today. Others linger on campus chatting amongst themselves, and some whack each other with their diploma scrolls while others treat theirs delicately.
And not too far off from where Satoru holds you hostage stood a small crowd of his classmates—specifically, his female classmates— waiting for their chance to bid their goodbyes...
Or stumble out an unprepared confession thrown out in the heat of the moment before they may never see Gojo Satoru again.
Who knows.
All you’re sure of is that they are most definitely throwing you shady death glares from your peripheral.
“Y’know, I’m gonna miss you,” Gojo says, his arm still looped around your shoulders. He has half a mind to drag you away from standing right front and centre in the entranceway and shuffles you off to the side. “All the years we’ve spent together—”
“Two years, by force.”
“— and now we’re being split apart,” he finishes, paying no mind to your sardonic comment. The infliction in his voice prompts you to turn to look at him, only to wind up and see a slight pout tugging at his soft, pink lips. “How ever will we manage?”
You smother down the urge to heave a loud and heavy sigh at the clingy characteristics he’s displaying today and decide to play nice.
Gojo’s always been one to be playful, perhaps even a bit pushy at times but it was all in good nature. However, for some reason, his antics have reached a whole new level today.
Emotions were running high among staff and students alike. Some are more potent and… persistent than others.
“You’ll be fine,” you assure, patting his arm half-heartedly, “and I will certainly be fine. Everything will be just fine.”
In the middle of your sentence from the corner of your eye, you spot another one of your seniors— Geto Suguru. You watch him step out from a conversation with two classmates of yours (Haibara and Nanami) and is now trekking his way over to where you and Gojo occupy the front steps.
“Geto-senpai!”
Geto greets you warmly by placing a comforting hand on your head and gives you a reassuring pat once, then twice. The action leaves your hairstyle a little dishevelled, nonetheless, there’s a small smile tugging at your lips.
You’ve only interacted with Geto a sparse number of times outside of class or at the end of the school day. Whenever you both would cross paths you appreciated how he would regard your presence with temperance. It always left you feeling at ease. You’ll miss him.
You’ll especially miss how he was so quick to offer you and Haibara snacks from the vending machines on campus.
Gojo emits a pathetic squawk at the special name drop.
Pale, white brows are pinched tightly together with faux betrayal. “How come he gets honorifics but I don’t?!” he complains once Geto’s within earshot.
“I see that Satoru's already started…”
Though Geto was talking to no one in particular, Shoko chips in given that she bore witness to Gojo’s incessant pestering toward you ever since the home bell rang. “You missed the part where he blocked her from getting to the lockers for a good several minutes.” Unzipping her bag, she carelessly shoves her diploma into it.
“But anyway, I’m gonna head out for a smoke. I’ll catch you guys later.” Before departing, Shoko stretches her hand towards you and gives your arm an affectionate squeeze. “Get home safe, ‘kay? Don’t let these guys keep you out too long.”
Which reminded you…
“Gojo, this has been fun and all…” Being rag-dolled around by your upperclassman across campus has been anything but fun. “But I really should start heading home now.”
You wanted to beat the rush hour of students and working-class alike trying to go home on a late Thursday afternoon. Looking for empty seats on the 4:25 PM train was brutal and you did not have the energy to stand the entire ride home.
Sensing your air of urgency, he eventually relents. Heaving a dramatic sigh, Gojo steps back a few and gives you some space.
“Gimme a second, yeah?” He rummages around in his uniform pocket, searching for something. It only lasts about a second before he pulls out his flip phone.
“Suguru!” A curt upward nod of Gojo’s head is the only warning Geto gets before he tosses his cell toward his best friend to catch. You’re appalled that he catches it so easily with the little to no notice that was given. “Take a picture of us.”
…Huh?
Your brows drew close-knit together with confusion. “What are y—?!” Before you can even finish your question, you’re pulled tightly into Gojo’s side.
His arms circle your neck once more, but this time, he uses the opportunity of your close proximity to tip his head to the side and knock it against your own.
“Smile,” Gojo murmurs into your ear, his slender fingers pinching at your cheek prodding for you to plaster on a sugary smile for the picture.
You don’t have enough time to register, let alone recover from how his lips faintly brushed against your skin, Gojo’s already obnoxiously yelling “Cheese!” towards the awaiting camera.
Snapping the photo Geto sports a lazy grin admiring his work. “Looks good,” he says before he tosses the phone back to its owner.
You’re still reeling over the gentle graze of Gojo’s lips against your cheek, too dazed to digest what’s going on around you. What. In. The hell. Just happened???
Sputtering out a laugh, Gojo grins down at the image on his phone. “What’s with that face you’re making, huh?”
Eyebrows furrowing, you look up at Gojo curiously. Whatever was in that picture that made him smile that wide couldn’t have been good. “What do you mean?” You question, stepping closer to see what he was referring to on his screen.
Gojo tips his cell over and shows you the photo Geto took. There you both are in grain, Gojo looking the most lively out of you two. Despite the quality of the camera, you can see the proud and happy smile he wears compared to your frazzled and confused expression.
If anything, it looked like you were the one who was graduating and he so happened to snag a photo with you before your big send-off.
“I wasn’t ready…” you grumbled, looking away from his phone.
There’s a faint smile lingering on his face, blue eyes still trained on the screen. His voice's cadence grows warm and carries a small hint of affection.
“That face of yours is what I’m gonna miss the most.”
SUMMER 2009
To no one’s surprise, you and Gojo kept in close contact, even after graduating high school.
Well… More so Gojo kept in contact with you. Consistently.
Whenever he can.
He was there during your spring graduation (shocker), much to the elation of the entire female population from your graduating class. Looking back, the number of times he stopped to pose with random students around the school when he came to greet you was absurd.
You’ll also never forget how loud he cheered when your name was called despite Principal Yaga telling the audience to hold their applause and hollers until after the ceremony.
Fast forward to the summer of ‘09 where Gojo consistently seeks your presence to go and hang out with him now that you have a freed-up schedule. Whether it's with him alone or with Geto and Shoko, you can always rely on him to shoot you a ‘u busy?’ text an hour before dragging you out for the rest of the day.
“Sooo,” you start slowly.
Your eyes skim across the playground, watching the few children who were there amble and climb on the jungle gym before you. The sun was beginning to descend below the skyline, and hues of warm orange press onto your features casting you and your surroundings in a soft glow.
“You’re a… guardian now,” you state, eyeing how Gojo stretches his legs out beside you.
You both sit at a park bench, the chorus of laughter and playful shrieks surround you as you watch Megumi— a kid Gojo now supposedly looks after— poke mindlessly at something buried beneath the playground’s sand.
“Yup!” he chirps, but then it’s swiftly followed by a hesitant, “Well, sorta kinda…”
There’s a mental warfare going on in his mind as he combs through the various explanations he can give you, searching for one that would be both concise and easy for you to digest.
“To put it simply, from here on out I’m going to be a constant in Megumi and Tsumiki’s life.”
You think of the step-sibling duo. They’re the sweetest pair of children you’ve had the delight of coming across, and now…
“They’re doomed,” you say with pity, your gaze still focused on the youngest Fushiguro.
Gojo gasps in disbelief at your bold accusation with his hand flying to his chest, clearly having taken offence. “What’s that supposed to mean?!” he asks.
But before you could give him a smart alec answer, the cheerful exclamation of your name pulls your attention elsewhere. The soft thump of Tsumiki’s shoes approaching prompts you to smile brightly. With open arms, the girl practically throws herself at you and giggles.
You give her cheek an affectionate squeeze. Despite her being in the second grade, you couldn’t help but coddle her. “Why hello, Tsumiki!”
It takes her a few moments to finally release you from the hug, backing up a bit she glances up at you. “Where were you? I missed you on Tuesday, the swings weren’t fun without you!” she says, pouting.
“I wasn’t feeling the best, so I had to turn down Gojo’s invite to meet you guys at the park that day.”
Upon hearing all the commotion, Megumi spots Tsumiki talking to you a few steps from the play area. It prompts the young boy to walk over and join you three at the bench. He nods his head over at his step-sister and says, “She thought you guys broke up.”
Huh?
You blink rapidly. “Broke— Broke up!?” You squawk, the inflection of your voice rising at the ‘up’ part.
Where could she have possibly gotten that idea from? You and Gojo weren’t even dating!
Gathering your composure you plaster on a sweet smile, ready to explain to the young pair that you and Gojo weren’t together like that before a heavy arm comes hunkering down onto your shoulders. “Even if she tried, she can’t get rid of me that easily,” Gojo comments.
Christ.
Tsumiki claps her hands together in glee at this revelation. “Yay! ‘Cause I like you!” she confesses. “I thought I’d have to deal with Gojo and his friend with the big ears pushing me on the swings forever.” And with that, the girl’s already off running to the big yellow slide, pulling Megumi along in her wake.
The sweet smile you wear grows more and more strained the longer you two sit there on that damned bench with Gojo’s arm still lodged around you like it belonged there.
Long delicate fingers drum themselves along your bare shoulder which leaves a tingling sensation that lingers against your skin.
“Gojo Satoru…” you hiss between clenched teeth.
Your hand creeps up to give his knee a mean pinch, but as always, Gojo reads your movements like a damn book and catches your hand in his before that could happen. “Hm?”
“What do you mean ‘Hm’?” You gesture in the general direction of where the kids are playing. You feel your brows start to pinch together. “Why would you tell them that?!”
“It’s true though, no?” Snowy white wisps of hair fall in front of his eyes shaded by his signature round sunglasses. “We haven’t ‘broken up’ and we’re still together. Just not in their understanding of it.”
“You—! That’s not—” You flounder for words, trying to spit out why he can’t go around inadvertently feeding into the imagination of whatever relationship Tsumiki and Megumi thought you two had. But you come up blank.
“You’re irritating, you know that?” you say, as you try (and fail) at removing his arm which still rests comfortably around your shoulders, pressing you tight against him. “You’ll wind up confusing them.”
An easy smile slips onto his lips as he observes Tsumiki and Megumi scramble up the slides. “Relax,” he responds. “They’re smart kids.”
And until it was time for the Fushiguros to go home, there you two sat underneath the thinning ochre sky. Stuck under the guise of an unspoken relationship.
WINTER 2011
Being the “middleman” between two people who are so obviously into each other but cannot figure out how to hang around each other normally was all too common for Shoko.
It’s a shame that Geto wasn’t available to come down and hang out with the three of you tonight, he would’ve revelled in getting a kick out of this expected yet unexpected… turn of events.
Brought in as a buffer between you two, with an unlit cigarette dangling loosely from her lips Shoko leaned back in her chair and watched the buzzing scene before her unfold with bemused eyes.
Underneath the comforting golden glow of the restaurant’s hanging table light, Gojo picks at the cookie dough chunks that litter your plate to which you turn a blind eye. Now, Shoko could’ve easily brushed this occurrence off, seeing that friends often eat from each other's share of food all the time.
But something was... different.
With Gojo seated to your left inside the booth, he neatly cuts up a piece of his soft, creamy cheesecake and leverages the small serving on his spoon. “Here, try some of mine,” he says.
Harmless, right?
So, you reach for your own spoon to retrieve the sample of dessert that he was offering you. But without any hesitation, Gojo lifts his cutlery to your lips and prods the food toward your mouth.
There was no way that he intended on doing this right here, right now. In front of Shoko especially.
“Say, ‘Ahhh’!”
Concern creases your brow when Gojo continues to press the spoon against your lips, idly humming as he waits for you to open your mouth so he can spoon feed you as if he were your mother. A delicate, yet sure hand cupping your chin and everything.
He was being serious.
From your peripheral, you catch the slow spread of a Cheshire-like grin creeping onto Shoko’s face.
You press your fingers onto Gojo’s wrist and frown. Trying to retreat from his hand, a peal of nervous laughter bubbles out from you at his display of reckless affection at the table. “Give me a br—”
Gojo uses the opportunity of your uncertain state to slip his sharing of the Japanese cheesecake into your mouth in the middle of your sentence. Your eyes widen a small fraction at its creamy taste, prompting him to comment, “It’s good, right?”
The cigarette threatens to slip from Shoko’s mouth, as her lips slightly gape at what just happened before they curve into a soft smile. Her brown eyes are warm with… something. It’s as if she knew something that you didn’t.
“Ehhh…” Is all she says before you’re already jumping down her throat to clear up any misunderstandings.
“It’s nothing!” you supply in a rushed manner. Your main objective was to simply imply that this was nothing for her to lose her head over. Hell, even the friendliest of friends feed each other all the time! Right?
But at your remark, Gojo’s mouth downturns into a cute little pout. “What do you mean, ‘nothing’?” From the corner of your eye you glance at how he’s fixed another spoonful of the dessert, and it's hovering in your direction.
“Sato—” Fuck.
You quickly correct yourself on your mistake, and school your voice to have a bit more edge to it. Despite that, you don’t overlook how hard Gojo’s beaming at you. “Gojo, not now.”
“Ehhh?” Shoko exclaims once again, but this time the cadence of her voice has changed. It’s gained an amused note to its tune. “You call him Satoru now? Since when?”
“I’ve been begging her to use it for the longest time ever,” Gojo answers on your behalf, and he ignores your mutter for him to please stop talking in favour of jabbing an accusatory finger at you. “You know how painful it was to see you be all chummy and on a first-name basis with everyone but me?”
Lord. You’ve forgotten how dramatic he could be.
There’s a teasing glint in Shoko’s eye that you quite don’t like, and her lips purse heavy with consideration at his comment. “You make him beg?”
Groaning, you cross your arms against the table and bury your face. You can’t with them. Your two former upperclassmen were the bane of your existence right about now.
“I’ll kill you both,” you mutter, your speech muffled by the fabric of your sweater.
A FEW YEARS LATER
A calming blue nightly glow ripples through your curtains, casting your room in nothing but moonlight. Amidst the serene silence, you idly stare at your screen and read the text Satoru sent you right as the clock struck midnight.
Satoru: Are you home?
What an ominous question. Your eyes skim over his message again. And then again.
…And again.
Thumbing through your phone, you glance at the time displayed on the top of your screen. It’s been five minutes since you’ve opened his text. You should probably send something back soon before he quintuple texts you.
As you’re about to respond right when Satoru immediately shoots you another.
Satoru: I KNOW you see this!!! ( `ε´ )
Satoru: Hurry hurry hurry
You: yes... why?
Now it’s his turn to take a while to respond. First, it takes a couple of minutes for you to receive that pinging chime; indicating that he’s texted you back— which isn’t too bad because you like to consider yourself a pretty patient person.
But then five minutes slowly turn into ten, and that ten becomes a whopping fifteen until finally he answers.
Satoru: Open your door.
What the fuck.
Satoru: Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepl
So that’s why he took so long to reply. The man was coming all the way down from his place to come and visit you!
You: you're actually insane.
You: hold on!
Rising from your seated position on your bed, you stalk over to your bedroom door and are about to exit when you spot yourself in a nearby mirror.
“Oh!” you exclaim to no one in particular. You can’t open the door for him looking like… this.
Wait, why do you care about what Satoru thinks of your clothes?!
He’s seen you wearing much worse. Like that one instance in first-year, when you had to borrow Geto’s spare parachute pants because Haibara accidentally spilt his soda all over your lap during an informal outing with everyone.
Yeesh.
Shaking your head, you slip out of your room and pad down your apartment hallway wearing your discoloured oversized band tee and shorts. Upon reaching your door, your hand hesitates on the doorknob.
It stays like that for a few seconds until the doorknob is rattled in a fashion that’s all too persistent, annoying, and all from—
“Satoru!” you hiss, swinging the door open. You’re ready to chew him out on how much of a nuisance he may be for your sleeping neighbours a few doors down. But your looming reprimand falls short on your tongue once your eyes take in the man facing you.
“Happy birthday!”
In the darkness, the soft glow of sparklers illuminates your features and highlights the exquisite details of a beautifully decorated cake held in Satoru’s hands.
Wordlessly, your hand aimlessly searches for the light switch to brighten up your hallway so that you may get a better look at what’s on the cake.
Something trembles in your chest and it hurts a little to breathe. But not in the way that you detest.
He’s cute.
Gojo Satoru is so heartbreakingly cute.
On the cake, you see that damn grainy photo you two took on his graduation day back in ‘08. The photo you love to hate.
Wetness springs to your eyes from the entire gesture, from the fact that he ensured he was the first one through text and physically to wish you a happy birthday, and from the fact that he’s here right now.
“Hey…” There’s concern creasing Satoru’s expression as he pokes his head down a little to get a better read on you. “Are you crying?”
You sniff back your tears and grunt out a watery, “No… Shut up and come in already.”
Ushering him inside, Satoru hands you your cake, toes off his shoes and heads straight to your living room. Good to see that he’s already making himself at home.
Plopping himself down onto your couch you hesitantly follow behind him, suddenly feeling like a stranger in your own home. “Come, come!” He waves a welcoming hand at you and pats the seat beside him, insinuating that you should sit.
With immediate interest, you do as he says and take a seat beside him after you position your cake in the middle of your coffee table. The couch feels so small now, with him spread out like that.
Pulling out something from his pocket with one hand and tugging off the party hat from his head with the other— had he been wearing that the whole time?— Satoru clears his throat. “Before you cry again, I gotta make sure you’re able to see your present first.”
He takes your head in his hands, and you realize his fingertips are a little cold as they press on your warm cheeks. Stretching the string down from the party hat a bit, he places it under your chin and snaps the cardboard cone into place on your head.
Breathing a noise of satisfaction seemingly content with how you look, a cheeky grin dances across Satoru’s face. “Perfect. You can now go ahead and open your gift,” he says, handing you a small black velvet box with the company logo HW scrawled across it.
“Wait, what,” you deadpan.
This can’t be what you think it is.
“It’s not a ring!” Satoru blurts. But composes himself seconds later with a quip of, “Unless you want it to be?”
Har. Har. Very funny.
You disregard what he’s said and peel open the box with caring hands.
Inside was the most extravagant necklace you’ve ever laid eyes on. A diamond pendant laid bare inside the box in the shape of a forget-me-not with your birthstone at the flower's centre.
That could’ve easily cost him a little over one million yen if you think about it deeply.
“Satoru!” you squeal.
Without thinking, you throw your arms around his neck and squeeze your longtime friend into your loving embrace. Satoru’s gift to you almost topples and sinks into the crevice of your couch had it not been for his quick hand to catch the necklace.
Your heart’s racing, and initially, his body goes rigid until he gradually relaxes under your hold. “You’re crazy, ’s too expensive!” you sparingly chastise him.
Satoru swallows hard and brings a careful arm up to reciprocate the hug. You feel the warm press of his arm against the thin material of your shirt.
“Nothing’s too expensive if you’re involved,” you hear him murmur into your ear. “So, don’t worry ‘bout it.”
You give him one last bone-crushing squeeze, hoping that your rare show of physical touch does not go unnoticed and exemplifies how grateful you are. Pulling away from him you look him dead in the eyes. “Thank you, seriously.”
Shrugging you off like it was no big deal as if he didn’t blow double, maybe even triple the money the average Japanese businessman earns on a singular paycheque toward your necklace, Satoru casts you a gentle smile and changes the subject.
There would be no need to dwell on it any longer with what’s to come.
“Now…” He gives your lower back a soft pat. Once, and twice. “A birthday kiss from the birthday girl.” Satoru puckers out his lips and shuts his eyes real tight, making a huge show out of it.
For extra effect, he even hums a prolonged Mmm-ing sound to emphasize him waiting for you to initiate it.
It’s a joke; you know he’s joking. He has a ridiculously long history of being overly affectionate with his teasings and whatnot.
But this time, you really do lean in and take said kiss from him.
There’s something incredibly adorable about this kiss that has your heart surging in your chest. Partly because it’s the first time that you’re kissing each other, but mostly because of how frigid and careful it is. It made you feel as if you were in high school all over again, trying a plethora of new things for kicks and giggles.
The tension was almost palpable, thick enough to suffocate the air he breathed. Even when you pulled away creating space between you both, Satoru still felt a lingering lump in his throat.
Cracking your eyes open, you see that Satoru’s own are blown wide. Piercing cerulean eyes stare unblinking at you. Normally, you would’ve found that to be off putting as hell, had it not been for the slow rise of a blooming pink crawling up his neck.
“Sorry,” you offer weakly. Sensing that you may have gone too far, you make an effort to scoot off his lap. But a determined arm holds you in place.
“Again.” He swallows thickly, and your eyes follow that mesmerizing movement in his throat. “I… I didn’t do it right. Please.”
And who are you to make him beg? So, you do as he says.
Leaning in, your lips press against Satoru’s once more. And this time, he has the sense to close his eyes and bask in it, not daring to let his nerves get the best of him (though he’d never admit it).
Slotting yourself to be more flushed against him, the tips of your noses brush and you feel Satoru’s hand smooth down your spine. The pads of his fingertips press onto your exposed skin peeking out from underneath the hem of your shirt bunched around your hips.
God, you wanted him bad.
It’s abrupt, the way you push yourself off him and force yourself to stand on your feet, breaking the kiss. The rise and fall of your chest is a bit staggered and Satoru’s is too. He’s all red-faced and his snow-white hair is a bit dishevelled, considering how many times you’ve combed your fingers through it.
“Did I do something wrong?”
Cute.
That alone made you want to jump his bones even more.
You shake your head and get one good look at him before you leave him to head down your hallway. He looked perpetually enraptured by you, eyes hyper-focused on your every movement. “Come to my bedroom.”
Satoru’s stunned, the implications of your remark not lost on him.
And like a keen lost puppy, of course he follows. He joins you in your bedroom seconds after you and stands in the doorway, just kind of hovering there. Not sure of what to do.
Wait. Did he come here too fast? Did that make him look overly desperate? A million and one questions rush through Satoru’s mind as his neck grows red, stained with embarrassment, want… arousal.
Seeing how he seems to be short-wiring at your doorway, you beckon him to join you on the bed with your hand. Once he does, he sits extremely close next to you. His clothed thigh brushes against your bare one, which sends a jolt of electricity through you.
Your fingers find his nape once again and they stroke up on his fresh undercut, prompting him to shiver a bit. “Why’re you so shy all of a sudden?” you question, your voice going gentle with a provoking edge to it.
Gaining some of his personality back, Satoru pinches your cheek. “‘Cause I didn’t think you’d want to kiss me!” But his mean hand then turns soft and slides along your jaw, his thumb rubbing smooth circles into the skin just below your ear.
“Well, I’m here,” you say, scooting impossibly closer to the man beside you, “and wanting.”
Message received.
Hauling you onto his lap, Satoru cradles your face in both hands and kisses you deeply. It’s full of emotion, expressing all the things he’s been wanting to say for the longest time. A trembled exhale escapes you, and it’s through that that Satoru uses the opportunity to slide his tongue alongside yours.
The kiss is frenzied, but so filled with love.
“So you like me?” he asks, his breathing laboured.
“Yes,” you bite, pushing him away from you and onto the mattress. “As if swapping spit with you wasn’t enough.” You guess you’ll have to show him how much you undoubtedly like him, love him even, through other means.
He huffs a breath of laughter and drops his back onto your bed. Underneath you, you see Satoru’s eyes sparkle as he watches you have your way with him.
But something’s up.
His eyes climb up a little higher and this time, he barks out a real laugh.
You still have that piece of fuck sitting on your head. You probably look stupid as hell right now.
Discerning that you’re about to raise your hand to your head, Satoru holds your wrist in his palm. There’s something bright that gleams behind those alluring pools of blue, warm and tender. He bites back a smile. “The birthday hat stays on during sex.”
You scrunch your nose at him. “You’re so dumb,” you growl with artificial frustration and tear off the cone-shaped hat from your head, tossing it into the depths of your room. He whines at its loss, but you’re quick to placate him with a slow roll of your hips into his lap.
Satoru’s jaw clenches and his hands fly to your waist, gripping you tightly as you continue to grind yourself down onto his erection. Your ministrations pull a wanton whimper from his lips, one that has you grinding with more purpose— the purpose of hearing that sound again.
“Do you like that?” you ask.
He nods, not trusting himself to speak, else he’ll let out a pathetic string of moans.
“I know, me too.” Satoru’s dick lurches in the confines of his pants as he watches you dry-hump him into the mattress slowly, your eyes shining with lust. Fuck, he could get hard just off your expression alone. “It feels reeeally nice being up on you like this,” you continue.
You have a fucking dirty mouth. One that Satoru’s growing more and more addicted to the more you speak.
There’s an incessant throbbing between your legs that you can’t quite alleviate. While rolling your hips into Satoru’s lap— with his occasional thrust to match your movements— felt good, it can only do so much. You wanted and needed more.
And so did Satoru, because he’s already pulling at the waistband of his pants. His thumb loops two layers and tugs both his pants and boxers down, revealing his toned V-line.
Fuck.
You fall victim to Satoru’s enamoured gaze from below, which makes you squirm hot with arousal. “Take it off,” he commands.
He wants you to strip him of his clothes.
Caught taking a startled breath, you ignore the wicked, handsome smile that slinks onto his face as you slip off his lap so you may curl your fingers around his waistband and pull. Your pussy clenches when his erect dick springs into view, and the heat pumping through your veins runs a little hotter.
You shiver at how pretty and filling his dick looks. After a few seconds of openly ogling at his lap, Satoru clears his throat which successfully gets you to drag your eyes back up to his face.
“While that was nice,” he starts, leveraging himself up onto his elbows and grins at your cute error, “I meant you, baby. Take it off.”
“Oh.”
Seriously? Just ‘Oh’?
Mentally facepalming, you shimmy your shorts down your legs along with your panties. They pool down at your ankles and you step out of them to stand between his legs.
Fully sitting up, Satoru pats his lap; encouraging you to sit on him again. “C’mere.”
You crawl onto his lap, but you don’t sit down fully. Hovering a few inches away from his cock, your knees press on each side of his thighs, trapping him in.
There’s no way in hell you were gonna sit down right now, knowing that if you do, you’d be pressing your bare pussy onto his naked thigh and he’d feel everything. Exposing how wet you are.
Humming, Satoru lifts the hem of your oversized top to your breasts and sighs. “Pretty,” he murmurs before he leans forward and captures your nipple into his mouth.
You gasp harshly at the titillating feeling. Your hands balance on his shoulders for support, as he rolls your nipple on his tongue.
“Sa— Ah!” You cry out. The hand between your legs startles you and has you whimpering in the open air.
“You’re wet,” he comments, slipping a finger against your slick pussy.
“Shut up about it…”
But he doesn’t. Another finger joins the first and delves down between your lips, gradually easing them inside you. They push against your walls, curling in a way that has you gasping into his neck. “You got wet from grinding alone, huh?”
A breath stutters out of your mouth and you rock yourself against his hand. You can’t take this anymore. You want more. “Do you have a condom?” you ask.
“I—” he groans when your hand slides between you two, your fingers curl around his dick and stroke his tip along your leaking slit. “I didn’t bring one, because I didn’t think we’d—”
Oh.
Biting your bottom lip, you sling a heavy arm across Satoru’s shoulders. You meet his hungry gaze with one of your own and inch closer toward his dick that rests against his stomach. What you’re about to do could be risky, but at this given moment you couldn’t find it in you to be overly stressed about it.
“No worries,” you reply, your voice barely above a whisper, “I trust you enough to pull out in time.” And like that, you push down on him and ease Satoru’s cock into your aching cunt, making him bottom out inside you completely.
You’re so wet and slippery that it took little to no effort for him to slide inside. The noise of your slick sticking to where you two meet at the hips has you two moaning softly in unison.
The harsh mutter of your name echoes off your bedroom walls and goes straight to your cunt. “So tight,” he grits out behind clenched, white teeth.
Each time you slide up and down on his cock, Satoru grows more unrestrained with his vocal appreciation of how well you take him. Desperate little moans escape him each time your sweet cunt squeezes him of all he’s worth.
You were no better. Choppy, broken whimpers can be heard from you, loving how he stretches your walks with your length. He fits perfectly inside you like your cunt was destined for this moment, for him alone.
“Let me fuck you,” Satoru blurts out. He was losing it, and he could feel him tipping closer and closer to the edge of release.
“You are— Ugn!” you say weakly when his hands grab your ass and he stands, lifting you with him as if it were nothing. Kicking off his bottoms, Satoru props you on your back against your mattress.
Crawling between your legs, he positions the crown of his cock to press against your opening. “No,” he drawls, with one hand on the base of his shaft and the other propped beside your head. “Let me fuck you.”
He pushes in and you swear you see stars.
Satoru pistons himself faster and faster inside of you, rocking your bodies against the mattress which makes your wooden headboard tap noisily against your drywall.
You fear your neighbours may have some… less than pleasant words to share with you about the noise tomorrow morning.
“Ah! Fuuucking— shit!” You wail. Euphoric tears start prickling at the corner of your eyes. “Don’t stop, please!”
The pleasure melts through you when Satoru presses down harder into you, his hand finding the back of your right knee and hikes your leg around his waist so that he can fill you at a new angle.
“Baby,” he murmurs into your neck. He says it like you’ve been his for years. “Say my name.”
“S—Satoru!”
Laughing a little, probably too fucked out of his mind, Satoru removes his face from your neck and presses a hot, searing kiss onto your lips.
You yelp when he drives his cock more harshly into you, growing more desperate with the urgency to come inside you.
Riding his high, Satoru says the first thing that comes to mind, which is a long drawn-out, “Haaa…”
What Satoru meant to accomplish was to wish you another ‘Happy Birthday’, but of course, it all gets garbled up in his throat due to his approaching orgasm and comes out sounding fucking obscene.
That’s what gets you.
You come hard, your back bowing off the bed. Satoru, remembering your initial statement about how you trust him to pull out, does exactly that. Albeit, he did it at the very last second, but you avoided a pregnancy scare. So you can’t be mad.
Thick ropes of his cum splash across your bare belly and some get on your top. You’re hyperaware of how it trickles down your abdomen, some dipping into your belly button.
Wow.
Breathing hard and heavy, both coated in sweat among… other sensual fluids, Satoru rolls onto his back.
“Stuck with me for life, huh?” he asks, delicate fingers intertwined with yours.
You hum. “Seems so…” you agree quietly.
Now that you think about it, there hasn’t ever been a moment where Gojo Satoru hadn’t been present in your life, ever since meeting him during your high school days.
You two lay like that for some time, soaking in each other’s company until the early traces of morning light ripple through your curtains.
You’re about ready to shut your eyes until your thoughts are accosted by something you offhandedly forgot.
“Satoru?” you begin, tone nice and sweet.
“Hm?”
You sit up slowly so you can peer down at his blissed-out face. “By chance, was the cake you got for me made out of ice cream?”
You know how deep his love for sweets goes. You just pray and hope to whatever higher power that he chose the safe route and chose a normal ca—
“…Yeah, why?”
Jumping out of bed, you rush to the living room where the cake is probably spilling its guts out all over your expensive, mahogany coffee table. “You IDIOT!”
A string of curses follows you out into the hallway, as Satoru sits on your bed confused.
“What’d I do?!”
Whether you liked it or not, you were stuck with this bumbling idiot if he had any say in the matter, an invisible string keeping you two bound.
And maybe it wasn’t that bad.
Even if it’s at the cost of your ¥20,000 table.
if you read this far, we're fucking making out.
Masterlist
It’s been 4 long yeays, and I’ve finally got my stuff together. Literally. Behold, the Masterlist. Everything I’ve ever written not including the stuff I have saved in drafts and queued for you while I’m not here (so I’ll be adding to this later). It’s been a journey, and I want to thank everyone for their requests, words of encouragement, and bearing with me. At long last, enjoy.
Keep reading
Please watch this you guys, this made me laugh so hard.
