Live. Laugh. Love

My name is Samantha. 24. HE>i What I have here is on my mind and heart. just follow me if you can't stop reblogging. :)

[valentina-poem]

[fieldofdahlias]

[love-letters-i-never-sent]

[lousydrawingsforgoodpeople]

[randomness-fullfilled]

I don’t really know why I’m still hoping.

[randomness-fullfilled]

I’m scared to love someone like I once did.

[walrustrain]

Do you ever feel like you’re just convenient?

You’re the convenient friend, convenient time pass, convenient relationship, convenient option for everyone.

You’re the person people hang out with because you’re easy, and always eager because you’re always just so desperate to feel wanted and not alone, but really you’re just convenient.

You know you’re not special, and that your spot in their life will be easily replaced and that they’d much rather someone else in their company- but again you’re just convenient. You’re the convenient option. The always available option.

I’m the friend who has best friends but isn’t the best friend. I’m the convenient friend. I’m the lover who falls in love but never the one being loved. I’m just the convenient route.

Im the ‘never says no’ friend. The ‘easy to take advantage of’ friend. The ‘can you do me a favour?’ friend. I’m the ‘useful until no longer of use’ friend. I’m the ‘I want to do something but everyone else is busy’ friend.

I’m the butt of the joke friend. I’m the punching bag friend. The forgotten friend. The one who’s feelings aren’t considered because I’m the ‘she’ll get over it’ friend.

I’m just the easy and convenient friend.

And that’s my own fault, thinking always being available, always being easy and giving more of myself will finally one day deem me worthy in someone’s eyes. Spoiler alert - it doesn’t. I’m still never enough.

I’m the ‘smile through the pain’ friend because being this friend hurts.

[randomness-fullfilled]

Fuck, I’m falling in love with someone I can’t have.

[randomness-fullfilled]

You don’t have to worry, I won’t make you feel uncomfortable.

I have always been good at keeping my feelings buried in my heart.

[sa-dnesss]

[sa-dnesss]

“I think I hide it pretty well. I think I make them all believe I am alright because I am functioning, but I don’t feel functional and when they ask if I’m okay, I’ll be honest. I’ll be honest but they won’t listen because no one truly wants to know.”

— no one knows me

[sa-dnesss]

yesterday ft. guccihighwaters - boy toy

[cantexistloudenoughforyou]

It would be too easy to say that I feel invisible. Instead, I feel painfully visible, and entirely ignored.

David Levithan, Every Day

[gqandw]

i hope you find time to be happy. not just strong.

[sa-dnesss]

“Being suicidal and living for others is the most drowning feeling ever”

— Why can’t I find a reason to live for myself?

[sa-dnesss]

“I could be doing “fine” but as soon as a small inconvenience happens, I am right back at the suicidal tendencies because I realise how much life sucks and how useless I am.”

—

[sa-dnesss]

“I don’t like who I am. There is nothing good about me anymore. I am sick of wasting my time. I am worn out. I am really tired.”

—