spilled marbles

Call me Marbles! (She/they) Welcome to my writing blog! AO3 account is MarbledOpalescence (Main @badass-sunshine) (Art blog @whatfinemarbles)

[pazwrites]

Some Great Character Building Exercises

Write about what their room looks like

Write about what they carry in their purse/suitcase/backpack/etc.

Write about what they pack for vacation. Do they overpack? Underpack?

Write about what they make themselves to eat when they’re home alone

Write about their self-care routine

Write about what kind of dreams they have

Write about how they’d act on public transportation

Write about how they’d handle being stuck in traffic

Write about them being late to something important

Write about them being sung happy birthday to in a restaurant

**Feel free to add more!!*

[marbledopalescence]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

sup folks! now that this is completely finished, i’m going to boost it one more time. this is the fic i wrote for the 2019-2020 penumbra minibang! links to the art created can be found in the author’s notes of the fic.

Rating: T

Pairing: Buddy Aurinko/Vespa Ilkay

Summary: Peter Nureyev, known to many as “The Angel”, escapes execution only to get caught up in the breaking of a curse. Buddy Aurinko turns into a wolf at night, while her wife Vespa is a hawk during the day, cursed never to see each other in human form again. The Board of Fresh Start’s power is growing as well, and both Peter and the two women who have saved his life are being hunted by Juno Steel, captain of the guards and Chancellor Rasbach’s right hand man. They are operating on a rapidly shortening timeline as well; something in the curse went wrong, and both Buddy and Vespa are deteriorating in different ways. Vespa is slowly losing her grip on reality, what is real and what is fake, and it’s getting harder and harder to find her way out of the hawk mind. Buddy’s body is slowly getting weaker and she finds it harder and harder to shift out of the wolf again when the sun rises. After a visit to an old friend when Vespa gets injured, they make a plan to break the curse the only way they can think of: Killing Rasbach. A Buddy/Vespa Ladyhawke au

i had a lot of fun writing this fic, so if you want to know my thoughts while writing hmu! :3

[marbledopalescence]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

It’s finally here!!! My story for the @penumbrabang this year!! I’m really excited to finally share it, and I hope you like it!! I’ll be posting a chapter a day on AO3, so keep an eye out!

Rating: T Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Category: F/F Summary: Peter Nureyev, known to many as “The Angel”, escapes execution only to get caught up in the breaking of a curse. Buddy Aurinko turns into a wolf at night, while her wife Vespa is a hawk during the day, cursed never to see each other in human form again. The Board of Fresh Start’s power is growing as well, and both Peter and the two women who have saved his life are being hunted by Juno Steel, captain of the guards and Chancellor Rasbach’s right hand man. They are operating on a rapidly shortening timeline as well; something in the curse went wrong, and both Buddy and Vespa are deteriorating in different ways. Vespa is slowly losing her grip on reality, what is real and what is fake, and it’s getting harder and harder to find her way out of the hawk mind. Buddy’s body is slowly getting weaker and she finds it harder and harder to shift out of the wolf again when the sun rises. After a visit to an old friend when Vespa gets injured, they make a plan to break the curse the only way they can think of: Killing Rasbach. A Buddy/Vespa Ladyhawke au

Art by the incredible @cryke-art, @legend-ofzegend, and @mikado214!! They’re wonderful, and the art they made was STUNNING.

[marbledopalescence]

chapter two is out now! https://archiveofourown.org/works/23773648/chapters/57106597

[marbledopalescence]

chapter three!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/23773648/chapters/58204045

[marbledopalescence]

chapter four is published!! shit pops off in this one. https://archiveofourown.org/works/23773648/chapters/58343053

[marbledopalescence]

chapter five! (and six, with the art) the shit has popped!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/23773648/chapters/58344556

[marbledopalescence]

THE EPILOGUE https://archiveofourown.org/works/23773648/chapters/58344859

[marbledopalescence]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

It’s finally here!!! My story for the @penumbrabang this year!! I’m really excited to finally share it, and I hope you like it!! I’ll be posting a chapter a day on AO3, so keep an eye out!

Rating: T Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Category: F/F Summary: Peter Nureyev, known to many as “The Angel”, escapes execution only to get caught up in the breaking of a curse. Buddy Aurinko turns into a wolf at night, while her wife Vespa is a hawk during the day, cursed never to see each other in human form again. The Board of Fresh Start’s power is growing as well, and both Peter and the two women who have saved his life are being hunted by Juno Steel, captain of the guards and Chancellor Rasbach’s right hand man. They are operating on a rapidly shortening timeline as well; something in the curse went wrong, and both Buddy and Vespa are deteriorating in different ways. Vespa is slowly losing her grip on reality, what is real and what is fake, and it’s getting harder and harder to find her way out of the hawk mind. Buddy’s body is slowly getting weaker and she finds it harder and harder to shift out of the wolf again when the sun rises. After a visit to an old friend when Vespa gets injured, they make a plan to break the curse the only way they can think of: Killing Rasbach. A Buddy/Vespa Ladyhawke au

Art by the incredible @cryke-art, @legend-ofzegend, and @mikado214!! They’re wonderful, and the art they made was STUNNING.

[marbledopalescence]

chapter two is out now! https://archiveofourown.org/works/23773648/chapters/57106597

[marbledopalescence]

chapter three!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/23773648/chapters/58204045

[marbledopalescence]

chapter four is published!! shit pops off in this one. https://archiveofourown.org/works/23773648/chapters/58343053

[marbledopalescence]

chapter five! (and six, with the art) the shit has popped!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/23773648/chapters/58344556

[marbledopalescence]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

It’s finally here!!! My story for the @penumbrabang this year!! I’m really excited to finally share it, and I hope you like it!! I’ll be posting a chapter a day on AO3, so keep an eye out!

Rating: T Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Category: F/F Summary: Peter Nureyev, known to many as “The Angel”, escapes execution only to get caught up in the breaking of a curse. Buddy Aurinko turns into a wolf at night, while her wife Vespa is a hawk during the day, cursed never to see each other in human form again. The Board of Fresh Start’s power is growing as well, and both Peter and the two women who have saved his life are being hunted by Juno Steel, captain of the guards and Chancellor Rasbach’s right hand man. They are operating on a rapidly shortening timeline as well; something in the curse went wrong, and both Buddy and Vespa are deteriorating in different ways. Vespa is slowly losing her grip on reality, what is real and what is fake, and it’s getting harder and harder to find her way out of the hawk mind. Buddy’s body is slowly getting weaker and she finds it harder and harder to shift out of the wolf again when the sun rises. After a visit to an old friend when Vespa gets injured, they make a plan to break the curse the only way they can think of: Killing Rasbach. A Buddy/Vespa Ladyhawke au

Art by the incredible @cryke-art, @legend-ofzegend, and @mikado214!! They’re wonderful, and the art they made was STUNNING.

[marbledopalescence]

chapter two is out now! https://archiveofourown.org/works/23773648/chapters/57106597

[marbledopalescence]

chapter three!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/23773648/chapters/58204045

[marbledopalescence]

chapter four is published!! shit pops off in this one. https://archiveofourown.org/works/23773648/chapters/58343053

[marbledopalescence]

I love how raw and emotional your poems are! You’ve inspired me to start writing poems too. Not sure if I’m brave enough to share them with the world yet, but I just wanted to thank you for writing and for sharing your work

hello anon!! i am sorry this has taken an age and a day to respond too, but thank you. this message made me so happy to receive, and the idea that my poetry has inspired other people has me a fair bit giddy!! thank you thank you for taking the time out of your day to send this, it means the world to me. i hope you’ve been well since then <3

(also, i’ve moved all of my poetry to a new blog, @intearsofstarlight! i’m going to leave them up on here still, but all new ones i’ll be posting there)

[marbledopalescence]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

It’s finally here!!! My story for the @penumbrabang this year!! I’m really excited to finally share it, and I hope you like it!! I’ll be posting a chapter a day on AO3, so keep an eye out!

Rating: T Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Category: F/F Summary: Peter Nureyev, known to many as “The Angel”, escapes execution only to get caught up in the breaking of a curse. Buddy Aurinko turns into a wolf at night, while her wife Vespa is a hawk during the day, cursed never to see each other in human form again. The Board of Fresh Start’s power is growing as well, and both Peter and the two women who have saved his life are being hunted by Juno Steel, captain of the guards and Chancellor Rasbach’s right hand man. They are operating on a rapidly shortening timeline as well; something in the curse went wrong, and both Buddy and Vespa are deteriorating in different ways. Vespa is slowly losing her grip on reality, what is real and what is fake, and it’s getting harder and harder to find her way out of the hawk mind. Buddy’s body is slowly getting weaker and she finds it harder and harder to shift out of the wolf again when the sun rises. After a visit to an old friend when Vespa gets injured, they make a plan to break the curse the only way they can think of: Killing Rasbach. A Buddy/Vespa Ladyhawke au

Art by the incredible @cryke-art, @legend-ofzegend, and @mikado214!! They’re wonderful, and the art they made was STUNNING.

[marbledopalescence]

chapter two is out now! https://archiveofourown.org/works/23773648/chapters/57106597

[marbledopalescence]

chapter three!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/23773648/chapters/58204045

[marbledopalescence]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

It’s finally here!!! My story for the @penumbrabang this year!! I’m really excited to finally share it, and I hope you like it!! I’ll be posting a chapter a day on AO3, so keep an eye out!

Rating: T Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Category: F/F Summary: Peter Nureyev, known to many as “The Angel”, escapes execution only to get caught up in the breaking of a curse. Buddy Aurinko turns into a wolf at night, while her wife Vespa is a hawk during the day, cursed never to see each other in human form again. The Board of Fresh Start’s power is growing as well, and both Peter and the two women who have saved his life are being hunted by Juno Steel, captain of the guards and Chancellor Rasbach’s right hand man. They are operating on a rapidly shortening timeline as well; something in the curse went wrong, and both Buddy and Vespa are deteriorating in different ways. Vespa is slowly losing her grip on reality, what is real and what is fake, and it’s getting harder and harder to find her way out of the hawk mind. Buddy’s body is slowly getting weaker and she finds it harder and harder to shift out of the wolf again when the sun rises. After a visit to an old friend when Vespa gets injured, they make a plan to break the curse the only way they can think of: Killing Rasbach. A Buddy/Vespa Ladyhawke au

Art by the incredible @cryke-art, @legend-ofzegend, and @mikado214!! They’re wonderful, and the art they made was STUNNING.

[marbledopalescence]

chapter two is out now! https://archiveofourown.org/works/23773648/chapters/57106597

[marbledopalescence]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

It’s finally here!!! My story for the @penumbrabang this year!! I’m really excited to finally share it, and I hope you like it!! I’ll be posting a chapter a day on AO3, so keep an eye out!

Rating: T Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Category: F/F Summary: Peter Nureyev, known to many as “The Angel”, escapes execution only to get caught up in the breaking of a curse. Buddy Aurinko turns into a wolf at night, while her wife Vespa is a hawk during the day, cursed never to see each other in human form again. The Board of Fresh Start’s power is growing as well, and both Peter and the two women who have saved his life are being hunted by Juno Steel, captain of the guards and Chancellor Rasbach’s right hand man. They are operating on a rapidly shortening timeline as well; something in the curse went wrong, and both Buddy and Vespa are deteriorating in different ways. Vespa is slowly losing her grip on reality, what is real and what is fake, and it’s getting harder and harder to find her way out of the hawk mind. Buddy’s body is slowly getting weaker and she finds it harder and harder to shift out of the wolf again when the sun rises. After a visit to an old friend when Vespa gets injured, they make a plan to break the curse the only way they can think of: Killing Rasbach. A Buddy/Vespa Ladyhawke au

Art by the incredible @cryke-art, @legend-ofzegend, and @mikado214!! They’re wonderful, and the art they made was STUNNING.

[marbledopalescence]

i keep thinking-

(shut UP i want to tell myself

you say this every time, it doesn’t change

how many poems can you start the same fucking way?)

-about what i’d say to you-

(then say it or stop

holding yourself in this holding pattern is doing NOTHING but hurting you

let it go

let it drop

stop fucking thinking about it)

-about what i’d do-

(then DO IT

or are you a coward

again

[i have always been a coward i will always be a coward the what ifs taunt me with their possibilities

what if you say no what if you say yes what if i lose you what if i mess up what if we try and it’s nothing and we’d be better off apart what if-]

spinning thoughts round and round)

-about what you’d say to me

(i am tired of this

i am so tired

i want to SHAKE MYSELF AND SHOUT

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU WHY CAN’T YOU LET IT GO

STOP THIS

STOP

IT IS GETTING YOU NOTHING AND NOWHERE)

     - i am tired of my self and i don’t know how to make myself go away

[marbledopalescence]

thinking tonight about how i’ve never been in a relationship longer than three months

i ended that because i wasn’t ready to go as far as she was

i’ve never been kissed, never been held

(and i always feel like i have to qualify feeling like this

i know i’m young, i know i have time, i know having a partner won’t make me stop feeling so lonely all the goddamn time.

but it’s nice to imagine.)

it’s just disheartening.

when nothing ever works out for me.

when i have had two people in my entire life want me enough to date me.

when i was fifteen i went on two dates with a boy.

he didn’t call me after that.

when i was eighteen i dated a girl for three months.

i ended it because she loved me and i didn’t.

~~

i worry constantly if what i’m feeling is even real.

i will ache over someone for months and then it’s gone like it never even happened.

what if i tell someone and that happens anyway?

what if i trick myself into emotions and they fall anyway?

what happens if they find out what i’ve done wrong?

i’m so afraid of stopping loving someone that i don’t know if i can even start.

some days i want so desperately i want to scream.

i want and i want, but it’s never there.

and some days i’m afraid it never will.

[marbledopalescence]

things i almost remember

Link to ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24013276

Rating: Gen

Length: ~11.5k

Pairing: Cosette Fauchelevent/Éponine Thénardier

Summary: Cosette doesn't remember her past. All she has is a lingering memories of a song, a woman in white, and a locket with an inscription reading Together In Paris. An Éposette Anastasia au.

My piece for the @thelesmisbigbang! This was a fabulous project to be a part of, and big kudos to the mods for organizing the event!!

You can see the accompanying piece of art here

[marbledopalescence]

sup folks I'm going to try and shake this back into being a more active blog! school's been kicking my ass this semester, but hopefully once it ends for the summer I'll have more time to do writing things

also if you've ever sent me a writing prompt/request and I haven't gotten to it yet, I'm sorry, I've seen it and thought about it, and I will write it at some point still. also I have some stuff up on my ao3 (MarbledOpalescence) that I may have forgotten to post here too, so check it out!

anyways, I hope you're all doing well and staying safe <3

good luck out there, kiddos

[marbledopalescence]

I wish I didn't have this ache in me.

Wish I could take this aching heart and shake it, until I knew I would be okay.

Because rationally, I know that having a partner won't fix me.

I know at this point in my life I'd probably be a shitty girlfriend too.

(girlfriend boyfriend partner who am I even what is gender anyway)

I'm too selfish and too selfless

Don't know how to take care of myself (have care for myself) let alone care for someone else too.

Don't know how to ask for affection

Don't know how to give it properly without giving my whole self

Carve out pieces of my heart and give them, dripping, to someone else to hold.

Sometimes I wish I could carve out this aching heart and replace it with one more sensible, less sensitive.

I have always had a lover's heart, useless as it's been.

Perhaps I'd have been better off a cynic than a dreamer.

-hearts are unlucky things to have

[marbledopalescence]

i keep thinking about you

i know i keep saying it but it keeps happening

i don't know what to do about it

nothing's going to come of this

there's not going to be a me and you

just

a friendship

friendships have saved my life

so being friends with you

having you in my life

it will be good

(but how i wish sometimes it could be more)

-i'm sorry i can't stop

[marbledopalescence]

It's 1 am and I'm thinking about my responsibilities

Today was a wash and I'm trying not to let it drag me down

Pull me into that undertow and send me flowing out to sea, drowning in an ocean of my own creation

It's late and I should go to sleep

But my brain is still turning

Tallying the things I should have done today

Tallying the things I need to do tomorrow

Tallying my worries

My cares

My responsibilities

When can I take the time to tally my hopes?

To tally my dreams, my ambitions, the things I love doing and the times I spend just doing nothing because sometimes nothing is the best thing you can do?

Sometimes the tally seems unbalanced

Weighted to the side that drags me down like an anchor around my neck

The worries outweigh the hopes

How do I even hope anymore

How do I hold dreams when I don't even know what the next month will be

I don't remember the last time I held a hope so big it filled my heart and watched it come true

If your hopes get dashed enough times is it worth it hoping again?

But then, I have always had a lover's heart

A heart maybe more trouble than it's worth

Jumping to conclusions, leaping without looking

Falling

It's 1 am and I don't know if this poem makes sense anymore

My brain still keeps spinning

I wonder when it will get still enough to sleep

-thoughts at 1 am

[marbledopalescence]

It's 4am, and I'm thinking about how I've never been in love

I'm not...sad, specifically

Just thinking

Yearning

I'm not sure what it feels like to be in love

Is it all consuming, always on your mind?

Is it a quiet presence, a comfort you can draw on?

Is it a feeling of home, of belonging, of a person that makes you feel matched

I don't know

I haven't felt it

Maybe it's different for different people

Maybe love changes as it ages

What starts as a fire of passion may soften to the steady flow of embers

Or it might blow out too quickly, too unstable to last

How will I know when I feel it?

Is it when I can't stop thinking about them, when they're never far from my mind?

Is it when I feel soft whenever I think about them?

Is it when I smile when I talk to them, when I wish I could help them when they're lost, when they help me just by being there

I don't know

I haven't felt it.

And sometimes I get tired of waiting for it to get here.

-is love strong or is it just enduring?